(Who the fuck made that Chanbaek art because holY WOWWOWOWOWOWOW BEAUTIFUL! Akinahc I think it says? Amazing.)

Lol Oop guess who's actually alive?

Also guess who had this chapter written last week but just decided not to publish it? Moi moi moi

Anyway... Exo's winter special album. Y'all should help ya girl and send the album over k thx I'm broke the address is Canada, YeetStreet 9902

I love you all, ty for dealing with all of my dumbness on my rant book and waiting patiently for this :)

ENJOY NUTS!

[♤]

Chanyeol had a day off.

He should've expected it from his over-protective co-workers and friends, who had all taken a good guess and decided that something was going on with him and Baekhyun. It was especially obvious when Kyungsoo, trying to brighten Chanyeol's mood, made a joke about him.

"What, did Baekhyun not give you your morning kiss?" he had asked, folding a wad of dough on the counter and giving Chanyeol a smirk.

It surprised all of the workers in the kitchen when Chanyeol stopped the movement of his hand, the absence of the sound of his knife hitting the cutting board leaving everything eerily silent. Seulgi, Kyungsoo's new sous chef, didn't even know what was going on but she knew for sure that she never wanted to bother her boss when he was holding a knife.

"No," Chanyeol answered after a full minute of silence, and Kyungsoo felt a sinking feeling in his stomach, suddenly inclined to go over and give Chanyeol a hug—but that would probably only affect him negatively, along with the fact that Jongin had finally snatched himself a job in Chanyeol's kitchen as the dishwasher, and he'd kill Kyungsoo later.

The moody boss continued cutting up the raw potatoes and Kyungsoo turned back to the dough, feeling terrible for making that joke.

The next day, all of the workers in the kitchen pushed Chanyeol out of the doors when he had entered, searching for his apron. He couldn't really do much about it, since he was only one weakened man against 10 or so people, and some of them were just as muscled as he used to be.

He tried to argue with them but Kyungsoo had given him a glare and told him that he was turning back into the stick he had been in high school, punching him in the arm as evidence when Chanyeol winced hard.

So now, he was sitting in his dining room chair, staring blankly at a puzzle laid out in front of him.

It was already 6 PM, the taller having spent his day baking cookies for the old ladies on floor two and going out to buy some flowers—pink butterfly daffodils, which were coincidentally Baekhyun's favourites. "Daffodils just always look so excited and, well, the pink looks nice on it," was what he said.

Chanyeol didn't mean to get those ones, but he had entered and left the store with them in hand, deciding that they could liven up his lonely windowsill. It would be hard to take care of a flower like that during winter.

He heard the tinkling of Toben's collar and he looked under his table where the little pup was clinging onto Chanyeol's leg, blinking at him with those eyes that he could never say no to.

He smiled and was just about to get down on the floor and play with Toben, but that was when he heard knocking on his door, his attention turning to the sound. Standing up, he made his way over and opened the door without another thought, surprised to see Luhan standing there, fuming.

"L-Luhan?"

What was he doing here?

"You." Luhan jabbed a finger into his chest so hard that he even stumbled back a bit, his eyes wide as Luhan stomped in and threw the door closed behind him. "You have simply been the biggest asshole in the entirety of the world."

It took Chanyeol a while to recover and register the fact that Baekhyun's best friend was currently storming into his apartment and reprimanding him, but when Chanyeol did, he glanced behind Luhan just in case—in case Baekhyun was trailing behind him.

He wasn't, and for some reason that made Chanyeol feel worse.

"I think you're being a little biased here," Chanyeol said, his voice quieter than he intended it to be.

"Me? Biased? How about you, you fucking cactus! You freaked out because supposedly Baekhyun doesn't love you and just—ugh!" Luhan yelled angrily, looking very close to pulling all of his hair out. He wasn't here to confess to Chanyeol about Baekhyun's feelings—his stupid friend was going to have to do that himself—but he was here to maybe knock some sense into Chanyeol's more-than-stupid brain. "Did you really leave like a child when you heard Baekhyun say that he didn't love you?" Luhan questioned, knowing the situation well. Baekhyun hadn't noticed it, but it was a little hard not to realize that Baekhyun had met Jongdae at Walmart and talked to him on the same day that Chanyeol suddenly disappeared.

"No—"

"Don't even lie to me you disgraceful piece of shi—"

"What the hell is going on?"

They both turned and stared at the door where Wendy was standing, her gaze immediately hardening when she saw Luhan, who she had been avoiding at the company ever since Chanyeol and Baekhyun's fallout.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, closing and locking the door behind her before crossing her arms.

"Oh, don't mind me," Luhan waved his hand, the snarl evident in his voice, "I'm just taking out the trash."

Wendy was visibly fuming, storming up to Luhan and nearly knocking heads with him. "Say that again." Luhan opened his mouth to do exactly so but Wendy cut him off quickly, "You have no right to be calling Chanyeol trash when Baekhyun's the one being an asshole."

Luhan scoffed, his expression unbelievable. "He's not the one overreacting about some small thing he overheard, mind you."

