"Lovers in love and the other's run away. Lover is crying 'cause the other won't stay"

Morgan Ann Bennett

M&M wedding countdown: 0️⃣4️⃣ days

It wasn't all bad, you know? With Malcolm, I mean. He's a horrible person, but since the engagement he's faked this halo over his head. I couldn't put my finger on why he was being so nice, perhaps because I was promised his fortune shall he abuse me, cheat, or die?

Anyway, my life was far from perfect, but I was sitting pretty at this dress fitting.

Malcolm allowed Jas to be by my side throughout this process. She didn't approve of Malcolm nor my agreement to marry him, though. It was hard for her to understand. Hell, it's still hard for me to understand. I just boiled it down to I was damned if I do, damned if I don't. That seemed to be a common theme since my move to Penshaw.
Besides, what do I have to lose?

"Oh!" A gasp made me pick my head up as I exited the changing room.

A smile spread across my face seeing Malcolm and Jasmine's speechless reactions.

The designer gown was something out of a movie or royal ceremony. I couldn't believe something so elegant was on my body. I didn't even look like myself, a lower middle class waitress from Arizona.

The crystals vined down the sheer long sleeves of the gown and danced over the bodice and train. I appreciated the design around the collar so I wouldn't have to wear many accessories as the beading on the gown was enough. It just wore so majestically and moved or swayed on it's own, making me look as if I was floating.

"Beautiful, darling." Malcolm complimented, standing for a better look.

I blushed but not because of him. "I look like a Princess."

"No, a queen. And you are." Jasmine cut in.

"Jas, stop, I'm going to cry." I blinked to fight off the tears. I am a crier but my emotions were so high since everything, I couldn't help it.

Jasmine put her champagne glass down and gave my body a squeeze but only briefly to not dirty up the gown. Lord knows Malcolm would've had a fit and reminded everyone how much the dress he picked costs.

"I'm sorry. Sorry," she apologized with a sniffle. "It's just that... I've been dropping hints to JB that I want to get married one day."

"And what did he say?" I was so interested I sat in the dress to listen.

She sighed deeply. "He says we have other things to worry about."

I slouched, saddened by her words.

"So tell him! No more hints, just tell him you're ready now. You're basically married now anyway." I squeezed her shoulders and stared into the browns of her eyes.

She looked unsure, dropping eye contact. "I know we love each other but it's just not our time. He's probably in New York right now not even thinking about me."

I hated how little she trusted him. It hurt me to see the way she longed for a fairytale ending of her own and felt she couldn't get one.

"Wait— New York?" I whispered to her to not raise Malcolm's suspicions.

Jasmine tightened her glossed lips and winced like she knew she made a mistake which I made sure to note.

"Damn it," she cursed under her breath but I heard. "He, um, snuck off to go see Christina, his aunt, in Harlem."

"His aunt?" I demurred.

"Yeah." Jasmine answered quickly. Too quickly.

"In New York?"

Jasmine's gulp was loud. "Mhm. Well, Harlem." She emphasized.

I didn't believe her, how could I? No way would JB randomly go to New York and not see his best friend.

I had a lot more questions but Malcolm decided to give me attention again so I couldn't press Jas about it anymore.

"Darling, turn, let me see the back of the dress." Malcolm instructed, stroking his chin.

I narrowed my eyes in thought when he could no longer see my face.

So Jabari went to New York? Had I known I would've snuck off with him. Then again, if Chris wanted me back by now, I'm sure he would've made more of an effort.
What was just hope turned into despair. I sunk deeper into my feelings and remembered heartbreak. It was time to take my own advice. Chris wasn't coming for me like a knight in shining armor. This is my life now.

I pushed any and all thoughts of my ex to the back of my head and let myself enjoy the light champagne-colored lace gown while I could before having to take it off.

"Boss," Sage cut in. "the phone."

Jasmine and I watched Malcolm follow Sage out of the room and we could finally relax.

I studied her face. She didn't have her usual eyebrow raised or lips puckered, I could tell something was wrong.

"Talk to me." I urged, offering her another glass since hers was empty.

Jasmine pushed out a sigh, one that said she was stressing.

