After breakfast, they decided to walk leisurely through Gusu to reach Cloud Recesses by the evening. The day was warm and bright, in spite of the cool breeze.

Wei Ying put out his tongue and Lan Zhan watched him with interest, wondering why he would do such a thing.

"The summer days are leaving..." Wei Ying said, a little sadly.

"Mn." Lan Zhan took his hand. "Happens every year." He was smiling.

"Are you making fun of me?" Wei Ying asked with a grin. "And I know it happens every year...it's just...every time it happens, I feel sad."

"Never make fun of Wei Ying." He said, brow furrowed.

Wei Ying bounced back to him. His thumb touched warm skin, trying to erase the worry lines on his forehead.

"Fuddy duddy! I'm kidding with you. You know, you're much more relaxed when you're not living here." He leaned up and kissed his nose. "I love that about you."

"Mn." But Lan Zhan's eyes drifted up towards the mountain that they would be climbing up soon.

"We don't have to go back straight away." Wei Ying told him softly.

"But Wei Ying...misses everyone." He pouted unintentionally.

"I can wait." Wei Ying smiled broadly at him. "Just being here in Gusu is going a long way to curing that lost feeling."

"Then...can we walk around some more?" Lan Zhan asked.

Wei Ying melted.

"You're so cute, Lan Zhan. Of course we can. Anything you want." He grabbed the Jade's arm and dragged him to the nearest stall.

It turned out to be a jewellery one, with a nice selection of combs and hair pins, but then Wei Ying saw something that immediately caught his eye; it was a Jade pendant, circular in shape and it had two bunnies carved in its centre. It was extremely cute and immediately reminded him of Lan Zhan.

"May we buy this?" He inquired.

"Mn."

When Lan Zhan handed it to him, he placed it right back inside his palm.

"I know it's your money, but I've wanted to buy you something for so long now-"

The smile that had been playing upon his lips vanished. He took Wei Ying's hand and marched away, his tall strides making Wei Ying run a little to keep up. There was no time to ask anything either, before they entered a deserted alley, out of the way.

Lan Zhan pushed him up against the broken wall and proceeded to kiss the life out of him, finishing with a particularly savage bite.

"Ow. What was that for?" Wei Ying asked, warily.

"Our money." Lan Zhan emphasised, before diving in again.

Wei Ying sagged against him, completely bewildered.

"That's what upset you?" He swiped the back of his hand across his lips to find them still bleeding.

"Mn. We are married now. Anything mine is Wei Ying's, first. First." He reiterated.

"But Lan Zhan...I'm not bringing anything to this marriage. Only me. And Lil Apple." He whispered, not understanding why he found this so upsetting.

Lan Zhan pulled him close suddenly, not wishing him to continue.

"Wei Ying is amazing. Wei Ying is beautiful, Wei Ying is enough." Golden eyes closed, full of hurt. "Only need Wei Ying. Nothing else." And then fiercely, "I will speak to Brother. About paying Wei Ying. For night hunts."

"Noooo! That's not what I meant!" Wei Ying tried to pull away, but he was no match for the famous Lan strength.

"Please don't say anything to XiChen-Ge! He'll be so upset with me!"

"Mn. Am also upset." Lan Zhan frowned at him, yellow eyes still disturbed.

"Okay, I'm sorry for bringing it up! I...just wanted something nice for you...that's all. And I had an idea...I thought it might work better if it was something personal." To his horror, Wei Ying burst into tears.

It had the opposite effect on Lan Zhan, who stilled.

"Don't cry."

But once he had started, he couldn't stop.

Lan Zhan wiped his face, but more tears fell.

"I am sorry." He finally said.

"I'm sorry too. Lan Zhan, I didn't mean to upset you."

"Wei Ying should not..." he struggled to find the words that were just out of reach, knowing that this was the one time he desperately needed them. Golden eyes shuttered closed, overwhelmed by his frustration at not being able to articulate what he meant. "I love you." He tried again, this time, he eyes blazed open, full of his emotions.

Wei Ying's breath caught in his throat, mesmerised by what he was seeing.

I know.

Then why don't you believe it? Believe me?

I do!

Not sincerely. Wei Ying is all I need. Not money, nothing else.

Wei Ying was moving forward before he realised, kissing those cherished lips urgently, wanting so much...

He needed to apologise, but more than that, he needed to convey how much those words meant to him.

