"I think we're just going to have to be secretly in love with each other and leave it at that"

Chris Omar Vaughn

"Whew, honey," Magnolia Staples breathed into the mic.

She. Or he? I don't know the persons pronouns, and that's a thing apparently. Either way, it's a drag queen. My mother convinced Morgan and I to tag along, and of course Morgan jumped at the idea. I asked JB to come but he said he's not with "the gay shit" so he and Jasmine went out again. I don't know how they can go to bar after bar, we just went to a big birthday party at the club last week and I'm still recuperating from that.

"I see some good looking people in the crowd tonight," the queen raved.

Everyone in the crowd started to clap, snap, and cheer.

No lie, though, Magnolia's very funny, had Morgan, Mom, and I all weak in our seats.

The show was at the café after hours, something thrown together last minute. It was Morgan's doing, she had met this queen some time shortly before the performance and found out they had been turned away from their original venue due to some "religious conflicts" with the owners. So, Morgan suggested they have the show here. The idea was good and bad because it sold out, but the Elk Lodge is only so big.

I'd never been to a drag show before so I had no expectations and they were still somehow exceeded. There was comedy, art, classical music, and rapping. Oh, and a lot of jump splits. Morgan's eyes were filled with wonder all night. She was at the edge of her seat and generously tipped every queen who performed.

Magnolia, who was taller than me in those heels that hurt my ankles just looking at them, stepped down from the stage and walked the room.

"Let's see who we got in the house tonight. Who this, Nutty Professor?" she cracked on a patron.

The room filled with laughter, even from myself.

Morgan nudged me. "Give her a tip!"

I reached in my pocket and found a small stack of cash.

Mom said it was rude to just give a dollar so I waved a five and Magnolia sniffed it out, approaching me.

"Whoo-weee!" She exclaimed, bending over in front of me.

Morgan and Mom squealed, hyping this up as I threw my head back.

Oh my God. If Jabari saw this shit...

Magnolia reached between her thick, padded, brown thighs and collected the cash.

I laughed at her and picked up my second drink of the night. I needed it.

Some men behind me whistled, vying for the female impersonator's attention.

"I don't know y'all, I might've found me a little ting," the queen announced, referring to me.

Morgan raised her glass, sitting just inches from me at the round table. She was enjoying this a little too much, my mother too.

"Mm girl, let me know, he looking at his girlfriend to save him," Magnolia cracked, making us laugh.

Morgan almost choked on her drink, laughing so hard.

"Baby, I got a hole too," the queen expressed, dropping it low in front of me.

Everyone around began to make it rain over the plus-sized queen into a side split.

"Help me up, goddamn it," she cussed at someone at the next table.

Magnolia eyed Morgan and then took her tip.

"Mmph," the queen sounded, comedically pausing with her green contact lenses darting around my table.

"I don't know y'all, I gotta go grab my breast plate, he like tig ole bitties, and I— I don't know if I got the facilities for that," Magnolia joked, pushing up her imagination, trying to make cleavage.

I swear I never seen my mother or Morgan laugh harder, it was nice they were really enjoying themselves.

Magnolia made her way back to the stage, saying that was her show and where to find her online.

*

"That was actually very nice," Mom bubbled, walking with her arms linked to Morgan's as I trailed behind.

"It was, we'll have to go again!"

"I'd love that!" Mom chimed, hugging her.

That's when her phone rang and the three of us stopped on the sidewalk under the lampposts.

Morgan found me and elbowed me. "That wasn't so bad, was it?" she asked, grinning.

I didn't say anything.

"—Okay, honey, I'll be right there. Love you, too," Mom said, ending the call.

She walked over and gave me a hug, and then Morgan. "I have to, that was your father. You two have a good night, get home safe!"

Once she was gone, Morgan and I continued our walk as we had another two blocks to reach where I parked, and Teddy was picking her up.

"Hey!" A voice stopped us.

I didn't know this person but Morgan welcomed them warmly with a hug.

"That was a great show, Brandon!" She screamed, spinning in a circle.

Brandon gave her another squeeze and they held hands in the middle of the sidewalk.

"I'm glad you lived!" This Brandon person said.

Oh, wait, Brandon is Magnolia Staples. Okay, that makes sense. I noticed the merch he was wearing, his own.

"Oh, this is the boyfriend?" Magnolia asked, batting his lashes at me.

