"To burn with desire and keep quiet about it is the greatest punishment we can bring on ourselves."

Chris Omar Vaughn

"Twirl me, Chris, twirl me!" Callie screamed. She was just drunk, trying to let loose. After what Morgan told me about her being depressed, I didn't want to let her down. No I didn't want to dance with her, I knew she was flirting with me. She was desperate, but seemed so in her element after dinner.

"My turn, my turn!" Quinn squeaked.

I looked down and smiled at the kid. "Shouldn't you be sleep?"

She stomped her little foot. "Twirl me, Chris!"

I took turns spinning them until my eyes fell on Morgan again in that goddamn dress.

He doesn't even dance, I thought in my head, scowling. It's like he's just rubbing it in.

Every time he dipped her, I was just waiting for her dress to malfunction. From the cleavage to the high thigh slit—

"Excuse me," I said to Callie in a growl, pushing her body away from me.

"Where are you going?" She asked, eyes wide.

"I'll be back," I explained even though I didn't need to.

Morgan's alluring eyes followed me as I walked to the bathroom another time, but I guess I wouldn't know that if I wasn't staring either, huh?

I just needed to wash my hands, cool off.

Morgan knew what she was doing, from making eyes all night, that dress, the way she "accidentally" brushed my leg at the table.

But she's in Malcolm's arms.

Teddy walked in during my inner monologue at the bathroom mirror.

"Sup," he voiced, walking straight to the urinal.

I stayed there until he stood at my side to wash his hands.

"Drunk?" He thought that's why I was standing there.

"Yeah," I played it off. I didn't even drink, and my high wore off.

"Malcolm looks real happy, don't he," Teddy made conversation, drying his hands with a paper towel after washing them.

I pushed my hair back under the hat and looked at him, chuckling sarcastically.

"You think?" I asked.

Teddy just shook his head to say no and walked past me, patting my back one hard time before leaving the restroom.

"Me either," I said under my breath as the door swung shut.

Callie found me as soon as I showed my face back on the dance floor. I wasn't even drunk enough to dance, I just v-lined for the bar.

"Can I buy you a drink?" She asked, appearing on my shoulder.

I awkwardly laughed her off. "You're asking to buy me a drink? You really are drunk."

You could smell the alcohol on her lips. It was actually sad she was drinking like that in front of Quinn.

"Hey, you wanna take Quinn home? She shouldn't be here," I commented, probably overstepping.

Callie jerked her neck back. "Are you offering to get me out of here?" She asked, hiccuping her way through the question.

I- no.

But that's when I saw Morgan and Malcolm having what looked like a pretty intimate conversation. Knowing him, he was talking at her, not letting her get a word in.

I sighed.

My eyes cut back to Caleen (Callie.)

"Sure," I agreed, feeling for the keys in my pocket when I got up off the stool.

"Quinn, let's go," she called for her daughter who was getting a little too crazy to the Baby Shark remix the house DJ played for the few kids in the building.

For the last time, Morgan laid her eyes on me. This time, though, Malcolm stopped talking long enough to notice she was never paying attention. He snapped his fingers in her face and then went on.

He finally wondered what she kept looking at and traced her line of sight but by the time he could see it was me, I was gone.

12:34am

"—Thanks again for taking us home, Chris," Callie slurred.

I used the keys that dropped from her purse to get into the master suite at my parent's B&B.

It was late, Quinn was asleep on my hip, and Callie was turning down, too.

She couldn't keep her eyes open and stumbled through the living room area.

There was one bed, Callie didn't get Quinn her own, yet, but I thought she better - I didn't move all the furniture for nothing.

I just gently put Quinn on the bed and then made sure Callie at least made it to the couch. She did, sloppily, but she did.

I almost cared enough to push her full body back onto the cushion as she was sliding off but I figured I'd done a lot already. Besides, she's drunk, she'd just slide right back off or magically make it to the bed.

As I crept out of the suite, I wondered what Morgan was doing. If she was letting Malcolm touch her, if she was fake laughing at his jokes, or having another drink and dancing?