"JB and I have been on-and-off for two years. This is the longest we've been committed to each other, and it's going well, but I'm ready to take the next step. It sucks seeing your best friend get married and you're not. I don't want to just to be the bridesmaid, Mo."

I smiled to make her feel better. "Hey, you're not a bridesmaid. You're the maid of honor."

Jasmine snorted from laughing and that made me crack up. Her laughter warmed my heart.

"Your time is coming. At least when you get married it'll be for love." My eyes drifted from her gaze as my voice trailed off.

"Oh." Jasmine gasped, hand to her mouth with regret. "I'm sorry. I didn't-"

"It's fine." I said. That was a lie.

I swallowed down my emotions, not wanting to cry and make this about me and my unfortunate fate with Malcolm.

Once she turned her thick lips up, though, I batted my eyelashes at Jasmine and tried to put on a brave face.

"Can you help me get out of this dress, please?" I asked to change the topic of conversation.

Jasmine stood with no hesitation to assist me like the good friend she is.

I held the bustier, anticipating my breasts spilling out once she undid the back, and stared at my reflection.

What a sad girl, participating in what's supposed to be a sacred ceremony binding two lovers for life. And for what? Out of fear? Because, like I said, this was no longer about money.

I hated that all the fight in my body slithered away. I hated that I lost hope and couldn't even allow myself to dream about a better future for myself.

