"You hurt me in a way that I never would have imagined. But I don't want to spend the rest of my life hating someone I love from deep down inside my heart. I forgive you."

Morgan Ann Bennett

"—So, what do you say?" I asked The Jonses about my business proposal.

The husband and wife duo looked at each other for an answer.

I gritted my teeth with anticipation, fingers crossed behind my back.

"Well, I think it's a great idea," Mary spoke up.

"Me too," Callie agreed from behind the cash register. "As long as I get a raise."

Alvin scowled at her and Callie backed off, tending to Quinn who was coloring at the counter.

It was the middle of the day when I brought the idea to the business owners.

Black Elk Lodge makes so much money and is already such a hit, expanding would only be a bonus.

As long as they had the staff and funds, I couldn't see how this was a bad idea.
I mean, they had the whole town's support, and would be doing everyone a favor instead of letting Malcolm build that damn titty bar and smoke shop.

"It's just a lot different than a little ole' cafe," Sherry explained.

Alvin finished his black coffee and nodded stiffly. "Plus what about the pharmacy? I can't run both."

"You won't have to! I'll help out with the restaurant, whatever you guys need!"

"Really?" Sherry exclaimed, eyes wide and glossy.

"Mhm," I assured her with a side hug. "Just give me your delicious recipes and we'll be good."

The room cracked up.

"I don't know," Mrs.Jones hesitated.

"Just think, it'll be just like the café, but bigger - more room for, say, drag shows!"

That's when Brandon and his fellow performers ran out in quick drag to cheer for the Indigenous couple.

"Woo!" Mary hollered, making it rain but instead of money it was flyers for the upcoming fundraiser.

"Okay, okay," Alvin cackled, distracted by all the bad synthetic wigs and falling papers.

"But, where are we going to get that kind of money?" Sherry wondered. "All we make goes to bills, buying food, ingredients, and not to mention that new security system."

Alvin non-verbally agreed. Then he said, "It sounds good, but we just don't have the money, and the bank won't give us another loan."

I twisted my mouth and then checked the bank app on my phone.

Once it loaded, I checked my accounts.

"I have five thousand dollars, how does that sound?" I laid down.

Everyone looked at me like I had three heads.

"Morgan, what? No, that's too much," Mary blurted.

"Speak for yourself," Sherry said, pushing her friend out of the way.

"Morgan, you are a Godsend, you'd do that?!" Sherry thanked me.

I smiled, nodding my head. "Of course! And I was serious, give me the recipe for those muffins!"

She started to laugh in the hug. "Ugh, I love you, Elu."
Elu being the Native American (Indigenous) girl name for beautiful, or so she told me.

"Thank you, Morgan, you have no idea how much that means to us," Alvin said to me, his hand firmly on my shoulder.

"So, what do we do first, it's been so long?" Asked Sherry.

"We'll have to take care of the legalities, licensing, staffing, etcetera," Mary listed.

"And don't forget we still need to come up with the rest of the money," Alvin made clear.

"But leave the rest up to me," I asserted.

That's when the doors flew open.

We all snapped our necks to see who was coming in when the sign clearly said "closed."

"You're looking at your new varsity cheerleader!" Kailyn squealed, skipping in.

She found me in the middle of the café and we started jumping up and down with joy.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so happy for you!" I bubbled, clinging to her body.

She grinned up at me. "And it's all thanks to you!"

"No, stop, that's all you. How was it?" I talked, pushing the hair behind her back.

"Ask them for yourselves," Kailyn beamed, standing to the side.

In walked the cheer squad who I recognized with their two coaches, they're regulars.

"So, I heard our fundraising services were needed?" The larger woman, Coach Cook, smirked.

Her assistant, the tall, skinny one, smiled with her buck teeth. "And you can pay us in muffins."

"Ay," Sherry whispered to me, "you white people really love your muffins."

***

"—So every hundred dollars we make, you'll get a percentage," Monique explained to me.

I reached out to the Jack-in-the-box employee just to see if their business could help us out any, and surprisingly, they agreed to help!

Monique finished filling me in and then went to relay the information to Mary and Sherry who were running around, stressed.

I kept telling them to relax because I had basically everything under control. Well, almost everything. The drag queens were acting like total divas, saying they didn't want to come out in the day time in such "ridiculous costumes" but I had to remind them that they're making money, raising it, and always wear outlandish outfits.

"Touché," Brandon mumbled at me.

