Dixon’s POV

Papasok na kami sa school ngayon ng bigla akong nakatanggap ng message.

From: Craise

Dix, san ka na?

Nireplayan ko siya agad.

To: Craise

Kararating lang ng school. Na sa room ka na ba?

Pagkapark ko ng kotse ko ay agad naman akong bumaba at hinintay rin na makababa sina Seth.

From: Craise

Ok… see you…

“HOY! Sino yang katext mo ha?” –panggugulat sakin ni Lester

“Ha? Wa-wala.” –pagdedeny ko.

“Wala raw. Eh huling-huli ka na eh… Bago bang chicks yan ha Dix?” –Lester

“Chicks-chickin mo mukha mo Les. Tigilan mo nga ako.” –sabi ko sa kanya sabay tago ng phone ko sa bulsa.

“Oy, tara na, baka malate pa tayo.” –Seth

Agad naman kaming naglakad patungo sa classroom namin ng madaanan namin yung mga nagkukumpulang mga estudyante sa bulletin board.

“Ano yon? Anong pinagkakaguluhan nila don?” –Kats

“Ewan.” –kibit balikat naman ni Lester.

“Tara, puntahan natin.” –JC

Pinuntahan naman namin yon at nakitingin-tingin din kami.

“BATTLE OF THE BANDS.” –Drache

“Yun ohh… Akala ko wala ng ganito dito.  Sa wakas, makakahawak na ulit ako ng drumsticks…” –Lester

“Yeah… this would be exciting.” –Kats

“Pero… 6 members ang kailangan para daw makasali tayo.” –JC

“Ha? Oo nga noh?” –Seth

Bigla naman silang napatingin sakin.

“What?”

“Dix…” –Seth

“Oh No I can’t. I won’t join that. Kayo nalang.” –pagtanggi ko sa kanila sabay talikod at lakad palayo.

“Eh? But you can play instruments too and we need one more member para makasali.” -JC

“Then find one member that can help you. I’m sorry guiz but I really can’t.” –atsaka na ako dumiretso papunta sa classroom namin.

Music? Instruments?

I already forgot those words long time ago. And I don’t have any plan bringing them back in my life.

“Music doesn’t suit me.” –bulong ko sabay pasok sa room namin.

“Hey, bakit ang tagal mo? San na yung iba?” –bulong sakin ni Craise

“Oh, sorry, may dinaanan lang kami. Andyan na rin niyan sila.” –bulong ko rin sa kanya.

Tumango nalang siya sakin. Maya-maya konti, pumasok narin sina JC na nakasimangot.

“Anyare sa pagmumukha niyo? Ang papanget niyo na nga nakasimangot pa kayo?” –Venisse

“Nothing.” –Drache

“Nothing? Why don’t you spill it out that nothing-so-important-thing bugging on your minds?” –pag-uutos ni Venisse.

“We want to join the Battle of the bands that will be held here this Saturday.” –Lester

“And then? Why don’t you join?” –Venisse

“We’re lacking one member. We need 6 members to join.” –Seth

“You were all six in your group, why the hell you need one more?” –Venisse

“Dix don’t want to participate.” –Kats

Napaharap naman sakin lahat except for our other classmates.

“Why not join them Dixxy?” –Venisse

“I… Can’t.”

“Why can’t you?” –Venisse

“Cause… I don’t play… anymore…”

“Anymore? So you’re playing back then?” –Venisse

Medyo napatungo naman ako.

“Y-yes.”

“Then why don’t you play again? Is there something happened from the past, maybe, that let you stop from playing?” –Venisse

Napatingin naman ako sa kanya. Patuloy lang silang nakatingin sakin including Craise.

“I… I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Huh… Sometimes, you don’t need to keep it for a long time. Mas magandang wag mo ng dalhin pa ang nakaraan sa kasalukuyan. We just need to remove it so we can start… a new life.” –Venisse

“Then why don’t you apply it on yourself?” –bigla kong tanong sa kanya.

Pinanlakihan naman ako ng mata ni Craise at napailing naman sina Seth. Napatingin tuloy ako kay Venisse na blankong nakatingin sakin.

“*Chuckles* we have different situation.” –Venisse sabay lagay ng earphones niya at nagsoundtrip.

Napailing nalang si Craise sa nangyari.

Venisse is right. In order for me to go to the present, I must let go of the past… But how can I let go if…. It still hurts?

*FLASHBACK OF DIXON’S LIFE WAY BACK BEFORE*

[A/N: Their conversation will be on English because this happens at States… pero yung side ni Dix will be in Tagalog]

“WOOOOOOHHH!!!! WE LOVE YOU CYANS!!!!!” –sigaw ng mga tao sa paligid.

CYANS, that’s the name of our band. We are now at the school’s quadrangle celebrating for our foundation day. Pababa na kami ngayon ng stage. Katatapos lang naming magperform.

“Hey Dix, you have a visitor…” –ngiting sabi sakin ni Dave (kabanda ko – the lead singer)

“Who?”

“Hi.”

Napangiti naman ako nagpagkalapad-lapad ng makita ko kung sino.

“Hi.” –nakangiti kong bati sa kanya pabalik.

