"it is often a comfort to shift one's position, and be bruised in a new place."

──────⊱⁜⊰─────

𝑴𝒐𝒓𝒈𝒂𝒏

"I'm so upset you're leaving me." Mary complains in our hug.

I rub her back a few times before letting go.

"It's not like you'll never see us again." I remind her with a sweet smile. My voice cracks because I doubt myself on that.

Of course we can travel to and from, whatever, but it's not the same if I can't just run over to Mary's house, or The Q, and vent.

We begin to walk around the loft as the men help with the furniture. I instructed them to just pack up little knickknacks and things that wouldn't be missed until we settle in the new place.

"The couch?" Asked Dale.

I shake my head no. "That can stay."

"Air-fryer?" Dale questions next, just wanting to do something.

"Sure," I reply through a sigh, "he never uses it."

Carter walks back inside suddenly with a spring in his step because he no longer had to wear the arm-sling. He was never severely injured anyway, according to what Mary said, the bullet just grazed him.

"What's next? The bed?" Carter rubs his hands together all too eager.

I tilt my head at him, hands on hips. "Well, someone's excited to get rid of me."

He laughs hard, coming over to give me a squeeze. "No, I'm just excited I got my arm back."

"No, I know." I push out, creating space between my body and his.

"What can I do, Captain?" He asks me, pulling up his Levi jeans.

"Honey, don't overdo it. Take little things." Mary advises her husband.

Carter squeezes his wives cheeks and mocks her for nagging him, insisting he's at his hundred percent strength.

"Chris's desk and things in the office can go, then I think that's it." I say to Carter just so I can have Mary back to myself to talk.

Mary swats at Carter's hairy knuckles and shoos him away.

I watch in awe as the cheerful smile fades from her lips.

"I just can't believe he's so hellbent on leaving." I let out, putting my cheek in the palm of my hand.

"I know. What did he say?"

"It was, like, his way or the highway; he said he hates it here."

Mary's mouth stretches into an 'o' with shock. "He said that?" she asks and I nod my head to confirm.

She asks, "What's gotten into him?"

I shake my head, just as confused as her. "I don't know, and he's in such a rush to move, too, so he can get back to work."

"Must be some promotion."

"Right." I huff, picking up my glass of lemonade.

"Anyway," Mary picks up her tone to change the subject to a better one. "what about kids? Have you had a conversation about that since everything?"

I rub the back of my neck, uncomfortable with the idea.

"I want them eventually, but there's so much around that, that I'm scared to bring it up." I nod my head, trying to keep it together but I feel tears coming on.

Suddenly, I start to cry and Mary immediately consoles me. Her hugs are angelic and instantly make me feel better.

"I'm sorry," I sniffle, wiping away my tears. "it's just still so hard. I miss Quinn everyday. I don't know if I'll be able to have a kid as great as her, you know? I'll feel like I'm replacing her."

Mary puts her hand on mine, seeing me start to struggle.

"It's okay," she whispers, "let it out..."

"I'm fine," I claim quickly. "it's okay. Sorry."

"You'll get there," she assures me. "baby steps. For now, just focus on this move."

"I know, I know. I really am happy for him." I say, sliding off of the stool so Dale and Carter can take them to storage as well.

"You know what I just thought about?" Mary speaks plainly.

"What?" I wonder.

"You won't be able to eat any more of Sherry's muffins!"

