"It happens to everyone as they grow up. You find out who you are and what you want, and then you realize that people you've known forever don't see things the way you do. So you keep the wonderful memories, but find yourself moving on."

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘
𝑪𝒉𝒓𝒊𝒔

"—Nothing? I see. Thank you." I speak on the phone.

"I'm sorry." The woman speaks on the phone.

I don't know who she is, just a random phone number I was given by people after trying to track down Cleo.

After the last blow up between Morgan and I about Sabrina's sister, I know I shouldn't care but I do. Mostly because I don't want to get the news one day that's she's dead somewhere.
I can't help her if she doesn't want to be helped, but I want to make sure that she's alright. Last I saw, she was using again. I left her in the care of her mother and it was revealed to me that Cleo had been making those phone calls to Morgan and I, in cahoots with her sister.

"Knock-knock." I hear Morgan's soft voice.

I wave her in after covering my blueprints with other boring documents she won't care to peep at.

Morgan plants herself on my lap and rakes her fingers through my hair.

"I love you." She says sweetly.

"Where'd that come from?"

She smiles small. "You looked stressed. I just wanted to say it."

"I love you, too." I reply, wrapping my arms around her body.

"How's the studying going?" I wonder about her latest business venture.

Morgan pops her shoulders. "I think I'll be the best real estate agent ever."

I laugh at her confidence but it's cute and admirable. That's just her personality.

"That's my girl." I say, pounding our fists.

"What time is it?" I ask, taking the phone from Morgan's lap.

I look past a picture of us set as her lockscreen and read that it is almost five in the afternoon.

I yawn and tap Morgan's ass so she can let me up.

"Basketball?" She asks me if that's where I'm going.

I nod my head and lead her out of my home office.

In the bedroom, I change into a pair of shorts and put on a pair of my Nike basketball shoes.

"Are you going to have time for them anymore, with work and all?" She asks me, handing me the black bookbag I was just about to look for. 

She's got a point. I haven't been there for the team because work was taking over my life. Since the boys went back to school, it's been harder to coordinate schedules. Since Jabari gets off of work earlier than me, I've handed the program to him.

It wasn't my intention to give up on the boys but it got to be too much, the fighting, the fundraising, the drama between the parents. I can't take it. I love the sport and want to help the youth, but much like Morgan, I have other things going on that I have to dedicate my time to.

Time. Why can't we have more of it?

I thought I was ready to return to work on Monday but it's Sunday now and I don't know how to feel about it.
It's just random that they want me back. It's been a month basically. That must've been some investigation on Beck. Clearly they found him guilty and realized he's a fucking liability, so I'm thankful he's gone, but it just feels like I didn't get my job back solely on those grounds. I know, I know, I shouldn't question it - just be grateful. I am. While I'm still in Port Ember, it's easiest to remain at this firm where I know what to do and expect. Plus, I secretly miss Phil and Frank.

"Chris?" Morgan's voice snaps me out of my thoughts.

"Huh?" I return my attention to my fiancé.

She smacks her plump, glossy lips. "Our wedding? We are engaged, do you even want to help me plan this or am I supposed to do it alone?"

"Well, yeah." I earn a pillow at the head.

Laughing, I put my arms up in innocence. "Stop, stop, I'm kidding. Of course I'll help. Whatcha got?"

Morgan perks up and pats the bed for me to take a seat and listen.

She starts with what she thinks should be a small, intimate wedding but as she samples the guest list, it quickly goes from a small ceremony to a large one.
Next, she mentions she doesn't want to spend an arm and a leg on a dress she'll only wear once and then leave hung up in the back of the closet forever. We're in agreement there.
I zone out until the honeymoon is brought up.

Rubbing my hands together, I propose, "I was thinking Bali! Or Jamaica. Even Hawaii-"

"No, Chris." Morgan interjects. "I was thinking more like Italy, South Africa, or Dubai!"

My face curls up. "I'm not going to Dubai. I heard they don't even allow PDA, you wouldn't last."

"You wouldn't last." Morgan retorts, pushing my body over.

"They have super cars, babe, you'd love it. The food is great, the weather is beautiful; one of my friends from Instagram just got back, she said it was, like, a hundred degrees at midnight-"

"One of your friends from Instagram? We know what she went there to do." I joke but not really.

Morgan sucks her teeth at me bagging on the Instagram model being shit on for a free flight and stay. She says it's not true and doesn't like that that's what I assume about "models" who get paid by their Instagram posts because that's probably what people think of her — despite our relationship being such a huge part of her online identity. I definitely appreciate all the followers I've gained and the publicity. The side income and free stuff is a plus, too, like the sponsors - Manscaped, etc.

