"Mislaid flame of tender emotions rekindled.
Together we live to the point of tears, I wouldn't want it any other way"

Morgan Ann Bennett

M&M Wedding Counter: 0️⃣3️⃣ days

How could he? How could Chris show up and think his beautiful fucking face would heal everything that's transpired the past few months. It's beyond him leaving me, too. The way he told me I was acting like a cunt because I wouldn't please him after my niece and sister died. The way he went out with another girl when we had one fight. Or how about the way he couldn't even stand to look at me because his goddamn uncle went down on ME. "Disgusted" I believe that's the word he used. God forbid I breathe too hard and he's crying, treating me like a witch in 1692 Salem.

I should hate him. I really should. In fact I'm lying to the both of us by not hating him like I said I would.

That painful memory of him turning his back to me and getting on that plane burned. If you asked me years ago about love and heartbreak, I would tell you it's silly and to get over it. Ask me that now, my answer: an unfortunate, unexpected ending to a real, true love that you thought would last forever hurts like hell. I wouldn't wish these desperate emotions, confused feelings, and insufferable pain on anyone right now.

"Congratulations." That damn word was uttered to me for the umpteenth time in the night.

I was sucked out of my head and it was probably for the best, all the worrying was causing wrinkles.

I swallowed and tried my hardest to smile at Mrs.Turner as she was swept away by her husband to speak to their other associates also in attendance.

"I can't get over how ravishing you look tonight, darling." Malcolm grabbed me by the waist.

"Good call on the all white, we look Godly." He kept talking and I only listened.

When I sighed, he surprised me by asking what's wrong.

"Nothing, I was just expecting— MARY!" I screamed her name. As if she could hear me about to complain about her not being there, Mary appeared.

She was alone, though. I dropped my head, disappointed in believing Carter would show for the hell of it. Truth is, he couldn't stand me, or so that's how it seemed.

"Carter sends his love," Mary said as if she could read my mind for a second time. "It's not you, it's him."

Just as Mary alluded to her old friend, Malcom pushed me out of the way to welcome her not so warmly.

"Mar', you made it. How you got an invite, I'm not sure, but here you are." He clasped his hands together and gritted his porcelain veneers.

I didn't mention then that I invited her. It was my wedding, too, and she was someone I needed here.

Mary's smile was plastic but a smile back at him nonetheless.

"The place looks so beautiful. It's been a while since I've spent a night at The Sinclair." Mary complimented me as she looped her arm with mine. We casually sauntered away from Malcolm the second he engaged in conversation with the hotel manager, asking yet again if everything was okay.

I put my head on Mary's since I was taller than her even with her high heels on.

"Thanks, Fidelity did it."

Mary turned her face up. "I thought their business ended after the founder, Sydney, went batshit?"

I shook my head, unfamiliar with the story.

"She and her psycho boyfriend, Will, were modern day Bonnie and Clyde? Ran away to Paris and then turned themselves in? Nevermind." She explained but dropped it when it wasn't ringing any bells to me.

"You don't think it's too much?" I prepared myself for her reply.

She giggled softly, rubbing the back of my hand. "I do, but you are a princess and, it's Malcolm we're talking about. I just can't imagine what the actual wedding will look like, then."

I had to laugh, she's right.

"There you are, we've been trying to find you all night!" My mom made her presence known. She didn't mean to but I think she made the night all about herself.

"Mary, hi!" They kissed cheeks.

My dad followed, bringing me in for a hug. I needed his hug, just made me feel like a little girl again.

"Cheer up, kiddo." He tried to make me feel better.

"How can I, Dad?" I sulked, whispering in case Malcolm had ears around.

Mom pouted at me. "I know it's not what you pictured, but this is dinner is for you, you shouldn't be frowning. You'll get wrinkles."

The wrinkles, see!

I straightened my posture and then scanned the room.

"Who are you looking for?" Dad wondered, putting me on blast.

All six eyes shifted to me and I swallowed hard, thinking up a lie.

"Um, Jasmine. Excuse me." I awkwardly made up, clicking away in my red bottoms to locate my best friend.