I toss my head back and groan at the realization. "But you'll send me some, right?!"

~~~

"CHEERS!" Everyone exclaims, toasting.

"Hell yeah!" Lee roars before taking his first shot. Well, his first collective shot, he's been drinking since noon according to Izzy.

"Mind if I say a couple of words?" AJ took the floor.

We met at The Barns for a last minute chiller without all the old people, AKA a going away party but I asked them not to call it that.

"If you must." I give him a hard time, but that's just our dynamic.

AJ removes his glasses to reveal his dark brown eyes staring at me but I wasn't phased.

"Hurry up!" I rush him so we could hear the rest of our friends, too.

Chris chuckles in my ear and pulls me back onto his lap to calm down for a second.

"I want to start by saying congratulations, y'all. I'm proud of you both for sticking things out and making this commitment. Chris, we just made up but I hope you know I'll be here for you. And, Morgan, ugh." Adriel gives his piece and I 'boo' him away.

Chris acts like the most stubborn, impatient and ruthless guy but he's clearly so forgiving and understanding. It shocked me that he forgave AJ after he proved to be a snake. I say all the time that he's really a big baby deep down.

"Me next!" Cleo rises in her chair to be taller than everyone sitting.

"Cleo, you're going back to New York with us," Chris grumbles, "sit down."

See, she loves attention, at least she's usually worth a few laughs.

Trey speaks up next. "I feel like I've known y'all for years, man. I love to see two people in love and that's what I see here. Just don't get in no shit in the city or you know we'll assemble."

I don't get the joke but all of the guys do and they begin to laugh as Trey takes a seat beside Reese who I've grown to really like, actually. He's quiet but super fiery when you get him talking, and I love his fashion sense!

"I wish I could come, bro, but you gonna kill it out there. Morgan, make sure he keeps his head on straight." JB reaches over to dap me up and I giggle.

I reply, "for sure," and then look to Jasmine thinking she'd want to go next but she started crying.

"Sweetie, what's wrong?" Izzy asks her, trying to pry each finger from covering Jasmine's face.

Jasmine hurriedly excuses herself from the table and storms outside of the barn, disappearing into the night.

"I swear I didn't do nothing." Jabari quickly lets us know. While everyone else laughed and picked up another conversation, I went after my best friend. No, my sister.

"Jas!" I shout, stepping into the darkness.

"Stop, Mo." she insists with a sniffle.

I snap my neck to the right and see her sitting on a hay bail much like Callie was on that one night she and Chris had that much needed heart-to-heart.

I sigh heavily before sitting beside the newlywed.

"What's up? And don't say 'nothing,' you know I'm gonna keep asking."

Jasmine laughs to stop crying but it hardly helps.

"I don't want you to go to New York," she admits, wiping her nose with her palm. "I know it sounds selfish but you're my best friend. I was surrounded by fake bitches before you came along, now I can't imagine not going to Pilates together or randomly pulling up to drink wine in the car at midnight and rewatch Euphoria or Queer Eye."

"Aw, Jas!" I groan, leaning into her body.

She holds me back and we both breathe in then out.

"Come with us!" I offer a bright idea, all too excited.

"What? No. I can't."

"Why can't you?" I frown. "Didn't you say you and JB were looking for a house?"

"Yeah... but," she stammers trying to find a fault with my suggestion but couldn't.
"No, Morgan, that's too much." Jasmine insists, making me upset.

"Fine, stay here, then." I use reverse psychology and know it'll work on her.

I stand and start to walk away but before long, Jasmine calls out my name with a "wait!"

"What?"

Her eyes are calculative. "Maybe, but, where?"

I conceal my excited grin by biting down on my lower lip. Cue internal happy dance.

"As soon as I get there I'll do some house hunting, okay? Look online, too."