The sad fact is this is what I deserved.

~~~

Malcolm had business to tend to so Jasmine and I had the day to ourselves. We planned on a full girls day of shopping, hair and nails, then Pilates.

Back in familiar territory though, I looked to my left and watched X slowly drive by The Q.
Since the restaurant opened it's been a huge success, one that Malcolm likes to leave me out of. Mary gives me updates since I invested my own money in the joint, as well. I trusted they'd do great things there and make my Quinn and Callie proud. They enlisted the help of Dale for his great cooking skills and some other locals in need of a job. The people of Penshaw quickly became regulars, it was unbelievable. Other than that, at night, I heard the place was a total rager. No one could tell me for sure what was going on once the day shift ended but whatever it was, was making Malcolm a lot of money.
That's the thing, though, Mary filled me in on how as of late, Penshaw had become an after hours town. With the crime rate going up, an increase on drug overdoses, escorts, and gang violence, it was getting out of hand. Meeting after meeting, the town still rallied to find solutions, but there were none. Or at least not many logical, legal ones. And, of course, it always came back to Malcolm. Though the citizens were outraged, they kept supporting The Q and therefore, Malcolm. The town hadn't had a decent dine-in restaurant in forever, so The Q was a sign of changing times which eased their desperation to finally get this little historic mountain town up to date. It's sad, really.

Fading out of my thoughts, I sat back in the seat and felt bad for myself, missing The Q and being a part of something.

Jasmine must've seen the longing look on my face.

"Actually," she spoke up, "I'm craving those shrimp tacos..."

I snapped my neck at her with a sharp intake of breath, wondering what exactly she was doing.

She subtly winked at me. "I can practically smell them, oh my God!"

"Yeah. I could definitely go for some of Dale's famous chicken and waffles, with the Mac-and-cheese. Or— what was it you had last time X? Jerk chicken? Ooo, that was so good. Oh, but that was, like, a month ago, right? You probably don't want it." I shook my head, settling back in the seat.

I peeked into the rear view mirror and noticed Jasmine still smirking because she could tell our plan to entice Malcolm's driver was working.

X instantly took a sharp left and pulled into the parking lot, leaving Jas and I glued to the assist grips on the roof of the SUV, and happy we wore seatbelts.

The place was busy by midday restaurant standards but not busy for The Q, given all the business they'd seen since the grand opening.

X was the first one out of the truck, leaving Jas and I behind a second to celebrate our masterminding with girlish squeals and a handshake.

"Hello, welcome to The— oh. It's just you. Hey, Morgan." Jack greeted me once I walked inside first.

I smiled at him big. It was still funny seeing him in the all black uniform when I was used to him in basketball shorts and a game controller in hand.

Walking further inside, I just laughed at Kailyn's brother who gained employment at The Q since Mary and Carter suggested he get a job and learn responsibility if he's going to continue living with them full time.

"Thanks, Jackie." I replied, taking a menu from his pale hands even though I was already ninety percent sure what I wanted as were Jasmine and X.

X sat in the VIP booth, though, taking advantage since his master was out of town. He called it "overseeing the perimeter" but it's really just a mouse playing while the cat's away. I knew about that all too well.

"Hey, guys. Two waters? One with lemon, the other with no ice?" Our waitress, Margaret, asked.

"You got it." Jasmine responded to our waitress without even making eye contact.

I looked up at Margaret in a good mood and asked for Mary.

"She's dealing with some family stuff at home, actually." Margaret let me know.

"Family stuff?" I mumbled to myself with worry.

I shook my head and disassociated for a second to think.

What family problems could she have? I grew concerned, thinking it could be Carter again - a relapse. Or perhaps it was Chris, something could've happened? Not like I'd know anything about him.

"So, do you want any toast or anything to start off with?" Asked Margaret.

"Yes, actually. I'll do-" Jasmine spoke but I cut her off.

"I'm sorry," my eyes flickered, mouth agape. "family problems? W-what kind of family problems, is she okay?"

"Not sure, she and Carter just said they weren't coming in today. Now, about that toast?" She became impatient, flipping a page on her notepad.

"Toast is fine. Thanks." I snapped at her sudden tone, my eyes still spaced out.

Jasmine huffed once Margaret walked off to get those waters and the toast. "Rude. She is so not getting a tip."

"Jas," I exhaled. "where did you say Jabari is?"

"New York - Harlem." I found it off she kept emphasizing the fact that he's in Harlem.

I nodded slowly just once. "That's right, Harlem. Hm. Did he mention going to visit his best friend, maybe?"

Jasmine rolled her dark brown eyes at me. "I don't know. No. Why?"

I raised my shoulders with a sarcastic frown. "I'd just think he'd go see him while he's in New York."

"Harlem is, like, an hour away from Port Ember-"

"Forty-five minutes actually." I said, sitting back with my legs and arms crossed.

"Ask me how I know that."

Jasmine leaned in. "How do you know that-"

"I looked up every major city in New York surrounding Port Ember that had construction companies. Most of them were around forty to fifty minutes away."

"Like I said, about an hour away." Jasmine rubbed the back of her neck. She felt uncomfortable. Concerned, worried or nervous. Point being, she was hiding something.

