"You open your heart knowing that there's a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that's so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soulmate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life."

Morgan Ann Bennett

Another day I woke up feeling like a princess but not for all the good reasons such as the glitz and glam, but because I'm locked away in a tower guarded by the fire-breathing Dragon that is Malcolm and his hot breath.

Ugh, he kept me up all night with his loud mouth breathing, I kept pushing his lips together but it was no use. He'd toss and turn and start to slobber, too.

I hate Malcolm.

"Oh, you know how much it hurts, every time you say you hate me; but when we're makin' love, you make it worth it. Can't believe the places that you take me..." I sang along to the Shawn Mendes song Perfectly Wrong.'

How fitting, I thought in my head. Eye roll.

Slouching in my vanity, I disassociated from the lyrics that were hitting a little too close to home, and finished getting ready for the day.

"—You're perfectly wrong for me, and that's why it's so hard to leave. Yeah, you're perfectly wrong for me.
Oh, you're perfectly wrong for me, all the stars in the sky could see; Why you're perfectly wrong for me." The lyrics went on as I set angled my hair in the mirror.

Damn you Shawn Mendes for making such vocally beautiful music that is so unfortunately relatable.

My phone lit up with a text message from Jasmine. It read:

Today's the big day!!!

I'll give the quick rundown. Basically, I might've let it slip to my best friend that I have strong feelings for Chris and wanted to take things to the next level. And, yes, I know that with our peculiar situation, there's not many levels we can go to, but still.

I at least had to get it off my chest before it was too late. Isn't it obvious, already? Oh, but you know how men can't pick up on things, you have to look them in the eyes and speak clearly.

Things are less than favorable for Chris and I right now but we had fought back hard to get to this point, and I feel as if there's a reason that we prevail after each and every hard trial.

The worst that could happen is he doesn't say it back and that would hurt, yeah, but at least I confessed once I felt it, and he'll know.

Okay, psych. I'll actually be crushed if he doesn't say, or feel, it back. I mean, it's Chris, there's no telling what mood he'll be in.
And oh, that's exactly why I had plans to stop at the finest lingerie store and find something absolutely irresistible to wear tonight for him before dropping the 'L' bomb.

I replied to Jasmine, letting her know that I'll pick her up as soon as I was finished getting ready.

Sitting my phone aside, I stared at my reflection and took a deep breath.

"I love you," I said aloud. Simple.

With some confidence this time, I repeated, "I love you."

That's not so hard, I thought.

"I love you-"

"Morgan, you're talking to yourself?" Malcolm's entry scared me.

Hand on my heart, I crawled back into the skin he made me jump out of a second ago, and covered my chest with my bathrobe.

"I am," I responded. "just some daily affirmations."

"Nevermind that. See how good I'm doing?" he gloated, wheeling himself around the lavender bedroom that I used as storage/a second closet or dressing room.

I clapped for him, somewhat actually proud. He had been making a lot of progress in therapy and had feeling from the waist up. While it's honestly nice seeing someone recover, especially so fast, I wish he'd stay a vegetable forever.

"So," he talked, parking his chair beside my round grey velvet vanity stool, "how are things with my restaurant?"

"Your restaurant?" I wondered, honestly lost.

He smirked, wanting to laugh. "Okay, fine, our restaurant. Happy? Sheesh, not even married yet and what's mine is yours." He guffawed. It's that rich white man laugh forced from the throat, showing all of his veneers, that makes me want to kick him. Not that he'll be able to feel it.

The blank look on my face told him I had no idea what he meant.

"Downtown, darling, with those people - The Jonses."

I blinked rapidly, trying to understand. "No, Malcolm, they bought that-"

"With a large sum of your money which I so charitably gave to you. And if you want to remain an investor, well, you'll need more of my money."

I shook my head. "Malcolm, no. I'll raise the money and give it back to you, don't do this. This is their dream-"

"I had Sage write a check and personally deliver it to The Jonses - an offer they couldn't refuse. Don't worry, you won't catch me in the kitchen or getting my hands dirty, I'll leave that to you. I like to stay on the business side of things. Keep my head down and nose clean. Ha. Oh, but I guess, if I'm better by the grand opening, I'll cut the ribbon. You'll be a doll and let them know there will be some changes. Thanks."

"And the name," he went on. "definitely need to change the name, Black Elk Lodge seems very... lodge-y. It's not a ski resort, it's a fine dining establishment."

"Speaking of fine dining, I heard your chicken salad will be served? Yeah, no, not a fan - too much sugar," he added, rolling over the threshold.

***

Despite having to make a hard phone call to Mary and Sherry about Malcolm's plans, the day wasn't all bad.

Actually, Sherry told me she did accept his offer and agreed on the grounds that he'd let them have "full control" over their establishment. Alvin wasn't very business savvy, mostly just saw zeros on checks, so when he received one from Malcolm he was blinded by his smooth talk, thinking he'd know better than anyone now to run a business.

Mary and Carter were obviously pissed, but The Jonses had final say and convinced The Vaughn's it was just business, that they knew what they were doing.
I believe Carter's final words were, "As long as he stays out of the damn way."

It was clear Malcolm was a city-wide problem that no one had a solution for.

I was starting to doubt my plan — that he'd let me go with a change of heart once I nursed him back to health— and struggled to devise a new one.

Jasmine, though, was a good and much needed distraction. And bonus points because I didn't have to lie about where I was going, with who, or why.

