"Time doesn't heal emotional pain, you need to learn how to let go"

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𝑴𝒐𝒓𝒈𝒂𝒏

"You sound so good, babe." I cheer on Chris as he performs in the shower.
Sometimes I forget he can sing. Then, he gets in the shower and acts like he's on a world tour.

He keeps singing loudly as I brush my teeth at the sink.

I rinse with some mouth wash and clean out my sink before finishing the rest of my morning routine.

Chris steps out of the shower and I catch a glimpse of his full naked body briefly before he covers up with a towel around his waist.

"Damn right I do." He replies, kissing my cheek.

It's super early as he's getting ready for work. Normally, I'd make him breakfast (or vice versa) and then go back to sleep once the dogs are taken care of, but I feel motivated this morning. So, I'm going to an early Pilates class before running errands.
Today's a little different because Jasmine's hosting her parents and her in-laws so we can't do what we usually would in the mornings. I offered Izzy to hang out but she says she doesn't wake up until noon these days.

I clip half up my wet hair up and start to blow-dry the rest.

Chris comes and stands behind me, making faces in the mirror.

"What are you-" I giggle. "Christopher, you're literally in my video, I'm filming a 'get ready with me.'"

"Can I be in it again, they love me." He boasts, smiling in the frame.

"Your hair smells good." He tells me, staying in my shadow as he shaves his face.

"Nooo!" I whine. "I liked the beard."

He just grits his teeth and flashes a cheeky smile before going to continue to shave it all off.

I cut the camera so I can finish my hair. Spoiler alert: Chris and I got too distracted by his playlist so I forgot to film the rest of my daily morning routine that over two thousand people on TikTok asked to see. Oops.

Chris and I are eating breakfast outside while the dogs run around.

"I can't believe how big they are." I frown, watching Duke and Stevie run around. They're, like, fully grown, it's crazy.

"I'm just happy they don't have any puppies, yet."

I raise my eyebrow at him. "Don't push your no kids propaganda onto them." I tease.

Chris bites his turkey bacon and laughs small. "About that, actually... anything you wanna tell me?" He asks, washing his food down with some tea.

I shake my head no.

"Huh." Chris sounds, sitting back in the chair. "Okay."

"What?" I giggle, seeing his distrusting face.

"Nothing." He chuckles, stuffing his face.

"What's that?" I kid, pointing to nothing.

When Chris turns his head to look, I steal the other half of his bacon.
Cheap shot, I know. He asked me if I wanted a slice and I said no because there were only two left and I knew he'd eat them, but I can't resist.

"Wow." He draws, shaking his head at me.

"I'm sorry." I laugh, pulling my feet from his chair.

"You ever wake up feeling like it's not gonna be a good day?" Chris speaks.

I smile big and agree silently. "Actually, I woke up feeling like it's going to be such a good day!"

"Really?" He asks, face straight but I could see he wanted to smile.

"Mhm!" I bubble, going over to sit on his lap. "Everyday is a good day as long as I love you and you love me."

"What's that, a new mantra?"

"Exactly," I giggle, putting my forehead to his. "you should try it."

That's when his alarm goes off, disrupting our little euphoria.

"You didn't say it back-" I start to say but Chris cuts me off with a quick kiss on the lips.

"I love you," he says, standing us up. "and it's not a competition, but I love you way more."

