"Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future."

  ⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘
𝑪𝒉𝒓𝒊𝒔 

Ho-ly shit, I'm engaged, I keep saying in my head over and over. The jewelry box I bought over six months ago is now empty, the ring fitting perfectly onto Morgan's finger.

I can't believe I did it. I splash the cold water on my face again to make sure this isn't a dream. I've had a few of those about this very moment and ones just like it, picturing what our future will be like. If I had to guess: adventurous, never a dull moment, fulfilling.

And I just did it, too! Like, I thought about it six months (plus) ago when I bought the ring so I knew it was coming any day now but I literally just... asked her.
That motherfucking ring cost seven-thousand dollars, too. Shit. Ann's worth it, though. I knew that was the kind she likes, so it was a no brainer when Jas and I went to the jeweler. That trip was hellish on it's own, Jasmine and I are a duo that do not need anymore lone excursions. I didn't need her there with me, I just thought it would be sweet to invite the best friend, especially since I couldn't bring myself to tell Kelsey or my mother, yet. I just feel like they'll spazz, say I'm rushing into things. Well, my mother won't. My worry with her is that she'll hop on the next plane and plan every single step of the wedding. She'll be the bridezilla, not Morgan.

Kelsey and Owen will have mixed feelings, I think. My dad will ask me a million times if I'm sure before I get mad and have to yell that I am, then he'll finally say he's happy for us. Mom will cry and tell Morgan how she's already considered her a daughter. Hey, they can feel however they want to as long as one of these couples, or both, wants to pay for the wedding.

Part of me wishes I could've done the traditional gentlemanly thing and asked Owen for his blessing.
I would've gotten dressed nicely to take him and Kelsey a nice bottle of wine at their home, sat down and spit it right out, telling them how I can't live without their daughter; tell how badly it physically and emotionally cripples me to imagine a world without her in it. I'd look Owen right in the eyes and let him know that she's already everything to me, and that I'm only doing this out of courtesy but respectfully, I'd marry her without his say-so, all I want is his handshake of acknowledgment. And to know if he'll pay for the wedding.

8:41am

Morgan finds me exactly where I wanted her to - on the balcony, watching the waves crash around me.

"Good morning." She beams brightly, wrapping her arms around my torso.

There's a certain glow about her that makes me do a double take.

Morgan scrunches her nose with my lips pressed against her forehead.

"You... are... beautiful." The words come out on their own, I was practically stuck with my jaw on the floor, eyes not even blinking because I don't want to miss out on her beauty for a single second.

My fiancé smiles warmly, looking up at me with nearly closed eyes from smiling so big.

She extends her left arm and holds out her hand, the ring glimmering under the morning sunlight. She wears it well, and with pride.

I almost break our bodies apart so I can go get my phone to take a picture and capture this moment but it's better to just take it in. I'll never forget her here, like this.

"So," Morgan squeaks, patting my chest twice. "what do you have planned for today?"

~

"Russ," I groan into the phone for the fifth time since we've been out. "I don't work for them anymore, I don't know what to tell you. I— yes, I know about the contract. It's not my fault, ask your boy! No. No. All I'm saying is— hello?" He hangs up on me.

"Fuck." I bark, wanting to hit something.

I wasn't thinking about my client(s) when I did what I did. It was selfish, sure, but nothing would've changed the fact that he had that coming. Whether I beat his ass at work, a bar, or in some parking lot, I would still be out of a job.

My outburst causes the group to look back at me in the flea market and I clear my throat, ready to apologize but Morgan just makes me drop my phone into her canvas [tote] bag.