"This is crazy. We'll have to find work, and-"

"Jasmine. He's a security guard and you're a nurse slash lash tech, you'll find work, okay? Stop worrying so much."

Jasmine's smile is reassuring and lifts up my mood.

"Okay," she exhales more confidently this time.

"Wait. You don't think this is too much?" Jasmine questions me.

I stop and stare at her. "What's too much?"

"Us following y'all to New York? You don't want to talk to Chris about it?"

"For one, he doesn't own New York. Two, I'm sure Jabari will. Now can we get back to the party, Miss Drama Queen?"

Jasmine's laugh is light and airy. She takes my hand and we skip back inside, earning applause from our close friends.

"I know, I know," she talks with sass in her tone. "it's not a party without me. Let's take shots!"

I resume my position on Chris's lap and smack my lips at him when I see my Seagrams Escapes wine cooler is no longer full like how I left it.

"I could've sworn I just opened this before I left." I comment.

Chris shrugs, guilt wearing all over his face. "Me too, I don't know what happened."

"Mhm." I murmur.

"What was that about?" He changes the subject to ask about Jasmine's brief episode.

"Oh," I pause, unsure I want to tell him now or not. "um, nothing, we'll talk about it later."

That's quickly become a theme between the two of us, I'm going to nip it in the bud later, I make a mental note.

"Morgan, we were just talking about you." Cleo speaks over everyone.

"What was said?" I face her, cooler to my lips.

"Do you have a lot of back pain?"

I flip her off as my other hand lifts the glass to my lips for a drink. A chug, rather.

The night goes on and the guys end up going down by the water to smoke and talk about whatever it is that guys do. Naturally, Cleo went with them. Except, I'm pretty sure she and AJ snuck off together.

"—I just don't feel like being married to Lee, yet. It's basically ownership. I mean, he can get me a ring any day and we're already committed, why do we need a huge cake, some witnesses, and paperwork for that?" Izzy vents but I was hardly listening because my own thoughts are running wild.

"Morgan?" Jasmine calls out my name. She sits up and brings attention to my distant look.

"Are you okay?" she asks me.

"Yes." I answer fast to hurry off of the topic.

"Actually, no," I admit, sinking in the high chair. "I'm not sure about this move and it's eating me up."

"But you just said-" Jasmine nearly outs our earlier conversation but I want to keep it under wraps until she at least finds a place in Port Ember.

"I know what I said," my tone is more harsh than intended and I send her an apologetic look. "it's just that I— this is gonna sound stupid, but Chris and I just got back together, right? We love each other obviously, but what if things are different now?"

"What do you mean?" Asks Izzy, leaning in to show how attentively she's listening, and I love that about her.

I shake my head with doubt, feeling insecure about my own thoughts.

"It's dumb..." I mumble under my breath.

"If it's weighing on your heart, no it's not. Talk to us." Jasmine's voice is soothing enough to make me spit it out.

"Since we met — eleven months ago— Chris and I have been up and down. When it's good it's great, but when it's bad... it's the end of the world. Of course we've overcame so much, and Malcolm's gone so that's a giant factor. I guess I just feel like— shit, I don't even know what I feel."

Jasmine's hand falls onto my knee in the most reassuring manner that makes me feel less silly about everything.
After all, they are my girls and that's what they're here for. I just don't like constantly making things about myself. So much has happened surrounding me, I want to focus the attention elsewhere for a while.

"You feel like you won't be able to have a normal relationship?" Jasmine read my mind.

"Yes!" I exclaim and feel several pounds lighter once it's off my chest.

