Double update, hoes

and my display picture, everybody ^^^

I know, I am the almighty saviour. Ur welcome for saving Christmas

Jkjkjk I hope you enjoy this and I'm sorry if it's shit it's like 2 AM okay

[♤]

PART THREE
"I N E E D Y O U"
III : V

It came to Chanyeol one night.

It could've been 11 PM or 5 AM; he couldn't tell. All he could register was the way his heart was aching, having woken up from a dream where Baekhyun was still with him.

In his dream, they were cuddling on the couch watching some show on the TV, the shorter teasing him and burying his face in Chanyeol's chest when he started laughing too hard. Even in his dream he felt his heart squeeze at the adorable sight, and just as the Chanyeol in his dream was about to wrap his arms around Baekhyun and hold onto him forever, he disappeared into thin air.

His dream ended there and Chanyeol woke up soundlessly, his eyes opening to his empty ceiling and dark room, the other side of his bed just as empty as it had always been. While he was laying there, thinking about Baekhyun—thinking about his everything, he realized one thing.

He made a mistake.

He remembered seeing it—seeing the way Baekhyun had broken down when Chanyeol told him that he wanted them to break up. Why couldn't he have seen that Baekhyun loved him there?

And even before that... Just the way that Baekhyun stared at him, the way that he hugged him, the way that he talked to him, the way that he paid attention to him. Why didn't Chanyeol see it?

Who cared about what other people said? Why had Chanyeol been so stupid to have acted upon other people's thoughts? Why had he only seen the bad in Baekhyun, even if the good had been shown so many times?

He loved Baekhyun.

He couldn't say for sure that Baekhyun loved him back, and the entire thing was dangerous. Love was always dangerous—giving your heart away was always something that should be feared. It could fall into the wrong hands. It could be completely destroyed. It could be used.

But if Chanyeol truly loved Baekhyun, he should be willing to take that risk.

It came to Chanyeol one night; that he made a big mistake.

~

Baekhyun stared at the cup in front of him, the alcoholic contents mingling with the melted ice just like he was mingling with strangers.

He went two weeks straight without going to the club, but after spending at least three hours crying in his car, he figured that a few drinks wouldn't hurt. He didn't feel like partying or dancing. More like wallowing in his despair and wondering why Christmas Eve had to be as terrible as it was.

But at least he wasn't alone.

There seemed to be a lot of people at the club that day, even if they should've been with their family or loved ones, getting ready for the festive day that had the reputation of happiness and fun.

Baekhyun's past Christmas's were always relatively lonely because Luhan had to spend it with his family and, well, Luhan was basically his only real friend. So Baekhyun usually spent that day sleeping in and doing things that he usually didn't do every day, like binge eat a ton of sweets, buy a ton of crap from the stores and go skating by himself near the river.

He usually ended it by driving out to the highway where he parked on the side and stared into the empty sky, some sad Christmas ballad played in the background as he wished for a better Christmas next year. That's what Baekhyun always wished for, on Christmas.

He always wished for a better one next year.

As of now, his wish hadn't been granted yet.

He took another sip of his drink, leaning back in the disgusting chair and staring out to the dance floor.

This year, he thought that his Christmas was going to be alright. He thought he'd spend it with Chanyeol, having planned the entire thing out. He was supposed to buy Chanyeol's gift (a polar bear beanie baby) and prepare an amazing dinner even if he couldn't cook for the life of him.

He felt himself becoming annoyed, because it was all Chanyeol's fault that his Christmas had to be the same as last year.

If Chanyeol hadn't broken up with him so early, maybe they could've at least had a nice holiday together before leaving each other.

Hell, Baekhyun would've even preferred it if Chanyeol and he hadn't even gotten together in the first place, so he wouldn't have gotten the hope that this year's Christmas would be somewhat better.

Who was he kidding?

Chanyeol didn't love him. Maybe he had, all those years ago, but now he had just played Baekhyun.

Baekhyun downed the rest of his drink, slamming the cup down onto the table and alerting some of the highly drunk people sitting at the other tables.

These nights were one of the nights where Baekhyun didn't miss Chanyeol. He wasn't sad, rather, he was mad. He was mad that Chanyeol was such an asshole. He was mad that Chanyeol showed him so many things. But most of all, he was mad that Chanyeol had given him so much hope—that maybe someone out there really did love him for who he was, past everything that had happened between them.

Chanyeol was just like everyone else.

Chanyeol thought that Baekhyun was a bad person.

But hey, he was right, so Baekhyun should give him some credit.

Chanyeol knew that Baekhyun was a bad person.

Bakehyun ignored the fact that he had just chipped the bottom of the cup, staring up and suddenly making eye contact that nearly made his heart skip a beat.

His eyebrows furrowed and his heart sped up because was that really who he thought it was? Staring at him from the dancefloor?

