A/N

My dear amazing readers, I don't usually start a chapter like this, but I was inspired by your dedication to whatever madness comes out of my head and, because I had a slap-me-in-my-face moment regarding this book, I just wanted to thank you. Don't want to get mushy but I cried at someone's lovely message last night. And I'm not even an emotional person.

It might not matter to you when you decide, perhaps on a whim to look at my story, but let me tell you, it matters to me.

So I'm just telling you now, I'm going to do my best for you and for me.

*******

Jin Ling looked around the hall and wondered for the hundredth time, why he had agreed. He could put it down to being so busy, running errands on behalf of the elders, and they called it practicing being a leader for real. He supposed listening to what you're being asked, especially if it concerned the rest of your life, was definitely a life skill he had yet to master.

And, given a choice now, if he could go back in time, he would definitely be changing his absentminded 'yes'. He wondered if his Uncle Wei could provide a solution to that, you know, invent a talisman that could erase your past mistakes.

There would be queue to buy that one.

His mind drifted, looking out over those wide and ostentatious stairs, the grounds of JinLinTai stretching out luxuriously beyond them. The sky was a remarkable shade of azure today, contrasting the vivid green grasses, and he had the strangest thought; that this moment right here, would be embedded into his memory like a brand. Or a scar.

Not a single cloud marred his view. If he closed his eyes, he could pretend he was back in Lotus Pier, sitting with his Uncle Cheng, feet soaking in the cool lake waters and drinking in the heavenly perfume of lotus flowers. Who was he kidding? Uncle Cheng never just sat with him. No, that would be his Uncle Wei, who took time out to actually talk. Uncle Wei cared.

That was not to say that his Uncle Cheng didn't, because somewhere in all those threats and lectures, he was sure he could find a trace of affection, but he didn't know if it came from a feeling of love or duty.

Were you oath bound to love the off spring of your dead sister, just because he existed?

He missed them both right now. Both would not fail to give him good advice, were he able to put down his pride for a few minutes. That was the trouble; every conversation started out optimistically, but the inevitable plummeting into chaotic accusations turned him against talking to them. Maybe he would go and visit his Uncle Cheng after this circus finished. He hadn't heard from him in a few days now...and that was strange.

A shrill laugh snapped him out of his thoughts. He looked for the culprit and then...wished he didn't.

The young lady who had released that unnaturally high pitched sound, was currently staring at him. A blush feathered over his features, unwanted and embarrassing him further.

"So, we shall meet again, in two weeks time." The mother of that girl was saying, before they bowed and the whole family, complete with entourage left.

Two weeks? What was happening in two weeks?

He was distracted by the sudden flurry of activity. People started making lists, and words flew around, such as 'wedding' and 'guests' and 'ceremony'.

He stood up, not believing what was happening. He wasn't stupid, contrary to his Uncle's opinion of him, although once he heard what had been decided, Jin Ling thought that this time, he would agree. Wholeheartedly.

Feeling claustrophobic, he left discreetly and once he found himself alone, he jumped onto his sword and flew in the direction of Lotus Pier. He had to tell his uncle first, before he heard it second hand from some naive wellwisher.

******

Lotus Pier was quiet.

Jin Ling couldn't shake the feeling of unease when he landed on the training grounds, just outside of Swords Hall. Where were the disciples? Why weren't they practicing their martial arts? Where was his uncle? He would never stand for this...

They were waiting in line. What it was for, he hadn't a clue, but he decided to jump in front and see what was going on.

A door opened and a haggard looking young man came out. Jin Ling recognised him as one of the middle level disciples. He pulled him to one side.

"What's happening? Why is everyone waiting here?" He asked quietly.

"It's like this everyday. We are told to go in and answer his questions." The man looked miserable.

"Who's questions? Is it Uncle Cheng?"

He looked at him in surprise then. "No, Sect leader Jiang is still in the infirmary. Don't you know?"

"But then, who's in there?" Jin Ling was even more confused.

"Sect leader Lan XiChen."

Jin Ling pushed him out of the way and barged into the room without knocking.

"Uncle XiChen? What are you doing here?"

