"When you begin a journey of revenge, start by digging two graves: one for your enemy, and one for yourself."

Chris Omar Vaughn

"I missed this," I whispered to Morgan, my eyes fixed on her breasts.

"I missed you," she replied in her girlish voice, watching me study her body.

I picked my neck up and found her sweet lips, kissing them once more.

"I missed you more," I let out, locking her fingers with mine. That was the most desperate, mushy shit I've ever said to a girl but I meant it, she needed to know how much I hate being apart.

She smiled, driving me wild, leaving me wondering what part of her I was going to invade next.

My finger outlining her nose, I just said whatever came to mind.
"Do you know how much you mean to me?" I asked, my hands roaming from her bodacious breasts to down her soft thigh, the other under her head and wrapped in her hair.

She just giggled, tangling her fingers in my hair as she lied under me, staring between my eyes.

"Seriously, Morgan," I made clear, "you mean something to me."

Before she could say anything back and let me know I didn't just embarrass myself with that confession, my phone rang.

Morgan shot me a suggestive look and grabbed my phone from the bedside stand, seeing who was calling at this time.

I couldn't keep my hands, or lips, off of her, kissing the space between her breasts as she read the caller ID.

"It's AJ." She joked. She had to be joking.

I should've blocked his number, he probably needs a ride or is drunk, trying to apologize, I thought in my head.

"What does he want?" I grumbled, snatching the phone from Morgan's hands.

"Hello?" I roared, standing to angrily pace the room.

"Hey, I know I shouldn't be calling you but I'm at this party and, is this your little cousin?" He rambled. "I just sent a picture."

My jaw clenched as I anxiously waited for the image to load.

It was Kailyn, low and behold, on the couch in sone smoky room at a party where she didn't belong. I shook my head, mad she lied about where she'd be tonight, claiming her cheer team had a movie marathon.

"Yeah," I growled. "that's her. I'll be there."

I hung up on AJ as he tried saying niceties and act like we're fucking cool just because he gave me some information.

In a hurry, I pulled my shorts back on and found a shirt and sneakers to slip into. 

I almost asked Morgan to stay behind but no way she would being that her new pupil's involved. So, I threw one of my tees at her.

"Come on," I rushed, "it's Kailyn!"

Without hesitation, Morgan dressed herself and followed me out of the apartment, barreling to the elevator and finally to my truck. 

"Chris, what's wrong, tell me," Morgan spoke up.

The radio wasn't even on, I just tuned her out because my thoughts were so loud.

What the fuck was my fifteen-year-old cousin doing at the same party as someone like AJ, and at his big age?

I was absolutely fuming, knuckles red from how tight I held the steering wheel.

"Okay, well let me drive," Morgan offered, voice trembling probably because I was doing eighty in a fifty.

I didn't answer her, trying to listen to Siri giving me directions to the location AJ sent me before I deleted his contact.

When I couldn't see the screen in the cup holder, I reached for it but Morgan beat me.
She held my phone in her hands and told me to take the next right. But I think I recognized the neighborhood, I dropped Jabari off nearby one day. Could be where he lived with his roommate but I never went to his place except once.

"What's your password?" asked Morgan.

I gave her a double take.

"Not right now, Morgan-"

"So I can text Jabari, you're clearly about to do something stupid, I'll feel better if he's there to have your back."

I swallowed hard, eyes stuck on the dark, otherwise empty road.

"Zero, zero, eight, five," I revealed, adjusting my grip on the wheel.

She successfully unlocked it and began typing quickly.

"How long until we're there?" I roared, growing something more than impatient.

"We're here; this house on the left," she answered, unfastening her seatbelt. Mine was never on. I parked the car, not even turning it off, and hopped out the second I was in the home owner's driveway.

There were several other cars, none I recognized besides AJ's beat up Mazda he rarely drove.

My heart pounded as I lunged up the few stairs to get to the front door.

Since it was a party, the door was open, letting just anyone in. Obviously.

Murmurs filled the interior of the two-story-home as I walked through the living room.

The lights were low and blue, music loud. People were at every turn but it wasn't packed.

"I don't see her," Morgan spoke over the loud rap.

I didn't either but I kept my eyes peeled, searching for that couch from the picture.