I just waved impatiently, wanting to get back to the car already.

"Uh, no, I'm single actually," Morgan told, adding an awkward laugh to cushion the blow. It didn't. I didn't like that.

Single? Okay, fine we don't have a title, but she is not single. She's with Malcolm. You'd think she'd at least mention that for a cover.

I am not mad she said I'm not her boyfriend. Nope. I'm not.

What? I'm not.

I started walking before they finished their talk, I didn't care what else Magnolia-Brandon had to say.

It was late and getting darker sooner as it was the last night of August. Summer had flown by, it seems like just yesterday Morgan got here and I was trying to convince Malcolm she had a kid so he'd send her ass packing. Well, I guess I'm glad he didn't in a way.

"Wait up!" Morgan yelled after me.

I didn't.

She started running and then pushed me in my back.

"I said wait," she gritted, being playful.

"Wow, you're not going to hold my hand?" She asked, waving it in my face.

I saw it, I just didn't want to. You know, since she's so single.

But I'm not mad.

"Ew," she recoiled, walking backwards to read my face. "what's wrong with you?"

"Nothing," I murmured.

"You're mad," she said, tripping over a crack in the uneven sidewalk. Someone should really do something about it, if she wasn't more careful, Morgan would've fell.

I wasn't even sure where we were, or if we were even going the right way anymore, we were just walking.
Some people passed, not many, it was a lazy Sunday night.
The air was dry. Even after sunset, it was eighty degrees. It'll stay that way throughout September, but at least then the leaves will change and we'll be ready for fall. I don't mind the summer, it's just been a long one.

"Okay," Morgan huffed, stomping her small foot. "you've barely talked since the show, and you won't even hold my hand?"

I tried to connect our fingers and she stared at me like I did something wrong. Damned if I do, damned if I don't.

"Unh-unh," she sassed with a disapproving shake of her head.

"What is it?" asked Morgan, reaching her hands up to square my shoulders.

Seeing the way she looked so innocently back into my eyes, I couldn't bring myself to start a fight. Besides, one wasn't warranted. So, I dropped it, my attitude. I still didn't like it, I'm not mad, but how could I argue with that face on a warm, late August night with all those stars in the sky? I figured we could just enjoy it, our time together. At least while we still have it.

BEEP! BEEP!

Bright headlights fixated on Morgan and I.

There were no trees to hide behind. We were caught.

I didn't realize who it was until Morgan started to giggle and push my forearm acting as a blanket of security from her body.

"It's just Teddy," she let me know, calming my bad nerves.

I finally breathed and waved a hand at Malcolm's security, the one who was actually a decent human and could think for himself, unlike Sage. I hate Sage.

"If it's about me saying I'm single..." Morgan's voice trailed off.

I stopped her talking anyway, I didn't want to hear that. No need.

"It doesn't matter," I assured her. "Really."

She stood on the tips of her toes and kissed my cheek.

Still on her tiptoes, Morgan's fingers fell to the chain around my neck.

She let out a breathy laugh. "You're still wearing it?"

I always wore chains, necklaces, so putting one on everyday was routine, but I really never took this one off.

Morgan settled back into her height and let out a sigh, one like she didn't really know what to say next but she talked anyway.

"I know you said it doesn't matter, well, I'm yours anyway," Morgan purred.

I know she was waiting for me to say something, but what did I say to that? I mean, I could've thought of something, but it caught me off guard. In the best way.

"Bye, Chris," she said, sauntering in the direction of Teddy's black SUV.

"Good night?" I wondered if that's what she meant.

"Yeah," she hummed, walking away backwards and managing not to trip again this time.

***

"—No I'm not doing anything," I talked on the phone.

I pushed off the dinner table, balancing on one foot of the chair like I used to do in school and would get yelled at for.

Coming back down on all fours in the seat, I listened as Morgan talked with her little voice that everyone including myself found so sweet and genuine. It was cute, like everything else.

"I've been sick all day," she complained. The sound of her voice was nasal, reflecting her words.

"Is it something you ate last night?" I referred to the appetizers she scarfed down at the drag show.

"No. I just don't feel good, my stomach," she whaled. I couldn't see her obviously, but I knew she was curled in a ball in bed or on the floor.

"I'm sorry. You gotta go to the bathroom?"

"I don't have to poop, Chris," she said low, almost sounding embarrassed.

