"Until this moment, I had not realized that someone could break your heart twice, along the very same fault lines."

Chris Omar Vaughn

"S-she what?" I had to scratch my throat to make sure I just heard that right.

A wicked smirk formed on Malcolm's mouth.

He said, "Haven't cracked her yet, fully anyway. I'm sure she's a good lay, I've only eaten her pussy. Don't get me wrong, she's damn tasty. Tempting, but I've been busy with that bitch from the game remember, with the hips? 'Member her? Yeah, she's married but we meet in aspen usually on the weekends, or whenever I feel like it. She's expensive too, that's why I'm going broke now! Haha. I can't keep spending my money on these women: my worst habit, know what I mean?"

"Chris, did I lose you? Chris?" he asked, snapping his stubby fingers in my face and I hurriedly pushed them away. I don't like that so I left.

And the rest of the night I spent ignoring her calls and texts, and tossing and turning in bed. I wanted to sleep this off, wake up and find out it's dream.

*** The next morning ***

Is there a second April Fools? August Fools?

No, I'm the damn fool.

I couldn't even sleep the shit off, I was still pissed, mostly because she was the subject of my dreams and has been ever since May.

I fucking should've known better. Oh, my blood was boiling.
Fuck however David and Rodney made me feel, this is the worst, most dangerous type of anger I've felt. Ever.

How could I be so stupid?

My heart was pounding in my chest, the thumps grew louder and louder until I couldn't hear myself think anymore.

I needed air but I couldn't bring myself to move. My brain literally leaked, unable to command a single one of my six hundred plus muscles in my body to do something, anything.

If I expected anything else from the man, I would've jumped across the table and punched Malcolm in his fucking mouth and rip his tongue out with my bare hands, the very tongue that - ugh, fuck.

That is some down right disgusting shit and I never thought Morgan would do that- I'll say it- to me.

First she leaves me when I need her the most, then I'm fucking friend zoned, and now this?! Give me a fuckin' break.

I need to punch something, break something, hurt something. Someone.

I started gagging. Never did I ever, ever want to his seconds. There is no way in Hell I would've done anything with Morgan if I knew this is what she was doing. And I asked her too, multiple times and she said she would never. Well I'll be damned.

But you know what? I blame myself. I knew Malcolm met randoms whores online, so why did I think this one would be any different? He uses them and they let him for his money.

After work, I met Jabari at the gym. I just needed to let off steam but he was trying to talk about feelings and shit.
Of course I didn't tell him about Morgan, how and why would I?
I just lifted and he spotted me, going on about how he thinks Jasmine is the one and they talked about one day moving in together. Bullshit.

I told him congratulations but I'm a hater right now and could care less. I didn't want to hear that shit.

After two hours, he was ready to go and I figured I'd done all I could do without overdoing it. I wanted to release my anger but I know my body, and I'd regret it in the morning.

JB wanted some food, he said we should go to Red Sage Bed & Breakfast where he hoped the dinner buffet was still out.

The B&B got a lot of business this time of year, but Mister and Misses Porter were still there.
My parents had done a great job with the place, even talked about expanding. I told them why stop at a b&b, go into the hotel business - motel, at least, that's all Red Sage basically is at this point.

Say that to say, when we got there, there were a lot of faces we didn't recognize.

"Oh, good, you're here!" Mom exclaimed upon seeing me.

Her hair was a mess, some strands so sweaty they stuck to her red face.

"What's up?" I talked to her, looking around the buzzing dining hall.

"We could really use all hands on deck right now! JB, that means you too," she rushed out, pushing us towards the kitchen.

"As long as I get to eat," my friend agreed.

Dad walked passed us with a piping hot tray in his hands, holding it over our heads as he squeezed by in the hallway.

"Hey, Dad," I said.

"Sup, Carter," JB spoke, too.

"Hey," Dad quickly pushed out. "Honey, we need more turkey sausage ASAP!"

The house smelled good, the vents sending out dreams of French toast and waffles. Breakfast for dinner, always a great choice. Hell, my stomach was growling too, and I was eyeing that steak. I could tell my dad made it and I put one to the side for later.

It was a mad house, loudest I've ever heard the place, but that's good for business.

My mom loves to take on big tasks, I think, just so she can lead something and then get stressed out by it; that's just who she is. Meanwhile, my father just loved to support her and did whatever she asked.

No, I didn't want to play chef or lunch lady, but I did just to help calm everything down.

"What do you need help with?" I asked Mom, taking a bite of steak. I couldn't wait for later.

"Umm," she hummed, trying to think but everything was moving so fast, and everyone kept calling her name.

"Hey, hey," a cheery voice rang that sent me into orbit.

The majority of the room lit up to greet her.

I couldn't help the fact that my face said it all before my mouth could.

"It's so nice to see you," I heard my mother gush.

Dad tried to get past me to grab some aluminum foil but I stopped him.

"What's she doing here?" I questioned.

He rightfully looked confused. "Morgan? She's here to help."

With that, he walked away, yelling, "I found the foil for you, Mrs.Porter!"