My phone vibrated in my hand with a text from Malcolm. It read:

come over? Teddy and I have to run to Denver. Thanks

"Thanks," I mimicked, locking my phone without a reply. "Shut the fuck up."

In need of a snack before I hit the road, I snuck into the common kitchen and opened up the fridge.

"You used to call it a night snack," Carter's voice actually scared the shit out of me. "that's all you ever said 'can I get a night snack, Dad?"

He chuckled, enjoying a cup of coffee.

"Coffee, at night?" I asked him, pulling out a juice box.

On top of the little white fridge was a box of assorted chips. I grabbed a bag of Lay's originals and opened it up at the table.

Carter sat across from me, blowing before each sip.

"Better than vodka," he made fun of himself. I guess I respected that.

"Hm," I sounded, drinking through the straw to the apple juice.

"Look, about the other day," he said but I opened up just as fast.

"I'll help you with the house," I offered at random.

It was weighing on my heart. I kept battling with myself, my feelings. Be a good person— a good, mature son— or stay true to my feelings? I didn't like that he just came waltzing back, in fact, it pissed me off. The way my mother just accepted him like he didn't leave us.

For her sake, though, I'd like to try and get along with him. This time seems different, permanent.

Carter removed the "worlds best dad" mug Mom got him a few Father Day's ago from his crooked lips.

"What?" He asked, blinking.

I sipped the juice box all the way down to the bottom until it just started sucking air and the carton shrunk in my hand.

With an "ahh," I tossed it into the trash can a few feet away.

After pushing some chips into my mouth, I finally repeated, "I will help you build the house. For Quinn." And Mom, too.

"I'm sorry, I can't— one more time."

I almost said it again then I realized what he was doing.

"Ha ha," I sarcastically laughed.

"Thank you, son," Carter talked as I looked down at my phone. "that actually means a lot."

Malcolm texted:

???

I'm gone. Be here in the next thirty minutes. Thanks.

When I stood, Carter looked confused.

"You're leaving?" He asked me.

I stretched and looked at the time.

"Hey, what are you doing here so late?" I asked him.

He got up to walk me to my truck.

"Uh, Mary hasn't let me back in the house, yet. She said she didn't want to rush things, fall into old cycles," he explained, not sounding too proud.

Speaking of, I hoped Morgan was still in her own bedroom, and not sharing one with Malcolm. He moves fast, I'm surprised he even gave her the luxury of privacy to begin with.

"Hey, Chris," he said after I pulled open the door.

"Yeah?"

"Morgan," he started to say.

My interest was peaked. "What about her?" I asked.

"That's my question. What is a girl like that doing with Malcolm, y'know?" He looked puzzled.

"Why are you asking me?" I got defensive.

Shit, did I say something about her out loud on accident?

He hunched his shoulders under the green robe. "You know your uncle more than I do is all," Carter cleared up.

Oh, I see, that's what this is about. . .

For years I had been trying to figure out how, when, and why things went wrong between them. I had a lot of theories, and they all made sense, but no one would confirm or deny.

When I looked away from Carter, trying to rush to the goodbyes, he got the hint.