"Mhm," I hummed, nudging him in the back.

Everyone was gathered downtown, people passed by wondering what the hell was going on, and other than a car wash, I didn't have an answer.

Basically we were just having a good time.

There was a bake sale, a dunk tank, a moon bounce, and a line of cars beeping impatiently. It had to be, like, thirty vehicles filed down the road.

Kailyn and her cheer squad had on their uniforms, raised posters to grab attention, and performed some stunts. They took off of school on account this was for charity and they could be excused.

My old uniform did not fit my breasts anymore so Mary sewed me a new one and the girls made me an honorary Titan for the day!

My hair was in a ponytail tied with a crimson-colored scrunchie to match the school colors. I found myself constantly pulling down the skirt as my ass poked out every two seconds showing the metallic gold cheer bloomers (briefs), but no one was complaining. Jasmine matched me but went as far as putting on shimmer on her cheeks like I used to for competitions. We were really like Britney and Camille now (Bring It On: All or Nothing.)

Even Quinn had on a one piece cheer jumper dress, and stole the show!
She spent the day at the bounce house or face painting while Callie watched over her with the company of an unfamiliar man.
I made a mental note to pry later.

Meanwhile, Alvin and Carter cooked on the grill. I thought it would be good that they collab, since Alvin has the business know-how and Carter is a barbecue master. People were curious about the menu, so we gave them samples.

With the money I donated, and the share from The Vaughn's, we had a pretty good start.

The Porters, the old couple from the B&B, played a game of cornhole off to the side, enjoying their time away from Red Sage for a change.

The sun was high in the sky and was heated to the perfect temperature just for this occasion, it seemed. There were some clouds but it was the perfect day; Jabari's cousin, DJ Skies even came to play for free!

Jabari had started a game of basketball across the street at the courts and Jasmine started taking bets when it picked up. Other than that, she had tickets for a raffle, and everyone was in on that. Some people bought so many tickets, I even considered rigging the giveaway for them just because they were so invested.

"Wow," I breathed out, taking in the turn out.

The streets were packed, blocked off with permission from the city. I seriously couldn't ask for a better day, but this wasn't all about me.

Luckily, Malcolm was away but not on business this time, he mentioned a guy's retreat in Aspen and I didn't question it. Although, he'd been retiring to Aspen a lot over the past few weeks. . .

Anyway, I was running around, making sure everyone was taken care of while they enjoyed the outdoor festivities on this fine September day - the sixth, to be exact, I never wanted to forget it.

"You good, Larry, can I get you guys anything?" I asked the eldest of the fisherman trio that was always in the café first thing.

They waved to me and gave thumbs up, all smiles.

I grinned, walking away from them at the bench.

"Morgan, Morgan, check this out!" Kailyn exclaimed, grabbing me by the wrists to drag me across the sidewalk.

I stopped and stared as she and the rest of the cheerleaders positioned themselves.

"Ready? Okay!" The captain, Macy, cheered.

They recited some upbeat lines and rattled their pompoms, making sure to flash their teeth and be expressive throughout the whole routine, ending with two three-person pyramids.

I clapped for them once they were finished and the girls all surrounded me, jumping with excitement.

"Okay, okay," I laughed, spinning out of the huddle.

"There you are, girl," Jasmine talked. "I haven't seen you all day. You need to relax."

I slouched for a second and then corrected my posture.

"I'm fine, Jas, there's just so much to do," I told her.

She looked around. "Everyone's having a great time, we're making money, and The Jonses are happy. Like I said, relax."

When I didn't say anything, Jasmine gave me an empathetic look.

"Have you been feeling any better, at least- your stomach?"

"Jas," I groaned, shaking her shoulders. "will you stop worrying, I'm okay?!"

She laughed, pushing the sleek extended ponytail over her shoulder. "Well, one more question."

I pursed my lips and waited for her to ask it already.

"What's up with you and Chris?" Jasmine asked me as we started to walk along the sidewalk.

"Hey, Morgan," a random person shouted at me.

"Hey!" I beamed back quickly and kept walking arm-in-arm with Jas.

"Up next, the three pointer competition!" DJ Skies announced.

I sighed and collected my thoughts.

"I don't wanna talk about it, Jas, 'cause I don't know," I replied.

She squeezed me. "Well, his loss."

I faked a small smile and let her so once my name was called again.

"Aye, would you two mind giving us a hand with these cars? They ain't gonna wash themselves!" Alvin gave Jas and I a hard time.