"We can have dinner in the sky, ride camels, do a sunset cruise to a small island. Have you seen these hotels, it's literally paradise? Okay. I think I'm sold, I wanna go to Dubai." Morgan, enthralled by the idea, bounces on the bed.

I blink my eyes, not sure yet. "Uh, I don't know, but we'll think about it. Let's just plan the wedding first."

"This is very much a part of the wedding."

I throw my head back and groan. "Okay, Morgan, I do not care what we do. We can get married in a Wendy's bathroom, for all I care. Just, do what you want."

Her face falls and I know I'm in trouble.

"You don't care about the wedding?" Her voice saddens.

I close my eyes and curse under my breath. "That's not what I meant. I'm just saying-"

Morgan gets off of the bed and goes into the bathroom. She's probably crying. No. I know she's crying.

Morgan is emotional, passionate, generally sensitive, but she isn't this damn soft.

"Annie," I knock on the door and speak to it. "I'm sorry. I care about the wedding, okay?"

"Just go to basketball practice, I'll figure it out."

"Is this a test? Like, if I go, I'll get in trouble? 'Cause I'm late, so..."

"Bye, Chris." Morgan fumes.

"Okay," I talk unsure as I backtrack. "I'm leaving... I love you."

I pause at the bedroom door to see if she'll say it back. She always does, even when she's mad, but I have to hear it.

"Morgan..." I croak. "Did you hear me? I said I love-"