The search for Jas was short, she was like a fly in milk, I hate to see it. Her and Jabari stood out like a sore thumb as Malcolm "didn't have many friends of color." His words not mine.

I found the couple at their designated table and couldn't be more relieved to be around normal people.

While Jabari wasn't my favorite person at the time, I was happy to see him, too.

"I'm sorry, Morgan." He randomly blurted.

I eyed Jasmine who just waved her wrist to let me know to wait for the rest.

Jabari cleared his throat but his voice was still scratchy like a long term cigarette smoker because that's just how his voice naturally is.

"But if you're happy, I'm happy. Congratulations." He added, earning a smack from Jasmine.

"She's not happy, asshole! That's the whole point. What the fuck." She snapped on him.

Jasmine shook her head, balls of her fingers to her temples. "I'm sorry, sis."

"I have to go greet some more guests. Enjoy the food, guys. Excuse me." My voice cracked as I tried not to cry but felt it coming on.

I smoothed out my white dress and maintained my appearance as I pushed through a sea of people I didn't even know.
The dress was long sleeve with a plunging neckline, the asymmetrical hem was decorated with tassels and had a drape detail. Nude strappy heels and vintage earrings made the look. I let Jasmine give me a bronzed makeup look and brush my hair back into a sleek low no part bun for a change.

This party was solely for Malcolm to show off and gather his colleagues at this hotel where he "got the hook-up because he's good friends with the owner."
No lie, it was a fine establishment. I'd heard of it, never actually stepped foot inside of one. Growing up, I thought hotel chains like The Hilton and Hyatt were top notch, but this was probably a step up from The Ritz, even.
Still, a bit too much for a pre-wedding dinner, I think; we could've done this at his house.

There was one invitation, though, I was curious about - Chris. He mentioned he got an invite but I wouldn't have done that, it's torture. Also, I can't imagine anyone else we know extending one because that's just disrespectful. Either way, he obviously wasn't showing.

"Psst." A sudden whisper made me correct my stance and be alert.

Who the fuck was whispering at me from the dark corners of the ballroom?

I followed the sounds outside of the ballroom and found Chris offering a flower. Like, really, one flower.

"It's a lotus flower," he clarified. "For strength, purity, rebirth. And because you like pink."

I wiped the smile off my red face the second I realized I was doing so.

"Chris, you shouldn't be here." I whisper-yelled at him.

"Why not, I was invited?"

I shook my head, still not understand that. "Think about it, by who?"

He furrowed his eyebrows. After giving it a think, Chris hit the wall.

I jumped at his sudden rage, but it was understandable.

"Malcolm." He hissed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

I nodded with the same assumption.

"I'm sorry." I murmured, looking up at him as he paced in his suit. I gotta give it to him, I'm surprised he bothered to show up at all let alone in dress code.

He ripped the hand from his face and looked at me with some audacity. "Sorry you're marrying him or sorry I was set up?"

I couldn't stand to have him talk to me like that. I felt bad, I did, but this wasn't the time or place.

"Can we have the bride come and say a few words?" Malcolm's supposed best man, Tim, announced over the mic.

Chris scoffed, flailing his arms. He angrily loosened his tie and resumed pacing.

I see not everything changed since the move to New York, Chris is still temperamental as always.

"Don't make me do this. Not now." I gritted, storming back to the party.

When I looked back over my shoulder with a new feeling of regret, Chris wasn't there for me to send him a reassuring, apologetic look to him.

I just hope he knows this is hard for me, too, probably harder, I thought.

My eyes readjusted to the black and purple lights illuminating the space as I walked behind several seats.

Like a dummy or complete brave trooper, I found my seat at the head of the table beside Malcolm's throne — yes, he got an actual throne— and immediately locked eyes with Mary, hoping she could give me some guidance here, some strength.

Tim, the random man who often buys weed from Malcolm and was for some reason deemed his best man, reminded me to give a speech.

If I pull this off, I'll be attending the next Emmy awards, let me tell you that.

