Happy New Years in my time :) I hope you enjoy this chapter and this stuffed animal that I thought looked so much like Baekhyun hahaha

I'm srry for fukin up the story, I hope you enjoy!

[♤]

PART THREE
"I N E E D Y O U"
III : VI

Baekhyun loved him.

Chanyeol felt as if he couldn't breathe—but at the same time, he felt as if he was taking the biggest breath.

"W-What," Chanyeol began, taking a step back in shock. What did he mean, he loved him even when he was with Sehun? What did he mean when he said he still loved him?

He hadn't expected this after going in search of Baekhyun that day. It was no coincidence that they had met that night—Chanyeol had waited two hours at the club just to see if he could find Baekhyun. He had dressed incredibly warm just to make sure he wouldn't be locked out anywhere in thin clothes, planning—mostly—everything before going.

Even earlier than that, he had dropped by at the other's place and waited for a while, even calling Baekhyun's phone multiple times. When that didn't seem to work, Chanyeol assumed that his ex-boyfriend had shut off his phone for the sake of Christmas or because he just didn't feel like interruptions.

Chanyeol left after that, brooding while he sat in his apartment. He remembered denying Wendy's invitation to party over at her place for a few hours, and instead thought of where else Baekhyun could be. It was at that moment that he remembered how he met Baekhyun last time; partying at a club all by himself.

He had swiftly made his way there, not even bothering to change out of his huge red jacket. Sometime while he was waiting, he had unzipped it and Chanyeol guessed that after waiting at the club for so long, Baekhyun must've slipped in when he wasn't paying attention and was doing stupid things like that. He was glad that they finally found each other when the night was about to end. 

He was expecting to be punched in the face sooner or later (which did in fact happen) but he never would've thought that Baekhyun would confess. Why was everything happening in the wrong order? Chanyeol was supposed to confess first and then Baekhyun was supposed to punch him in the face—according to his plans.

"I'm sorry," Baekhyun began when Chanyeol took too long to answer, the taller blinking before he realized how much time had passed. Baekhyun shook his head, seeming as if he committed the biggest crime. "I didn't—I shouldn't have said that."

But even now, after forgetting to answer Baekhyun because he was thinking, he couldn't believe what he had heard.

Baekhyun loved him.

"Please forget you ever heard that."

He quickly turned on his heel and began taking quick steps to get away from Chanyeol, missing the way that the taller reached out to grab the sleeve of his thick sweater (an ugly Christmas sweater, because Baekhyun at least wore festive clothes on holidays); his small steps eventually becoming strides which evolved into flat-out running, the brunet wiping at his tears as he took the caution not to slip on the icy paths.

It was snowing, which only made everything harder for Baekhyun. The snowflakes glittered on the sidewalk like discarded jewels, and the little flecks in the sky landed on his sweater only to melt and become absorbed by the material. His footsteps were clear in the small layer of snow accumulated on the ground—repeating rights and lefts that stood out from others that were spaced closer together.

He probably looked crazy; running full speed at 1 AM on Christmas, but he hoped that whoever saw (if there was anyone, considering the streets were deserted) decided that he was one of the main characters in the books that realized he made a big mistake and was chasing after the love of his life. Instead, the reality was that he was running away, and without his knowledge, he was the love of someone's life that was being chased down after a mistake.

He didn't know, because he thought that...

Payback. Was all he was to Chanyeol.

He was asking himself why he had confessed. He felt like an idiot. He felt as if Chanyeol only used him to satisfy the pit of hate he had kept with him all these years. Why did he even bother talking about his own feelings?

Chanyeol didn't care.

Chanyeol didn't care about anything involving the person he had broken the heart of.

Baekhyun shut his eyes and wiped at the tears on his face again, his face especially cold because of the tear tracks starting to freeze. He was nearly at the bus stop now, and he hoped that he could stop there and take a ride back to his apartment—because there was no way in hell that he was going to go all the way back to get to his car.

He counted the steps that he'd need to get there, trying to get his mind off of everything that had happened. Just like the steady fall of snowflakes, Baekhyun began; right, left, right, lef—

And Baekhyun hadn't seen it coming even if he should have, but the protagonist of his pathetic love story grabbed his wrist, the warmth altogether surprising him who was spun and pulled so abruptly that he stumbled, toppling over the one who had just grabbed his arm. Baekhyun's hands had reached out to try and stop the impact only to slip his palms on the snow and mud-filled concrete, feeling the painful texture of rocks digging into the skin of his hands. He landed flat on the person who had stopped him—on Chanyeol, who was groaning in pain.

On any other day, Baekhyun would've had some sarcastic thing to say—good job, asswipe—but he couldn't even face Chanyeol after having confessed to him, wasting no time when he pushed himself up with both hands on either side of Chanyeol's body. He winced when his palms ached, his head lowered in shame because he was embarrassed that he was still crying.