“Ah… what are you doing here?” –tanong ko sa kanya.

“I’m… I just want to tell you something. Are you free after this?”

“Yes? What are you going to tell me?” –tanong ko sa kanya habang ibinababa ang gitara ko.

“Ahm… change first, I’ll wait you outside.”

Pagkasabi niya non ay lumabas na siya ng room namin.

“Oh, bro, are you coming with us?” –biglang lapit sabay tanong ng kabanda kong si Gerald (bassist).

“Not now bro, I’m going out with my girl.” –sabi ko sa kanya sabay pasok sa Fitting room.

“Noemi?” –Gerald

“Yes of course. Who’s my other girl except her? Haha . I’ll get change, she’s already waiting for me outside.” –tapos tuluyan na akong pumasok at nagbihis.

Pagkatapos kong magbihis, inayos ko muna yung mga gamit ko pati narin ang sarili ko.

“Bro, are you coming?” –Harvy (kabandmate ko –drummer)

“I’ll pass for now bro, maybe next time.”

“Ah, OK… wait, have you seen Gerald? I didn’t see him here after we perform.” –Harvy

“I talk to him before changing but after that I didn’t see him. Maybe, his already outside? Or maybe, he’s finding some girls out there? Haha”

“haha… I think so. Alright, we’ll go ahead. Take care.” –Harvy

“Okay bro, I’ll go ahead too.”

Kinuha ko na yung gitara ko at isinukbit sa balikat ko. Lumabas na ako ng kwarto namin at hinanap si Noemi.

“Where is she?”

Palinga-linga lang ako pero hindi ko siya Makita.

“Ahm, excuse me, have you seen a girl here with long black hair wearing white shirt and pants?” –tanong ko sa isang janitor na naglilinis sa labas.

“Ahh… yes.”

“Where did she go?”

“At the back stage.”

“Ah… thank you.”

Nagmadali naman akong nagpunta sa likod ng backstage ng mapansin kong natanggal yung sintas ng sapatos ko kaya naman inayos ko muna.

Ibinaba ko muna yung dala ko at Umupo para maayos yung sintas ko. Tatayo na sana ako ng may mapansin akong mga paa…

Napasilip tuloy ako kung sino yung mga tao na nandito sa backstage.

Halos hindi ko na kayang tumayo sa Nakikita ko ngayon. And I wish I never seen it… Cause it hurts…

 I saw my girlfriend with my bandmate which is suppose to be my best friend, making out at the backstage. And it just… It just… AHHHH!!! NAKAKAG*GO P*TCHA!!!

At dito pa talaga?? Hindi man lang sila nahihiya?

“*moan* Ge-gerald…” –rinig kong sabi ni Noemi between their kisses.

Tapos kitang-kita kong gumagapang na yung kamay ni Gerald sa likod ni Noemi.

“*moan * Gerald *moan * …”

Noemi was just half-naked and Gerald is kissing her  while massaging her –err... you-know-what.

And base on what I am seeing right now… they are enjoying what they are doing.

Bigla namang nandilim ang paningin ko at mabilis kong sinugod ng suntok si Gerald.

“YOU AS*HOLE!!!!” –sigaw ko sa kanya sabay suntok ulit.

“DIX!!! DIX STOP… WAIT… I’LL EXPLAIN…” –natatarantang sabi ni Noemi habang pinagigitnaan kami ni Gerald. She’s still undress kaya naman hindi ko siya matingnan ng diretso.

“Mi, wear your shirt.” –utos ko sa kanya pero nakatayo parin siya.

“I SAID, WEAR YOUR F*CKING SHIRT!” –sigaw ko sa kanya kaya naman natataranta niyang kinuha yung damit niya at isinuot agad.

[A/N: Sorry to cuss guiz but… NY*MAS!!! WATTA B*TCH!!!]

“Why… why did you do this to me? Huh you… filthy as*hole!” –sigaw ko kay Gerald

“I’m sorry bro-“ –Gerald

“DON’T CALL ME BRO!!! BAKA MABRO-BRO KO YANG PAGMUMUKHA MO!!!”

Hindi nila maiintindihan yung tagalog kahit anong sigaw ko sa kanya. Mas nailalabas ko yung galit ko kapag ganito.

“Dix, whatever you say, I’m sorry man… it just… we just love each other.” –Gerald

“How long?”

“What?” –Gerald

“FOR HOW LONG ARE YOU F*CKING GONNA LIE TO ME?!”

“Dix, wait… Me and Gerald… We love each other from the start. It just happens that, I just… I'm sorry but I just used you to be close to him.” –Noemi while holding Gerald’s hand.

Para naman akong binagsakan ng 10 toneladang bato sa mga narinig ko. All these years? Haha… Niloloko lang pala ako ng GIRLFRIEND ko at ng BEST FRIEND ko. Kaya pala. Kaya pala everytime na magkakasama ang barkada, gustong-gustong sumasama ni Noemi. Ginagawa niya lang palang excuse ang ‘cause I want to be with him… always’… pero ang totoo, gusto lang nilang makasama ang isa’t isa.

Biglaan namang nagsibalikan sa utak ko lahat ng nangyari.

