Caleb

She left.

I let her go, I guess.

I did what any man would do in my situation—the right thing. But everything about this morning felt wrong, empty, and I couldn’t remember the last time I’d seen such an ugly sunrise.

My body burned for a buzz, it ached to go back to feeling a little less heavy like I had around Hal. I promised myself I’d never touch whiskey in my life, but he talked me into trouble. Good thing he did, it was worth the weight it took off my shoulders for a little while.

But waking up sprawled on the floor, trying to piece together what I did and didn’t do last night didn’t feel worth it. Not much in life did these days.

I got to my feet and tried to figure out how I’d passed out by the door with my shoes, shirt, and pants on, like I was going somewhere. There wasn’t anywhere to go—except after her and I didn’t wanna think that I’d gotten that desperate.

No part of her leaving was hazy. I remembered every damn thing she did and said to me last night. Waking up numb to her would’ve been easier on my head, but my heart missed the hell out of her this morning. I felt every single inch of where she wasn’t, and where I wanted her to be.

The sheets on her side of the bed were messy like always, and her smell lingered in the air like dust in the sunlight, but she wasn’t anywhere. That’s how things were supposed to be now. Liars leave and losers stay behind I guess, I just had to get used to it.

The rattle and groan of Georgia’s brakes in the driveway dragged my attention off Hailey and pushed me head first into a panic. I told her I’d check in when I got home last night but forgot to call.

Shit.

She’d probably showed up with that shotgun mouth of hers to shoot my ear off. I didn’t mean to disappoint her, but sometimes I wished she’d stop treating me like the skinny seventeen-year-old kid I used to be. I could handle myself alright—at least that’s what I wanted to think.

            “Hailey honey? You awake up there? Did Caleb come home?”

I screwed up. Bad. I hadn’t heard her this worried since the night she left me and Hailey in Charlottesville.

I threw off yesterday’s clothes and pulled on a pair of jeans and a wife beater so I could fool Georgia into believing that I’d changed at least once since last night. Just ‘cause she knew I went out drinking didn’t mean she needed to find out how much.

            “Hold on a minute, Georgia! I just need to—“

The slow creak of her footsteps echoed through the stairway and I nearly killed myself scrambling across the house to pick my shit up off the floor. Georgia didn’t like anything out of place, so if she walked in and saw the mess I’d made last night she’d kill me.

Hailey was the neatest person in the house. She’d tried to teach me how to clean up and make the bed a couple times but I always paid more attention to the way she moved her mouth than to what she was actually saying.

I should’ve listened to her. Now I didn’t have a chance in hell of hiding the fact that she was gone.

            “You look like hell, Caleb.”

            “Hi Georgia.”

She took one look at me standing there with my dirty laundry in one hand and a cast on the other and narrowed her eyes at me from behind her glasses. Yep, trouble.

            “Ain’t you gotta phone, boy?”

            “Yes, ma’am.”

          “Well that’s news to me ‘cause I called four or five times last night and I didn’t hear a peep outta you! I didn't even know who you were with! I waited three hours for you at that hospital and you up and ran off to a bar with some stranger.”

She didn't need to know everything I was doing and everybody I spent time with. A guy's gotta have some secrets.

            “I told you it was just a friend from work."

            "Well tell that friend that if you wanna keep living here they better get you home at a decent hour of the night."

            "I will. Sorry, Georgia.”

            “Sorry isn’t gonna cut it. Where’s Hailey?”

I threw her out.

            “She went back to her mom’s for a little while.”

Georgia shuffled across the kitchen so she could stare at me up close. As sweet as she was, she could spark hellfire in her eyes if she wanted to.

            “Did she tell you what's been going on?” She asked.

Her face hardened in the half-light. I wasn’t sure I was ready to hear whatever it was Georgia had to say. Maybe Hailey told Georgia about Sawyer before she told me. Just thinking about that was enough to turn my stomach inside out.

I trusted that girl to tell me everything first. I trusted her to never make me feel as stupid or small as I did sitting across from Georgia right then. Guess I trusted wrong.

            “She said she cheated on me if that’s what you’re asking.”

Before I could blink Georgia reached up and slapped me so hard my eyes stung. She’d never hit me like that. She’d never had a reason to.

I stood there slack-jawed trying to figure out why two of the most important women in my life were so goddamn disappointed in me. I hadn’t done anything wrong.

        “Caleb Evans, you’re either blind or stupid to say something like that.”

            “What the hell was that for, Georgia? I’m telling the truth!”

            “Your version of the truth. Not hers. Now, sit down.”

I didn’t make her ask twice. I pulled out a chair for her at the kitchen table and sat down after she did. Whatever truths she was talking about wouldn’t change what I saw. Last night was truth enough, and there are some truths that stung too much to want to remember.

           “Georgia, you don’t have to worry about what she did, okay?“

         “If you had a brain in that big head on your shoulders you’d know she’d never do that to you.”

           “She did, and I’m trying to deal with that.”

          “That girl’s in more trouble than you understand, Caleb. She’s been comin’ by the house cryin’ her eyes out after work and beggin’ me not to tell you, but I can’t sit here and watch this without saying somethin’.”

If I’d been standing, every single word outta Georgia's mouth would’ve brought me to my knees. I’d spent every day of the last year believing that the two of us were finally steady, safe, and that we’d outrun the kind of lives we’d lived five years ago.

Hailey’d smiled at me, kissed me, held me, and loved me like nothing was wrong for so long I trusted in that truth. I spent last night trying to figure out where I’d gone wrong, and this morning Georgia flipped the world upside down on me again.

              “What are you talking about?” I asked.

She reached over and rested her worn leather hands on my shoulders. Georgia never cried, but I felt the kind of quiet sadness she was hiding. It was a hell of a lot like mine.

