SEASON 1, EPISODE 19

"You've really never been shopping before?" Katarina Winchester exclaimed, her voice ringing with genuine shock and, Mara thought, pity.

In all her days as a reaper, Mara had never known she was missing out on anything. She'd always been satisfied with what she had. Even if her surroundings were always a little bleak, the floating gray specks and colorless tint of the In-Between ceasing to provide any vivid sights, ferrying people to their afterlife was all she'd ever known. But now, after being treated like an actual human by Kat Winchester, she realized that the mundane acts of humanity were the ones that should be held closest to her heart.

Mara shook her head, a gentle laugh bubbling from her lips as Kat's eyes widened. "You'll have to excuse me, but I had no idea shopping was supposed to be fun."

"It is, to some people," Kat said. Her voice was benign and tender, a stark contrast to the way her brothers spoke. "I like it because it's an escape. You know, from the hunting and all. It's refreshing to be able to do something normal every once in a while."

"I can understand that."

Mara ran a hand over a row of sweaters, relishing in the way the soft fabric felt against her fingertips. In the temporary silence that hung in the air between her and the young girl that was walking adjacent from her, she couldn't help but grin at the truth in the words she'd just spoken. Though it would only be for a moment, and she would shortly have to begin the abnormal act of hunting that was so against her very nature, it was a joyous occasion to be participating in something as normal as hunting. When she'd spent months of her life bowing at the feet of demons, it felt like a weight being lifted from her shoulders as she walked through the aisles of Dillard's. Especially since it distracted her from how she'd abandoned Meg and Azazel.

"Yeah, I guess you can," Kat acknowledged as she lifted a purple sweater from the nearest shelf. She held it up for Mara to see, and when the reaper's features twisted into an expression of disgust, Kat laughed and said, "I didn't like it that much, either."

"So, what's it like? Being a reaper, I mean," Kat added. Mara was comforted by the casual way she spoke. It showed her that, despite every reason Mara had given her to be, Kat wasn't talking to her because she wanted to ease her suspicions. Maybe, just maybe, Kat was genuinely trying to be a friend to Mara.

A few older women rose an eyebrow in Mara's direction, and she ducked her head. 'Other than being glared at for my clothes?' she wanted to say, but instead, she simply shrugged.

"It's quite simple, really," she explained to Kat, her eyes drifting to the pictures of people that decorated the walls of the store. "I touch whatever soul Death tells me to touch. And then, depending on the soul, I lead them to heaven, hell, or purgatory."

"So you can just tell where someone goes?" Kat asked, her shaped brows knitting together in confusion.

Mara nodded, encouraging Kat to ask with a glint in her eye, "Where am I going?"

Mara shook her head, a hint of a smile worming its way onto her lips. She knew exactly where Kat would go when she died. The shimmering white gleam her soul gave, when Mara made an attempt to look at it, left no room for mistakes in that department. Instead of telling Kat this, Mara simply said, "I cannot tell you that."

Kat nodded. "I figured, but it was worth a shot."

As the two girls continued to trudge through the aisles of the 'women's department', Mara couldn't help but stare in awe at her surroundings. She'd been inside a clothing store before, of course. But she'd never been granted the opportunity to look at it the way it was meant to be looked at, without the depressing layer of gray the In-Between painted over it disfiguring her view.

It was beautiful. Nearly every object in the department store had a beauty to it that threatened to take Mara's breath away. The vibrant white walls, the multicolor clothing that adorned every shimmering rack, and even the rusted handle of the cart Kat was pushing made Mara never want to leave. How was it fair that, just because she was born a servant of Death, she would have to live most of her life without the treasures of the human world?

Suddenly, denim blue filled Mara's line of sight, and her attention was drawn back to the soft-hearted girl in front of her.

"What do you think of this?" Kat asked, her gaze expectant as she waited for Mara to speak. The item she held in her hand was very similar to what she wore herself, the faded blue jeans sporting a few holes along its sides.

Mara's eyebrows shot up. "I get to wear pants?"

