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Appleshadow

By PrincessAsriel :3!

Name: Appleshadow
I am in LOVE with this name. Apple isn't too common, and neither is shadow!
Gender: Female
FiNnAlY
Age: 24 moons
Quite young.
Clan: Riverclan
My favorite clan :)
Appearance: Small calico she-cat with piercing green eyes and a very fluffy tail.
I love calicos :D!! I find green eyes overused, but not as much as blue eyes, so they're ok.
Rank: Warrior
Kewl!
Personality: Caring and gentle, but also protective and loyal to a fault.
More flaws!!!!!!!! We need more flaws!!! We don't really want a Mary Sue running around, do we? How about making her timid or something. Every cat should have some flaw!
((This is in the old forest))
Backstory: (A/N) I'm too lazy to type this up so I'll do a screen shot.

I like how she used to be a kittypet, not many people do it. What happened to her mom? Does she have siblings, etc? I'm slightly confused why she became a warrior early due to a strong bond. Did Sunwing convince the leader to make her one earlier..? I feel bad for her. Cruel leader >~<. Did something else happen? When did she get kits? Any raids or important battles? I'd like to know more.

Mate: Sunwing
These are both very common names, but it's cute. I like it. What does he look like?
Kits: Firekit/shadow, a white with orange and black splotches, she-cat. Spottedkit/flame, a solid black tom with orange spots.
First of all, Fire- and Spotted- are probably the most overused prefixes of all time. -shadow as a suffix isn't very common, and -flame is fairly common. I've actually seen an OC named Spottedflame before. Again, I'm judging Appleshadow, not anyone else. What color are their eyes? I'd like to know :D!

Rating: 7/10
This OC is cute. The name and appearance are adorable!! Green eyes are overused, but that's fine. I have a few problems, though: WE NEED FLAWSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. No cat is perfect. Perhaps you forgot to list them, I don't know. But please, add some flaws. Also, I'd like to know more details in the backstory. Why did she get a warrior rank early because of a bond? Did anything else happen to her? A raid? Battle? When did she get kits? Otherwise, this OC is good.

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