Passing under an archway, I laid eyes on Kailyn on the same couch, basically in the same position from the photo. Only, I could see more now, whereas AJ had zoomed in on her.
She was in a damn tube top, baggy black leggings, and those beat up ass Air Force One's. Back to her old ways, I see.

Next to her were some people I didn't know and didn't want to know. The whole placed smelled like piss and weed and no one there looked like they had any functioning fucking brain cells.

"Get up, let's go," I demanded, standing over the partygoers sunken in the couch.

"Chris? Morgan? What're you doing here?!" it's funny, there was a rage in her voice like she was the one who had any right to be pissed here, but she was about to be embarrassed in a second if she didn't get up.

"We're taking you home," Morgan spoke up, standing by my side.

"I don't want to go home," she sounded like a brat.

I angrily swiped the hand down my face and puffed my chest.

"Do you even know these people?" I asked.

"These people?" One girl on the couch questioned, looking for a problem where there wasn't one.

I rolled my eyes at her. "How old are you?"

"Old enough," the same girl sassed.

"Kailyn, get up. Now." I repeated.

"What are you going to do, drag me out?" She scoffed, still sitting there.

"If I have to," I argued, my eyes widening at her audacity.

Kailyn sucked her teeth and mumbled under her breath, slowly starting to stand.

I turned my back, just knowing she was following, but that's when I heard, "Aye, she ain't goin' nowhere."

I dropped my head, seeing someone felt like trying me.

Before I returned to face the couch, I looked at Morgan and she didn't say anything or wear a readable facial expression. Perhaps that was my green light.

I rotated to see who had the nerve to speak up.

"And who the fuck are you?" I asked, looking down at the guy who looked to be my age or older. Definitely older actually, despite his weak attempts to look younger with the Travis Scott braids, cubic zirconia jewelry, and mismatched Jordan's.

He blew the smoke from the hookah in my direction and I almost ripped it from his hands, who did he think he was? I was still waiting to know.

"I'm Kenny," he coughed, stretching out his hand. "Nice to meet you, big cuz. My little girl's told me a lot about you."

Little girl?

Then it hit me. I thought back to when I picked Kailyn up at the mall and she kept talking about her "ole' man."

Kailyn blushed, melting into his arm that wrapped around her shoulder.

He used two fingers to push her face to his and put his lips on hers.

I raised my fist but two of his goons stepped in front of the couch.

"Aye, back up," one barked.

It was just two of them, I could've handled them, but thought against it. I know the location, I could call the cops, I know it's a Karen ass thing to do, but I had to work smarter not harder if she wasn't going to cooperate with Morgan or myself.

"Kailyn, how old is this man?" Morgan asked after a deep, frustrated sigh.

"I can speak for myself, ma'am," this Kenny guy interrupted.

"I'm talking to her," Morgan stated, folding her arms.

He said, "And I'm talking to you."

I didn't like him. I didn't like that he had all blue on or the fact that he had grills or that he was wearing fake designer sunglasses inside at night. Fucking cornball.

How did Kailyn like this? I used to take her sledding, sneak her junk food past bedtime, and scare off all the little boys in the neighborhood that tried to even hold her hand. Now this.

"And why y'all come in here with all that, we just having fun? Get a drink, stay a while," he grinned, his dark hand sliding against the fabric of Kailyn's bottoms.

"Why don't we go in the back and finish what I was tellin' you about earlier?" He talked, passing her the hookah.

"Kenny, quit!" Kailyn screamed at his advances, slapping his hand away.

"Kailyn if you don't get up right now, I swear to God-"

"Fine," she huffed, jumping off of the couch.

"Wah," the other girl made fun. "I told you she was holding out."

Morgan grabbed her and examined her body, asking if she was alright. I could give a damn if she was alright, she wasn't about to be when we got back to my parent's house.

"I didn't want to have sex with him, I told him I wasn't ready, I swear!" Kailyn cried in Morgan's arms.

"She's fifteen!" I screamed at Kenny and his female friend that had all too much to say.

Kenny threw his hands up. "Chill, she told me she was nineteen."

My eyes cut to Kailyn and I stared at her coldly, making sure she knew I was disappointed.
"We'll deal with you later." I enforced.