"Gosh. I feel so bad saying it. It's not like I want us to be toxic, we're not. It's just that... what if we only love each other because of our situation, you know? I never really told you guys the extent but clearly Chris is Malcolm's nephew and I was supposed to be with Malcolm. So, like-"

Working on the same idea I had, Izzy speaks up for me. "So, like, it could've just been the heat of the moment? Will-they-won't-they thing that kinda made it interesting?"

I pause to think about if that was true or not and it is pretty accurate.

"Yeah." I nod, rolling my suspended ankle as my leg is crossed over my knee.

"I get that. It was, like, hot 'cause it was forbidden and there was so much at risk, but now that that element is gone, it's like-"

I cut her off to say, "It's like do we know how to operate as a normal couple, do we even really love each other?"

"Don't say that, it's clear as day that you and Chris are in love." Jasmine emphasizes.

"I know," I whine, shifting my gaze to her, "but if that never happened, we wouldn't be together, you know what I mean?"

"Okay, but that's everything, though. If my dad never met my mom, I wouldn't be here." Jasmine feeds back.

"Right, but no. I know what you're saying, but I also know what I feel and what I'm trying to say."

Izzy takes a drink and then rubs my back, making me turn my head to look at her bold face. "I get you, Morgy. You're just feeling a little insecure right now and that's totally fine, but as far as wondering if you really love each other? Clearly."

"Seriously. You suck this man's balls and call him Daddy, you're in love and he's definitely in love." Jasmine makes me laugh with her point. True.

"Morgy, I'm gonna miss you so much." Izzy pretends to cry. If she wasn't so cute, I wouldn't let her call me that awful nickname, but she is so I'll allow it.

"You know, Izzy, if you and Lee get a tiny house you can take it to New York, I'm sure there's some land somewhere close you can park it?" I bring up.

Izzy purses her lips. "Lee actually wants to stay out of the city, so."

"Why do you both keep letting your men make these decisions?" I ask without any forethought.

Jasmine scoffs. "Girl, we could ask you the same thing." She and Izzy laugh, clinking their glasses.

I hate that she's right and immediately retreat back into my thoughts.

"What are we talking about?" Cleo joins the table all of a sudden.

"And where were you?" Izzy's question intrigues me because I wanted to know, too, so I snap out of my head and glare at Cleo.

"If I say I was with AJ do I have to give details?" She reveals all in one breath.

Izzy, Jasmine, and I all squeal because this information is too juicy: AJ, the reject, and Cleo, who's supposed to be this eccentric "super" lesbian, simply can't resist each other. A duo that was never expected, honestly. I, like everyone else in our friend group, don't know how to feel about it.

"Yes," Jasmine replies darkly. "spill."

"Okay, so-" Cleo begins to tell the story but she's disrupted by a commotion at the barn doors.

"Izzy, Lee's yakking all over the place." Jabari mentions, looking quite uneasy himself.

"Jesus, what were you guys doing?!" She bolts up from her seat and runs over to Lee's body hunched over just outside of the barn.

Gross.

"I think that's how you end a night." Chris's heavy voice rings through our ears.

"Party's over." Adriel baritones in Cleo's ear and she nudges him with her elbow.

"Wahh!" Jasmine and I cry, hugging each other, because the next time she sees me it'll be over FaceTime from the East Coast.

I lift my legs and Jasmine spins me around, not wanting to let go.

"You don't see us doing all that." Jabari remarked, breaking my body apart from his wife's.

I suck my teeth and let Jasmine handle him.

"Go ahead," she snaps. "It'll be sexy."

"Goodnight everybody, thank you." Chris gives a general closing statement whereas I hugged everyone individually.

"Ready?" Chris asks once I take his hand finally.

I look over my shoulder and blow kisses to the girls.

"Bye!" Jasmine squeaks.

"It's not bye, it's see you later!" I remind her as Chris pulls me away.

Boy, is this how Romeo and Juliet felt?

