"That's how envy can spoil safety. Envy makes us resent people who have something we don't have."

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𝑴𝒐𝒓𝒈𝒂𝒏

"You get no respect in here! You see our moves and all our cheers. We know you think you are the best; but we gonna put you to the test!" The varsity cheer team claps back at the opposing squad.

When I unexpectedly stopped by The Vaughn's home and Carter asked me to come with him, I thought he meant for a ride to talk, not to a basketball game. I'm not complaining, though, it's kind of nostalgic.

The sea of people around me are all in blue and white to support their home team. On the other side of the gym, are people rooting for the visitors. This is a huge turn out for a high school sport, I think. If it weren't for Carter bringing me with him before the game started, I doubt I'd have a seat.

I toss some popcorn into my mouth and glance around at all the posters decorating the walls of the gym. Most of them are championship-winners, student-athletes who broke school or state records. Of course, I notice Chris's name on each banner for every sport he played from his freshman year to senior year. Basketball, obviously, he's in the 1,000+ points club, football state champ four years in a row as varsity team captain for three of them, and he played lacrosse junior and senior year after quitting outdoor track because it wasn't "competitive enough."

His face is plastered all around the school, name and records, too. He apparently contributed a lot to North Valley High School, left his mark so every class after has him to look up to. Mary and Carter have donated quite a bit to the athletic programs and have served on the PTA since he was in elementary school. I love how involved they all are.
Chris is, like, this school's Troy Bolton. I know how great he is— at, well, everything— but it's crazy to see for myself. These are his old stomping grounds, I'm even starstruck that I'm taking this all in. Like, he used to wander these halls, sit on the bleachers, and terrorize other teams on this very court.

I wonder what he was like back then. He always tells me he was a bad kid, attention-seeking due to Carter being in-and-out of his life. I'm sure he picked up his fair share of girls just because he could. Most of them probably cheered his name while sitting in the same spot as I am now.

It's just funny because I was your typical all-American blonde at my high school. Cheer captain, busty chest, super bubbly. Everyone loved me or loved to hate me, even my teachers. I was super close to the ones I liked. I made friends with everyone from the theatre and art kids to the football players, and even the horse girls.
I'm just wondering what it would've been like if Chris and I went to high school together. We'd be like Barbie and Ken, homecoming/prom king and queen. I'd cheer for him at every game and wear his jerseys to school on game days.

The mention of his name causes me to wipe the smile off of my face and see who's uttering it.

"—Chris Vaughn?! I remember him, oh my gosh!" One girl gasps. What are the odds.

It's a trio of ladies, they look like they're supposed to be my age but their genetics aren't favorable.
Judging by the clothes they're wearing, trying hard to look "hot" and on trend, I say they're in their mid to late twenties which makes sense as to why they remember Chris.

"He was so hot!" The blonde comments.

"He still is! I follow him on Instagram."

"Let me see. He unfollowed everyone when he got in a relationship."

"You think she made him do that? I hate girls like that, so insecure."

I laugh to myself and roll my eyes. They have no idea what they're talking about and it's sad.

Chris did unfollow everyone except for myself and his family and close friends (me, Mary, Carter, Dale, Crystal, AJ, Jack, Kailyn, JB, has, Izzy, and Lee) and a few clients and co-workers that he can actually tolerate. And no, I didn't ask him to. Why would I, he can follow who he wants, I know he's not interested in any of those girls?

"Probably, did you see their sex tape? What a whore."

"I follow her on TikTok, she's not that bad. You know she's had a lot of work done, though."

"Oh, for sure, no way her tits are real. And how is she that skinny with an ass like that, too?"

"Facetune, I bet."

"She's super pretty, just wish she'd let him go." The girls giggle together.

I pull on Chris's NVHS varsity letterman jacket from and purposefully stand in front of the Three shit-talking Musketeers to obstruct their view.

"Excuse me." The blonde one says, she's the boldest. The one who was questioning my natural looks. I take it she was thirsty for Chris in high school and either never got a shot with him or she did and she still can't let it go.