Pushing me door closed once I got inside, he said, "Just be careful, Chris."

~~~

I texted Malcolm that I finally made it to his place. He didn't reply but I know he saw it.

You know, as much as I hate to see it, it was refreshing that he cared so much about his "darling."
He didn't have to worry though, with me, she was in good hands.

"MORGAN!" I called, trying to see if she was asleep or not.

The house was empty, quiet. Too quiet.

I jogged up the stairs and started down the dark hallway.

Two doors past the red bathroom on the left: Morgan's lavender quilted bedroom. Or whatever the fuck Malcolm called it.

Her bedroom had double doors that needed to be pulled apart. Spoiled.

I pulled and instantly regretted it when the bright ring lights hit my face.

Morgan was in the corner of the room dressed in next to nothing, making TikToks.

"—Oooh he coming off way too pushy, I hope he don't think he was getting this pussy! Uhh, he likes his bitches psychotic; sit on his face and explain why I'm toxic," she mouthed the rap lyrics.

I'm sorry, I had to laugh.

Morgan jumped out of her skin, scared, and stopped recording.

"What the hell," she screamed at me.

"Sorry, sorry," I cracked up, walking further inside the room.

It was my first time being in there since she moved in.

"No, don't... stop," I said questionably, being sarcastic.

It would've been sexy, well it was, but funny because she missed a step and tried playing it off. Plus I scared her.

"That's embarrassing," she mumbled, turning off the technology.

"Yeah," I agreed lowly.

She smacked her lips and lunged over to the bed where she rewatched the video.

"I'm keeping this, by the way," she let me know.

I just continued walking around the room. It smelled good, like she did. I picked up a kind of candy scent but flowers, too. And that made sense when I picked the candle off of the dresser and read "floral candy."

Ahh.

"What do you want?" She asked me, throwing her naked phone across the bed.

Pretty big bed, I made a mental note.

"Uh, thought you'd wanna pay patty-cake, no? Chew me out some more?"

She flickered her eyes. "I've done enough of that, Chris."

There she goes again, accentuating my name.

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, well, I'm having company, so."

She blinked her long eyelashes rapidly. "Who is it, Kenzie?"

"No, it's not Kenzie," I mocked her small voice. "And you know too much."

She shrugged, feeling pretty proud of her response.

"Just stay up here and go to sleep, alright? It's late," I bossed, walking out.

"Not gonna tuck me in? Wow," She drawled before blowing a raspberry and clapping off the lights.

Note to self: the lights clap on and off.

~~~

I kind of blew things with Kenzie, I just wasn't feeling her. We'd known each other for a while but her eyes were really far apart and she had a big forehead, like a caveperson. I didn't like it.

AJ knocked and I quickly opened the door before he kept doing so.

"Didn't I tell you to text me when you're here?" I yelled, pulling him inside by his shirt.

"I did," he answered, shoving beer at my chest. "and then I knocked."

I shook my head. "The point was so you didn't wake up Morgan."

"She's here? Hell yeah wake her up," he raged.

That's when there was another knock at the door.

I mugged Adriel.

"Who is that?" I grunted, pointing to the door.

"I invited some girls, what? They're hot-"

"Shut the fuck up," I mumbled, powering back to the front door.

Two girls greeted me with sensual waves, one definitely a fake blonde, the other with box-dyed bright red hair.

I wasn't supposed to have people over really, AJ was an exception because he gained Malcolm's trust.

But since they're already here. . .

~

"Okay, okay, my turn," the blonde shrieked.

I nodded, finishing my second can of beer.

"Would you rather be super fast or super strong?" She asked the group.

"Ooh, good one!" AJ, high, exclaimed.

"She's so deep, I told you. Such a good question, Ash!"

Oh, Ashely's her name! I'd been calling her Vanessa all night.

The girls were... vapid. Just dumb. I don't think they and a lot going on upstairs, but they smoked up AJ's weed and liked to play drinking games.

"Super fast," I answered easy in the conversation pit.

"Same," Ashley agreed.

Her friend, Jodi, gasped. "Ash, that's what I was gonna say!"

"TWINS," they bubbled, wiggling their fingers.

I looked to AJ, hoping he was seeing how weird they were, but he was far gone.

"I'd rather be super strong, what the fuck?" Adriel appealed.

We all looked at him.

"Why?" I asked slow.

"Why would you need to be fast, that's wasting energy? If I'm strong, I can fight, and jump high," he tried to say.

"But if you're fast, like lightning speed, you can go anywhere, run on water-" I expressed.

He wasn't buying it. "Okay, I can probably run on water, too if I'm strong? And I'll be fast 'cause that's just leg muscles and I'm strong."

"But what is being strong gonna get you if you rob a bank and get caught? Exactly. If I'm fast, I can just run away and not get caught," I argued.

"They won't catch me!"

"How?"

"Bro, I'm strong as shit I can just punch the cops."

"But if you're fast they won't even be able to catch you!"

"And what if you get shot?" He asked, sucking his teeth.

The girls and I groaned as a collective. AJ's a headache, really.

"I'm too high for this," Ashley slurred, outing her head on ... uh... Jodi's shoulder. Yeah, Jodi.

"I won't get shot 'cause I'm so fast, the bullets won't even touch me," I tried getting through his brain.