Lan Zhan kissed him back, an urgency present in the way he could not hold him close enough, as if by letting him go now, would let Wei Ying give in to his doubts and disappear, vanish before his very eyes...the only way to prevent that happening was to hold on.

Even after they stopped kissing, he held Wei Ying so close, his heart thundering in his chest, perhaps a premonition of his deepest fear, that this precious man could be taken away from him without warning. One hand was wrapped around his waist while the other cradled his head against his shoulder.

"Don't leave me." The words tore from his lips, an anguished cry from his heart.

"I would never!" His whisper was ferocious.

Gradually, the sounds of the market place filtered in, breaking their bubble of peace as vendors began packing up for the night. Traffic increased around them as customers and traders started to leave, and reluctantly they let go of each other.

Silently, Lan Zhan led him up the mountain path to their home, but each step felt weighed down with an imaginary weight. Each step brought forth the responsibility of the clan, the presence of duty, almost a physical person that kept him away from his Wei Ying...and Lan Zhan felt tired.

It seeped into his bones until his feet dragged, his mind reeling against going back...because...because it would eventually take him away from what he needed, to breathe. Who he needed, to breathe.

"My love." Wei Ying held his ground, tugging on the larger hand encasing his with a grip that was almost stopping blood flow.

He had felt the change in Lan Zhan, feeling it within himself and knowing that these weren't his own feelings, but they could have been, because Lan Zhan was a part of himself now, and because they were so intense. As their pace slowed until each footstep was measured, Wei Ying understood more than anything, what was going through Lan Zhan's mind. And he needed to stop this spiralling into despair.

"Lan Zhan, my love." Wei Ying concentrated and used more of his strength than he would normally, to pull Lan Zhan back to him.

He opened his arms, and it was a testament to how badly it was affecting him, that Lan Zhan went willingly.

"Talk to me. You don't have to speak now. Just show me what is hurting you." His voice was soothing, gentle.

Lan Zhan felt comforted and realised that, that was what he really needed right now. And that it was easier to think his doubts than voice them because the oppressive weight of his position prevented him from saying anything out loud.

I don't want to go back. I don't want to be away from Wei Ying, not even for a second. I hate that, when I enter the Great Hall or my office, everyone and everything seems to take away pieces of me until nothing is left for my Wei Ying, but there is no time, because the hours have bled away and it is time to sleep.

I do not wish for this.

This kind of life...it is not acceptable any more.

"If you could change anything, what would it be?" Wei Ying asked, softly, still holding him tight.

This role reversal was different, for normally it would be Lan Zhan giving him this boost of confidence, and the surety of his presence, but now he was the one providing solidity and reassurance, giving strength when it was needed. And he was immeasurably glad he could, because Lan Zhan had been so strong and for so long until now, for both of them. It was time for Wei Ying to step up.

If I could change anything, I would leave with Wei Ying.

"Really?"

Lan Zhan nodded, once and too quickly before shame filled his eyes.

"Don't do that!" Wei Ying cried, his own silver ones filling with tears that he could not stop. "Never be ashamed to tell me what you are thinking! I will never judge you for being honest with me." He held him closer again. "Lan Zhan, you never have to do anything you don't want to do. I mean it." He took a deep breath, trying to control his wild emotions and look after Lan Zhan at once.

"I know it's pointless asking you if you've told XiChen-Ge about this, because...because you've never told anyone, have you?" He could feel Lan Zhan shaking his head. "It's okay to feel like this, my love. Do you understand that?" Wei Ying leaned back and kissed away the tears of guilt and shame. "You're not alone, not any more. You have me, and together, we can do anything. We need to talk to XiChen-Ge first."

"Mn." The sound was full of cautious relief.

Wei Ying's heart broke all over again at this wonderful man who had put up with so much, all this time, never saying a word about how he truly felt.

Duty was a four letter word.

And he never hated it as much as he did now.

"Come on. We will tell him now, no excuses." Wei Ying took his hand and marched into Cloud Recesses, ignoring the nostalgic pangs the white Jade pillars brought to him without fail, the reminder of the first time he had seen Lan Zhan.

There were so many firsts here, he realised, walking past the building upon who's roof he had first met his match and sowed the seeds of his present life. They had been through so much, together and separately, yet Lan Zhan had suffered no less than himself.

And it was time to rectify that.