"Oop," she drawled. "I know he ain't talking to us."

"Yes, Sasha and Cloe, let's go!" He reported on the mega phone.

*

It was after one in the afternoon on this Tuesday and we had already made so much money after being at it since ten in the morning.

I was depositing the money from the full cash drawer into another envelope on the side of Mary's Kia Telluride when I noticed some commotion on the side of the building by the dumpsters.

Wondering what it was when I realized it was AJ getting pushed around, I walked over.

"—And you better give me my fuckin' money!" Rodney barked in his scared face.

AJ was submissive under Rodney's large frame and trembled, flinching every time Rodney moved a muscle.

"Excuse me," I asserted myself.

Rodney stopped the beating to glance at me with my arms folded across my chest.

"What's going on, Megan?" He talked, trying to approach me.

I backed away. "It's Morgan, Robbie."

He laughed, scratching the shadow of his beard.

"It's not what it looks like, don't call the cops on me," he lowered his voice.

I looked past his body to see AJ keeled over the bags of trash piled on the ground.

"This is a community event, if you're not contributing to that then you can go," I told him.

He stepped closer, I could feel his hot breath washing over my skin.

I wasn't scared of him. I mean, I am, but I couldn't show it. Besides, Chris and I may be on bad terms but they still have a score to settle, and I know Chris would easily beat him up.

His nostrils flared and the odor of weed filled mine.

"I'll get you the money! I'll get you the money!" AJ spat up.

Rodney turned his back on me at a sharp angle.

"By Monday," he enforced, patting Adriel's brown cheek.

With that said, he walked off, getting in the same car that was at Buffalo Wild Wings that night, and full of the same posse.

I blinked my eyelashes at Adriel, waiting for him to face me.

It's been what seems like forever since we last talked. He stopped being friends and consequently stopped showing his face around town.

I saw him from time to time at his parent's shops but he didn't speak, he'd just keep his head down and try avoiding eye contact unless I caught him staring then he'd shyly wave and scurry off.

At first I didn't know why he switched up on Chris after the game, but I see now Rodney is involved, and it's about money. Money he didn't have.

"Don't tell Chris," he croaked, finding the strength to stand upright. Luckily for him, there were no visible scars or anything, just a busted lip but he wiped the blood away and spit.

"I wasn't going to," I murmured, walking away.

"Wait!" He called after me, grabbing my arm.

I signaled him to let go of me and he did.

With a sigh, Adriel said, "my parents either."

I shrugged. "Of course not. You're grown, aren't you?"

"Yeah," he said, dropping his head of long, deep brown hair.

"So, how much do you owe him?"

"Three k," he admitted lowly.

"Damn it, AJ," I scolded him.

He breathed out, defeated. "I know."

"You don't have three thousand dollars?" I asked, hand on my hip with the envelop still in it.

He shook his head in shame.

"Well you shouldn't have gotten to this point in the first place."

"I know," he uttered.

"What's it for, anyway?"

He hesitated to answer but finally did. "I've been selling, or, trying to. Some little bad ass teenagers jumped me last week and took my supply. Three thousand dollars worth. It's either give it to Rodney or answer to the big guy."

"Who's that?"

He shook his head again. "Can't tell you that. Look, thanks for keeping quiet, I gotta go figure out how to get this money by Monday."

Curse the goodness in my body, but I couldn't let him struggle.

"Here," I said, handing over three thousand dollars cash. It was a small percentage of what we made and I just had to remember to take three thousand from my personal account later on.
Hey, this money is for charity, right? Besides, he's a Jones, he can have in on the good fortune as well.

I listened to him say "I can't," only to hug me and promise to pay it back.

"Haven't seen Chris around today, have you?" AJ made conversation.

My head turned side to side, a frown on my face.

"Trouble in paradise, or?"

I stopped him there. "He's just working, you know."

That wasn't a lie, and it was none of his business.

"No, I didn't know, but that's awesome. With Reuben?"

"I don't wanna give out all his business, so," I returned, awkwardly shifting my eyes from his face.

He tried to smile sincerely. "Well tell him I said congrats, and good luck. Oh, and, thanks again, Morgan. I'll pay you back... I'll pay you back."

I continued watching Adriel as he hopped on his motorcycle and sped off.

A sigh passed my lips, I hoped I wouldn't regret doing that.