Baekhyun stood up, more from disbelief than anything else, as he squinted past the blue and blinding strobe lights, trying to make sure that he wasn't hallucinating.

Because there Chanyeol was, standing right on the other side of the room, staring at him.

He wasn't hard to miss because he was basically half a head taller than everyone else, and he was doing exactly the same as Baekhyun. On any other day, Baekhyun would've avoided his gaze and swiftly left the room—but today was different. Today, it was Christmas Eve and he was supposed to spend it alone. Without his friends. Without his family. Without Chanyeol.

And it made him even more angry to see that Chanyeol was doing the same as him.

Why the hell was he at the club, alone, when he should've been with Wendy or something? Hadn't he broken up with Baekhyun so that he could go find some perfect boyfriend/girlfriend and laugh in his face later?

Baekhyun clenched his fist and all of a sudden he was moving, watching as the two of them copied each other's movements and began heading to the other side of the room, destined to meet halfway on the dance floor.

It was a little scary; how Baekhyun could feel the intensity of Chanyeol's gaze even past the entire partying scene.

Baekhyun started weaving through the multiple people dancing, slapping away a few hands that grabbed him to urge him to dance or whatever they wanted. He could still see Chanyeol, who was easily sifting through the crowd and making it over to Baekhyun faster than he could. It was strange, how the scene represented what had happened many times before. Chanyeol was always making it to Baekhyun first—reaching out to him first. It would've been perfect if Chanyeol just turned and left. That way, it would've fully represented their relationship. Baekhyun would be left behind just like what had happened a couple of months ago, having hoped to reach Chanyeol but failing to ever do so.

But, even stranger was the fact that Chanyeol suddenly stopped walking when he reached the middle. Now it was only Baekhyun who was moving to him, and he missed the significance of what he was doing. Chanyeol had done all that he needed to reach Baekhyun, and now it was his turn to fill in the gap, even if the taller could easily do that himself.

The moment the crowd cleared in front of him and Chanyeol was the only thing in front of him, Baekhyun pulled his arm back, balling his hand into a fist before throwing it as hard as he could to Chanyeol's gut (because even if he was boiling with the thought of how unfair Chanyeol made everything, he couldn't find it in himself to injure Chanyeol's face).

Chanyeol was obviously shocked—who wouldn't have been?—when he felt the impact, stumbling back a few steps and wincing as he clutched his stomach.

That's what you get, Baekhyun thought, scowling at him.

"Are you following me?" Baekhyun spat over the sound of the music, "Are you here to laugh at me because I'm all alone?"

At this point, it wasn't even Baekhyun who was speaking or executing everything. It was his insecurities acting up, mixed with the fact that he had to be reminded of Baekbeom's death on one of his loneliest days.

Before he could even say another word, Chanyeol took a step forward and grabbed Baekhyun's wrist, pulling him forward so harshly that Baekhyun was now the one wincing.

"Let go of me, you fucking bastard," Baekhyun said, his words harsh and his actions even harsher.

Chanyeol was dragging both of them off of the dance floor, the shorter squeezing his fists so hard that his palms actually hurt from the feeling of his nails digging into the skin. He tried pulling his arm out of Chanyeol's grasp but only got a hard tug in return, nearly falling on his face because of the reciprocation.

He didn't have a clue of where they were going but all of a sudden a gust of wind was hitting his face and Chanyeol was pulling them outside, evidently to the parking lot in the back.

"Are you crazy? It's the middle of the winter you stupid ass—" He couldn't speak another word because he was swiftly pushed against the brick of the building, his back complaining because of the impact. "You... fucking..." Baekhyun's words died on his throat when he saw how close Chanyeol was, his breath hitching in his throat when the taller started leaning in.

The moment Chanyeol's lips touched his own, he suddenly thought that—these pair of lips were way too familiar.

He was met with the realization that it couldn't have been anyone other than Chanyeol who had kissed him two weeks ago. If Chanyeol had gone to the club today, who was to say that he hadn't gone the day Baekhyun had kissed a supposed stranger?

His hands found Chanyeol's shoulders and he gripped the material of his t-shirt harshly before letting go altogether, shoving the taller away angrily.

Wiping his lips on the back of his hand, he snapped, "Stop messing with me!"

The feeling of seeing Chanyeol's back leaving him in the crowd flushed all of Baekhyun's other emotions away and—great, Baekhyun felt like crying again. It was like the wound that had just started to heal was being split open again when he realized that Chanyeol was just trying to mess with Baekhyun a second time, like he was constantly reminding Baekhyun of what it felt like to kiss him before shoving the fact that they weren't together in his face.

He felt so angry and betrayed—who did Chanyeol think he was, coming in and out of his life with so much ease? Was he really going to let Chanyeol do that every time?

The answer was no. No, he wasn't going to let Chanyeol do whatever he wanted. He was going to have to hear Baekhyun's side this time.