Morgan began to walk towards Jabari and I by the refrigerator.
She looked like herself, only not really. Her hair was in a curly ponytail with several strands framing her face and nape of her neck. She had on a pair of leggings, high top converse, and a large t-shirt, with no accessories other than earrings and the scrunchie on her right wrist. But it wasn't the fact that she didn't have any makeup on or eyelashes that made her look different, I couldn't put my finger on it.
The glow she always had was kind of gone, she presented herself differently, trudging across the room instead of walking with her head up high like usual.

"Hey," she said to Jabari first.

"Hey, what's up, girl?" He spoke back, giving her half a hug.

"Jabari, help bring this pan of eggs to the table, please?" Mom asked of him.

He left me, looking stupid, I didn't know what to do or say.

I just turned my back and hoped she'd go away before we had to exchange words.

My body instantly jerked once her hand fell on my back.

"Don't fucking touch me," the words flew out of my mouth. I didn't mean to come off like that but I also didn't care. Who knows where else her hands have been?

Her lip quivered, she looked completely baffled.

"What's wrong?" she asked quietly enough for no one else to hear besides myself.

Mom rushed over to me, gritting her teeth.

"Maybe you should take this somewhere else?" She suggested, forcing a smile as some guests stared.

"Gladly. I'm leaving," I barked, pushing past their bodies.

I had only made it off the stoop when Morgan called out my name.

"Wait!" She yelled, following me to the front yard. "Fucking talk to me, what's wrong?"

I paced for a second, trying to bite my tongue but it had to be said. "You sat there and lied to me," I hollered, making sure she heard that. She lied. 

Morgan's lips parted and she shook her head like she didn't believe me. "Chris," she breathed, "what is this about?"

I didn't say anything, I let her think on it. She's a lot of things but dumb isn't one.

Her glossy blue-green doe eyes found mine.

"Malcolm?" She guessed.

I just walked away hearing his name but she followed again, wondering what this was about now.

"What did he tell you?" She asked, almost screaming.

"What you didn't!" I snatched away from her.

This look of realization dawned upon her face that was illuminated under the moonlight and stars.

"Okay," she said low with the flail of her arms. "what did you want me to say?"

"The fuckin truth when I asked you a month ago!" The bass in my voice made her jump back, scared.

"How am I supposed to feel with you laying in another's man's bed, Morgan? Letting him touch you, spoil you, show you off? Yet you're calling me daddy and acting like we're in a fucking relationship WHEN YOURE ALREADY IN ONE?!"

I had to step back, take a breather for a second before something hurtful slipped out, and it easily could've. Hands on my hips, I angrily wet my lips, seeing the way she hung her head and started to silently cry.

"It doesn't feel good," I let out, my chest puffing.

Morgan swallowed hard and twiddled her fingers.

"I-I knew you wouldn't want anything to do with me," she faltered, staring at the low cut grass under her feet.

"You're right," I asserted, looking down at her.

Morgan desperately clung to my arm. "Chris, I-" she tried to say but I cut her off.

"I don't want anything to do with you. Frankly I'm fucking disgusted and this went on longer than it should've," I said my piece.

That was it.

Her fingers loosened around my wrist and she dropped her jaw.

She didn't say anything else, I didn't want her to. What's done is done.

I peered over her head at the amount of people on the step by the front door who had just witnessed all of that. Mom, Dad, and JB were in the very front, they looked disappointed.
Everyone else dispersed and the three of them stayed there.

I threw my arms up, waiting for them to say or do something, I knew it was coming.

"Oh, come on, Morgan," Mom cooed, meeting her halfway in the lawn. She pulled Morgan's head onto her shoulder and walked her inside, followed by my father who shot a disheartening look my way. Of course he's on their side.

I paced along the sidewalk and JB found me there.

"Damn," he croaked.

"How much did you hear?" I wondered.

"Mostly everything," he answered. "So that's it, huh? You and Morgan?"

"I don't want to talk about it," I grumbled almost robotically. "Let's smoke."

"Nah," he said, rubbing his chin. "Ima go in here and finish with the food, for real. I'm hungry."

"Oh, shit, I forgot they needed help. I'll come-"

His hand went to my chest and I looked at it until he removed it.

"Nah, you good. Morgan's in there and I don't think anyone wants that drama, you can dip."

I scoffed, tongue in my cheek. "Wow."

He shook his head. "It's not like that, you know I got yo back. Look, we boys, ima tell you when you wrong. Just, that ain't no way to talk to someone you care about, is all," his slow, country accent talked.

I got frustrated. "You don't understand. She-"

Jabari threw his arms up in innocence. "That's on you."

I kept trying to explain myself. "But she-"

He patted my shoulder. "That's on you."

***

September 2nd.

Maybe work wasn't slow but it felt like it. Everything felt slow, pretty meaningless. I was just doing shit with no conviction and nothing to look forward to. I needed a day to myself, get my shit together. My head just wasn't in it at the time.

At long last, though, it was quitting time.

I walked after a group of guys, discussing their dinner plans. I didn't have any - ramen noodles again, probably, or Chipotle if I felt like stopping on the way home.