We've spent the past few hours getting a tour by one of the locals. It's nice, I guess, just super boring. Originally I planned for Morgan and I to do some cliff-diving and sightseeing but since she broke the engagement news to the girls over breakfast they haven't let her out of their sight. At least Jasmine isn't pissed, she thanked me for not popping the question right after JB did, and told me this was "about time."
Anyway, since Jasmine doesn't want to get her hair wet, Jabari can't swim, and Izzy's pregnant, all of the fun has been sucked out of the trip so we've settled for the museum, a hike, and this fucking tour.
It's not all bad, though, the weather is to die for and the people are nice. Plus, Morgan is taking in all of the information the tour guide is giving from history of the land to ancient artifacts and the health care tips of the Samoan people. I don't think she really cared at first but she saw how quiet the driver was and wanted to interact with them and be nice.

Lee pulls behind, seeing me drag after the group.

He slaps my back one hard time and laughs briefly. "What's up, guy?"

I don't say anything, just shrug and shake my head.

I watch Morgan point to things she gets excited by throughout the flea market. She's grabbed at least twenty souvenirs by now, all things she swears our parents, Kailyn, and Jack will love.

"Look, babe," she exclaims, looking back at me with wondrous eyes. "your mom would love this!" She says about this artificial cultural princess crown. See.

I put on an enthused look and nod my head in approval, letting her add one more item to take back home.

"You two are so good. I guess this means I'm next, huh?" Lee teases me with a nudge.

"Aheh," I laugh, rolling the balls of my palms together. "no pressure or anything."

Lee chuckles, strolling along by my side past the other tourists. "I guess that's fair, I knocked Izzy up first and the girls got baby fever. Hey, can I ask you something?"

"If you have to." I give him a hard time.

Lee hangs his head, finding me amusing.

Noticing his sudden hesitation, I elbow his side and ask what's up.

He swallows hard. "How do you know she's the one? You and Morgan have only been together for a year and some change, why are you sure?"

I clench my jaw, just thinking up an answer, not that my reasons are lost on me.

"Don't get me wrong, you two have been through a lot in that year. I guess— I guess that's what I wonder about. Settling down is hard enough — scary— but to make a commitment that lasts forever after you've done so much? Gone through so much? I just feel like me and Izzy hit our stride, this was just supposed to be fun but it got real, real fast with the baby. I didn't want to settle but I feel like I have to now. How can I, though, I've done so much shit to her? How can I ask her to marry me despite everything?"

It isn't lost on me, the parallels between our relationships, though mine is significantly more realized and intentional.

It's been a hard year, there's no denying that. I've done things I regret, although, I was never a man to have many of those. Morgan has done things that she says she's still making up for, but all is forgiven.
What started from pure lust and spontaneity has bloomed into this love that is deeper than a verb or dictionary textbook to describe our feelings.
This thing Morgan and I have is fucking spiritual. It's unreal, unlike anything I've ever felt.

To answer Lee's question, I say, "I just knew."

"Lee," I add, "if you know, then you know. There's no wrong move you can make if you're following what you feel. You'll have to make sacrifices, and sometimes you might think shit is moving fast or that it's unexplainable, and it is. Isabella's the one for you, but only you really know that. So is she?"

He nods his head and says, "No one else would put up with all my bullshit." I laugh at him.

"Then if you feel like the next steps are marriage and moving in together, do it. Listen, as a man that's what we're supposed to do: provide and keep them happy. I know Morgan's the one because it's not just a primal instinct, I actually want to build with her and provide for her— for us— I don't feel rushed o-or threatened. That's what's fun to me: being with her and leveling up, securing our spot in the future, y'know? Like, I didn't question it once I was sure - starting a family, finding a home. It's nothing I don't want to be doing."

Lee looks entirely spaced out. This talk about the future and commitment seems to be foreign to him. This isn't shocking, though, I've always known he lacked any depth to take anything seriously. I don't want to be burdened with knowing that he no longer wants to be with the woman who will be having his baby in three months.
I thought this trip would be good for all of us, but it's scared him. The last thing I want is for Lee to feel trapped and resent me like Jabari did.

"I'm not here to change your mind. You feel how you feel. Don't hurt Izzy, though, because you're immature and insecure. She's dealt with you this far, now she's about to have your kid, you think she could just walk away from this now?"