"Of course," Kat laughed. Mara grinned so wide that she was sure the tips of her lips reached her eyes.. Kat's smile widened, her lips releasing another light-hearted giggle, and she dropped the jeans in the cart in front of her as she noted, "I'll take that as a yes. I think black might look better on you, though, so I'll put a black pair in the cart, too. Sam and Dean will just have to deal with it if they think we're spending too much money."

"What did you say?" a deep voice boomed from behind Mara.

She whipped around to see who it was, her shoulders taught and ready for a fight, but her posture eased when she saw it was only Dean, with Sam trailing along behind him. Dean's eyes bulged when they landed on the heaps of clothes that lied in Kat's shopping cart, his emerald irises softening only slightly when they landed on Mara. Mara squirmed under his watchful gaze, and she was grateful for the distraction when Kat spoke up, saying, "Mara doesn't have any clothes. I figured it was only right for her to have more than one outfit, and she's a small enough size that she has tons of options."

Dean's chin jutted forward, his expression falling flat and his eyebrows dropping to a lower position. "How long do you think she's staying with us?"

"As long as she wants," Kat asserted.

Her eyes were unwavering as they stared at Dean, and it became glaringly obvious to Mara that her attitude had shifted since her brothers showed up. Where she was sweet and easy to laughter in her exchanges with Mara, she was tough and immovable whenever Sam and Dean were around. She was more silent, even. The surge of warmth Mara felt from Kat standing up for her was quickly diminished when she began to ponder over why Kat acted in such a way around her siblings.

"Whatever," Dean grumbled, still glancing at the clothes in the cart every few seconds. "But it's coming out of your credit card."

"Fine."

"And hurry up," Dean continued, provoking Kat to roll her eyes. Dean's eyes, however, drifted to Mara's dress as it brushed against the row of clothes behind her. "She's getting dirty looks for that."

◈◈◈

The dressing rooms were even more intriguing than the rest of the store, if that was possible. There was a room with no purpose other than to harbor people, particularly Sam and Dean, while they waited, there were peculiar paintings hung on nearly every wall that showed your own reflection.

Mara gazed at herself for what seemed like hours as Kat locked the door to the room they'd chosen. She hadn't seen her own reflection in so long that she'd nearly forgotten what she looked like. Her hair was brighter than she remembered, its long blonde strands curling into neat waves that fell over her shoulders. Her lips were a shade of pink that she hadn't known existed, and the curves of her face complimented her features in a way that was bolder than Kat's but, Mara thought, not quite as pretty.

Her face might not have been as daintily pretty as what she assumed was admired by human's, but she had more appeal than she'd imagined. If she didn't know that her thoughts were likely delusional, she might've thought her looks were one of the reasons Dean's gaze resembled awe when he looked at her. Alas, she knew it couldn't be true. Judging by the things he said about her when she was around, he despised her company - he didn't admire her.

"Mara? Did you hear me?" Kat's voice spoke, emanating a kindness that was pleasant enough to pull Mara from her dreamlike thoughts about Dean. She was glad Kat had spoken and distracted her. She was a reaper - she shouldn't have been entertaining such possibilities about a human like Dean.

Mara shook her head. "No, sorry. Could you repeat what you said for me?"

"I asked if you wanted to try on the jeans first or the jackets," Kat repeated, holding a pair of blue jeans in one hand and a red, leather jacket in another.

"I get to try them on?"

Kat nodded eagerly, and Mara beamed. She hadn't known she would get to try the clothes on before Kat bought them. She probably should have known, but she'd just figured she would have to wear whatever Kat bought without getting to say what she thought about each item of clothing. That's how it'd been with the Winchesters so far, after all - having to stay speechless while they argued about her. But, Mara hoped, Kat was different than her brothers.

"What did you think we came in here for?" Kat giggled, handing Mara the pair of jeans. "After this, we're going to McDonald's. I assume you haven't ever been to one, and you haven't lived until you've had a Big Mac."