*

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

"Lay where you're laying; don't make a sound. I know they're watching. They're watching," I sang along to the King's of Leon song 'Sex on Fire.' And I sang very loudly, too, just vibing to the beat and lyrics.

I kept having to adjust my cheer top and skirt as I washed the cars but that just reeled in extra tips from the male admirers in their cars.

When I looked over my shoulder to see how The Vaughn's were doing, I saw Mary and Carter having a water fight - splashing one another with sponges and buckets full of soapy water.

A hopeless sigh passed my lips but I tried not to overthink myself into a bad mood on such a nice day.

"That's the last of 'em," Teddy let everyone know.

The lot of us who helped with the car washing all cheered and high-fived.

Glad that's over, I thought in my head.

I dropped the sponge into the bucket and watched it splash about.

"Good," Jasmine remarked, "now can I eat?"

Jabari threw his arm over her shoulder and then mine as we stood on both sides of his linky body.

"Yeah, I could definitely eat another burger," he commented, walking us towards the grilling area of the park.

"Hold on, don't go anywhere just yet," I heard Carter shout after us.

The three of us stopped in our tracks and focused on the line of vehicles coming our way- about ten trucks and cars.

"Sheesh, we're gonna need a bigger bucket," Carter quipped, making a Jaws reference.

The first truck in the lead was an all black '22 Dodge Durango R/T. We all knew exactly who it was and I was the only one who didn't act surprised. Not because I didn't think he'd show up, I didn't, but because no one else had that truck around here.

Mary clapped her hands together at the sight of her six-foot-two son getting out of his truck, named Lenny. I missed being a passenger princess in Lenny.

Jasmine peeked around JB's chest to see my reaction, I just stared blankly, trying not to get excited that Chris is here.

After an exchange of words with his parents, Chris's eyes shot to me and I froze.

"Yo!" Carter whistled at the three of us. "A hand?"

"Mr.V, there better be a good ass meal in this for me, all this work I'm doin'," JB messed with Carter.

Carter tossed a towel at Jabari and laughed, walking with him towards the end of the line.

Mary walked behind me too and just squeezed my shoulders in passing without saying anything.

I stopped with Jasmine before Chris's truck while he was talking to Teddy some feet away.

When his eyes found mine again, he left his conversation with Teddy and headed towards me.

"Yeah, I'm gonna go sell some more raffle tickets," Jas excused. "Good luck."

I knew this was going to come eventually, or at least, I hoped. We needed to talk, I just didn't think it would be here, like this, after a whole week. That seven days felt like it lasted seven years; far too long without hearing from him or knowing what was on his mind. Too long for him to not have heard an apology from me.

He had just left work, I knew because he wouldn't be dressed in slacks and a Polo otherwise, pair of black high top Converse with it too since he can't stand dress shoes.

He looked good, like nothing even happened. Hair loosely pulled back, two uneven stubborn pieces framing his face, rings and bracelets on. Still smelled like sea spray/white peony/salted amber, too, and it was intoxicating. I'd know the fragrance and buy it myself (just to have, not wear - it's more masculine and I'm a more powdery, floral notes type of gal) if he didn't gatekeep the name or names of his signature scent(s).

We were just taking turns looking at each other until Chris let out a short, breathy laugh and scratched his head.

"I don't know what to say," he said. "well, I do but."

"If it's anything about me being a whore and how you're disgusted with me, or whatever else you told your mom about me, don't. Not here, not now. I don't want to argue, I've been through too much."

"Like what?"

"More than you know," I said, folding my arms across my chest.

He relaxed his tense jaw and dropped his arms at his sides.

"Nah, I didn't come here to argue," he made clear.

That put me at ease a little, I let my arms fall past my hips, as well.

"Hey, Chris, move your car up, we'll wash it!" Carter yelled at his son.

Chris bobbed his head, signaling me to follow him inside of the vehicle and I did.

The car was parked and I tried being comfortable in the passenger seat.

I couldn't avoid eye contact and stare out of the windshield any longer because the whole truck had been sprayed and soaped down, there was nothing to see.

Chris rubbed his hands on his knees and then blew air from his cheeks.

"I didn't think this conversation would be this hard," he cracked. I wasn't sure why he was laughing especially so awkwardly, it wasn't like him. Normally he's so forward and has no problem getting things off his chest. He's right though, this is much harder than I thought it would be, neither of us could spit a word out to start.

Just, try not to cry.