"You think you're so amazing," Baekhyun began, "You got back at your high school bully by breaking their heart. Are you proud yet?" He pushed off the wall and moved away from Chanyeol, hoping not to be in that vulnerable position again. "Aren't you glad that I can't hate you even after the shit that you pulled?"

Chanyeol tried to speak but Baekhyun cut him off.

"I spend every fucking night thinking about you. I even cry sometimes, did you know that? You can add that to your little list of how you got your justice-filled payback." He spit the word like it was venom, unable to stop himself from revealing everything that he had been feeling. "You never even thought for a second that maybe I changed in some way—that maybe I actually cared about our relationship. Or perhaps, you knew that I changed but you still didn't care. Because of what I did to you all those years ago, you just couldn't let go. Are you really proud of something like that?"

"Baekhyun, it was never like that—"

The way that Chanyeol stared at him with those eyes; the way that he was reaching out as if to pull Baekhyun into a hug—lies.

"Don't tell me that bullshit!" Baekhyun yelled, choking on his next words because of the tears steadily growing in his eyes. "You played me! You pretended that you actually loved me and you fooled me! Can't you just leave me alone, now? Do you really have to remind me of what I can't have?"

"You're so—" Chanyeol tried, once again, to speak, but it didn't work. He was frankly getting frustrated, because Baekhyun was beating himself up in front of him and he didn't give Chanyeol a chance to try and stop him. In fact, it wasn't only Baekhyun who was currently dying inside but it was also Chanyeol, who felt the ache in his heart multiply when he saw the extent of his stupid actions. Baekhyun was crying and if everything that he said was true, then Chanyeol had really just ruined something that could've been perfect.

He couldn't stomach the fact that Baekhyun had cried thinking about him—because Chanyeol did that all the time. How stupid could he have been?

"You called me a liar," Baekhyun stated, the taller feeling as if another needle was pricking his heart when he remembered his words on the day of their breakup. "And I am. I really am."

Chanyeol was trying to act calm and composed, because if both of them started freaking out then they wouldn't get anywhere. All he had to make sure of was that Baekhyun didn't run away before he got to express his own opinion.

"I lied to myself. I lied to everyone around me. Back then, I didn't know what was wrong with me," Baekhyun started, his bottom lip wobbling as he thought about everything that had happened, "Do you even know why I went after Sehun even after having you?" Baekhyun asked all of a sudden, bringing up one of the skeletons in his closet. He ran a hand through his hair and paced around, as if debating whether or not to tell Chanyeol. "I didn't know anything else..."

He turned to Chanyeol and he just looked so frustrated and sad; Chanyeol could tell because, under the bleak lights of the parking lot, he could see the tear tracks on his face and see the hurt in his eyes.

This was a different Baekhyun.

The Baekhyun who was swearing at him and cursing him for ruining his days had left and was replaced with this one—vulnerable, afraid, and so alone.

It shocked Chanyeol; it pressed a switch in his brain and all of a sudden he couldn't speak anymore because Baekhyun looked so small, and Chanyeol felt a drop in his stomach knowing that he was the one to put that expression on Baekhyun's face.

He was the one who hurt Baekhyun.

Chanyeol saw Baekhyun's lips part and when he exhaled, a smoky white cloud.

"I didn't know anything other than wanting to be with you."

The words were a whisper but they were louder than any other sound currently ringing in Chanyeol's ear, the dark-haired man feeling winded because of the weight of his sentence.

He stopped pretending that any of this wasn't affecting him.

He couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"I think I loved you, Chanyeol—I... I still love you."

[♤]

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

I'M SORRY FOR THIS LATE UPDATE BUT YEAH I HAD IT BUT NEEDED TO FINISH EDITING IT AND WOW HOW DID YOU LIKE THAT?

Finally. This is what I've been waiting for since chapter one. Did y'all know that I had this scene written out even before I had chapter two and three??? Lmao yup I was hyped.

Anyway, thank you everyone for reading my chapters and waiting and ahh it's Christmas I love Christmas I hope you enjoy the presents that I used tears and sleep-deprivation on (aka these chapters) and I hope u liked this chapter especially aghhh

Baekhyun finally confessed y'all omg I'm being one of those cringey authors who fangirl over their own story again but finallyfinallyfinallyfinally le siGH perfect for Christmas

I hope you, whoever you are, have a lovely Christmas and smiled a lot today and ate yummy food :)

P-Nut oot.

bUT WAIT!

Since it's Christmas can y'all give me a present too I mean it'll take like 5 minutes basically what I'm saying is if u actually like the stuff that I do, can y'all peep my message board and send me a smol little message saying why you like my books or why you ship Chanbaek or why you love EXO or anything at all because I'm a hoe and I love messages on my message board it's actually my fAVE thing evER I JUST FEEL SO HAPPY WHEN I SEE MESSAGES THERE IDK

Love you all, Merry Christmas!