I let my eyes roam the room and try to memorize as many faces as possible in case I ran into any of them again.

With Kailyn on Morgan's hip, I tried to make an exit.

"Where y'all going? Stay a while," a painfully recognizable voice crippled me for a second.

I exhaled and saw Rodney holding up the door.

With this sinister chuckle, he approached me in the middle of the dining room.

The music stopped abruptly and his crew of brainless followers surrounded him.

That's it. I gotta kill him this time, I thought in my head. There was seemingly no other way out of this.

"Rodney, get out of my fucking way," I grumbled, staring past his body.

"Jail bait can go. But one of y'all staying, whether it's you to get your ass beat, or this older snowbunny to get a train ran on her," Rodney taunted.

The guys behind him all hyped Rodney, rubbing their hands, clapping and hollering, or grabbing their junk.

Bones cracking. Blood everywhere. Screams I still hear in my nightmares. . .

The night I beat up his cousin quickly played in my head as clear as day.

I shook my head, trying to escape those thoughts. I didn't want to be brought back to that moment, but I was close.

Being on trial. David's teeth across the pavement. The feeling of a jaw dislocating under my fist. . .

I shuddered.

In the next instance, the sound of tires screeching and the door being busted in, brought me out of my head.

A broad-shouldered light skin man covered in arm tats, wearing a white tank, baggy jeans, and black Air Forces ambled inside. He had on a diamond wrist watch, a chain, and a red scarf in his back pocket.

As he got near, I saw he was shorter, maybe five-foot-ten, but walked big.

The room was quiet, all stood still.

"That's Trey," I heard someone whisper.

"When he get out of jail?" Another asked.

"Morgan! Chris!" Jasmine exclaimed, running towards us. Well, Morgan.
She had her hair in these flexible rods and wore a robe and Ugg slippers.

JB followed, leading six other men who all had tattoos, brands, and/or red bandannas as well.

The lights turned on and this Trey guy circled the room.

"Everyone, on the wall!" His heavy voice boomed.

The population all scattered, lining up against the walls with fear.

"Not you," he said to Morgan, Kailyn, and I. I didn't think so.

"You good, bro?" Jabari asked me.

I looked down at the gun on his hip and nodded.

The other men in red followed Trey, toting their guns.

Kenny trembled on the couch.

"What you shaking for, boy, look like you seen a ghost?" Trey kneeled down to Kenny.

Kenny stammered, "I-I did. You. W-what you doin' out so early, Trey? Thought they gave you life."

One of Trey's men clocked their guns and shook the guests.

"Now somebody tell me what's going on?" Trey demanded, looking around the room.

Rodney, sweating bullets, raised his hand.

"It was him! He was messing with little girls, we was just tryna get her out of here, for real, Trey," Rodney covered. What a bitch.

Trey returned his eyes to Kenny. "Little girls? How little?"

Kenny lied through his teeth. "Nah, nah, no little girls. I don't know what he talking about."

"Where is she?" Asked Trey.

All eyes shifted to Kailyn who was trying to hide behind Morgan.

"How old are you, little mama?" He asked.

"F-fifteen," she admitted.

Kenny flailed his arms and started to try and reason with Trey.

"My gun," Trey asked of one of his men. They handed it over and Trey made sure it had bullets, putting it under Kenny's chin.

He then pointed it at Rodney. Both of them started crying.

Trey stood and walked around the lined up guests.

He then found us at the dining table.

"You Chris?" he questioned. I nodded.

"Respect," Trey voiced, dapping me up.

He moved onto Morgan. "And you must be my sister's best friend I keep hearing so much about?"

Morgan smiled and gave him a hug.

"Nice meeting you both. Now, get outta here and make sure little mama learns her lesson. I'll make sure these two do." Trey warned.

"And them too, they were gonna run a train on me," Morgan added, filing out after myself, Jas, and JB.

No they weren't. I wouldn't let that happen, they'd have to kill me first.

As I was last out the door, I heard Trey demand the music be turned up, then he said, "I don't like pedophiles. Spent a lot of time with them in prison, sent a few out on a chopper. Stop cryin' like a little bitch, I ain't gonna shoot you. Nah. Have my niggas wish you was dead. Jump his ass, and Rodney too for snitching."