"Good night, Chris," Jenny said with a smirk. Each of her pale fingers wiggled as she waved to me.

Keep walking, Chris, I told myself in my head.

Don't do it.

"Do you want to hang out tonight?" I asked her.

Andddd you did it. What a dingus. Way to revert back to your old ways. I thought we left pointless dates and vanilla sex in the past.

You don't even like this girl. She's boring, has bad teeth, and chipped nail polish.

While Jenny was a walking red flag, she'd been flirting with me everyday since my phone interview, and I needed to take my mind off of someone else.

Jenny stopped packing her large purse to blink her coated eyelashes at me.

"Um, I don't know-"

"It's a yes or no question."

"Okay, then, yeah. Yeah!" She laughed.

I nodded stiffly, pushing off of her reception desk after letting her know I'd text her when and where.

*

"This is a nice house," Jenny talked.

I decided to reply this time.

"Yeah, it's not mine," I said, staring at the basketball game on tv.

She sat on the couch at ninety degrees and looked around some more.

"So who's is it?"

"My parents," I said. "They're not home."

"Do you not have a place?"

"I do," I answered, blinking at the screen.

"So, why couldn't we go there?" Jenny asked yet another damn question.

I turned the volume up. "'Cause I don't take people back to my place."

Jenny sighed and then eased back into the comfort of the couch.

She had been over for, like, two hours and that was the longest conversation we had.

We didn't do anything, there was nothing to do.

Like I said, Jenny is boring. She wasn't bad looking and I'm sure she's not a terrible person, we just didn't connect at all.

I kept my eyes on the game but it was halftime and I didn't care for all the commercials.

"So," she rambled, "wanna fool around?"

"I love when you fuck me like this," Morgan's purely angelic, yet broken, screams replayed in my head.

"Fuck, Chris, please don't stop. Don't fucking stop."

"Y-yes. Right there."

"You're so big, I love it. I want to feel you deep inside of me."

A smile came across my lips and I shut my eyes for a second, revisiting the memory of being deep inside of Morgan's wet pussy, and the way she made me feel like more of a man.

My dick pulsed against my thigh at the thought.

"Chris!" I could still hear the way she screamed my name.

"Chris!"

"Chris!" Jenny's voice was like nails on a chalkboard. I cringed, flinging my eyes open.

"Chris!" Jenny's voice was like nails on a chalkboard. I cringed, flinging my eyes open.

I was hit with disappointment when I saw Jenny staring at me.

"Uh," I groaned, panicking to find something to cover my lap.

"I'll see you at work tomorrow."

She looked confused. "But we haven't done anything, yet?"

I pressed a throw pillow over my growing problem and rushed her out.

"I said do you want to hang out, not do you want to fuck me," I laughed. "We hung out. Now good night."

"You're a dick," she scowled, jumping off of the couch.

As soon as the door clicked, I tossed my head back and tried to slip back into my thoughts.

"Who the hell was that?" A youthful voice squeaked.

I flinched and covered myself again.

"Kailyn? What the fuck are you doing here, I thought everyone was gone?"

She came and sat beside me on the couch.

This is... wildly uncomfortable.

"I've been here the whole time, sleep, I didn't want to go to the movies. Now, who was that?" The teenager grilled me.

"Nobody," I huffed.

I can't believe my kid cousin is sitting next to me as I'm fucking hard right now. How do I get out of this one?

"Didn't look like anybody. Why'd she say you're a dick?"

"Kailyn," I exhaled, frustrated. "Can you just go back upstairs?"

"Fine," she murmured, standing on her feet. "but I'm telling Morgan you were on a date."

Pfft. I curled my face and shrugged. "Go ahead," I dared.

Kailyn rolled her back and tested me with the pop of her eyebrows.

As soon as she started back to the steps, I called her back down.

"Hm?" She hummed, arms folded.

"Tell Morgan and I'll tell your parents where you really got the weed from, and then see if your bad ass stays here for the school year," I threatened, pointing at her.

Kailyn rolled her icy blue eyes. "You are a dick," she complained, stomping up the stairs.

It wasn't until she was almost gone that I noticed something I had to commend her for.

"Wait!" I hollered after her.

Kailyn came barreling back into the living room.

"What now?!" She roared.

"Why are you talking like that?" I asked, eyebrows pushed in as I focused on her new appearance.

"Like what, this is my real voice?"

Aha! I knew that fucking forced accent, hot Cheetos, and the dirty Air Force 1s plus leggings and black jacket combo was all a front.

"So it was a phase?"

She rolled her eyes again. "Whatever, Chris. Morgan didn't just change you, she's also helped with my wardrobe and inner goddess."

"Inner goddess?" I mumbled under my breath.

"Nevermind," I exhaled, shaking my head. "get outta here."

Kailyn laughed, turning on the heels of her bare feet to start back up that staircase.

"And Chris?" she bubbled.

I raised my head to show I was listening even though my eyes were back stuck on the game.

Kailyn hesitated and then said, "You just went on a date out of spite. Morgan goes out with Malcolm because she has to..."