ACT ONE.  CHAPTER XI:
THE QUEEN WHO NEVER WAS

RIVER VILLAGE, WAKANDA.
2016, APRIL 14.

If only people would stop suffering the mistakes of those who came before them. If only the questionable, not to say bad, actions of people who had returned their breath to the wind, would sink into total oblivion. If only.

We could remake the world with "if".

Sade sighed as she looked at one of her computers, anguish slowly eating away at her. At this point, the ceremony was surely about to begin, but she felt pinned to her seat, staring desperately at all the sketches of weapons that sat on her wall.

Part of her wanted to convince herself that everything would be okay, that her brother would be fine, and that the feeling she had would disappear when she would return to the waterfalls. But there was this twinge in her heart that kept telling her "what if?", what if T'Challa didn't survive? The young princess was not stupid, let alone naïve, to believe that N'Jadaka had no chance of winning. Her brother was a righteous man, but their cousin had grown up feeding the hatred that sat within him, only allowing himself to be blinded by it. He must have done all this just to be able to come one day to his father's country to get back what he felt was rightfully his.

Looking for a moment at the trembling of her hands, Sade transferred all of her files to an external disk, which she promptly buried in a bag. She also removed the numerous sketches that adorned her wall, taking care not to leave anything out. Because that voice that said, "what if?", she preferred to listen to it. She preferred to prepare herself for the worse than to naively blind herself, she owed it to her little sister at least. If by any means N'Jadaka managed to gain the throne, the young princess knew that weapons would be his primary objective. Whether it be overproduction, export, or even research. It was inconceivable for her to leave her work at the mercy of a tyrant, knowing full well that he would sooner or later find out what she was doing in that cabin.

"Sade?"

The young woman jolted as she turned abruptly, dropping some notebooks to the floor which she hurriedly picked up. She looked briefly at the man standing at the entrance to her office before turning her attention back to her bag, urgency transpiring from her every move.

Watching her for a moment, Namor frowned as he looked around the rest of the space, seeing that everything remained in its place. He'd known something was wrong the moment she'd jumped at the sight of him in the room, knowing that she never let herself be surprised.

"Sade." he called to her more firmly as he grabbed her wrist in mid-movement, making her look up at him. "What is going on?"

Immediately looking away, she released her hand slightly as she continued to remove all the blueprints left on her table and put them in her bag. Far be it from her to want to ignore him, but she simply wanted to hurry back to the waterfalls, not even knowing where to begin to explain to him what was going on.

"Nothing. I-"

With a quick gesture that caught her off guard, he grabbed her jaw to force her to look at him, eyebrows furrowed at her demeanour.

"I asked you a question. I don't particularly like the fact that you aren't answering me."

Also frowning at his sentence, she curtly released his hand, putting the bag on her shoulder.

"I'm not one of your subjects, Namor. And certainly not your thing. If I said 'nothing', it's 'nothing'. Stop acting like I owe you something. Whatever you wanted to do or tell me can wait." she replied bluntly, giving him a slight push to head for the door.

With a surprised expression, the Talokanil king caught up to her and held her by the arm, making her sigh quietly as she removed her hand from the handle.

"What about the thing I wrote?"

Sade looked at him for a moment thinking it was a bad joke before letting out a snort, shaking her head. She'd been right to wonder what she should think of the words he'd left on a piece of paper while she was asleep.

"The thing? You call that the thing?" she asked him, scoffing lightly at the confusion she could read on his face. "I really want to get mad at you but now is really not the time. If you think writing the thing down like you say, on a piece of paper, was going to change anything, you really need to ask yourself the right questions."

Not giving him time to answer, she closed the door behind her before rushing towards the waterfalls, only having in mind the fight that T'Challa and N'Jadaka were having right now. With her heart racing and her sense of unease intensifying, she made her way into one of the tunnels.

Remaining in the shadows of the passageway, she suppressed a gasp as she saw Killmonger's knee slam into her brother's face, sending him crashing into the rocky floor of the challenge pool.

"Is this your King? The Black Panther, who's supposed to lead you into the future?"

"Come on brother!" shouted Shuri at their mother's side, who held her back with her hand, fighting back her own tears that were threatening to spill.

Sade closed her eyes for a moment, sticking her head against the icy wall of the tunnel, taking a deep breath to avoid rushing to her brother's side. Feeling her eyes grow glassy, she blinked several times before returning her gaze to the challenge.

"Him?" shouted Killmonger, pointing at a grunting T'Challa in pain, trying to get up. "He's supposed to protect you?"

A glimmer of hope formed as she saw him get up, only to be crushed as she saw his condition, especially the state of his face. She clenched and unclenched her fists in an attempt to stop her hands from shaking, feeling her breath begin to hitch as Erik dodged T'Challa's attack to carry him on his shoulders.

"Bast, I'm begging you," she let out in a whisper as she watched him start walking towards the edge of the challenge pool.

Each step he took was like a dagger being thrust into her heart, slowly working its way into her vital organ as if to revel in its agonising jolts. The slowed beating gave way to a stunned silence as the figure of T'Challa disappeared from her sight as Erik heaved him off the waterfall.