            “A little while back she started coming by the house late. She asked me what to do about a young man pesterin' her at work. I didn’t think much of it when she first told me about him ‘cause I thought he'd leave her alone after a while. But he kept her out late more than a few times and everytime she'd come back from seeing him, she looked twice as shaken up—”

That son-of-a-bitch said Hailey’d stayed out with him ‘cause she wanted to. I shouldn't have listened to a damn thing he said.

            “—She wouldn't tell me who he was, but she was scared of him. She said she tried telling him more than once that she already had somebody but he kept pushing her anyway.”

All the spit in my mouth went dry ‘til my tongue turned to sandpaper.

         “Never in my life did I think he'd touch her. Never in my life did I think I’d see Hailey standin’ on my porch in the middle of the night cradlin’ the side of her face to hide how swollen it was. She said something about him trying to kiss her, and when she turned him down he slapped her ‘til she let him do what he wanted. I stayed up half the night with that girl icing her face and tryin’ my best to tell her she’d done nothin’ wrong. But do you know what she kept asking me, Caleb?”

I didn’t wanna know anything else. I wanted to jump in my goddamn car and drive down to Charlottesville, find her, and kiss her everywhere it hurt.

            “—She wanted to know if you’d still love her if she made a mistake. She had in her head that that man hitting her and stealing a kiss was her fault. That child thinks she hasn’t been faithful to you because of that."

I shut my eyes to stop the world from spinning. Hailey’d called me that night. She didn’t sound any different, just said that she wanted to stay over at Georgia’s like she always did whenever she needed time on her own.

We’d gotten into the habit of giving each other space every now and again just to let our relationship breathe. But she’d always come back to me better than when she left.

So how in the hell did I let her walk back into the house the morning after he'd touched her and not realize what was wrong?

She slept all day, skipped work, didn’t say much to me when I left to head out to the shop. I thought she was sick so I let her be. I shouldn’t have. If I’d known she needed me that badly I would’ve dropped everything and run to her. I would’ve done anything. Anything would’ve been better than nothing.

            “Why the hell didn’t she talk to me about it, Georgia? Last night she lied to me, told me all kinds of crazy shit, left me, but she couldn’t tell me the truth?”

            “She’s scared, Caleb.”

            “Of what?”

          “Of you. If she told you everything straight out you would’ve killed that boy for touching her.”

            “Damn right.”

            “And where would that leave you? What about her? You keep trying to play hero for that girl and you’ll end up right back where you started if not worse. You can’t involve yourself with this, Caleb.”

I stood up outta my seat. I wasn’t gonna sit for another minute listening to her tell me to stay still while my girl was in trouble.

            “You can’t ask me to do that, Georgia.”

         “I’m not asking you, I’m telling you. Leave this alone. Trust her to handle this on her own, Caleb.”

         “What if something happens to her, huh? What if I leave her by herself and Sawyer—“

            “Sawyer? Sawyer Hughes?”

            “That’s him.”

Georgia took off her glasses and rubbed her fingertips over her eyes to smooth away her stress.

            “You stay away from that boy, you hear me?”

            “Why? He can’t fight worth a damn.”

          “Listen to me, Caleb ‘cause I’m not gonna tell you this twice. Sawyer’s trouble. He’s got an ugly reputation and one too many friends in town who’ll make you go missing if you pick a fight on the wrong day. I don’t want you startin’ anythin’ with him, ‘cause it won’t just come back to you, it’ll come back to Hailey. If he’s got his eye on her, she’s safer in Charlottesville than she is in Midland.”

She was safer with me. Sawyer could have as many friends as he wanted, I wasn’t gonna let him put his hands on Hailey again. I stood up, grabbed my keys off the counter, and started towards the door hoping Georgia wouldn’t stop me. She could tell me just about anything at this point and it wouldn’t have made a difference.

            “You better come back safe, young man. You’ve got a good heart, I just don’t want you to follow it into trouble.”

 Without giving her the chance to put up a fight, I walked back over and trapped Georgia in a bear hug. Took her a while to quit struggling but she settled into letting me hold on to her.

            “Don’t worry, I love you too much not to come home,” I said.

            “Quit your flatterin’ and let go. You smell like whiskey and perfume. I thought you said Hailey left last night.”

            “She did, after we—”

            “I don’t wanna know. Just hurry up and fix things. The sooner you bring her back the sooner this loft’ll get cleaned up.”

            “Will do, Georgia. Will do.”

                                                                      ***

I parked my truck a little ways down from Mrs. Anderson’s house and spent an hour biting my nails down to the nubs waiting for her and Hailey to come home. Maria hadn’t seen me since the night Liam died. I was dead to her too.

Hailey used to cry about that a lot. She'd been hiding everything she'd been through with me from Maria long enough for it to hurt her. The guilt got to her so bad some days that she’d talk about breaking all the rules, bringing me down to Charlottesville, and telling her Ma the truth about us. I’d stopped her every time she wanted to try, but today I was on the edge of risking everything if it meant talking to her.

A shiny new sports car pulled into Maria’s driveway.  Seeing it got me so nervous my foot started tap-dancing against the gas pedal like crazy. Even in a house half-the size and a neighborhood half as fancy as the last one, the Andersons stuck out the way all rich people do—like gold plated splinters.

I was out of the truck and across the street before I could talk myself into staying put. My heart beat the hell out of my ribs as I ran, like it never knew it could need someone as crazily as it needed her.

I sprinted ‘till there was nothing but a thin stretch of sidewalk left between the two of us, and I couldn’t cross it fast enough.

I stopped ten steps short of her front yard—ten steps short of fixing things.

Ten steps short of realizing I couldn’t, ‘cause Sawyer was standing on the porch in the mid-day sun with his arm around Hailey, who was ten steps short of forgiveness.