I shut the door, hearing grunts, skin being contacted, and pleading cries.

My eyes sealed shut for a second longer but laughter across the yard reeled me back in.

I walked to my truck and thanked Jas and JB for having our backs.

"Well, that's not exactly how I wanted y'all to meet my brother, but," Jas spilled.

"Make sure he doesn't get caught so I can hang out with him sometime," Morgan bubbled, holding her best friend's hands.

Jasmine and Jabari laughed together.

"Oh, Morgan, I love that you know nothing about how the streets work. Trust me, nobody is gonna tell on him," she replied.

That was assuring, I could use him if he's going to do all my dirty work.

"I don't know what would've happened if he didn't get here when he did," I exhaled, shaking my head at the thought. I'll tell you: I would've been in handcuffs or worse.

Again, everyone's eyes shot to Kailyn who thought she was getting off easy now.

"Little girl, you got yourself in a lot of shit us adults will now have to handle," Jasmine scolded Kailyn.

The street was sketchy, I didn't want to hang around anymore.

"Shit you ain't even ready for," Jabari added in, towering us all. I shook my head.

Kailyn started crying but that manipulative shit wasn't working on me, and I hoped Morgan wouldn't fall for it either.

"I'll let y'all handle that," Jas said to me, giving my body a squeeze.

"Night," Morgan sighed, embracing them both.

They let us know to text them later, making sure everything was okay once we got in, and I said they better do the same - updating me whenever Trey gets out of there.

I walked around the Durango and hopped in, slamming the door which I never do to my vehicle.

Morgan fastened her seatbelt and told Kailyn to do the same but I didn't wait to pull off.

"You're fifteen. Fifteen. You don't even know what sex is, what the fuck were you doing with him?" I demanded answers.

"I don't know!" She screamed.

"You don't know?! Are you stupid? That is rape. You're doing shit 'cause you think it's cute, lying about your age, that man could go to jail!"

"No he wouldn't. It's my fault, I lied!"

"You think the cops will see a thirty-year-old black man with a little white girl and take his side? You gotta grow up, Kailyn."

"What does race have to do with it? I loved him!"

I banged my fist on the steering wheel when my words weren't working.

I pulled over, literally about to strangle Kailyn for being so dense. Part of me wanted to cut her slack because she's a kid but that can't be her only excuse, there's some accountability she needs to take, she knew what the fuck she was doing.

Morgan turned in the seat to look at Kailyn.

"The point is, you're fifteen. I told you to slow down and be yourself. How'd you get back to this: drinking, lying to your parents, sneaking out, smoking?! Having sex, Kay?" Morgan listed, the disappointment clear in her tone.

"I wasn't gonna actually fuck him, he said we could take things slow." The more Kailyn talked, the more I wondered if it would be frowned upon as her older male cousin to put my hands on her.

"You have a lot to learn about life, about love, about men. You also have a lot of time. But I can't say anything else to try and change you, Kailyn."

"Well, help me. I'm only fifteen, I don't know what to do. I thought he loved me," she cried.

I kept my forehead on the steering wheel, staring blankly at the floor as she went on with that bullshit.

Morgan exhaled again. "I'm wiping my hands clean of you, Kailyn. This was wildly irresponsible."

"Morgan!" Kailyn's voice cracked.

"Start driving, Chris," Morgan instructed, sounding fed up.

"Morgan," Kailyn croaked, sniffling.

Morgan just turned back in the seat and faced forward.
"You should stop talking, we don't want to hear it." She said.

I pulled into my parent's driveway and turned off the truck.

The rest of the car ride was quiet other than Kailyn's crying.

Morgan met me at the front door and I let her inside before me, Kailyn took her time to get up the stairs.

Everyone was in the kitchen with Kailyn's bags packed.

I knew Julia and Kurt were already planning on leaving but they were going to let Jack and Kailyn stay since they liked it here so much.

Jack was asleep in my old room that was going to become his soon.

His parents worriedly paced through the kitchen, waiting for their daughters arrival.

Mom got up to let me sit in a chair which I offered to Morgan and she took it.

The smell of coffee was strong going up my nostrils. It was a little late for coffee but I guess they were stressed and needed the caffeine.