"Okay and if I'm strong I can just punch the bullets and stop them," AJ rebutted.

I let him sit there and think about that for a second.

Punch... bullets?

When it clicked, he sank in the seat and said "oh," passing the joint to Ashley.

She shook her head. "I don't want it," she groaned.

I put my hand up, not wanting to hit the roach either.

"I need air," Jodi spoke up.

"Come on," Adriel volunteered, showing her out back.

Ashley could never smoke with me again. She got way too high, her red ass eyes were scaring me, like they she popped a fucking vessel. It just wasn't cute, and she couldn't hold a conversation.

I shuffled the UNO cards in my lap as I watched Scary Movie 2 on the big screen.

"Excuse me?" I knew that voice.

I turned and saw Morgan stepping closer.

Ashley sat up. "Has she been there the whole time?"

"Who is this?" Morgan asked.

"Ashley," the girl said.

Morgan stood over us. "I'm talking to him. Who's this?"

"Ashley," I answered the same.

Morgan looked down at both Ashley and I. "You're having a sneaky link while you're supposed to be watching me?"

"Aww," Ashley sounded. "Wait. You look a little too old to need a babysitter."

"Exactly!" Morgan and I huffed at the same time.

"I was in danger, Chris, and you weren't there. Again," Morgan complained, folding her arms across her chest.

I stood up because I didn't like being looked down on.

"What happened?"

"...I burned myself."

I did a once over. "You look fine."

"Thank you, I know," Morgan smiled.

"I can leave if, like, something's going on?" the girl said. I forget her name.

Morgan looked between the two of us and then at the scene. Fireplace on, music playing, tv on low, beer, weed, and card games.

"Are you two about to have sex, or something?" Morgan asked.

"Ye-" I was ready to answer but Morgan interjected.

"I'm talking to her," Morgan made clear.

The girl said, "I don't know? Were we?"

Well definitely not now.

"Ash," the other girl stumbled in. "We gotta go, I threw up chunks in the pool."

"Oh my gosh, Jodi, are you okay?" Her friend came to her aide.

Adriel stalked inside, looking disgusted and traumatized.

Morgan and I held our noses as the Jodi girl walked past.

"I told you, Jodi, you can't eat before you smoke and then look at water, the movement and sound always make you sick," the blonde walked her out.

It remained silent until the door shut.

I watched on the monitor as the more sober friend drove out of Malcolm's driveway.

"Well," Morgan gushed, clasping her hands together. "my job here is done. Good night!"

~~~ The next time Malcolm needed me over. It happened again ~~~

"What was your name again?" I asked the brunette.

"Sammi," she giggled, walking through the kitchen.

"Hey, Sammi!" Morgan appeared out of nowhere.

She slammed the refrigerator on my hand and took the glass of champagne I just poured.

Sammi looked at Morgan up and down.

Maybe she wouldn't have if Morgan ever wore regular clothes to bed, but no, it's always underwear and a loose t-shirt or a tank top and the shortest possible shorts.

"Who are you?" Sammi asked.

"No, who are you?"

~~~ And the next time ~~~

"—I didn't think you'd reply to my texts and here we are," Jenny emoted, outside by the pool.

I couldn't get a word in.

She talked again. "It's like, I saw you on Insta and liked all one hundred and fifty two of your pictures. At first I thought you were gonna think I'm crazy, but here we are!"

I parted my lips to speak up, but she went on.

"So is this a date? I sure hope so, I already posted it on my socials. Hashtag: Jis! Or no, Chrenny! Anyway, you're not seeing anyone else are you? That would suck, I totally cut off all seven of my potentials for you. Well, they didn't reply to me, yet, but I was so going to cut them off for you."

Morgan slid open the glass door and blew into a megaphone bullhorn.

"I. Can't. Sleep. With. You. Talking." Morgan's voice bounced on every word, scaring the freckle-faced girl.

I laughed as she ran through the gate.

Morgan met me at the pool chairs and blinked, waiting for me to say anything.

"Thank you for that one," I sighed, holding my fist out.