"Nah. I'm your king."

Looking for a moment at the spot where she saw her brother disappear, Sade bit her tongue to suppress a sob that threatened to come out before escaping to the palace, only having the idea of sabotage on her mind. It gave her something else to think about than what she had just witnessed, stifling for a moment the agonised cries of a heart that was trying to beat again.

The young princess, once she arrived at the lab, took out one of the flash drives she had retrieved from her cabin, glancing behind her before moving to a computer. She knew her mother, Shuri and Thema were safe with Nakia, it was one less thorn in her flagellated organ, giving her some time to do what she had to do. Plugging her key into one of the computers, she waited patiently for the virus to spread and gangrene the entire system, ignoring the incessant shaking of her hands. Sade found herself avoiding blinking, wanting to escape the thought of her brother's death in the middle of a place that had become hostile to her with a snap of fingers.

Glancing furtively over her shoulder, she didn't even crack a smile as she saw the laboratory plunged into darkness, followed by several parts of the palace, hurrying to put her things away and head for her last stop. The darkness was not a problem for her, beyond the fact that she could see perfectly through the thick layer of shadows, the young princess knew every corner of the palace inside and out.

"Easy! It's me!" Nakia whispered to her, looking at the dagger she had placed against her neck.

Sade relaxed slightly at the sight of the spy, glancing down the dark hallway she had just left. The space they were in was equipped with emergency lights, allowing her to see the young woman's face more clearly.

"Imani, your mother and sister are looking for you."

"I know. I just have something to pick up before-"

"You're going to T'Challa's room." Nakia cut her off as she saw her looking around frantically.

Simply nodding, she tucked her dagger into her coat, her eyes fixed on the floor.

"I'm going to look for Okoye. We need to get Ross too."

"I'll meet you in his office." she told her simply before rushing through the halls, tensing at the slightest sound that wasn't her breathing.

Putting her still trembling hand on the handle of the deceased's room, she opened it slightly before stepping inside, closing it gently behind her. Everything was neat and tidy, the cup of coffee he used to drink every morning still on his bedside table, his scent still wafting through the now heavy air, as if he were still there.

But he wasn't. He was dead.

Pulling herself together, she searched his bedside table for their father's ring, which he had taken off for the challenge, tucking it into one of the pockets of her bag. As she was about to leave the room, her gaze lingered on a sweatshirt he had left lying on a chair. The young princess wrestled with her mind, knowing that it would hurt her more than anything else, before moving towards the cloth and clutching it. A solitary tear fell on the fabric as she wiped her eyes, preventing others from streaming down her face.

This was not the time for her to cry, she had to get out of there.

Sade stuffed the sweatshirt back into her bag before exiting the room, heading quickly towards T'Challa's office nearby. The look on Everett Ross' face informed her that he had heard the news as she locked the door behind her, avoiding the sorrowful look he gave her.

Having retrieved one of the blankets Nakia threw at her, she went ahead of them into the secret passage that had been opened. The narrow walls made her feel suffocated as she clutched her bag tightly, having found the only way to hide the trembling of her hands. After exiting the maze of corridors, she followed the spy who was likely to be the only one aware of her mother's and her sister's location.

"It's me. Nakia. Princess Imani is with me." the young woman whispered as she raised a hand to the blade Ramonda had pointed at them.

Shuri from her position rushed to take her sister in her arms, the latter returning her embrace, one hand still firmly grasping the bag she had brought back.

"It's gonna be okay." she let out in a breath, placing a kiss on her little sister's forehead.

It wasn't going to be okay. She knew that for a fact. The incessant shaking of her hands, the stinging in her eyes that she was violently suppressing, the pain in her chest that was only getting worse―everything told her that nothing was going to be okay. But Shuri didn't need to know that she was on the verge of collapse, that the bottom of the abyss was relentlessly beckoning her. No, she just needed to know that she had a shoulder to lean on.

That's what T'Challa would've done.

JABARILAND OUTSKIRTS, WAKANDA.
2016, APRIL 15.

"So where are we going again?"

"We're taking the Heart-Shaped Herb to Jabariland."

"Heart-Shaped Herb? What is that?"

"It gives whoever takes it heightened abilities." Shuri replied before squeezing her sister's hand to get her attention.

The latter looked at her quickly, flashing a smile that didn't meet her eyes before turning her attention back to the front. Ramonda was supported by Thema who was just as silent as she was, keeping her gaze fixed on the ground. She wanted to try to understand her pain, the pain of losing a lover, but hers was so deafening that she couldn't put herself in anyone's shoes.

"It's what makes T'Challa so strong."

Ross looked at Nakia for a moment before turning his attention back to her, his expression puzzled.

"Did you take it too?" he asked in her direction.

"That's another story."

His answer seemed to have awakened something in her mother as she stopped abruptly, stepping in front of her to look into the whites of her eyes.

"Imani, you should take it yourself. We may be creating a bigger monster with M'Baku." she said, grabbing her arm, not without stealing a glance at the head of the gorilla god Hanuma carved into the stone.

