Lan Zhan fast walked to the Jingshi, it was not running. Wei Ying’s brother had said Wei Ying was here, but when Lan Zhan opened the door, there was no one inside.

He would have gone running back outside but his sharp ears caught the sound of someone crying softly.

He followed the sound, his heart breaking at every step.

The sound was coming from...outside?

Lan Zhan opened the back door which led to their silent garden, covered in a blanket of snow. Soft and fluffy but deceivingly so, because Lan Zhan knew it had hardened now.

In spite of Wei Ying being usually loud, he was a quiet crier, and Lan Zhan could tell he was trying to stifle the soft sniffles that he was making. In the white scenery, he had trouble telling where Wei Ying was, but just then the hammock moved, and Lan Zhan went closer, wanting to not disturb him.

Wei Ying had covered himself in a white blanket and stuffed a corner of it into his mouth to prevent any noise from coming out. His eyes widened when Lan Zhan removed a part of it, and then he threw himself into Lan Zhan’s arms.

It was with real relief that Lan Zhan lifted his cooler self into his own body, and brought the trembling man inside their home. He kicked the back door closed, not particularly carefully, turning all his attention to this beautiful soul.

He went straight to their bed and grabbed another blanket to wrap around both of them.

"I'm sor-"

Wei Ying pressed his palm against his mouth.

His silver eyes said everything he was feeling, but predominantly it was a plea not to apologise.

"You said we were not to say those words to each other." Tears still poured from his eyes.

"I love you." Lan Zhan said earnestly, feeling worse.

"I love you too! But Lan Zhan...I know why you're angry...and I...I love you!" His frustration at his own tears was annoying him.

"Deep breaths. Breathe with me." Lan Zhan told him, trying to calm him down. Together, they let the precious air in and out, until Lan Zhan felt his heart rate climb down.

"I'm not trying to downplay whatever is happening to me...I'm not! I just...I don't know what it could be! And I don't want to worry them because what's the point? When they can't do anything about it?" He wiped at his eyes, but Lan Zhan gently took his away, replacing them with a soft white handkerchief.

"What if they want to worry about Wei Ying? You are taking the choice out of their hands." He said gently, letting his lips rest against hot eyelids.

"But Lan Zhan-"

"I am scared of losing you. I...cannot." He finally admitted, his own eyes filling against his will.

Just that single thought caused an eruption of pain so intense, it took his breath away with its sharpness. Like shards of brilliant glass embedded into his heart...he could not fathom feeling that kind of hurt again.

"I will not survive it this time."

It was better to get it out...everything that was going on in his head.

Wei Ying flung his arms around Lan Zhan’s neck, hugging him tight.

That pain...lasting so long, for all of sixteen years. He could well imagine how Lan Zhan felt.

"I wouldn't last a day without you." His tears returned too, soaking both of their robes. "I wouldn't want to, either."

"We need to make a plan." Lan Zhan became decisive. On his way back to their home, he had been thinking up solutions, trying to get a handle on this thing, whatever it was.

"Okay. Okay, I'll do anything you say." Wei Ying promised.

Lan Zhan kissed his hair, holding him just as tightly, relishing in his warmth.

"Today, Wei Ying can rest. Tomorrow morning first thing, we go and see Healer Fei. We make a list of symptoms and we check how many hours Wei Ying has to sleep. Every day without fail. Then only...we can try and understand what is going on."

Wei Ying nodded, leaning into his warmth, feeling his body relax.

"Why was Wei Ying outside?" Lan Zhan asked softly, stroking his hair.

"You weren't here...I didn't want to go to sleep alone."

"I hate seeing Wei Ying cry."

"I can't stand seeing you cry either...but..." Wei Ying was falling asleep, lulled by the deep voice rumbling next to his ear.

"But...?" Lan Zhan asked, wanting one final answer.

"I'm scared too...of the unknown. Not dying. But I don't want to leave you." His last words echoed around the Jingshi as he fell asleep fully now, losing the fight to stay awake.

Little puffs of warm air that comforted Lan Zhan as he felt each one against his neck.

In the past, Wei Ying sleeping used to make him happy...but it was this very thing that was slowly taking his beloved away.

Lan Zhan kept a hold on him for much longer than he would normally, feeling the warmth of his body, the weight of it natural and calming in his lap. The solid thumping of each individual heart beat, from start to finish.

This was his Wei Ying, his husband, his soulmate.

And Lan Zhan wasn't going to let him go without a fight.

Not this time.

So he called for their mutual friend, the only one he could trust to watch over his husband. If Wei Ying had limited time, then Lan Zhan was going to make damn sure they made the best of it, made every second count.

"Hui Gai...welcome." Lan Zhan said, quietly so as not to wake Wei Ying up.

He placed Wei Ying on their bed and covered his body with both blankets, kissing his forehead before standing straighter.

"What's up?" Hui Gai whispered, holding onto his tail.

With both hands.

"Can you please stay here with him, until I return? He doesn't want to be alone, but I know he is going to be hungry. There is a promise to be fulfilled." Lan Zhan told him.

"I am honoured that you thought of me." Hui Gai bowed.

"You love him nearly as much as I do. You are the only choice right now." Lan Zhan replied, bowing back. "I will be back as soon as I can."

He marched straight to the Hanshi where his children were playing with his niece.

"Would you like to come with me?" He asked.

"Where are we going?" Li XiWang asked, running to put her boots on.

"To make a surprise for your father." Lan Zhan scooped them both up.

"WingAnLaZhan?" Rumi asked.

"WingAnLaZhan." Lan Zhan replied.