"Small thing?" Wendy repeated, "You have no goddamn idea how much he's hurt Chanyeol already."

"Oh I know, Wendy, I know. But now he's done the same to Baekhyun and he's not owning up to it whatsoever; running away and ignoring him before breaking up with him. What kind of shit is that?"

"Have you ever tried dating your ex again? It never works! The one who ruined it the first time will always ruin it the second and third and fourth time. It's understandable that Chanyeol left after hearing that 'small thing'."

"No it isn't," Luhan began, "He isn't seeing the whole picture."

"And what is this 'whole picture'? The fact that Baekhyun liked him only for his status?"

"You know, maybe it would make more sense to all of us if you just shut your mouth and judge someone by their actual personality and not some stories from ten years ago."

"Well I'm sorry for thinking like that after seeing the result of his foolish actions right in front of me every day, suffering because of some stupid—"

"Stop it!" The two of them turned to look at Chanyeol who looked damn ready to throw both of them out of the door, if he could even do so in his current sleep-deprived state.

Chanyeol took in a breath, collecting his thoughts before he spoke and did something he regretted even more.

"I did overreact about what I heard," Chanyeol said as he turned to Luhan, "And I regret it, a lot."

Chanyeol's gaze was now on the ground, his mind whirling with unwanted thoughts of Baekhyun. It was at these times where he wished that he could think about something else for once, because he didn't want to burst into tears in front of his ex's best friend.

"But it wasn't just that I heard that Baekhyun didn't love me. Who cares if he didn't love me?" the dark-haired man winced, the thought of Baekhyun not loving him when he was willing to give his whole damn heart to him hurt, but Chanyeol was okay with that. He could've waited until Baekhyun felt the same; maybe love was just too much of an intense word for him. "But it was also because of Jongdae. Seeing the person who changed Baekhyun's mind the first time, making Baekhyun tell him straight to his face that he didn't love me—now that's what hurts the most."

"It's hard," he swallowed, "It's hard to trust Baekhyun after already having him break my heart once. And with everyone around me, telling me that he's just going to do it again—it gets to my head, alright?" Chanyeol sounded so tired—he was tired, and even Luhan felt a bit of sympathy for him. "I would give all of myself to him but if he's not willing to do it himself, I'm sorry, but I just don't feel like it would work."

It was admittedly embarrassing, confessing about what he felt to a person none other than Baekhyun's best friend, but the words had been on his mind and he felt like he was going to explode if he didn't say them. He could've said much more than that—written a ten-page essay—but he decided to spare the two visitors their ears, finishing it in one sentence.

"I felt like he was just using me. A second time."

When the two friends both said nothing, Chanyeol grabbed his coat from off his chair and left the place.

He was feeling like a good amount of alcohol was needed for him to feel senseless. That way, he wouldn't be missing what he couldn't recognize.

~

Baekhyun was exactly where he was these past few weeks, drinking the same amount of alcohol as before. Just enough so that his senses were all heightened and things didn't hurt as much anymore.

The brunet danced with the people on the floor, basking in the feeling of not caring about anything as he lifted his arms and pressed himself up against random bodies.

At this point, he should've been bored with the club. There was nothing to do, no new drinks to drink, but Baekhyun now felt like he had to go, because of what had happened the other day.

Randomly, when Baekhyun was losing himself in the music, he had burst into tears, finding himself standing in the middle of the dance floor with multiple streaks running down his cheeks.

None of the people dancing noticed him and Baekhyun didn't care if they would or not, because he was suddenly feeling like his heart was broken all over again. It didn't take much to feel that way; he felt like that every day, when he woke up without Chanyeol and went to sleep without his warmth around him, but this particular time was probably because Baekhyun realized that none of these people would ever care for him as much as Chanyeol did—and his next thought had slapped him in the face when he remembered that Chanyeol didn't care for him as much as he thought he did.

Ever since then, he was plagued with thoughts about Chanyeol all over again. If he thought that he was somehow "getting over him" then he had obviously been fooling himself, because he couldn't spend more than one second without thinking of Chanyeol. It was like his brain was wired to go back to every memory he shared with Chanyeol—every smile, every joke, and every touch of his hand on his own; burned onto his brain like memory to a disc, destined to be played over and over again.

Baekhyun now came back to the dancefloor to remind himself that everyone didn't care, and that he shouldn't be sad that they didn't care.

That particular day, he didn't know how much time had passed. He never checked, but this time he felt as if ages had passed, because he felt so, so tired, and that was a little unusual 'lest he party for six hours straight. Baekhyun hadn't been drinking this entire time but he felt as drunk as if he was, probably caused by the strobe lights and the constant movement of the people around him.

He had felt eyes on him from the bar behind him, and the first time he turned to look, he had only been met with unfamiliar faces. The feeling didn't stop but Baekhyun couldn't find it in himself to care, focusing primarily on keeping himself up instead of fainting out of exhaustion.

He hadn't been getting good sleep nor was he eating good—how was he expected to eat well when the only person who actually made things taste good was now gone? And how was he expected to get good sleep after getting used to falling alseep in a warm pair of arms?