My chest inflated and deflated faster and faster. The lights started to burn and I got freaked out by the concerning amount of pupils focused on me.

Malcolm's hand smooth down my back until he sunk his nails into my flesh and I trembled at the pain, having to be discrete since I knew that was just the warning.

"Um," I started. His hands dropped my from skin and I would've felt relieved if I weren't still on the chopping block.

"I want to thank all of you for coming tonight on such short notice. I'm sure this was quite the surprise... it was to me, too. Aheh." I laughed awkwardly and got a few chuckles from the group.

When Malcolm didn't speak up, I figured that meant to continue so I did.

"People say they feel like they've known each other forever when they're in love. Well, I feel like I've only known Malcolm for such a short amount of time, but it does seem like I've seen him somewhere before. Perhaps in another life, or a nightmare." The crowd's laughter picked up.

I looked down at my toes and then blinked as I tried to think up more words.

"That's all I have to say." I relented.

Malcolm took the chance to say some words. "In just a few days you'll all witness my dreams come true. Morgan has made my life all the more interesting and has been a strong woman ever since."

The second he turned his face to see mine, I threw on a small, humble smile.

He pulled me in by the waist and I giggled only because it caught me by surprise.

As he went on to ramble some more, just like the sound of his own modulated voice, my eyes wandered to the hallway where I kind of hoped Chris would still be. He wasn't.

"—Now let's party!" Malcolm concluded his speech, half of which I zoned out for.

The lot cheered and took to the dance floor under the hypnosis of DJ Skies mix.

"Morgan, sweetie, my head is killing me. We're going to call it a night, okay?" Mom kissed my head.

Dad gave me a hug and wished me a good night.

"Get home safe." I told them.

Mary waited until they left my presence to speak to me next.

"I'm going to go, too," she said to me. "but can you come get your gift out of the car."

"My gift? You didn't have to get me anything."

She winked. "I didn't."

Curious, I stepped away with her and expected the opposite of a gift but a surprise all the same.

Once in the parking lot of The Sinclair, I found Chris under the stars at his truck.

My lips popped when I opened them to object. "Of course."

Mary nudged me. "If it counts for anything, I still care about you — both of you— and I did see you in a wedding dress, just with a different groom."

I put my hands on my hips and stared down at the ground.

Mary stepped close to me and whispered in my ear, "Please hear him out. You both need this. I know you're risking a lot being out here, but this could be it for you too. And don't give me that look, if it were the other way around, you'd be asking me to help you ambush Chris, too."

I fixed the very face she claimed I was making and adjusted my demeanor. I only was coming off so cold, well because I was, it's freezing out.

"Night, you two." She wished Chris and I before getting into her SUV and driving off in the next minute.

"Night." Chris's husky voice would've done things to me if I let it. Okay, it did, but I wasn't going to show that.

"I think we need to talk."

"What are you trying to do to me?" I asked all in one breath.

"Right now I'm trying to talk. After that, if it goes well, I'm trying to fuck you, honestly."

"Have you— have you been drinking?" I looked more closely at his face. His eyes were low and the closer I got the more I could smell the burn of dark liquor - Jack Daniels, to be specific, his favorite.

His mannerisms were more animated than usual, also. He kind of moved, talked with his hands, rather, like he couldn't control it. He wasn't sloppy or belligerent, just obviously had more than his usual two-three drinks.

"Wouldn't you be?" He asked, eyes dropping to me at the last second. "I found out the girl I love is getting married— to my uncle, mind you— and the asshole sent me an invitation."

He started to laugh out loud and leaned into my body.

"Morgan, I'm— I'm fuckin' losin' it here."

"Chris, you're drunk. Let's talk about this in the morning-"

"Come with me." He grabbed my hand almost desperately.

My mouth was agape as I stared into his eyes. "What? Now?"

"Yeah. I need you, and you don't need to be in there. With him."

I shook my head, head spinning. "Okay, Christopher, how do you suggest I escape my own party?"

He rolled his neck and frowned. "It's barely your party."