I cleared my throat then relaxed my arms and legs. "Still, he could easily go visit, though, right?"

Jasmine narrowed her eyes on me and then hung her head. "Damn it! Okay. Yes. Yes, he went to see Chris - he stayed with him."

I knew it.

I slapped my palms on the table and then rubbed them over the denim fabric covering my knees.

I rocked in the seat, eyes closed because I couldn't even look at her right now.

"How could you not tell me, Jas? Maid-of-fucking-honor, huh? What honor?" I then sealed my lips together and snatched my jacket and purse so I could leave.

"Morgan, wait!" She yelled, running after me through the restaurant.

I turned on my heels to see Jasmine's lips quivering as she stared back at me.

My anger had my body rocking side-to-side as I talked down her throat.

"I've been distraught for months over him and no one in this fucking town has cared enough to just tell me he's doing okay."

"We do care, Mo-"

"NOT ABOUT ME!" I yelled in her face.

"Clearly." I added, pacing.

Jasmine shook her head. "I'm sorry. Jabari didn't want to deal with the fall out. We all thought it would be best for you two to just stay out of it. I didn't know how you felt, Morgan, you wouldn't talk to any of us."

"I couldn't! God! You don't know what I've been through. I—" I stopped myself there.

My tense facial muscles relaxed suddenly. "Why am I explaining this to you?"

"Morgan, wait." She repeated, following me down the sidewalk.

I didn't care that it was before noon and Mary's house was miles away, that's where I was headed. If I had my phone I'd call and tell her I was on the way, but I didn't so I just walked faster.

It wasn't long before I was outside of The Vaughn's home with an angry fist at the door.

Jasmine was at the end of the sidewalk, catching her breath, while I watched her struggle from the porch.

"I don't know why you came." I scoffed at her, my arms folded.

She finally braved the three steps and stopped at my side.

"Because," she panted, "I'm your motherfucking maid-of-honor. And I care about you. And I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

I just blinked at her, not caring for this apology right now, there were bigger things at hand. My plan was to march right inside and finally demand Mary and Carter let me speak to their son. All I needed was to hear his voice, know that he's okay, and goddamn it, I needed to make sure he didn't get a puppy without me.

Jasmine put her hand on my shoulder as if for support. While I remained silent, I did smile at her this time to show my appreciation. It's clear she wasn't going anywhere. Without her or Mary, I really would have lost my mind around here.

I gulped and put my ear to the door to listen and see if they were inside as the cars in the driveway insinuated.

"Who is it?" I heard Carter's voice boom before the front door.

I covered the peephole with my two fingers so he would just open up instead of seeing it was me and act like no one was there.

"Move. I'll get it." That was Mary. She made me smile before I even laid eyes on her. I couldn't wait to show her that I was feeling and looking better lately, knowing she'd be proud.

"Who is— oh. Morgan?" The feeling of shock was clear in her pitchy tone.

"Are you okay? I came as soon as I heard." I talked, walking in with Jasmine on my trail.

I paced about in the living room and did a double take at Carter who was staring at me like I was a ghost but I kept rambling on.

"Heard what, Morgan?" Mary's regular calm voice returned.

"Heard that you guys were having family problems? That's what Margaret at The Q said. I had to come make sure you're okay. W-why are you both looking at me like that?" I stopped and touched my face and neck, feeling insecure.

Is there something on it? Do I have a booger, or something, I thought in my head. No, Jas would've told me.

I eyed the room, nothing seemed out of the ordinary except for Mary and Carter's silence for a change.

"What?" I asked again, this time a little louder.

I had spun in three circles just trying to see everyone's faces as they each occupied a different space in the house.

Suddenly, heavy footsteps trotted down the staircase, making me break my neck to see who it could be.

"Baby!" Jasmine got up and ran to her man after not seeing him for a few days.

I slouched seeing that it was only Jabari.

He too eyed me like it was such a surprise I was there looking back at him.

"But still," I said to Mary. "are you okay?"

"Are you?"

"Yeah," I breathed out. "why wouldn't I be?"

That's when I watched her eyes shift past my body and I traced her line of sight to the French doors off of the kitchen.

The doors opened and let in a ghost - the one Carter must've seen and been stuck on explaining him looking like that when I walked in because surely his presence was chilling.

So chilling, in fact, my body froze in place. I couldn't move, didn't breathe, hardly blinked.

His six-foot-two frame stood still by the door.

My eyes finally started working again and I could see my chest pumping with air after what seemed like minutes without breathing.

He dared to step closer to me in the kitchen and I was hit with the same smell that brought back so many memories. I had to wash my sheets and clothes more than once to get rid of it and still couldn't match the scent to a brand or find it anywhere in stores.

I shut my eyes and hoped when I opened them again, this would go away - that I'd wake up in bed. My bed, back in Arizona, a year ago.

"Maybe we should give them a moment?" I heard Mary's mature voice speak.

A parade of footsteps shuffled across the dark hardwood floors and that's when I finally looked up at Chris.

It was him alright. The winter had stripped him of his natural warm olive skin tone and he had longer hair that was tucked into his black hoodie. I noticed the facial hair around his mouth and growing down his chin and neck.