She and I walked arm-in-arm throughout the busy mall. It was so busy, I was wondering if they let school out and had a national day-off-work or something.

Toot-toot! Someone whistled at me.

"What is this, the fifties? Ew," I cringed.

Jas laughed, finished her pretzel.

"Hey, how are you?" Another boy spoke in passing.

I just rolled my eyes.

"He was cute," Jasmine commented.

"Unh-unh, too skinny, and he had a mullet," I listed, face curled in.

She laughed. "Do you always get that, guys hitting on you?"

"You would too if you didn't have resting bitch face," I made her laugh.

"True, and I love my man," she squeaked with pride, tossing her trash in the nearest bin.

Love?

I gulped hard. "I'm happy for you..." my voice trailed off.

A grin crept slowly onto her brown face. "And after tonight, once you tell Chris, I'll be happy for you! Now come on, enough catcalling, let's find something grown and sexy!"

After two other stores where nothing spoke to me, I was pulled into yet another adult store. For someone so small, Jasmine was strong. And bossy.

"I love this store. If you don't find something here, you're just not looking," Jasmine talked at me, filing inside.

"Hello, ladies. Welcome in!" An employee in a pink cardigan over a black midi dress greeted us. She was tall, thin, and had her deep brown hair neatly tucked into a bob.

"Hi," Jas said.

"Hey." I replied with a wave and small smile.

"Anything I can help you find?" she offered.

I looked at Jas who was no help in the other stores and then sighed.

"Special night tonight," I sang my words awkwardly.

She nodded with this intrigued smile like she was just waiting to get this commission.
Lisa was her name, read it on her shiny name tag.

"So I want something that says 'fuck me like you hate me, but also, make love to me,' you know?"

Both of their eyes were stuck on me.

I laughed with little shame.

"Something that says 'I'm a slut but you can still hold me after.'"

Lisa nodded aimlessly and then exclaimed, "I have just the thing!"

And she was right, she had just the thing. Well, after two other pieces I tried on, I found the one.

"Have a good day!" Lisa wished, handing over my bag.

"Or should I say night," she added, cackling.

My laugh was light and airy. "Oh, I plan to!"

"Good luck!" She shouted after us.

Jasmine playfully elbowed me as we left the store.

"What?" I asked all bashful.

"Think he'll be satisfied?" She tested, wiggling her eyebrows.

"With the sex stuff, yes. With the 'L' word? Don't know," I let out, taking a seat on one of the massage chairs.

Jasmine's feet hurt after a day of shopping, too, so I paid the machinery and it began to relieve our bodies.

"Ahh," we both released, sinking into the cushion.

"Why wouldn't he be on board with that? It's Chris, he loves you, anyone can see that."

"It's Chris, like you said," I laughed.

"I don't know, J, I just never know which him I'm going to get. It's like, we can only be good for so long, then something has to come and shit on our plates."

"Okay, ew," she winced. "never say that again."

"Seriously, though, what's next? I can go 'Chris I'm leaving Malcolm,' then boom, a meteor strikes. Something. Always. Ruins. It."

"So don't let it."

"Well it's much easier said than done. Trust me, we tried — I tried." My voice was shaky as my back got kneaded.

Eyes closed, Jasmine popped her shoulders. "I don't know what to say, sis, but I think it'll be different this time. Y'all have found your stride and been good ever since."

I heard her out. That kind of made me feel better. I was only nervous, but no need to be, it's just three words.
Whatever happens after that, well, I decided to cross that bridge once I got there. . .

As I listened to Jasmine talked shit about how she and Jabari made up and he moved in, I spaced.

"Sorry, I just need to call Chris. It'll just be a second," I excused myself from the one-sided conversation.

Chris picked up on the fourth ring or so even though I called his extension directly. Figured he was just that busy.

"Hey," I bubbled, smiling as if he could see.

"What's up?" His vocal fry made me melt.

"Um, not much. Just wondering what time you'll be off, I forget. Need to make sure before I'm there too early and your neighbors think I'm homeless again."

"Uh, I'm working late tonight," he monotoned.

My eyes rolled back with disappointment.

Of course.

"You forgot, didn't you?" I complained, wearing a frown.

"Forgot what?"

"Nothing, it's fine. I'll just come over another time," I replied, pushing my plate away.

"No, no, I can get off on time. It's just, my schedule, I've been so busy. Sorry I forgot."

"It's okay," I assured him, starting to smile again.

"Alright, look, I gotta go, but you can get the spare key from Mary, and I'll meet you there," he suggested.

I screamed inside that he trusted me with a key.

Being rushed off the phone, he hung up and I'm glad he did because I almost accidentally ended that with a "love you." It just felt natural.

Jasmine shook her head at me with this wide smile.

"You're sprung," she teased, going with me to throw our trash away once finished with lunch.

"And what are you?" I joked back.

She gave me a trying look and I folded.

"Okay," I squealed, linking our arms on the way out. "maybe a little bit!"

***

A/n: hope you're enjoying thus far! Thanks for reading! I'm going to start— well try to— start updating every Thursday! Thanks for your patience🤍

Sorry these aren't edited (the best) lots going on but I wanted to push these out because I'm excited to see what y'all think!

Skip chapter 50 if you don't want to read all the smut hahahaha , you won't miss anything, chapter 51 will fill you in and that will be out next Thursday or sooner for a surprise!

Thank you. Love you
~Natasha