He was stopped halfway through his plans, two warm hands cupping his face and bringing him down—and all of a sudden he was kissing Chanyeol again. It was undoubtedly the most awkward kiss he had received because gravity was too strong and he was basically squishing Chanyeol with his face, though the guy didn't seem to mind one bit. At least his hands were warm and his lips were undeniably soft, and just like every other time, he knew exactly how to kiss Baekhyun.

The brunet was melting just like the snow on his sweater, moaning helplessly into the kiss as he tried to pull himself together. Chanyeol began to wipe the tears streaming down his face and Baekhyun pulled away, only having enough strength to separate their lips. His warm breath mingled with Chanyeol's as he spoke, his tears only seeming to multiply when Chanyeol traced his thumb on the apple of his cheek.

"Please stop making me confused," Baekhyun begged, hiccuping right after. He swore that he looked a mess, leaning further away from Chanyeol in hopes that the taller wouldn't see just how broken he was. He sat back on Chanyeol's stomach, legs on either side with his hands balled into fists in front of him, head lowered as he took in shaky breaths. "Please don't kiss me if it means nothing to you."

The way he was crying stabbed Chanyeol's heart multiple times over, and what hurt even more was the fact that it looked like Baekhyun had just surrendered, left as nothing but pleas and broken hiccups.

"Baekhyun," Chanyeol finally said, the name leaving his mouth just like the condensation floating away; wispy and gentle. He sat up with much difficulty, the shorter barely even moving which resulted in him sitting awkwardly in between Chanyeol's legs, his head forever lowered to the ground, tears glistening whenever they fell down the side of his face. Once again, Chanyeol reached up to wipe at them, only to have Baekhyun flinch away and shake his head, bottom lip wobbling.

"I-I get it," Baekhyun spoke, his fists tightening, "I regret what I did before. I take back everything. I'm sorry—I'll... I'll..." He cried, biting down on his lip to stop the sounds of anguish from leaving. "You can stop pretending now."

"Baekhyun," Chanyeol repeated.

"I'll stop thinking about you, too. I'll make sure Luhan doesn't bother you. I'm sorry—"

"Baekhyun, can you shut up for just one second?"

The said man looked up from the ground then, his eyes glassy and his nose red as Chanyeol stared down at him, a small smile on his face. Baekhyun blinked, wondering why Chanyeol had tears in his own eyes—and then he began to question everything when Chanyeol's hand found the back of his head, gently pushing him so that his cheek connected with the rough fabric of Chanyeol's jacket, the taller's chin placed on top of his head.

"I can't forget about what you said, before," Chanyeol stated, sniffling as he blinked the tears away, finally letting himself cry when Baekhyun couldn't see.

At his words, Baekhyun pushed his forehead into Chanyeol's chest, thinking that everything was going to be held against him—only to be proved incredibly wrong.

"I can't forget them because I feel the same."

The moment Baekhyun heard that sentence, his eyes opened, his vision distorted because of his tears—but he figured out that he was still sitting in the same spot, and his hands still hurt so it crossed off any possibility of this being a dream.

Was Chanyeol saying the truth? Was he just messing with Baekhyun again?

The shorter felt so afraid, because he knew he'd permanently break if what Chanyeol was doing now was just a joke.

"I love you, Baekhyun."

Chanyeol felt his love stiffen right in his arms, seeming to have stopped breathing altogether after hearing what Chanyeol had said. He closed his eyes, his hand rested on the back of Baekhyun's head as he thought about everything that had happened.

"I was so worried that our relationship would end up being fake—so I somehow did it myself. I'm stupid. I'm an idiot and I deserve all the punches in the world. I was so afraid of what everyone was saying around me—about what our relationship would end up like, about how you would only break my heart a second time... I freaked out, Baekhyun," Chanyeol took in a steady breath, sure that Baekhyun could feel his tears falling onto the top of his head, but the shorter was constantly stock-still, as if he didn't want to miss anything Chanyeol said.

"A long time ago, I fell in love with someone who was cute, incredibly smart, funny, and kind. I would stare at him whenever he passed by me in the hallway, but he never seemed to notice, always running off to do errands somewhere." Chanyeol smiled at the memory. His first love. "He was labelled the school nerd."

When Chanyeol took a pause to think about what to say next, he could feel Baekhyun's body shaking against his own, and he heard how the shorter tried to muffle the sound of his cries, his hands coming up to fist Chanyeol's shirt.