Carter sat in the chair to Morgan's right and kept asking her what happened, if we're fine. She just put her hand up at him and said, "It's okay."

He sat back, discouraged, and didn't say anything else, only tried to catch my gaze.

Kailyn eventually walked in and the house went into an uproar. She looked like a deer in headlights, slowly stepping towards the kitchen where we all were waiting to scold her.

"Okay, okay," Morgan reasoned, raking her hair as her blinks got longer in duration. "one at a time."

"I'll start," Julia raged, "where the hell were you, you lied to us?"

Kailyn rubbed her arm. "I went to a party."

"Well no wonder you looked cheap and reek of weed," her father, Kurt, hissed. His leg shook in the chair as he tried being seated.

"Chris, did you have anything to do with this?" Asked Carter, remembering the way I took the blame last time.

I just folded both arms over my chest and looked to Kailyn for the truth.

"No," she admitted. "and he didn't last time either."

The parents all flailed their arms and began talking at her.

"I want names of everyone who was there. Did anyone touch you? Who gave you the drugs?" Her mother went on, shaking her by the shoulders.

I pushed my weight off the fridge and spoke up. "That's all been taken care of," I let them know. They didn't need to do any snooping on that side of town, getting police involved, Trey was on it.

Julia cut her eyes from me and stared at her daughter. "I don't even know who you are anymore."

Morgan dropped her head, looking like those words cut her deep.

"I know. That's why I'm going to make sure I study, and listen to Morgan from now on, for real this time, so I can-"

"Ha. You think you're staying here after this? You're done, that's it, we're going back to Pennsylvania." Kurt reacted, alluding to their luggage.

"What, Dad, no?! I just got here, I can't leave, I'm co-captain," Kailyn tried to make her case.

Not a single one of us cared.

"You should've thought of that before," Mom commented, holding her mug with two hands. "Now I'm sorry, Kailyn, but I'm not going to have you here when you're under the influence and rebelling."

"But Morgan, tell them. Tell them I've changed, you helped me," Kailyn pled.

Morgan tore her eyes away from Kailyn before she gave in.

"Kailyn, I tried. You're a teen, acting out is expected, but this isn't okay. I did all I can do. I think going home is the best. Your parents talked about a nice private school that I think you'll get better at." Morgan sniffled, looking down at the floor instead of Kailyn's longing eyes.

"So not fair!" Kailyn screamed, running up the stairs.

When we heard the door slam, Julia fell into a kitchen chair and began weeping in her hands.

"There, there," Mom comforted her.

"Where did we go wrong?" Julia asked of she and Kurt's parenting.

"Can't blame yourself, your kids will do what they want, acting out, ignoring you..." Carter chimed in, eyeing me.

"Shut the fuck up," I groaned, head tossed back.

I seriously didn't know what to do if I was tried again for another time tonight.

Morgan's chair scratched the floor as she stood from it.

"Okay," she breathed out, one hand on my back and the other on my chest. "We should get going."

"Agreed," Mary said, blowing out a candle. She made sure all of the appliances were off and unplugged before walking us to the door.

"Everyone's had a long night. I lost my money at the casino, Julia and Kurt and Kailyn have an early flight to catch, and I'm sure this isn't how you two wanted to spend your Halloweekend," she conversed, seeing us out. "Good night. I love you two!"

***

November.

I was lost like a blind turkey in the woods when I returned to my job. My mind was somewhere else, I couldn't get my head right to work on any designs or whatever the fuck Reuben wanted.

He kept going on about the damn downtown project which was now being owned by The Jones's with help of my parents, and Morgan. I was excited for them, sure, but Reuben made everything so much harder than it needed to be. I see why his other best men quit. But I'm not a quitter, this was my dream - one of many- and I intend on seeing them come to fruition.

Knock. Knock.

I looked up from an empty iPad screen and saw Reuben walking in my office.

"How you feeling, champ? Better after lunch?" He made conversation, seating himself.

"Uh, no," I rasped, locking my screen so he wouldn't see I made no progress since noon.

"But thanks for that, the vegan food was great." I lied.

"Don't lie," he cackled, barely looking up from his second phone. "I know it tasted like stripper ass. Listen, once that restaurant is up, we can eat good everyday."