"A baby can't fix everything." He grumbles, getting in my face in the middle of the aisle.

"No," I clench my jaw. "but it could help. Teach you some responsibility maybe."

His eyes dart between mine as I try to read his but they're racing.
"You think you have it all," he tests me. "then why don't you have a kid and tell me reality won't hit you like a brick. Morgan's already told Izzy she can't bring herself to forgive you for everything, yet you're preaching like you have shit all figured out."

"Hey— woah," Morgan appears by my side. I hope she didn't hear any of that.

She draws the attention of our other friends and they crowd us to ask what's going on.

"Lee?" Izzy falters, grabbing Lee's pale arm.

He blinks first, losing this battle, and I laugh in his face.

"Um, okay..." Morgan drawls, pulling me away. "let's just bring it down, guys. Chris, come on, let's go pay for this stuff."

~~~

I'm mad. Not at Lee for what he said, mostly for getting in my face, thinking he knows what the fuck he's talking about. Fuck does he mean Morgan doesn't forgive me? And why would she tell Izzy that? It can't be true. I know it's not.

Morgan's been in the tub for the past hour while I've been enduring my mother's wrath over the phone. She called and finally got through to me. I dropped the engagement news on her and she flipped. No, not because she's being unsupportive, she just wishes she could've seen it in person. She and Dad congratulated us and ask that we come to Colorado to visit soon or they'll threaten to come back to Port Ember.
I'm leaving it up to Morgan to fill her own parents in, but being that they're not that close, they may find out with the rest of her followers on social media whenever we get back home.

"Chris," Morgan's alluring voice rings through the villa, "baby, I have something for you."

The sound of her heels clicking on the hardwood makes me turn my neck to give her attention.

She stops before me on the couch and flaunts her figure in a sexy maid costume.

Morgan stabs her stiletto heel in the cushion between my legs.

She drops a pair of handcuffs in my lap and smiles wickedly. "You like? I figured it's been a year and we'll be married soon, I don't want the spark dying down. So, we get to role play! I'm the sexy French maid, and you are my handsome, rich boss."

"Morgan-" I try to speak but she cuts me off with a slap across my cheek and pushes her weight into my lap.

She giggles against my lips and then kisses them. "Puis-je vous donner le sexe oral?" Her French is impressive. This whole thing is intriguing, I'm just far too distracted to be worried about sex right now.

"What, what's wrong?" She stops trying to undress me to ask, seeing my lack of interest.

I shut my eyes and gather my thoughts. My prolonged silence makes her start to worry.

"You don't like it? I brought a schoolgirl uniform, too-"

"I don't want to have sex right now, Morgan. Damn." My words make her roll off of my lap and stare at me with a frowned up face.

"Why not?" She asks then gasps. "Oh my God, baby, is it ED?"

I take a second to think of what ED means then it hits me - erectile dysfunction. "What? Morgan, no. I just don't want to have sex."

She still looks confused, rolling her neck at me. "Well, you're not cheating on me, so... I don't get it. You're telling me no? I don't even know what that means. No? Smo? Doe?" Her sarcasm amuses me but I don't let it show, standing to pace with my hands on my hips.

"Lee said that you told Izzy you don't forgive me. Is that true?" I come right out with it.

Morgan hangs her head before sighing and looking up at me with guilt-filled eyes. "Yes. I did tell her that, but it was a while ago."

I flail my arms at her admittance. Wow.

"Then why the fuck did you say you'll marry me?"

Morgan puts her hands up. "Because it doesn't matter. Really, it doesn't. I— I was having doubts about us, not thinking we could bounce back from all of the Sabrina stuff when you finally told me the truth about what happened between you two. I shouldn't have told her that, and I should have told you that it was still affecting me, but I swear I'm over it now."

"If I could take it back, I would, but I can't change what happened," I tell Morgan.

She scoots on the edge of the sofa and nods her head. "I know."

I take a seat, too, beside her and rub her knee. "It's not fair to ask you to sweep it under the rug, either. I don't want you to say you'll marry me and then still resent me for this later on."

She puts her head on my shoulder and repeats, "I know."

Morgan squeezes my jaw and rotates my head to face her. The sincerity in her blue-green eyes is enough to reassure me. My grief is dropped for now.

"I love you," she coos, looking deeply into my eyes. "I know that you mean well. You'd never hurt me, and I trust you. I wholeheartedly want everything from the past to be exactly that: in the past. I have to heal on my own, but I'm not holding anything against you. I promise. And I'm sorry."

I push my forehead into hers and smile broad. "I love you so much." The happiness that radiates from Morgan leads me to pull her onto my lap.

I squeeze her ass in my hands and relish in this lingerie she has on. Finally, I get a good look and my mind changes about this roleplaying thing. Just another reason to love her, she keeps things interesting.

I reach for the handcuffs but Morgan grabs them first.

She smirks, standing. "No, no, no, monsieur, you don't have to lift a finger." Morgan puts the cuffs around my wrist and slips the key between her breasts.

An eyebrow pops with intrigue.

Oh, this is sexy. She is sexy.

When I go in to taste her lips, Morgan stops me. "Take me to the bed," she speaks so eloquently in a French accent that awakens something in me. "so you can have me any way you want..."

My throat's dry, I'm speechless. Actions speak louder than words, anyway, so I lead the way to the bedroom and Morgan uncuffs me before taking them with her on the bed.

"Es-tu prêt [are you ready]?" I surprise her with my French. Just a little something I retained from college.

Her lustrous smile reads as a yes. Morgan flips over onto her knees with her ass raised in the air with excited giggles.

Grinning proudly in character, I shut and lock the door and then stalk towards the bed.