I laughed out loud, hand on my chest. She's so funny, everyone poops.

"A-hem," my mother cleared her throat. She sat across from me, narrowed eyes on me.

"Oh, shit," I trailed off. "I'll call you back later."

With that, I hung up and looked around the room at my parents focusing their sights on me.

"Aheh," I chuckled, stabbing my fork into the medium well steak. My favorite. It's the best when drowned in A1 sauce with a side of mashed potatoes. My God.

"What?" I asked them, addressing their stares.

"We're not even supposed to have phones at the table, and you're taking phone calls?" My father criticized, his mouth full.

I let my eyes roll, tongue in my cheek, as I was hunched over my plate.

"It better have been Morgan," Mom made clear.

A smile stretched across my lip as I sat back against the wooden chair.

"It was," I grinned, popping my eyebrows.

They both looked at me with convinced smirks.

"Why don't you and her just say forget Malcolm and fall in love already?" she wanted to know.

"You know Malcolm," I grumbled, face falling back to a straight expression.

I hated bringing him up. I hated when other people brought him up. I just wanted to forget that he even existed.

"Honestly, son. As much as I like Morgan, I'm sorry, I can't say I wholeheartedly support you two being together under these circumstances," my father went on.

I looked at him blankly.

"Yeah, well, we're not together, so. She made that very clear," I faltered, throwing my silver fork down onto the plate.

Mom released a quick gasp and asked a million and one questions about what happened from the time she left us to now. The answer is nothing. I mean, reality settling in, I suppose.

When my phone rang again, I almost didn't answer it, but I looked just in case it was Morgan, or JB.

Mom's eyes burned on me so I mouthed a "sorry" just to get her off my case for a minute.

Fuck. It was Malcolm.

I hovered my thumb over the screen before accepting the call.

As soon as he hit me with the "Chris, my boy," I regretted answering.

I tried to not saying anything or react a certain type of way, so they wouldn't know it was Malcolm, but it was hard to not scowl or cringe when he talked.

"How fast can you get over here?" He wondered. "I need you. Thanks."

*

Teddy let me inside of the house that I hadn't stepped foot in in some weeks now. I didn't miss much.

We slid palms and then he walked me to Malcolm's study.

"She hasn't been feeling good, barely seen her all day," Teddy quietly let me know before he opened the doors.

I made a mental note to check on her later if I could. For now, I had to see what this bozo wanted.

I walked in, slowly, with some caution.

I hate the way a woman of all things came in between my "Godfather" and I, but it was only a matter of time before I realized how lame he was - how cancerous he was.

I hate that we're in competition, but I've always felt that way with him. Even in high school, he'd take me out to places someone my age didn't belong but I just wanted to seem mature and prove myself, and Malcolm wanted to show me off. If a waitress would service me first or be a little more nice to me than Malcolm, he'd demand someone else wait on us.

One time he invited one of his exes to stay with him. He hadn't met her before, they only talked briefly online and when she arrived, she thought she was going to be with me. I mean, that's his fault for describing himself as: athletically-built, tanned skinned, with long, healthy hair and honest eyes.

Another time, he called a girl he'd been dealing with over for a threesome and told her to bring a friend, but they didn't know that. I was just on my way out when the friend saw me and asked if I was going to be "taking care of" her. Yeah, Malcolm didn't like that too much.

I got a Dodge Durango, he bought two newer SUVs.

I moved into an industrial loft, he bought a warehouse.

I bought tickets to a hockey game, he sat in the skybox.

"Chris!" Malcolm exclaimed, practically bursting from his seat.

I waited until I was at his desk to speak.

"What do you want, man?" I asked him, bored already.

"Right to it, eh? Alright. Cigar?" He offered, snapping his fingers for Sage.

Sage growled as he presented me with cigars.

I just looked at him, waiting for him to get out of my face so that his master and I could have a word.

"Chris," Malcolm sighed shakily, easing back into the chair. He scooted up to the desk and removed the cigar from between his teeth.

"Uh," he cracked a laugh. "you gotta stop harassing my best guys. I don't have many people working for me anymore and they had some good shit, bringing in a lot of money. Tsk tsk. If I didn't know any better I'd say you were trying to be like the rest of those Penshaw fuckers and run me out of business."

What the fuck is he talking about?

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I asked out loud.

Malcolm locked his fingers over the desk and then scratched the side of his nose with his thumbnail. It's like he didn't know what to do with himself, couldn't sit still, he was so fidgety.