Morgan bumped it. "Don't mention it."

~~~ Anddddddd the time after that ~~~

"Ooo, popcorn!" Morgan exclaimed, jumping in between my guest and I.

Hannah scoffed. "Excuse you?"

"You're excused. What are we watching?" Morgan bubbled, offering me the popcorn I made.

At this point, she was just comedy.

"We're watching Mission Impossible," Hannah barked, taking the bowl of popcorn from Morgan's hands.

Morgan kept the handful she had and nudged me.

"I bet I can do six in a row," she bet.

"I'll bite," I said, sitting up. I reached across Morgan and stuffed my hand in the bowl.

"I can do seven," I boasted.

"No you can't," Morgan said, squinting her eyes at me.

"One, two, three," I counted down. On 'three' we tossed the popcorn in the air.

We both caught the first one on the first try.

"A-hem," Hannah sounded.

When she stood, frustrated, so did Morgan and I.

"Chris, can you put her down already and pay attention to me?" Hannah nerved.

If Morgan had half the mouth I knew she did, I was worried for Hannah.

"Pam, please," Morgan snarled.

"Pam?" Hannah and I questioned.

"Who's Pam?" Hannah asked me. I shrugged.

Morgan looked the the brown-haired-girl, then at me, scratching her head.

"Ashley?" Morgan guessed.

"Uh, no," Hannah griped.

"Jodi?"

Hannah shook her head.

Morgan tried again. "Sammi?"

Hannah stomped her foot. "No!"

Morgan flailed her arms and then said, "No offense, but you don't look like a Sha'quita.... A-are you?"

"That's it!" Hannah stormed off.

Once the door slammed shut, I watched Morgan take the bowl of popcorn and walked around the couch.

"Sha'quita? Really?" I questioned, shaking my head.

Morgan, headed for the stairs, looked back at me. "What? You brought a girl named Sha'quita over before."

"Her name was Sha'nyla!" I had to raise my voice, holding back my laugh.

Morgan raised her hands in the air, starting up the steps. "You say tomato, I say potato!"

~~~ But there was one time ~~~

"—I just feel like you're never here," I heard morgan complain as I stood outside Malcolm's study.

She can't really be sad about not spending time with him, can she? That's a good thing.

I stayed out of side, but kept my ear to the cracked door.

"Morgan, not this again," he roared, packing his suitcase.

Huh. He called her by her name this time, must be serious.

"It's been three weeks, Malcolm, did you ever plan on spending time with me?" She whined.

He let out a deep sigh. "When I can, darling."

Oh, there it is.

"What did you bring me out here for, then?" She asked my same question.

"You can't even sleep in my bed like a decent goddamned girlfriend," he hissed, losing his cool for a moment.

"Malcolm," she pondered, sounding defeated.

"Chris is on his way, we'll talk about this another time," I heard Malcolm bark.

Before he could exit the office, I was already at the main door, acting like I was just getting there.

"Chris, hey," Malcolm breathed out.

I grabbed his hand and slapped his back. "Hey. You out?"

"Thank God," he grumbled, signaling Teddy over.

Teddy slid his hand against mine then went to start his boss's car.

"Rough night?" I asked just because.

"No," he lied, checking the time on his favorite Audemar watch.

I nodded.

Morgan appeared in the foyer with her hair in a messy high bun, strands flying everywhere and framing her face and neck, fuzzy pink slippers, and this grey, v-neck floral lace mini night gown.

Malcolm pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Morgan, here, was just going to bed. Good night," he bellowed.

When she stomped up the stairs, he patted my arm and said he'd be back around four or five in the morning.

To be honest, I had no idea what business he did so late/early, and I didn't ever care to ask.
As long as he never asks me to take that hour drive at some crazy time. . .

When the door closed, I made sure it was locked and then shut down the rest of the house.

Usually, I made myself comfortable in a guest room on the first floor if I didn't fall asleep in the sunken living room first.

1:36am

I tried to go to sleep. I did. Podcasts didn't do it, cartoons didn't put me out, nothing.

Bored, I went to see if Morgan was awake. I still had to get her back for running away all those girls before, too.

I pulled the doors apart and was hit with the 'honey blossom' scented Yankee candle.
I liked that every time I entered her room, she had a different candle lit. Almost like they matched her mood, or something, she changed them out like underwear.