"I tried talking to him but it never worked, because I always chickened out last second. I wish I tried harder. A couple of years passed, and I started seeing a change in my love. He hung around different people and he started talking differently—he ditched the school uniform and wore different clothes, he talked back to the teachers and he laughed obnoxiously loud. Nonetheless, I still liked him way too much. I could still see the old him whenever he smiled. I thought that I'd eventually get over this crush because he wasn't the same as before, but then, all of a sudden, he started talking to me in my senior year."

"I'm s-sorry," Baekhyun all of a sudden said, still in the midst of sobbing.

At his words, Chanyeol tilted his head fondly as he tried to get Baekhyun to stare at him, failing easily. "You never run out of tears, do you?" Chanyeol asked.

"I'm so sorry," he repeated. "I'm sorry. I really should have—Chanyeol."

Chanyeol smiled when he heard Baekhyun say his name. It reminded him of when Baekhyun was whining at him for stealing his cookies.

"This guy, who supposedly changed, proved to me that he was still the same." He felt a smack to his chest. "I fell so hard, Baekhyun. No—my love for him only grew from what it used to be, and I guess it got to the point where I couldn't get over it for ten years. I couldn't get over him, even if he broke my heart right after I decided that I'd happily spend the rest of my life with him. I just kept thinking of how he made me feel and how he smiled. I thought I'd never get over him, but it was okay; I saw him again and I loved him again—because damn, this guy is lovable." Chanyeol chuckled, pulling Baekhyun away from him and placing a chaste kiss on his mouth, feeling so satisfied when he saw how Baekhyun's eyes fluttered shut, as if he was expecting more instead of the little peck he was actually given.

"I hate you," Baekhyun mumbled soon after, using the sleeve of his turtleneck to wipe at his nose and his tears.

"And then I made a big mistake, Baekhyun. After chasing after you for so long and seeing nothing wrong with what you did, I eventually thought, why should I care? Why should he stay innocent in my mind after what he did?" Chanyeol let out a shaky breath, so terribly ashamed of what he had created out of Baekhyun in his mind. "I should've believed you. I shouldn't have let other people get in the way. I believed that there was no way that you would love someone who loved you too much for it to be healthy—but I was wrong. And I'm so glad I was wrong."

It took a while for Baekhyun to respond, and during that time, Chanyeol took the opened ends of his jacket and wrapped it around the shorter, not giving a single care to anybody who was spectating. They could watch all they want, and Chanyeol wouldn't care anymore. This was strictly their relationship, and other people couldn't say whatever they thought about it.

Eventually, when he thought that Baekhyun had fallen asleep or something, the shorter sniffled again, the taller feeling how Baekhyun gripped onto his t-shirt harshly.

"And... you're not lying?" Baekhyun asked, his voice soft and filled with so much worry that Chanyeol felt a fresh wave of tears come to his eyes.

"No, I'm not lying."

Baekhyun pulled away, staring up at Chanyeol as he examined the taller's features.

"You were never just payback—fuck, I feel like a piece of shit," Chanyeol let out a breath, "You're the love of my life, Baekhyun. If I could take back everything that I've said, then I would do it. I'd even go back in time to stay with you all those years ago, no matter what you said."

Baekhyun smiled, the sight becoming way too much for Chanyeol who spent years pining over the same guy. "Who has endless tears, now?" Baekhyun asked, bringing his hand up to wipe the tears falling down Chanyeol's cheeks.

"God, I love you so much."

If Chanyeol, an hour ago, had expected to have Baekhyun latch his arms around his waist and let out a small little laugh, he would've thought that he was crazy. But now, he could only think that the shorter was being way too cute for his own good, feeling how Baekhyun's hands fisted his shirt behind him, his head burrowing into the crook of Chanyeol's neck. Chanyeol patted his head and Baekhyun only hugged him tighter.

"You'll never leave me like that again?" Baekhyun asked.

"I'll have to die before that happens again."

"You don't want anyone else?"

"Never."

"You'll never kiss anyone else?"

"Never."

"You'll marry me?"

"Always."

Baekyun smiled bashfully, shaking his head. Chanyeol chuckled and brushed Baekhyun's hair out of his eyes, leaning in to press his lips on Baekhyun's—scarily cold—lips.

"I think I'm getting hypothermia."

"Me too."

"Let's go?"

"Mhm. Oh, and Chanyeol?"

"Yeah?"

"You're the one proposing next time."

"Gotcha."

[♤]

awwwwww

but what did i just do what the fuck

I call it the "fuck all and end this book" curse even if I really don't want to end this book

Y'all don't even understand this book is like my baby just like my other ones and if I end it I'll just bawl

Dw there's still some stuff to get through but Huaiu lgahruakfhjasndhduslafhkdja no way is this book seriously almost done? I think this is the longest it's taken me to finish a book

Merry Universe (fave songs out of exo's album? I'm a huge hoe for Universe, Fall, Been Through, Stay, bitch everything)

P-Nut oot.