"Rodney? David? AJ? They're all scared of you. Quit on me," he stated.

First, I felt a sense of power, proud of the fact that those guys quit on him on account of me. I always knew Rodney was scared, no matter how much shit he talked. David was a shock, I just saw him with a whole family, but I guess he needs to provide for them. And Adriel, he's a non-factor.

While I processed this, I caught the end of Malcolm ordering Sage to do something.

"I-" I started to talk but Malcolm put his finger up, signaling me to wait.

"I'm not going to keep telling you to stop putting your hands on me!" I heard Morgan fussing at Sage when they entered the study.

I turned in the seat, trying to mind my staring but I couldn't help it.

She didn't look as awful as she felt, but she couldn't look bad even on an off day.

Her hair was flat and messy, and she didn't bother matching her ankle socks, but that's only because she was under the weather and never cared about what Malcolm thought of her appearance around the house.

Once she pulled away from Sage, she addressed Malcolm, and didn't hide her attitude about it either.

"What?" She barked, arms folded.

The look he gave— like he was fed up but would deal with her later— I didn't like it.

Malcolm's darkened eyes peered through Morgan who was standing over him, looking ready to go.

"I need that five thousand I just gave you back. You got it?" He asked her, waving his wrist in a rushing motion.

She dropped her arms from across her chest and let out this groan like this wasn't the first time he'd ask something like that. "Sure, Malcolm," she mewled, switching dominant legs as she impatiently remained standing there.

"And the BMW, hope you're not attached to it, that's going too," he added.

Not the BMW, even I love that car, how's he just going to take it away? Maybe she got in trouble? Ugh, trouble, like she's his damn kid or something.

I watched Morgan's lips part as if she was going to argue but she walked away instead, leaving me confused. Why is he taking back money he gave her? And the car?

And on her way out, Morgan hardly looked at me, just one quick glance, but it was just that: quick.

Before the door pulled open, letting the hallway light into the red, dim room, Malcolm called her name.

I watched her shoulders raise in a deep inhale before she turned around again.

"That diamond watch I gave you? I need that too, cost a little more than a lot. Where is it?" He asked, jotting something down on the back of a receipt.

"I lost it," Morgan made up.

"You lost a six-thousand dollar custom watch?!" Malcolm raised onto his feet and spiked the volume of his voice, absolutely furious.

She stood there, staring blankly from the head of the room.

"Get her out of my sight," Malcolm exhaled, flailing his arms.

Teddy moved first and pushed Morgan out of the room.

"Move," he grunted, forcing her away. I knew it was just an act, though, he's soft for Morgan hence his "Teddy bear" nickname.

"Stupid bitch," Malcolm roared, banging his hand on the surface of the desk. "can't do anything right. Can't even make love to me."

You know how it feels when you're super drunk and you finally go take a piss? You just let it out and it feels so good, the relief? That's how I felt when I heard that. I could've literally jumped for fucking joy.

This whole time it's been in the back of my mind, that he'd eventually lie down with her, but nope. I knew she wouldn't do it, I knew she wouldn't let him put a finger on her.

I need to drink to that, I thought in my head. I got up and walked to the bar cart where I eyed some Jack and cracked it open.

"Can fake an orgasm though. Pfft," Malcolm grumbled, causing Sage to release a hardy laugh from his throat.

The earth rotates once every 23 hours, 56 minutes and 4.09053 seconds. The surface of the earth at the equator moves at a speed of 460 meters per second--or roughly 1,000 miles per hour. But I swear to God it stopped on its axis at that very second.

Surely I couldn't have heard that right. . .

I mean, to know she faked it, he would've had to— no. No. Hell no.

The cap dropped from my fingertips and I stumbled back into the chair.

"S-she what?" I cleared my throat.

I wanted to smack the smirk off of Malcolm's face that followed.
"Haven't cracked her yet, fully anyway. I'm sure she's a good lay, I've only eaten her pussy. Don't get me wrong, she's damn tasty. Tempting, but I've been busy with that bitch from the game remember, with the hips? 'Member her? Yeah, she's married but we meet in aspen usually on the weekends, or whenever I feel like it. She's expensive too, that's why I'm going broke now! Haha. I can't keep spending my money on these women: my worst habit, know what I mean? Chris, did I lose you? Chris?"