On December 20, 2022, my grandpa passed away. It was unexpected but quiet, and I'm glad my family and I got to stay with him until he drew his final breath.

He was an eccentric man with niche interests, such as mushrooms and any type of measuring gadget. Different sorts of thermometers, barometers, compasses, etc. Sometimes I would show him something clever, and he would always respond with a little laugh, an exclamation of, "Oh, that is neat!" and would proceed to ask me how it worked. We were alike in that way, since we both thought in numbers when we could. He'd think in measurements, I'd think in statistics. And one of the last things he said to me was, "I've always liked that about you. You're analytical."

But one thing I admired most about him was his determination to live. No, he wasn't scared of dying, but to him, as long as we—his family—were still around, that was a good enough reason to love life. And he faced every day with a smile despite being chronically ill with Crohns and a rare blood cancer.

I've been pretty open with my struggle with depression and anxiety, and I'd say this book is a testament to that. From posing semi-regularly, to focusing my attention on another project, to...completely stop writing altogether. It was after I had to drop out of university back in August when he laid everything out in front of me, telling me that I was doing the best I could for someone in my situation. "And you still have time to figure things out. And I know you will, because you already have a plan in your head on what to do next."

I hope to keep that mentality, looking forward. I wish he were still here, but I know when kingdom comes, he'll be there to tell me he always knew I would make it through.

And to parody what Carth said, maybe if we had more time, I could have told him how much his words meant me.

I love you, Grandpa, and I won't give up.

And he said even in misery
There's happiness underneath
It's only in the end that you can tell
The sun will shine after rain
The pleasure comes after pain
The only way to Heaven is a road through Hell
The only way to Heaven is a road through Hell

   — "Road Through Hell" by The Federal Empire