"Obviously I can't take back what happened with Malcolm, or between us. I never intended on doing anything with him like that whatsoever. Sleeping with him for money, that was never— that's not me. I know you probably think I'm easy or disgusting, like you said, but I'm not. Or maybe I am, but you don't have to have anything to do with me if you don't want me. Like, I can't just not feel this way about you overnight but I guess I'll have to try," I let out.

"I wasn't gonna talk to you again, I'll be honest. And I did say some shit about you that I take back now, but that's how I feel—  felt. I still am bothered, like obviously, that's just not something I would be okay with. You know if I knew you were fucking him, you and I would've never," his voice trailed off.

"Yeah, I know," I mumbled sadly.

"I just can't forget that personally, but it's not even that, like, you lied to me."

"But-"

"Let me finish," he said, talking with his large hands.

I let him.

Chris then said, "And it was just time after time with you. First you left me, then basically say we're nothing, and now this?"

"Okay," I paused to collect my thoughts and emotions. "Are we not over me leaving you? I apologized. I'm sorry, but please don't make me keep paying for that. Then, I didn't say we're nothing, I said I'm single because I didn't want anyone to one: know I'm with Malcolm. And two: think we're a thing when we clearly can't be and you said it yourself-"

"No, I-" Chris tried to interject but I put my hand on his and stopped him.

"Let me talk," my voice squeaked when I tried to raise it.

He exhaled and sat back, quiet.

"You said how can I act like we're in a relationship when I'm already in one so what do you want from me? You're single, right? Seeing other girls?"

"Other girls?" He questioned, face turned up like he smelled something bad, but he was just trying to lie.

"Kailyn told me, Chris, about your date," I revealed.

He clenched his jaw and then watched me remove my hand from his body.

"The difference is I didn't have sex with her," he claimed.

I didn't know what to believe but I took that for the truth because it would be crazy for him to lie when he's scolding me for "lying."

"Well you should've," I grumbled.

Okay, that was petty. I'm hurt, and that was the last thing I wanted to know: that he had been out with another girl.

Chris angrily furrowed his eyebrows. "What the fuck? I wouldn't do that, that's the whole point. Like, can you not see that I just want you. Solely want you."

I dropped my head. "We can't be together, Chris."

When he mumbled "oh my God" under his breath, head against the headrest, I sniffled.

"Like, if you want, we can move forward. I'd like to be friends if that's the only way we can be in each other's lives, still."

"How the fuck are we just supposed to be friends now?"

"Why are you cussing at me?"

He inhaled and then looked at me coldly.

"It's not— no, we're not doing that. If you want to be with me, we need to figure that out, 'cause I'm not being just friends with you," he argued.

I grabbed my hair in my hands and tried blinking away the tears before they fell.

"I don't know what to do," I sobbed.

"At this point, you have to pick, like, leave him or be done with this?"

I shook my head as I cried, my body rotated in the seat to face his with my elbows in my knees.

"Chris, don't you fucking think I would've been done that? I tried two or three times now, it's not— I can't."

"Well I'll tell him."

I slightly raised my head and stared at him through my eyelashes.
My mind instantly went to Kyle. Sure Chris can fight, but Malcolm is dirty and unfair. Say Chris beats his ass, Malcolm will go to great lengths to get back at him. To finish him. Imagine what he'd do to me.

What are the options after that? Run away and hide somewhere in a different state or foreign country? I don't want to uproot Callie and Quinn's life, and Chris has it good here with this new job plus there's his parents. Besides, we shouldn't have to be on the run from this man.

Then I remembered the gun to his skull.

Next, whatever he did to me that night, I still don't know.

"I didn't sleep with him," I suddenly admitted.

The car fell silent.

"I didn't touch him in any way. He... went down on me once. The other time, well, I don't remember it, but I also don't remember saying 'no,' either," my voice trembled.

I hoped that would give Chris the hint of how vile Malcolm was, and that this wasn't my decision.

He shut his eyes tight for a prolonged time and then swallowed hard.

"Come with me," Chris suddenly said.

I sniffled, wondering why he didn't react to the information I just gave him.

"They're still washing the car, you can't drive away?" I replied, stupidly.

He shook his head. "I meant away, my birthday."

"Ohhh," I drawled. Facepalm.

"Where?" I asked with a shift in my tone.

"Don't worry about it, just come over tonight, pack light," he instructed.

I looked around, slow. "What am I supposed to tell Malcolm?"

"I don't know," he rasped, hand on my thigh. "be creative."