What I didn't notice, though, was the dead look in his eyes from months of being apart. I hated that he managed to look new, rejuvenated, and evolved while I was immediately struck with all of these emotions I tried bottling up and all the pain wore on my face.

Meanwhile, my hair wasn't done. I didn't have a fresh manicure. And on top of that, my sweater was two sizes too big.

"Hi." He said rugged. His voice was exactly as it left me, cold and on the surface, meaning nothing more by it.

I froze again. All I could do was stare and wonder what he was doing in my face again and why the first thing that came out of his mouth was "hi."

Chris stalked forward, bringing both hands back out of his hoodie.

"I, uh, knew it would be hard, but I couldn't think of anything else to say," he spat, walking around the counter. "You can imagine how shocked I was to come back and see a wedding invitation for you and that man."

He hung his head and continued to listen to himself talk since I physically couldn't. "Why are you just staring at me, can you help me out here?"

"You could've been dead for all I know, or I could've been. I haven't heard from you." I shook my head as I talked, not fully comprehending this encounter right now.

Chris immediately wore a look of frustration, but that's not surprising.

Before he could say any bullshit, I spoke up. "You left me. It's been months."

"I know." He said, clenching his jaw as he looked down at his balled fist on the island.

"That's a lot of weeks, days, hours without you. And every single second you weren't there, he was."

"Well I'm here now." Chris said confidently like that was the end all/be all.

I quickly let out a sarcastic laugh and held a grin on my face.

Then it dropped and I looked up at the beams on the ceiling, hands on my hips.

I started to cry, hyperventilating even.

"You— you fucking left me. Here. With him." I swallowed and flailed my arms.

"Oh. You know Teddy died? Yeah, Malcolm got another guard, he's tolerable, but all of this security means nothing if you weren't there. Every time he tried to—" I covered my face with my hands unable to finish that thought. My body cringed and I held onto the back of a stool for support, about to throw up all of this emotion. This anger.

I wiped my eyes furiously like the tears weren't allowed to pass my chin or else. "Fuck. You weren't there. I lost Quinn and Callie and you were all I had left. I begged you to stay. I looked you in the eyes and told you I'd hate you forever if you left. And you did anyway."

"I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry, I-" he lunged towards me to talk with my hands in his but I shuddered.

"Don't touch me!" I screamed, backing myself into cabinets in one corner.

I sniffled and ripped my eyes away from his green ones that I once called home.

"The truth is, I wanted that baby, Morgan. Not because I know I'll be a better father than mine or to one-up Malcolm, but because I knew you'd been a good mother. I was ready to take the next step with you in our relationship like a man." He proclaimed.

I shook my head, not wanting to hear this shit about a baby. A baby that wasn't even his.

"Shit," he cursed at his own confession. "After what I did to David, I got lost. Mom couldn't handle me, Dad was gone, and Malcolm encouraged my behavior. I was doing some pretty stupid shit until one night, I got in a car accident. It scared me straight, I guess, 'cause after that I just stopped and Mom got me back to myself."

"What the fuck does this have to do with me, Chris?" I roared, my glossy eyes rolling.

He put his hand up and took his time. "Dad was in and out of rehab, so Mom was depressed, and I was working with Malcolm. Everyone told me I'd turn out like him or my father, and I hated that. I hated him. Then the bed-and-breakfast took off, Mom got better, Dad came back, and you came along. I instantly knew I had to be better for you. I got my dream job - thanks to you. It just seemed like everything was looking up for me finally. Get a place, get the girl, a nice job, then what? Start a family. And we couldn't even do that." He looked me right in the eyes.

"I feel like you took that from me." Chris dropped his head and I swear I heard a sniffle.

I blinked and more tears fell.

I sealed my lips and tasted the salt of those tears.

"You know... you were so focused on hating me and being mad that you never once stopped to consider how I felt after having something vacuumed out of me." I let out, eyes settling on his face.

Chris's eyes went wide at the realization. He pushed off the counter and tried getting close to my body again but I put my hand out. I knew if got a hold of me and I melted into his arms I would've just taken him back right there.

"I'm sorry," he lamented. "You're right. I can't imagine what that was like-"

"It won't change anything now but it was never your baby. Your mother knew that. I would've told you that day if you hadn't said what you said. I guess this way was much easier because I can't imagine the disgusted look you would've given me if I told you. So I'm going to go now before you make it." I walked under his body and grabbed my purse off of the couch on my way out.

"What?" Chris hissed.

I turned at the door and watched his face distort.

"I think the worst part is I know you're going to judge me for this but I still don't even know how or when Malcolm touched me to have gotten me pregnant."

He remained there with this sour look on his face like he was trying to calculate when, how, and why this happened.

"That face," I stressed. "That's the face I was talking about."

"Morgan," he called out, lunging towards me as I crossed the threshold. "Wait!" He yelled all too late, I was already outside and slammed the door so he hopefully wouldn't follow.