I laughed with him, rubbing my palms down my thighs.

"Yeah," my voice trailed off.

"About that, hey, I need you to stay late tonight," he said, standing.

I looked at the clock.

7:58pm

"It's already late, Reuben," I argued. "I worked fifty-five hours last week!"

"Yeah, and I appreciate you for it, but come on, you didn't do shit today, Chrissy."

"Don't call me that," I grumbled from my throat, eyes closed.

He laughed, checking his wrist watch. "I gotta go, but get it done, I want those designs on my desk by noon tomorrow. I know you can do it."

The lights started to shut off in the whole office and I dropped my jaw, flailing my arms.

He stopped by the door and waved a hand high for the monitor to pick up the motion and then the lights back on in my office only.

Reuben winked at me on his way out and patted the glass twice. "Get it done," he yelled, walking through the darkness.

Motherfucker.

I unlocked my iPad and had the idea to start sketching but a big yawn set me back.

"I need to smoke," I talked to myself, spinning in the office chair as I slid my hands down my face.

"Aye." I heard a voice speaking to me.

I stopped being childish on the wheels and faced the entrance.

"Oh, what's up, Trey? How did you know where I work?" I asked him.

He took his time to see everything like he'd never been in a workplace before.

"Don't worry about that," he said, ambling further in.

I frowned. "I mean, I'm kinda worried about it..."

He laughed, dapping me up. "This you?"

I looked around. "Yeah."

"It's nice, good to see someone doin' something with theyself, you know?"

I nodded. "How about you?"

He shrugged. "Shit, surviving. All a motherfucka can do out here. Look, I just came to say that shit between you and Rodney, that's dead."

I hung my head. "Shit, I don't know what to say."

"Don't say nothing. Jasmine said you cool people, that make you my people."

"What did you do?" I asked, curious.

I didn't care but I had to make sure it was enough that Rodney would finally leave me, and Morgan, the hell alone.

Trey sniffled. "May I?" He asked if he could roll up in my office.
Well, I wasn't going to tell him no.

He took a seat and started breaking down the weed for the blunt.

After some silence, Trey talked again.

With the bob of his head, lip pulled up, Trey said, "I squashed that shit."

Okay, well, now I think he killed Rodney, I thought. Mixed feelings but my hands are clean, so I won't lose sleep over it.

"Jas filled me in on yo little situation with Barbie," he said.

I corrected, "Morgan."

Trey chuckled, throwing his hands up in innocence. "My fault, you right. Aye, that's what you supposed to do for your girl. Well, I guess she ain't your girl? I know how that shit feel, when you can't have who you want. I been in the game a long time, before I went in, I was in college, thinking I was hot shit 'cause girls was throwing themselves at us. But I never wanted them. I met someone - Anthony. Well, a lot of my guys wasn't with that gay shit and I was a follower at the time, not ready to come out. Anthony got shot before we could ever be together, like, out loud, you know? Public. That shit hurt 'cause we was so good together but it's like... life didn't want us to be out there. And are you really in a relationship if nobody know? Not that you need anyone else validation but then it just seem like a secret, like y'all hiding. Me, I don't hide. Not no more."

He paused to seal the blunt and then put it in his lap.

Pointing a finger at me, Trey said, "Respect. I do shit for those I respect. I respect you. I don't respect Malcolm. Weed is one thing, but selling to kids, pushing hard drugs through here? I see why Morgan said she wants to get rid of him. I'm with that. See I don't mind going back- if I do go- not for something I believe in. And I believe he doing you wrong. Sneaking around, that ain't no way to live. The heart want what it want, Chris, trust me. You just gotta do something about it. So, what's it gonna be?"

I let his words marinate with me before saying anything.

He stood but didn't get much taller.

"I'll let you think on it. Here, if it helps," Jasmine's older brother offered his blunt to me.

I almost cried at his underrated gesture of goodwill. Okay, I didn't almost cry, but damn was he cool for that.
I wanted to say thank you but that sounded desperate, broke, and very white, so I didn't.

With that, Trey showed himself out, leaving me with his words:

"-that ain't no way to live. The heart want what it want... You just gotta do something about it. So, what's it gonna be?"