"I love you, too, Chris. Bye."

~~~

"Buckets!" I boast in Jabari's face when I hit the game-winning three-pointer.

"Luck." He claims, walking off the court.

Lee and I dap hands then walk over the the bleachers to sit with JB.

"I'm out," Rob tells us, checking his (trap) phone. "Aye, Chris, congrats again on getting engaged. I'll see y'all later."

All the kids have cleared out so we stayed around to play a quick two on two.

I slap Rob's hands before Lee or Jabari do, then he leaves.

"Man," Jabari sighs. "I still can't believe you getting married."

I shake my head, not able to believe it yet either.

"I'm so stoked for you." Lee says, pushing my head in. "Seriously, Morgan's the best."

"I know." I brag humbly.

"You don't think shit gon' change?" Jabari asks me.

I turn my face up. "Only her last name."

"Exactly," Lee agrees with me. "Stop trying to scare him, J."

Jabari throws his hands up. "I'm just saying. She might let herself go."

"Morgan's nothing like Jasmine. If she was going to let herself go, she would've done it by now."

"And you'd love her anyway." Lee assures me.

"That's right." I nod my head, taking a drink of water from my gallon bottle.

"So, what are you going to do? Stay in New York?" Asks Lee.

"Why is everyone asking so many questions? Can't we just... chill?" I project onto them.

It's just that I'm tired of being asked these big questions. I proposed, the next step is a wedding. Eventually. I don't want to deal with anything else right now. First work, then this wedding.

Jabari laughs, seeing Lee's taken aback porcelain face.

"It's getting late." Lee sighs, pushing off of his knees to stand like an old man. "You don't want to keep a seven-months-pregnant lady waiting."

I nod stiffly, understanding.

Lee slides his palm against mine, and then does the same to Jabari. We follow him out of the gym once Jabari has his shit together.

I exit the gym, swinging my lanyard in my hand.

"Can't believe it's fucking December already." J vents, slowly pacing towards his truck.

"I know." I sigh. "Time has flown by."

"It seem like you keep leveling up, and I'm stuck. I mean, what's next for me?"

"Whatever you want."

He shakes his head, looking up at the stars. "What's this I hear about you wanting to move, man? I don't like it. We supposed to be boys, why you ain't tell me?"

"I don't know what Morgan told Jasmine, but I'm not planning on moving anytime soon. Now stop crying, you are not my fiancé."

Jabari laughs, dropping the attitude. "Man, I just can't lose you. You've helped me - my relationship. You leave, I don't know what ima do."

"Maybe that's a good thing." I say, kicking a rock far down the sidewalk.

Jabari stops walking to face me. "What that mean?"

I let out a sigh and can see my breath in the cold air of the night. "I mean what I said: maybe it'll be a good thing. All of us could use a fresh start."

"Why we can't start over together, man?"

"Morgan wants to move, and I'm thinking that maybe we should go somewhere else... alone."

Jabari puffs his chest. "I'm not saying I need you, but yeah I am."

"My future wife needs me. She doesn't want to live here and I'm not gonna force her. J, don't make this any harder than it needs to be. Like I said, I'm not moving any time soon."

He keeps his mouth tight. "You gon' at least let me throw you a bachelor party?"

"Who else?" I get him to laugh.

Jabari eases up and initiates our handshake.

Once done, I find my Tesla and walk towards it.

"Aye," Jabari shouts after me from his truck. "I love you, bro."

I dart my eyes around and chuckle. "Why is your big ass getting soft? I love you too, man. Damn."

He cracks up with laughter and then salutes me before getting in his truck.

That conversation kind of made it easier to say goodbye. No, I'm not leaving tomorrow or even in a week, but when I do, it won't be as hard. I've done what I had to do in Port Ember, and with my friends.
I've set Jabari up with a basketball team I'm sure he can lead to greatness. Jasmine's forgiven him and let her guard down. And Lee, he's told me since our little spell in Samoa, that he confronted Izzy and they worked through all of their issues.

I've been avoiding the conversation with Morgan about moving because she doesn't know what I have in mind for us, but reality is settling in. Time doesn't slow down just because I need it to. We're leveling up, like Jabari said, and a part of that is outgrowing this townhouse and the need to constantly be with our friends from back home. I'm not opposed to them following us, but it will be nice to have some independence in another state and build from there.

I'm engaged, and after that comes— well, whenever we decide— children. Holy shit. This is getting real.

Since I met Morgan, I've had this all mapped out. She said it, I was always the planner, but lately, I've been taking it day by day. We're not in a rush, and I don't have all the answers anymore. Whatever happens, as long as we're together, is what's meant to be. I find a lot of relief in that.

The exhibit of lights carry on from the center of the city and lead to the outskirts of town. It's a very impressively cohesive display of Christmas decorations, if I'm being honest.

That's the thing about this holiday season, even if you don't celebrate or don't have anything to necessarily look forward to, you can't deny the joy it brings. From Christmas carols to hot chocolate, ice skating, and holiday family movies, you just feel all fuzzy inside. Except the music. I can't stand prematurely playing Christmas songs.

I park my model Y Tesla on the street and freeze until I get inside and am met with the warmth radiating from the fireplace. Oh, thank God, Morgan's turned it on.

She's in the living room with her blue-light glasses on, watching that John Bourgeios guy show a house. He especially gets on my nerves because he shows all things Nashville, Tennessee, so Morgan's been his biggest fan ever since she's discovered that she wants to eventually live there.

"Hey, baby." I greet her from the foyer.

I kick my shoes off, step out of my sweatpants, and hang up my jacket.

"Hey." Morgan says. "There's tacos upstairs."

"I'm not hungry." I insist, just to spend some time with her down here.

She sits still on the couch in one of my t-shirts and a pair of pink fluffy socks.

"What's this?" I ask, taking the notepad from her lap.

"Wedding stuff, you wouldn't be interested." She remarks trying to take it from my hands but I snatch it back and review her notes.

She removes the glasses and rubs an eye with the back of her hand. "Nothing is set in stone, yet, obviously, but those are some ideas. Don't worry, I'm not gonna bore you with details."

"You wouldn't bore me. I'm sorry I said I don't care, I just meant that I'll like whatever you like."

"But that's not true, Chris. I want you to have a say in this, it's our wedding."

I understand and don't argue against her points.

While she is better off doing this on her own or with a professional planner, I should give my opinion before this whole wedding is pink Princess themed and I'm forced to say "I do" in some historical castle in a random country Morgan picks because she's seen it on TikTok before, knowing her. She isn't an over-the-top boujee, extravagant Bridezilla, but I know she wants the big day to be special, unique to us, and "eternally memorable." That, I'm fine with.

"I love you." I say in Morgan's ear.

Still receiving the cold shoulder, I start to scratch Morgan's face with the stubble on my chin and cheeks.

"Stop, stop," she squeals, rolling over the couch. "I love you, too!"

I let her sit up and stop torturing her, settling for a kiss on the side of her face.

"You're cute." She blushes, holding the covers up for me to join.

I make myself comfortable before pulling Morgan close to my body, between my legs. She lies under me and warms back up under the blanket.

Duke and Stevie are quiet. Too quiet. Normally, they would've been by our feet, knocked out by now.

"Where are the dogs?" I ask Morgan before I hear panting noises that make me turn around.

"Ew." Is all I can say.

"What is it?" Morgan asks me and then shifts to witness it herself.

Duke's humping Stevie. I'm blaming Morgan, she didn't put the dog diaper on her.

"Oh, God." Morgan reacts, disturbed.

"Well," I say, turning back to the tv, "you're gonna be a grandma."