~~~

I return from the guest room, where Cleo is staying, after some grown up girl talk. Really, I just got her advice on what I told Izzy and Jas - my insecurities about mine and Chris's relationship.

Everything goes so great for a period of time and then something comes along to burst that bubble. I was almost confident that without Malcolm that won't be the case anymore. The problem is, will we even like each other without all the drama in our relationship, you know? Cleo, like Jas and Izzy, said it's stupid, I'm overthinking and just in a transitional phase right now so things are unclear. They're right. I hope. . .

"Hey." Chris's sleepy voice presents itself when I step into his bedroom.

"Hey, babe." I speak lightly and tiptoe across the floor.

"What are you working on?" I wonder, making myself a nuisance as I massage his bare shoulders.

"Shit," he growls, balling up a design. "it's all shit. I can't fucking get work done here. This is why I can't wait to get back to New York."

I'm taken aback at his rage. When did he start feeling so strongly about New York?

Chris stands, reminding me of our height difference, and saunters over to the bed.

I watch him peel his tank off and plug his phone into the charger.

I close my agape mouth and walk to my side of the bed, seeing the time.

"About the move-"

"You're not about to give me shit for it again, are you? We literally leave in the morning."

My face curls at his attitude. "No! Well, maybe. Chris, I just don't get where this is coming from?"

He slowly blinks at me, showing his disdain.

I go on to say, "The girls and I were talking and I think you're rushing to make these big decisions without even thinking about what I want."

He looks under his eyebrows at me, head tilted down, and I immediately regret saying anything.

"You thought that or they did for you?"

I scoff. "I did! I don't really want to move, if I'm being honest. I mean, I'm trying to be supportive but-"

"You said you wanted to move, you said you're gonna support me on this. What is all of this extra stuff, Morgan?"

"What's extra? I just don't want to leave everything behind."

"Babe, I promise you, it's not that great here. You're just scared, it's okay." He says, climbing into bed as if the conversation is over.

"I am scared..." I admit with a sudden spike in my volume. "which is why I want Jasmine and JB to come, too."

"What?!" He asks as fast as the crack of a whip, tone just as sharp.

"Won't it be fun, them coming with us?" I try to smile big as I jump onto the bed and hope that'll wave his opinion.

Chris drags a hand down his tired face. "No, that's not fun. The point is to start over somewhere new, Morgan, we can't do that if the whole town tags along."

"Do you want to start new, Chris, or do you just want to work?" I argue with the roll of my neck, arms folded over my chest.

"You've gotta stop talking to your friends if they're putting this shit in your head." He snarls.

"What shit? It's true, I feel like you just care about this promotion and not me and our fragile relationship."

"Where the fuck did that come from? Now I don't care about our relationship? Excuse me, our fragile relationship? The fuck."

I count to three before cussing back at him and blowing things out of proportion.

This is how couples work through their problems, it's a completely normal conversation, I'm not even going to call it an argument. Woo-sah.

"Whatever." I huff, rolling off of the mattress.

I step back into my slippers and grab my phone, prepared to sleep on the couch.

"Where you going?" he asks with a desperate ring in his voice.

"I'm sleeping on the couch, you're obviously stressed and need space." I reply — what I think was fairly — calmly.

I hear Chris calling out for me but just let him speak to my backside before I slam his bedroom door shut.

I'm only four relatable TikTok's deep into my 'for you' page and Chris comes to bother me.

He grabs my ankles and starts pulling me off of the couch, thinking this was cute and funny but I wasn't in a cute and funny mood.

"Come to bed, babe, you know I can't sleep without you."

"You should've thought about that a couple minutes ago."

He lies on top of my body, knowingly crushing me with his weight.

"Don't be mad, Annie, seriously. I'm sorry."

"I'm not mad, I'm just giving you space right now. Get off of me, lard ass."

He chuckles but doesn't move, only kisses all over my face.

"You are, and I don't get why. How can you say you want to support me but every two seconds you're saying you don't want to move?"

I bat my eyelashes and try to hear him out.

Chris stands and I can breathe again, but not for long because his disappointed glare is enough to make me want to cry.

"Okay," I give in. "I'm sorry."

"Don't just say that, Morgan, mean it."

I stand and grab Chris at his torso to keep his body square and from walking away.

I look up at him and force his eyes on mine. "No, I am sorry. You're right."

Chris's hands rub down my arms. He kisses my forehead and then says, "We can talk about Jasmine and JB moving in the morning. Let's just go to bed, alright?"

I nod, liking the sound of that, and Chris's smile makes me smile.

"What time is the flight again?" I ask through a yawn.

Chris settles under the covers and yawns himself.

I lay my hair across the pillow and make myself comfortable on my side of the bed before Chris pulls my leg over his body.

"Five." he answers after quickly alluding to the digital alarm clock.

12:42am

I do a double take at the time and scream, "Five?!"