"Oh, I'm sorry." I turn to face them and relish in the way their faces all crack at the sight of me in the flesh.

"I follow you on TikTok!" The brunette blurts out.

I smile down at her and say, "And I appreciate all of my fans." I gear that towards her friends, too.

The blonde pushes her damaged hair over her shoulder.
"What are you doing here— is Chris here, too?" She asks, all too eagerly.

I laugh in her face. "If you want to see him so bad, go watch our tape again. Thanks for over a million views on it, by the way, I just love making money off of haters like you."

"Just so you know," she says with the roll of her neck. "I had him first."

I take a long inhale and then exhale it and smile at her.

I'm usually a girl's girl, but this bitch needs to be checked. It's one thing to talk shit about me, but now she's trying to be disrespectful. So I don't mind being a bitch just this once.

"Yeah, let me guess: in the dugout, or the auditorium after school, or no, was it in a storage closet? I'm glad those few minutes lasted you a lifetime but get over it, he's with me; you might've been one of the first, but I'm last. Don't think you have one-up on me because he stuck his dick in you when he was fifteen and didn't even know what he was doing. Now that I think about it; he might've told me about you specifically. Kelly, right?"

"Yeah. He mentioned me?!" She can't help but grin foolishly.

"Yep, Kelly. He said you had this odor that haunted him for the rest of the school year, that's why they started calling you... what was it again?." As I talk, her self-satisfied smirk goes away as it should.

"Fish-taco!" Her friend jogs my memory.

"Smelly Kelly!" The other girl offers another nickname the guys of the high school used to call her.

"Enjoy the rest of the game, fishy!" I wish her as I walk away.

"—Thank you. Keep the change." I say to one of the player's mom who's manning the concession stand.

I take my beef hot dog and fries tray over to the condiments table and help myself to some ketchup and mustard.

"Morgan?" A voice squeaks.

"Tawny?!" The realization hits me like a truck.

I kick myself for calling her by her escort name.

"You can call me Madison. Err, Madi, whatever." She bubbles, giving me a hug.

"Wow, look at you, you look so much better!" I compliment her genuinely.

The last time I saw Madi, she was getting there but now she looks good - healthy.

"And you look beautiful as always." She giggles, letting my body go.

We reach for the vinegar at the same time and crack up. I let her go first and ask how she's been.

"Good, yeah, I've been good. You?" She doesn't sound a hundred percent but I don't pry.

"Good! It's really nice seeing you."

"Same! Are you and Chris in town long?"

"Uh, it's just me actually." My voice trails off.

"Oh, let me guess: work?"

"Yeah, you know him: always working."

"Ah," she understands. "Well, I wanted him to be the first to know that AJ and I are dating now."

"Wow." My jaw drops. "Like, AJ-AJ? Adriel? Jones?" I can't wrap my head around it.

She laughs out loud and playfully nudges me for acting so dumb and confused. "Yes, that AJ! Is it so hard to believe? I had a thing for him in high school but I never told him 'cause I hooked up with Chris first and I didn't want to look like a-"

"A slut?" I guess, biting into my hot dog.

"Um," she clears her throat. "yeah, that..." I nod my head.

"This is awkward, right? God, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have brought up Chris-"

I put my hand up. "It's perfectly fine, Madi, trust me. I'm gonna get back before my seat's taken but I'll probably see you around."

Dale kindly holds the door for me and pretends to snatch one of my fries from my basket, earning an elbow to the chest.

He laughs, walking alongside me into the gymnasium.

"So, what do you think of the game so far?" He asks me, tossing an water bottle up and down.

"I didn't know Carter was the coach, this is pretty cool."

"Don't give him all the credit, I'm the co-coach. You know white men can't jump." He makes me laugh.

"Well, except for Chris. That boy is, whew," He says, shaking his head. "Best this school has seen since I graduated."

I look up at Dale and smile. "Tell me about it," I sigh.

The buzzer sounds and suddenly, the game is live again.

I scurry back up my seat near those trifling three girls.
They're all staring at me, gossiping still, and I just let them.