"Whatever it is, I have to get back before someone notices-"

Chris wouldn't let my hand go. His was warm and made mine look far smaller in comparison which it was, but I think his hands are just big not that mine are unusually tiny.

"Give him these." Chris presented me with a prescribed bottle of pills.

There were only a few left and I read that they were Malcolm's.

"What are these? H-how did you get this? X?" I wondered.

Chris nodded. "He's cool. He's no Teddy, but."

I had to be getting pranked.

"I think there was gasoline in your drink tonight, is your brain leaking? I'm not going to drug him, he just had an overdose."

"That was months ago, for one," Chris spoke suddenly so clearly. "And I don't give a fuck, they're his."

I chewed my lip at this dilemma.

No, I didn't want to slip the drugs into his drink, but Malcolm was probably going to end the night having popped a couple anyway. Besides, he's not a good person to me, and this way I'll be able to sneak away with Chris for the night and hopefully get some closure.

"You won't judge me for this?" I snarled but was half serious.

Chris straightened his face. With the smack of his lips, he said, "It was my idea. Now go, Izzy and Lee are waiting."

"Izzy and Lee?!" I grew excited at just the mention of my (his) old friends.

Without another word, I scurried inside and asked the bartender for a Negroni since Malcolm had two already, he liked them.

"There you are. Congratulations again, you look beautiful." She said to me.

I flashed a bright smile that went away the second I turned my back to the bar.

If I hear that goddamn word one more time. It's the equivalent of "sorry" to me at this point.

I stopped in a far corner where no one was within a few feet and turned into fucking Jeffrey Dahmer.

Ooh, I hate that I don't hate that I'm doing this, I fretted as I stirred the poison.

Am I a bad person? No, right? He basically fucking deserves this. Yeah. Besides, I'm not gonna kill him; I just need him sleep for a while. Everyone else here is already shitfaced, high from Malcom's weed, or coked up. And with Sage out of town, running from the law, what better time to be devious than now?

"Hi, honey." I smooth-talked Malcolm at his throne.

"Darling, where were you? I made a toast."

I smiled innocently. "I was getting you a drink and getting to know more of your friends, if that's okay?"

He pulled me onto his lap and I had to internally battle with myself and win to not scream and launch myself feet in the air.

"Of course that's okay. Hey, what's mine is yours." He cracked up, taking a swallow of the drink. In one more swallow, it was finished.

"Woo!" He exclaimed at the headrush from chugging. "Come, darling, let's dance. I remember you liking to do that."

I let him swing me around and dip me in the middle of the dance floor for a couple of songs before he started to feel dizzy and visibly look unwell.

"Are you okay, honey?" I hoped the pet name honey would annoy him as much as darling has rubbed me the wrong way. It's a trigger word to me now, really.

"Darling, fetch X for me, I think I-I'm going to-" he passed out mid-sentence. I couldn't be happier.

Jesus Christ, who am I?

Malcolm only stumbled but someone caught him - Tim, actually.

Some "ooh's" and "ahh's" stirred but ultimately, everyone just waved it off as he had too much to drink and he did.

X ran over, asking me what happened, if Malcolm needed to go home.

"Yeah, probably. I'll stay, we rented the space for so many hours, I'd hate to waste that money and everyone's time." I fabricated.

X nodded, understanding. "I'll keep an eye on him."

"Please make sure he gets his rest, at least eight hours."

X said, "I'll give him a couple of those pills, he won't wake up 'til late tomorrow morning, but he needs the rest. So do you and I."

"You couldn't be more right."

"Night, Morgan. I'm just a call away. Is, uh, Jasmine gonna bring you home?"

I slowly nodded my head. "Yeah, Jasmine, sure. Good night!"

That said, I waited until I watched X throw Malcolm's sweaty body in the backseat of the blacked out SUV and drive off.

Now the real party could start...

I took a shot... or two and then skipped outside to Jasmine and JB who were entertaining Chris while he waited for the job to done.

"I didn't think you'd do it." Chris admitted, looking me up and down.