Morgan herself, had one scent, it was Valentino, I think. It's nice, sweet, and she used just enough.
I knew because my mother told me she wanted it for Mother's Day, made me keep the sample, but I forgot to actually get it.

Morgan was sitting criss-cross over the plush covers on the bed.

"No girl tonight?" She asked before a small yawn.

"No, not tonight," I shot back, looking at all the framed pictures of her, Callie , and Quinn.

"Tartar sauce," Morgan sassed, sarcastically snapping her fingers. "Next time."

"Next time, yeah. Hey, can you fight?"

Morgan just looked at me for a minute. "C-can I fight?"

"Yeah," I chuckled, sitting down in the chair at the corner of the large room.

"No," she said, shaking her head. "absolutely not. I just like to argue, well, with you. Why, is the next girl feisty?"

I laughed, rubbing my neck. "So if someone tried to fight you?"

"I'd curl into a ball. I'm too pretty to fight, and I don't like violence," she said so serious.

Well that's true, I thought in my head. And, noted.

Morgan just made me laugh, she's funny without trying.

"What are you doing up?" I asked, concerned.

"I couldn't sleep," she said, rubbing her eyes like a kid. "Bad dream."

"Those are called nightmares," I corrected.

"Again," she groaned, throwing her arms. "you say tomato, I say potato!"

And again, she had me laughing. That dumb ass saying.

"Well, uh, I'm gonna go downstairs, it's late," I yawned, standing.

"I just told you I had a nightmare and you're going to leave me?"

I nodded, slow. "What do you want me to do, Princess?"

She rolled her back. "I don't know, your job, and protect me?"

"That's not my job," I mumbled, heading towards the door.

Pat. Pat.

I looked back and saw Morgan rubbing the space beside her in bed.

She flashed a convincing smile and lifted the blankets.

This is wildly inappropriate, but SO insanely tempting.

I'm just doing my job, I rationalized it. I'll stay on my side, and she'll stay on hers. Easy.

But the idea that I'd be laying next to her in the very bed, and possibly on the same sheets, she pleasures herself on, drove me wild.

My chest inflated, debating in my thoughts.

She slouched. "Come on, I can't go to sleep if you're not beside me."

I cleared my throat.

"Why's that?" I asked, stepping out of my shoes first.

"Ugh. I'm not going to stroke your ego and say it's because I need some big, strong man to comfort me. No. When I was a kid I had nightmares sometimes and I'd run into my parent's room, and they stopped. I would fall asleep so fast, knowing they were there."

I faked a yawn and Morgan threw a pillow at me that I picked up off the floor.

I laughed, emptying my pockets on the stand before lying down.

It wasn't easy to restrain myself, but I made myself under the covers.

Morgan rolled over so her back was no longer facing me, hair all in my face, her bun tickling my nose.

"What was the nightmare about?" I asked, locking my fingers under my head as I stared out of the high window.

Morgan whispered, "The boogeyman."

I let a laugh slip. "You moved in with him."

All of a sudden, Morgan put her leg on me.

I inhaled strong. She's testing me.

Chris, I talked to myself.
It's just a leg. The smoothest damn leg I've ever felt, but still. The contrast of her soft flesh against the hair growing down mine, plus the feel of the satin sheets under us— Down boy.

"Can't you stay on your side of the bed?" I groaned.

"My bed, so it's all my side. And no, I can't sleep if my leg isn't up."

"Did you do that to your parents, too?"

"Very funny, no."

"Remind me to get you one of those pillows," I snarked. But I liked it. She felt small under me and I liked that I could be there after she had a nightmare.

"No thanks, you're perfect," she exclaimed, squeezing me tight. "Mmm, and you're warm."

I twisted the smile off of my face and said, "If you're cold then turn off the fan?"

"Can't, I have to sleep with it on."

"That makes no sense," I replied.

But honestly, I did the exact same thing. It just feels better.

Morgan put her head on my chest and I tried controlling my heart beat if I could.

"Oh," she remembered, sitting up. "the lights."

"No, let me do it," I burst.

CLAP. CLAP.