At the sound of his voice, an exhausted looking XiChen stood up to greet him.

"Where's Uncle Cheng?" Jin Ling demanded, not wanting to waste any more time.

"Wait, sit down first. I need to tell you...lots of things, before you go to see him." XiChen, ever mindful of his duties, poured them some tea each. He watched him over the rim of his cup, thinking about how to tell him.

"Your uncle was taken ill a week ago. We know he was poisoned, but we're not sure how or why."

Jin Ling pushed back from the table immediately, spilling his cup. XiChen wiped it up hastily.

"Sit down, Jin Ling. I haven't finished." The authority in his voice had the younger boy complying. "We're still trying to find the attacker, that's why we didn't tell you about this before. And even if you're asked, you have to say it's just a stomach bug. Do you understand?"

"But why are those people waiting outside? What for?" Jin Ling couldn't understand.

"I have to ask them I have to know...if they had anything to do with it." Desperation dripped from his words. He wearily placed his head in his head.

Jin Ling suddenly felt very sorry for him. He looked so tired.

"How is my uncle now?"

"He's awake, and that's a miracle by itself." XiChen looked up at him, eyes moist. "But he's not healing as fast as we want him to. The healers aren't even sure why."

"Can I go and see him?" Jin Ling thought, given the man's fragile state, it was better to ask.

XiChen nodded. "I would feel better if you were with him. You may go."

Jin Ling stood up and walked to the door, but he turned around. "Uncle XiChen?"

"Hmm?"

"You don't have to do this, you know. My uncle trusts everyone outside this room, and you don't know for sure if they really did something. You need a break, too."

XiChen smiled sadly. "I'll think about it."

But they both knew he wouldn't.

******

Jiang Cheng was sitting up in bed, looking out of the window. There was a blanket around his legs and an unopened book on his lap. He sighed.

Sure, he was awake, but it felt incredibly lonely.

XiChen was hell bent on throwing around baseless accusations under the pretence of finding 'the truth'. As a result, everyone was on edge, nervously waiting to be falsely charged, because Jiang Cheng was certainly sure they had nothing to do with it. Telling his husband that was another matter entirely.

Lotus Pier was a volcano, waiting to erupt when the flames of mistrust, anxiety and blame spewed out uncontrollably.

Jiang Cheng hated it. He didn't understand this weird change that had come over his husband, although he had an idea. And he hated that he himself wasn't getting better as fast as he would have liked.

The door opened, dragging him out of his thoughts, and he smiled welcomingly when he saw who it was.

Jin Ling came close to him.

"Can I hug you?" He asked.

The words were spokenly innocently, but Jiang Cheng felt awful. He had done this. He had made the boy ask for affection. He pulled him into his arms, silently crying and wondering where he had gone wrong.

Why was it that this time alone, he had been forced to self reflect and found himself...lacking? Why was it so difficult to have an ordinary relationship with this child, whom he loved immeasurably, but couldn't show him?

If his A-Jie was here, she would make everything so much better. But she wouldn't be happy with how he was treating her son. Jiang Cheng felt...ashamed.

The thoughts in his head produced more tears, and Jin Ling didn't know what to do. Normally, he'd have fetched his other uncle but he was going loopy right now, and Uncle Wei wasn't close enough.

Jiang Cheng thought of Wei Ying too, albeit with a tinge of jealousy. Wei Ying was effortless in his demonstrations of love and affection; so all the children were naturally attracted to his openness. Wei Ying was always smiling, even though he had on many occasions, tried to remove it. He felt ashamed of that too. What was wrong with him?

He couldn't really blame his own father, though it was true that the first seeds of doubt came from him. They sprouted alongside the cautious love, whether because of his mother's idiosyncrasies and paranoia regarding the cuckoo child.

Wei Ying had always been the centre of attention, whether he wanted it or no.

Jiang Cheng also wanted it, but for real.

He smiled at the now distraught child in front of him. "I'm sorry."

Jin Ling was right now regretting coming here at all. The world had gone crazy, with both his uncles displaying eccentricities contrary to their personalities and it wasn't as if he didn't have troubles of his own. He had come here to unburden himself, and look what happened.

Where were the adults?