"Adding trust issues to the list of things we need to talk about." I remarked, arms folded across my cold chest.

He rolled his eyes and that's when Jas stepped in, noticing the tension.

"We all know y'all are just going to end up fucking later, let's at least get to Izzy and Lee before the foreplay?" She rushed, head poking out of the backseat window of Precious - Chris's truck AKA Lenny. Okay, I do like Precious more.

~~~

"—Mount Rushmore was so underwhelming." Izzy told us all about her and Lee's travels.

"Well duh, it's a bunch of dead white men carved into a goddamn mountain, what did you expect? Them to sing?" Jasmine cracked, making us laugh.

We sat around a camp fire at Lee's timeshare cabin in the woods. They were back visiting as soon as they heard the news I was getting married. Ugh, I hate to say that.

Chris, JB, Jas, and myself all wound down, getting into some more comfortable clothes - pajamas, really. I stripped off my makeup and released my hair from that damn ballerina bun Jasmine gave me. My hair was a mess but I didn't care, my outfit was, too, and that was okay because it was all family around. Plus, they looked really shitty too after two in the morning.

"Where else did you go?" I asked, eyes lit with wonder.

"All over the place. Oh, we fucked in Egypt, right? This tour guide finds us and starts to cry..." Izzy told.

"Cry?" JB questioned.

Lee nodded, finishing his third beer. "Yeah, apparently we disrespected and old burial ground. Totally worth it."

JB dapped him up for that which Jasmine slapped him for and I laughed.

"That's so cool, I'm really happy for you guys." I let out, hugging Izzy's thin body.

"I'm really happy for you guys, too. I mean, I thought JB and Jas would get married first, but congrats, Chris and Mo'." Izzy was oblivious.

Chris got up from the fire and went inside, letting the door slam after him.

"What?" Izzy wondered what she did wrong.

"Morgan's not marrying Chris." Jasmine broke the news.

Lee sunk in his seat like if he made himself smaller I wouldn't see him any longer. I wish that worked, I'd do the same thing right now and disappear.

"Oh. I- sorry." Izzy uttered sheepishly, roasting her marshmallow.

I didn't even bother giving the same ole' "it's okay" or "you're good" excuses because it wasn't good or okay. Far from it, actually.
So, I followed Chris inside.

He sat at the edge of the bed in the room designated for us for the one night.

"Can we talk now?" I asked, back against the closed bedroom door.

"Nah."

"I think I'm owed that, Chris." My voice raised as I walked further inside, anger-fueled.

He stood and I immediately recoiled with intimidation.

"I found out the baby wasn't mine, you're getting married to my fucking uncle, and he forced himself on you somehow. So, it's a lot, alright?! I'm fucked up right now but I'm— I'm tryna be here for you. Morgan, I know it's a lot on your plate, too and I wasn't there, but I'm here now and all I wanna do is hold you for the next forty-eight hours before you give yourself away to him. Can you let me do that, or, at least for the next eight hours?" He roared and flailed his arms, seeing the time.

I laughed because he was adamant about his eight hours of sleep, drunk or not.

I swallowed, approaching the bed.

"Then we can argue after that?" I humored Chris.

"Yeah, asshole," he chuckled, hitting my head with a pretty hard pillow, "then we can argue."

He has a thing with hitting me in the head, it's a conspiracy at this point.

But when he laughed, so did I. It was nice hearing that throaty chuckle again, it was always some sort of remedy when I felt down. That smile, his laugh, could clear a sky and cure all of my upsets.

I climbed into the bed and instinctively put my leg on Chris, my hand on head on his chest.

I could tell his eyes were shut just that face, he's like an old man in that way once he gets comfortable.

"Don't worry," he rasped. "I'm not gonna try to fuck you, I'm just happy to be around you."

Hey God, if you were ever going to take me, do it now, let me go out happy, I prayed.

Chris kissed the top of my head and then squeezed my body tightly like he made a mission to not let me go. That familiar feeling of security lowered my heart rate and I felt my eyelids getting heavy.

"I love you..." was the last thing he said before we both fell fast asleep.