The young princess looked at her mother for a moment before shaking her head, the very idea of taking the plant seeming demented.

"Ma', I can't do this." she let out in a breath, straining to stop the trembling in her hands that still hadn't ceased. "It's not my place to do it. I'll never be-"

"Sade." her mother cut her off firmly, causing her to gasp in surprise at the way she had addressed her.

Honour bestows the crown.

She had never called her that, and the situation gave a whole new meaning to her use of it. Swallowing, she shook her head vigorously before closing her eyes as she felt tears welling up in her eyes.

Sade didn't want to do this. Not like that.

The young princess opened her mouth to reply before her gaze caught on the men who began to surround them, chanting and grunting. She pulled Shuri closer to her as she riveted her gaze to the ground at their mother's advice.

After performing their little intimidation act that had annoyed Sade more than anything else, the Jabari ended up escorting them to the throne room a little higher up in the mountains. She had recognised some of those who had accompanied them, and they too seemed to have some fresh memories of the young princess, giving her the shadow of smiles that disappeared as soon as a blink of the eye.

From his perched throne, M'Baku peered at them all one by one, lingering on her and Ross before turning to Ramonda. who had stepped forward slightly.

"My son... was murdered in ritual combat."

Unfazed and holding his wooden spear, he replied casually. "Were the odds fair?"

"Yes, but..." began Nakia before being cut off.

"So it was less a murder than a defeat."

Shuri, who had stayed by her side, started to get agitated. "Do not rub our noses in it!"

Sade frowned slightly as she pinched her sister to let her know that she should remain silent, scowling at her when she turned in her direction.

"Silence! I make the pronouncements here, girl."

"Look, uh, Your Highness, the new king is a U.S...."

Everett Ross's voice suddenly drowned out under the grunts of the Jabari chief whose surrounding subjects followed suit.

"You cannot talk! One more word, and I will feed you to my children." said M'Baku, addressing the CIA agent who gulped uncomfortably at his threat.

The man glanced at the young princess who expressed her annoyance by shaking her head slightly, restraining herself from rolling her eyes.

"I'm kidding. We are vegetarians."

Again with your shitty joke.

Satisfied with the effect he had caused, M'Baku chuckled, struggling to hold back.

"Can I speak to you?"

Ramonda turned abruptly to her daughter, whose gaze remained fixed on the Jabari chief, who seemed to consider her request before motioning her to come closer. Sade stood to the right of his throne, eyeing one of the guards to urge him to move. M'Baku waved the two men away slightly as the young princess looked on at the night that had covered the snowy coat of Jabariland.

"Are you going to talk?" he finally asked softly as he looked up at her. "What do you want?"

"Help."

"We're not doing volunteer work here, Imani. You know that very well."

"Everyone looks so carefree. It would be a shame for it to change." she told him before looking down into his pensive face. "Don't you think?"

"He wouldn't dare to come to the Jabari."

"He's worse than me. He won't hesitate."

M'Baku snorted, shaking his head. "Ah, because there is worse than you?"

Seeing that his joke didn't have the desired effect, his face put on a serious mask. He looked at the rest of the group still standing in front of him before turning his attention back to Sade who looked back at him with a blank face.

"Come with me." he said as he rose from his throne, motioning for them to follow him to the Jabari healing grounds.

There, in a small hut, was lying T'Challa in the snow. As everyone rushed to his side, the young princess frowned as she turned to M'Baku.

"Is he breathing?"

"He's in a coma, barely clinging to life," he replied, though he was surprised she hadn't run to her brother's side, spotting the apprehension in her eyes.

"How did you find him?"

"One of our fishermen found him at the edge of the river border. He brought him to me."

Sade simply nodded as she watched her mother crush the Heart-Shaped Herb into a bowl one of the healers had given her, turning to look away.

"Aren't you going to attend the ritual?"

"That's not my thing."

"Even stand next to your brother?"

"When he wakes up."

Crossing her arms, she ignored M'Baku's gaze to focus on something other than the scene behind her. It wasn't that she didn't want to be next to T'Challa, but she knew that if she did, she would break down. And the young princess didn't want to imagine how she would feel if the herb didn't work, and she got her hopes up for nothing.

"Thank you." she finally broke the silence, looking at the leader of the Jabari out of the corner of her eye.

"What's that? I didn't really hear-"

"I'm not going to repeat myself. You should have cleaned your ears."

"Still a pain in the ass I see."

Just as she was about to answer him, a sudden gasp behind her caught her attention, making her turn around. Sade couldn't stop a smile from stretching her features as she rushed to her brother's side in the snow, throwing her arms around him.

T'Challa laughed slightly as he returned her embrace. "If you keep choking me like that, I think I'm really going to die."

Rolling her eyes, the young princess pulled away from him before handing him a blanket, which he hurriedly put around his shoulders.

Right now, at this exact moment, hearing her brother's heartbeat was enough to heal the wounds of her wounded and aching heart.

The cries of agony had finally found purgation.

AUTHOR'S NOTE

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