~~~

"Ugh, I can't believe it's been a week already!" Izzy complains.

"Five days, actually." Morgan remarks, side-eyeing Jabari.

"Aye, it ain't my fault some of us gotta work." He snarks back and then covers his mouth at me.

"Ha-ha." My sarcastic laugh comes with a middle finger.

"Sorry, bro," J chuckles, rubbing my shoulders.

I shake him off and grab the luggage from Morgan's hands. She only has one suitcase while I have a large backpack, I can handle it. This is actually the lightest she's ever packed but that's not saying much, there's only bikinis and souvenirs in here.

"Thank you, baby." Morgan pecks my lips and walks around my body.

"Do we have time to eat before our flight," Jasmine wonders aloud. "I'm starving?"

~

I stand next in line at a vending machine to pay for a Ginger-ale that Morgan asked for. She's not feeling well and it shows - she doesn't look so good. Could just be the heat getting to her and/or the fact we haven't had anything to eat, yet.

Once I turn, after getting the soda, I'm faced with Lee's light-toned face.

"What I said was out of pocket. I was just projecting, bro. In all honesty, I'm happy for you and Morgan. You're like family to me, bro. I'm sorry." He apologizes.

As a Virgo, I do like to be right - so Morgan says. It's true, I love it. I knew Lee was just displacing his anger on me. If this was JB, I wouldn't forgive him so easy only because we're so close. That probably sounds backwards but the way I see it is I expect more from Jabari as my best friend/brother. Lee, I know he's a douchebag with two functioning brain cells so I won't hold it against him. Basically, he's one dimensional and nothing he says really holds weight.

"You're good, man." I tell him with a handshake.

"Ah, you have no idea how good it feels to hear you say that!" He shouts, giving me a hug.

"Aw, happy you made up, now let's go." Morgan says. Her upset stomach is making her have an impatient attitude. This nineteen hour flight will give her enough time to medicate and get some rest.

"What's her problem?" Lee asks me in a whisper, lugging his backpack over his shoulder as we follow the group to the terminal.

Morgan hears Lee, though, and says, "I never thought I'd say this, but I'm ready to get back to the city."

"Same." Jasmine, Jabari, and Lee all agree.

I never thought I'd say it, but me too.