The day that we are celebrating Gerald’s birthday, Noemi was there. Nagpakalasing-lasing kaming lahat. At pagkagising namin isang umaga, sinabi ni Gerald na ‘this was my best birthday ever, because I’ve slept with the girl of my life.’. I thought he was pertaining to Audrey who was beside him.

And the time that we are at a bar, nagpaalam si Noemi na magsiCR lang at nagpaalam naman si Gerald na sasayaw at maghahanap ng chix, pero pagbalik nila, puno ng lipmarks si Gerald sa mukha at hinahatak naman pababa ni Noemi yung suot niya.

And the last time was when at the school camping. That night, nagpaalam si Noemi na matutulog kasama si Audrey. Tapos si Gerald naman nagpaalam na makikitulog sa bago niyang chix.

Lahat yon binalewala ko dahil may tiwala ako sa girlfriend ko. Dahil alam kong hindi sila gagawa ng ganong bagay. But at the end, mali pala ako.

I should never trust anyone… Neither my own best friend.

“Is this what you’ll going to tell me?”

“Yes.” –Noemi

“Then no need to say… I already knew it. Are you two happy now? Because I’ll be gone in your life and you won’t need to hide anything from now on.”

“Dix… we don’t want to hurt you…” –Noemi

“But you already did!”

“Dix, we’re sorry… If you want, I’ll do whatever you want… just… just forgive us.”-Gerald

“If you want me to forgive you, fix your life man and give Noemi a better life. I don’t want to hear that she’s crying because of you! And don’t ever hurt her.” –medyo naiiyak ko pang sabi.

Tapos tiningnan ko naman si Noemi na ngayon eh umiiyak na.

“You were the one who motivate me to love music… Don’t ever cry for that SH*T if he hurt you! Thanks for everything. I hope you two will be happy.”

Pagkasabi ko niyan, kinuha ko na lahat ng gamit ko at tuluyan ng umalis. Hindi ko na hinintay pa na may sasabihin pa sila sakin.

Hindi ko na kakayaning marinig at makitang ang babaeng mahal ko eh minamahal ang iba. I don’t want to see the truth… because it badly hurts.

Kung pwede lang saksakin ang puso para hindi na masaktan, ginawa ko na. But I won’t live if I’ll do that… I still have lot of things to do before I pass away.

After that hurtful incident, I quit as a member of CYAN. Nagpatransfer rin ako ng ibang school para unti-unting makalimot…

And there… I became close to my cousins, JC and Drache and I have met Seth, Les and Kats. Together we became friends… Sabi nga nila, ang tao nagbabago kapag nasasaktan… Hindi ko alam pero… I was far different from the one who I was before. Hindi ako nakikipag-away dati… more on I’m a silent man and all I want to do is play music, read books and visit my gir-err… But now, I stop playing and I became a member of a gangster group named Blackfists.

When my heart died… my love for music also died…

*EOF*

Dumiretso na ako sa condo ko after school. Then I headed to my room and once again… I opened my cabinet and get my guitar.

It’s been a long time since the last time I played this.

I open the case… at inilabas ang isang black wooden guitar…

This… this was given by her… This is her birthday gift for me.

I started strumming and for the first time after long years… I’ll play again…

 It started off grand, and ended in ruins,

Thought you were the one, you never knew what you doing, no,

You didn't know when, to stop all of your games,
And you left me here, left me without any shame,

Maybe this is the time to open my heart again…

And so the truth came out,
You couldn't promise me the love that I was,
Pouring out for you,
And when you went away,
I couldn't get you out of my mind oh I was,
broken down for you,

 I was hurt from the past… but it is not an excuse for me to stop playing.

500 days, I know it wasn't the best,
But I won't ever forget, no I won't ever forget you,
500 days, I know it wasn't the best,
But I won't ever forget, no I won't ever forget you,

Ooh

For me to be better and to love someone again…

I gotta be frank; I can't imagine me with anyone other than you,
You had me feeling like my dreams came true,
You made me feel good, like no one else existed,
Like summer was here everyday of the year,
Now it's just my wishful thinking,

And so the truth came out,

Your promised someone else the love that I was,
Pouring out for you,
And when you went away,
I couldn't get you out of my mind,
Oh I was broken down for you,

I need to bury the past… forget, forgive and start a new life…

500 days, I know it wasn't the best,
But I won't ever forget, no I won't ever forget you,
500 days, I know it wasn't the best,
But I won't ever forget, no I won't ever forget you,

Mmmm,

And there is a light, and it never goes out,
And there is a promise, and I don't mean to scream and shout,
But there is a fog, and it's blocking that light,
Gotta let you go, no use in fighting this fight,

500 days, I know it wasn't the best,
But I won't ever forget,
No I won't ever forget you..

500 days, I know it wasn't the best,
But I won't ever forget,
No I won't ever forget you..

I know what would make me happy… I know that not everyone is like them… I can trust… and I can love…again...

[A/N: Five hundred days –AJ Rafael :))]

Tumayo na ako bitbit ang gitara ko at nagpunta sa condo ni Seth… Maybe this was the best thing I can do…