After trying on a few different pairs of jeans, Mara decided on a faded blue one as her favorite, earning a grin from Kat. The Winchester girl began lifting tops from the cart, and the girls laughed as they took turns trying on the different shirts. When Mara eventually decided on a loose, white shirt and a brown leather jacket that, coincidentally, beared a resemblance to Dean's, Kat announced that she should show Sam and Dean what she'd chosen.

"This isn't to ask for their approval," Kat assured as she straightened the collar on Mara's jacket. "It's just to show off a little bit."

Mara nodded, allowing one last glance at her reflection. She looked like a completely different person. She was entirely covered in clothing that felt odd, the rough material of the jacket brushing against her skin and the jeans resting tighter on her waist than she was used to, but she felt comfortable in what she had chosen.

Her newfound confidence in the way she looked wavered when she stepped into the waiting room and saw the looks on the Winchesters' faces. Sam didn't appear to be bothered by her appearance, but Dean - his jaw had fallen and his eyes had widened the same way they had when he'd seen the clothes in Kat's shopping cart.

Was there something wrong with the clothes she'd picked? She'd found the cinnamon coloring of the jacket appealing, but perhaps Dean felt otherwise. The tight jeans were vastly divergent from the flowing dress she'd worn before, but she found herself happily growing accustomed to the way the fabric was wrapped securely around her legs. Mara knew she wasn't supposed to be looking for Dean's approval, as Kat said. But she found herself looking anyway.

"Is it bad?" Mara asked, surprised at how thin and frightened her voice sounded. Dean's expression didn't change, leading Mara to believe that his unspoken answer was 'no'. "If it's bad, I can change."

Mara tugged at the hem of her jeans, pulling them down a few inches in a backwards reflection from how Kat had shown her to put them on. It didn't take more than a moment for Mara to discern that changing had been the wrong choice. In less than a second, Kat's hands had shot out to pull Mara's hands away from the jeans, and Dean had leapt up to stand in front of the reaper.

"Thank God, the room was empty," he breathed, his words coming out in an uncharacteristic stutter.

"Mara," he said, gesturing for Kat to let go of the reaper's hands. He curled his shaking fingers around the loops of Mara's jeans and slowly pulled them back up around her waist, his steady movements suggesting that the action made him nervous. "You can't just take off your clothes like that."

Mara frowned. She gathered that now, due to the way the Winchesters had acted, but how was she supposed to know that before?

She lifted her gaze to observe Dean's broad features. His jaw was tilted to one side, as it did every time he smiled, but this smile seemed to waver much more than his other ones. His cheekbones were painted a dark red, and his forehead wasn't embellished with the worried wrinkles he typically wore. As his eyes locked onto hers and the blush in his cheeks deepened, Mara was surprised to find that her own face was growing warm, too.

"Uh, maybe we should get you changed back into your old clothes so we can check out and leave," Kat suggested.

Dean cleared his throat and nodded, his voice returning to its deep tone as he took a step back from Mara. "Yeah. Yeah, that's a good idea. We'll wait for you guys out here."

"Come on, Mara," Kat said, tugging on the reaper's arm as a gesture for her to follow.

As they turned a corner and walked into the hall that contained the many dressing rooms, Kat spoke up again, sounding amused as she said, "I know you didn't know any better, but just as a heads up, don't ever get dressed in front of Sam and Dean. They're Neanderthals, like every other man. They would look at you in a way that isn't exactly polite."

"Hey!" a voice sounded from the other side of the wall, a voice that Mara quickly realized belonged to Sam. "We can hear you!"

Kat exchanged a look with Mara, and as they both erupted into fits of laughter, Mara couldn't help but think that she was the luckiest reaper who'd ever lived.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

I haven't done an author's note for this book yet but I figured I would do one now to check in with you guys! What do you guys think of this story so far? Of Mara? Are there any questions you want answered or anything you want to see happen?

Basically, I'm just looking for some feedback! I hope you guys are enjoying Mara's story so far, and I really appreciate all the love this book has been getting, especially since it just hit 1k a few days ago! Thank you all so much!