As soon as I sit, my phone goes 'DING' in my purse with a text message.

I put my food down to retrieve my iPhone and see that it's Chris replying to me. Finally.

I show the girls my screen:

I don't have to show them, I do it because I want to. The devastated pouts on their faces make me smile triumphantly.
I'm usually not one to brag either but Chris is something to brag about. Plus, his message gives me hope.

~~~

My palms get sweaty. I tense up. I am physically uncomfortable at the sight of the gates alone.

It's too early in the morning for me to have an anxiety attack right now.

I should just turn around, I think.

The gates open up and I gasp.

Poor owners are probably watching me on their surveillance cams and thinking I'm a crazy lady.

I drive forward and recognize the pavement where I watched Kyle get beaten to a pulp.

I shudder at the memory. It's still so vivid.

As serene as it is up in these mountains, there's nothing tranquil about anything that took place inside of those walls except for all of the good times I shared with Chris. Otherwise, I remember trying to escape them over and over.

I recall a gun being pointed at both my head and Malcolm's.

Most of all, I remember the drugs, being tied to the bed, "falling" down the stairs, and having to be forcefully spoon-fed some days when I refused to eat.

I tear my vision away from the view of Penshaw down below and walk over to greet him with a handshake.

"Hi." Is all I can spit out at first.

"Hi," His tune changes after getting a good look at me.  "Are you lost? I can help you."

I notice the ring on his finger. He's married, thank God. There's also a slew of children's toys in the yard that put me at ease. This guy might not be a sadistic millionaire asshole, too.

"I'm not lost. I know exactly where I am unfortunately. Sorry. Hi, I'm Morgan, I used to live here." I introduce myself formally.

He breaks a sweat. "I'm Monty, nice meeting you. How long ago did you live here?"

"Oh, years ago." I lie. I don't want him knowing that I was the last person here who helped destroy this place. I'm sure it wasn't left in good condition, they probably got this place for half of what it's worth. Good for them.

"Nice." He nods. "Well, welcome back. How about a tour?"

"Oh, I-I don't want to impose." I stammer, backing up to my car.

He laughs, waving me over as he heads to the steps. "You're not, I'm inviting you. Come on, you're just in time for Mom's biscuits."

I freeze in place, the only things moving are my eyelids malfunctioning and my heart beating.

Monty approaches me ever so carefully.

"Breathe," The man tells me in a calm manner. "It's just a house..." He says, emulating my panicked breaths.

Suddenly, my heart rate slows and my fists unball.

"What are you, some sort of doctor?" I ask him, taking the lead to the front door.

He chuckles. "Yes, a children's doctor. My daughter suffers from frequent anxiety attacks, so I do my best."

"How old is she?" I wonder.

He just smiles at me with jolly red cheeks. "You'll meet her in a second."

We venture inside and I'm fully shocked at how this house has transformed into something livable for a loving family with small kids and everything.

Toys, everywhere. Family portraits, dysfunctional ones that show their personality and lively spirits. A lived-in kitchen and familial spaces throughout the mansion.

This. Is. Wild.

~

"Well, again, thank you for stopping by." Juana says to me out by the pool.

"Thanks for having me. Sorry I just dropped in, I just wanted to see if this place was still here."

"What did you think they'd do with such a nice house, burn it down?" She laughs.

I hoped," I mumble with a raised eyebrow. "Still, I think you should do something about those two bedrooms; the office, too."

Juana bobs her head, debating. "Any ideas?"

I take a sip to cool down and then shrug as if I don't have a clue but I do.

"I'd start by saging it." I laugh to keep things light but I mean it.

Juana cracks up. "You're too funny, Morgan."

"Yeah, well, I'm serious, too." I cause Juana to straighten her face.

She swallows and touches her cross necklace.

"Lot of... energy in that house." I let her know.

Juana just stares off into the distance. There's a prolonged silence before she lights a cigarette and says, "Yeah. Perhaps we can start with the lavender room, it's just too much, y'know?"

I sit back in the lawn chair and exhale deeply. "Yeah, I know. Trust me."