The song then switched and Baekhyun scrunched up his nose, hating the song that was frankly overplayed and was becoming his least favourite thing. The crowd cheered and things just became all the more suffocating on the dance floor. The brunet decided that it was a clear sign that it was time for him to step off and head home, but just when Baekhyun was about to worm out of the mass of people, the crowd shifted and he was being pushed in all directions. The overplayed song obviously hyped up the wannabe's and was making them flock onto the dance floor. Baekhyun grunted and tried to get out but was only elbowed in the shoulder, stumbling into someone behind him, feeling warm hands immediately find their way to his hips.

Baekhyun froze, feeling as if he knew those hands. A tingling rush ran past his spine and he nearly jumped away from the touch because of how much it reminded him of Chanyeol, but in the next second, he was forced even closer to the mystery person with hands way too familiar, his back pressing up against a firm chest.

It's definitely not Chanyeol, Baekhyun tried to convince himself. Chanyeol didn't party.

Things calmed down in the next second and along with that, so did Baekhyun's nerves. He managed to convince himself that it wasn't currently Chanyeol holding him, and that his mind was only wishing that it was.

It didn't seem like the person behind him was planning on separating from Baekhyun and to be honest Baekhyun didn't want to let go of the warmth, relaxing in the hold and leaning his head back and onto the shoulder of the man that had just caught him (because there was no way that those hands were that of a woman's).

The feeling of the nameless man's hands and warmth reminded him so much of Chanyeol, so his eyes slipped closed, imagining that it was Chanyeol currently dancing with him, and Chanyeol currently pressing small little kisses to the top of his head, his hands momentarily tightening on Baekhyun's hips.

They swayed to the loud electropop, standing out from everyone else who was grinding against each other or jumping around.

Baekhyun was intoxicated; from the alcohol and from this man that couldn't be anyone other than Chanyeol, all sane thoughts flying out the window when his hand eventually reached up and his fingers wound into the man's hair, turning his own head to lead their lips closer to one another.

Baekhyun was tired.

He was tired of missing Chanyeol yet here he was, about to kiss some stranger because of how much he reminded him of Chanyeol.

There was a moment of hesitation when Baekhyun could feel his nose touching the other's and he was just about to open his eyes when the taller lightly pressed his lips against his own, the brunet's legs nearly giving out when they felt just like how he remembered Chanyeol's.

They were soft, and they didn't move whatsoever, as if waiting for Baekhyun's permission to do so.

Even the way they were kissing reminded Baekhyun of Chanyeol, and he was suddenly feeling overwhelmed by all of the emotions in his mind. If he imagined it hard enough, it would be Chanyeol who was holding him. If he tried even harder, he could imagine that it was Chanyeol who was kissing him.

Baekhyun didn't want to open his eyes.

He didn't want the magic to break when he realized that he had just kissed a complete stranger in hopes that it would give him the feeling of what Chanyeol gave him. He wanted to kiss Chanyeol—had been wanting to since the day they broke up, so he spun in the man's embrace and wrapped his arms around his neck, keeping his little daydream alive with his constantly closed eyes.

He pulled away for a little breather—only to remind himself to keep sane instead of actually needing to breathe—before leaning in again.

With his eyes squeezed shut, he wished that he was back in Chanyeol's arms.

What Baekhyun didn't know, was that he was wounding his fingers into Chanyeol's hair.

He didn't know that it was Chanyeol's hands caressing his back softly. He didn't know that he had leaned in to kiss Chanyeol. He didn't know that it was Chanyeol he was kissing.

He didn't know that he had bumped into Chanyeol, who had come to get rid of his heart only to find it standing on the dance floor.

He didn't know that he was crying.

The man he had named Chanyeol in his mind wrapped his arms around Baekhyun's body, pulling him closer—and Baekhyun held on so tight, nearly crying into the kiss when all of the familiar feelings reminded him of Chanyeol.

Baekhyun was ready to open his eyes, an exhilarating rush flowing through him as he wondered if it really was Chanyeol, with his big hands warm on his hips, and his plush lips against his own, but the guy retreated from him entirely, leaving Baekhyun surprised as he finally opened his eyes and only saw a blurry back disappear into the crowd, the tears in his eyes making it that much harder to see.

And when the crappy song changed into an even crappier song, Baekhyun suddenly felt so alone.

[♤]

I like torturing you guys

Anyway. Yes.

Interpret that scene as you want to :)))))

Why am I updating so much? Idk but I just rlly wanted to write that chapter. I could probably write another three chapters tomorrow pffffft but I won't cause that equals death and no studying

And to everyone who's frustrated with the fact that they won't just fucking talk, same!

But I mean. Look at both of them in this book. Do they look like they would talk willingly?????

Man I love angsty Chanbaek

I also love y'all. See ya Imma go write Your Voice or my three-shot and cry over the guy that I'm actually kinda over now?? It was probably super intense infatuation for a full four days? Idk but it was intenssssse

P-Nut oot.