I roll my eyes and bite down on my smile. "You're right, it's not a competition, but I have you beat. Have the best day, baby."

~~~

As the day goes on, I'm filming the parts that people might want to see most: picking up packages, light shopping, walking the dogs, opening those PR (public relations) packages, etc.

I get a dozen messages and comments asking when I'll move to LA, if ever.

"—Umm, I haven't really thought about it. I don't think we want to move to LA. No offense, it just doesn't seem like a place where we want to be. I do want to move, though, any suggestions?" I talk to the screen while I'm on Instagram live around noon.

I love what I do. I'm not caught up in the hustle and bustle of the inside world of "influencers." I sell my organic skincare products, push content, collaborate with brands I believe in, connect with over a million people, participate in trends I find fun or cute, and post pictures/reels. What more could I ask?

Duke and Stevie are playing and barking in the background meanwhile.

A text makes me stop replying to my follower's questions so I can read it:

This is Christopher Omar Vaughn. I have a new number

I laugh out loud at the proper wording of his text message and reply:

Why did you say it like that? 😂Now I don't believe it's you...

He answers:

Ask me anything

What's my favorite color?

Too easy

What's your favorite color?

Girl...

I laugh out loud again and drum up some harder questions:

Where's my secret tattoo?

You don't have one, you wouldn't do that to your body
BUT if you did you said it would be your lower back
Which is hot btw I'm not opposed to it

Bye. Don't you have work to do?

I return to my live, laughing at my boyfriend and all his randomness.

"Sorry, guys," I say to the camera. "Chris is so weird. Um, next question: would I move to Nashville?"

I get excited with the mention of Tennessee as that's number one on my list of places to move to once we settle down. Of course, every time I mention it to Chris, he asks "what the fuck is in Nashville?"

Night after night, I show him house tours on YouTube - beautiful Nashville homes. I think he's jealous, he always judges the architecture, saying they're all unoriginal and overpriced. There's a few homes we've agreed on, though, usually that modern farmhouse style I love so much. I've begged him to go on some in-person tours but he's just too busy, especially to fly out to Tennessee even if it's just for a day.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

The banging on the door makes Stevie and Duke bark until I go see who's there.

It's Lucia from the Spanish family restaurant downtown.

What's she doing here?

I open the door and she barges right in.

"Ay, Morgan," she talks fast through an accent. "Sorry I'm late."

"Late for what, Lucia?" I shut the door behind her.

The dogs greet her with licks and tail wags before I put them behind the gate because she didn't look like she liked them too much.

She looks around admirably. "Beautiful home."

"Lucia," I get her attention back. "what are you doing here?"

"Oh," she remembers. "Here."

I'm handed a full, black Kate Spade baby bag and a bag of frozen Perdue chicken tenders.

"What's all this?" I ask, stumped.

Lucia looks at me like I have three heads. "Chris said you'd watch mi nieta."

I use my Spanish knowledge from college to translate that although I was familiar with the term because Chris's Grandma Lena calls me that all the time - granddaughter.

I slow her down and speak clearly in her face. "What granddaughter, Lucia? This is my first time hearing of any of this."

She helps herself to the cookies I baked not long ago.

"¡Mmm, muy bueno!" She speaks to my cooking, getting distracted again.

"Lucia!" I yell to reel her back in to our conversation.

"Oh, oh," she sputters, "you remember my daughter, Rosie? She had a baby."

"Aww, how long ago?"

"Four years." Lucia tells me, making my smile drop that fast.

~

5:45pm

"Your mom will be here soon, let's clean you up before your Mom gets here. Okay?" I take her hand when she lets me and lead her upstairs. We even make a game of it, racing to the top. I let her win, of course, and this brings out a toothy smile.

I put the four-year-old up on the sink and give her one of my white and black cow print spa headbands to wear while we wash our faces.
It's time I start getting ready for date night, so I decide I'll just have Milan mirror me.

She seems to enjoy the pampering.

"Okay," I giggle, "first, we wash. Like this, see. There you go! Yup, rinse it. Perfect, pretty Princess!"

"What's next?!" She exclaims, bending her knees.

I smile, laying out an array of extra skincare tools and moisturizers. Now, I'm not letting her use anything fancy or unsafe for children's skin. I let her use baby lotion and a jade roller. That, and some Cherry Vaseline for her lips.

"Look!" She squeals in the mirror at her own reflection.

"Oh my gosh," I pretend to gasp. "You are a queen!"

"I'm a queen!" She repeats with this smile as big as Victoria Lake.

"Yes you are, don't forget it!" I gush, flicking her cute little button nose.

She does this thing with her fingers that most kids do when gesturing for a hug, but I relate it to Quinn because she used to do that.
"Uppies!" She would say, begging for me to pick her up.

I look down at Milan and smile with teary eyes.

She's still reaching for me and I freeze. I can only see Quinn.

Milan giggles, grabbing my body. She squeezes me like Quinn used to.

"Um—" I shudder with emotion, not embracing her back at first.

Quinn's gone, a voice in my head reminds me. There's a kid right here who wants my love yet I'm dwelling on the past. What if this were my daughter, would I not hug her back, fearful of this painful memory of my niece?

Noticing Milan squeeze tighter, I pick her up and hold her tight, making her laugh in my ear.

I pull away from her and just smile small, giving her a high-five.

"Morgan," Chris's voice appears. He stands in the doorway. "Rosie's here for Milan. Are you ready?"

"Yeah!" Milan rushes to agree to see her mother after a long day. I'm sad our time is over already. We could've played makeover hours ago.

I let Milan keep the cow print spa headband since she looked so cute in it, and walk her outside with Chris.

"How was it?" He asks me as Rosie helps her daughter into the car seat.

"She's a good kid, really cute." I shrug.

When Rosie beeps, we wave at her and see the Gonzalez family off for the night.

Chris walks inside, shutting the door behind me.

I fold my arms at him as he plays with the dogs.

"What?" He asks, chuckling because he knows he's not off the hook yet.

"Any other random kids you want to tell me about? Want me to watch Lora's granddaughter next?" I tease him, ambling slowly up the staircase.

~~~

The Tasty Tajine is an underrated eatery in the heart of the city near other "foreign" cuisine spots.
I like that we sit on cushions on the floor, it's informal to Americans, but I quite enjoy it.

While we did carpool, I insisted Lee and Izzy sit separately from us. They talked the whole car ride about Izzy's changing vagina and Lee's job, I've had enough. Plus, I can tell something else was on Chris's mind so I wanted to get him alone to talk about it.

"—That's why I suggested Nashville, remember? The smaller houses were cute. Of course, it doesn't have to be Nashville, but I'm kinda stuck on it now. I think if we moved, then I'd think about opening a center again. I still really want to help the girls and do something for the community, I just can't do that now, you know? My heart's not in it here." I know Chris didn't catch a word I said.

"Yeah." He replies plainly. See.

Granted, I was talking. A lot.

I sigh and toy with the contents on the table.

"The rice was good." I make small talk about our appetizers.

"Yeah." Chris says again, staring past my head.

"Baby, are you okay?" I ask him, putting my hand over his.

It isn't until he pulls away that I see why: his knuckles are slightly bruised.

I immediately imagine the worst, but don't assume. I've learned that lesson. Plus, I trust him. Perhaps, a hard day at work if he went to the construction site for this Russ Brown build. Yeah, let's go with that.

"Tell me." I insist, staring at his hand.

He hides the evidence under the table and says, "I'm fine."

"You always are." I both worry and feel relief simultaneously.
With him, that could mean multiple things. Either there was a situation he took care of. Or, it'll come back to haunt him later.
Judging by the spaced out look in his eyes, there are some loose ends.

I smile small just to assure him I won't pry.

Chris kisses my hand, a gesture he's done to me several times but it's never unappreciated.

Then I follow his gaze to his own hands. He draws a breath.

"My dad used to say 'my hands look like this so hers can look like that.'" He recites in a low voice.

"My dad said that, too, which I always found funny because he does people's taxes so I don't get why he had such rough hands." I laugh at myself and feel heartwarmed when Chris joins in.

The laughing settles and Chris reaches across the table to kiss me once ever so gently.

He sits back and I take him in for a moment, silently admiring his looks.
The black button-up is doing him a favor although he doesn't need any, he's breathtakingly handsome on his own. I love his hair pushed back like that. Though I was against him shaving earlier, the clean look also suits him. His scent wins over the smell of kebabs and chicken that fill the restaurant and our bellies.

I notice Chris part his lips like he's ready to say something, then he stops.
There's this internal battle he's having about whether to spit it out or not, I can tell by the way his eyes are darting. He rotates his jaw and laughs through his nose.

"What?" I finally ask him to say what's on his mind already.

"Do you know why I fell in love with you?" Chris asks me.

I notice his eyes stuck on my chest as it accidentally spills onto the table from my little black tube dress.
"I'm guessing my body." I make a joke of his staring.

Chris chuckles then his lips and reverts his eyes to mine. "No, I didn't fall in love with you for your body, Morgan."

I sip my drink as he goes on.

"I fell in love with you because you didn't just look at me, you really saw me. You talked to me like no one else ever did - like you saw something more in me. Everyone else thought I was just a basketball player, son of an alcoholic, always fighting."

"Believe it or not, Chris, you have a lot of personality, it attracted me to you. I wanted to... peel back the layers, I guess. Trust me, if you weren't worth it, I wouldn't have bothered but I could see something in you."

"If I'm being honest, Morgan, the reason I didn't want you to have a baby before is 'cause I was scared. I didn't want to share you. I know how much you miss Quinn so I thought if you had a baby you'd solely focus on it. At the same time, I want more of you — you know I keep talking about leveling up with you. All that shit about getting the girl then the job, raising a family, or whatever the fuck— that's why I told Lucia you'd babysit. And seeing you all motherly like that earlier confirmed everything."

My smile turns into laughter. "Oh, yeah! Fuck you for volunteering me like that, I had to cancel my hair appointment! It was worth it, though, Milan is a great kid."

Chris looks at me with a face that I just know means he is about to say something smart.
"I don't know, your hair doesn't look as good as it normally does. Was it worth it?" He makes me laugh out loud.

I playfully cover his mouth to stop any other jokes from coming out and call for our waiter.
"Check, please!"