Jin Ling stared at his bowl, sighed, and pushed it away. The servants had seen this, and immediately brought out a wide variety of dishes, all different tasting and new. He looked at them in dismay.

But he didn't feel hungry at all.

He stood up and went to his room.

Unfortunately, due to his brilliant idea when SiZhui came to visit him before, this place was filled with memories of him, of their sweet kisses, and then, when their lips were swollen and bruised, they had taken a break, and just talked.

Jin Ling always found it easy to talk to SiZhui. He never felt awkward, or shy. They had always just accepted each other. In fact, the three of them, including JingYi, were inseparable, always together.

All three of them had had difficulties growing up, not only by the lack of parents, but adjusting to clan life. Expectations were thrust upon all three, and through their shared experiences, they learned to trust one another.

This new step, one initiated by SiZhui, whom he would consider his best friend, was unexpected and unexpectedly welcome. He thought about how he felt that last day, looking up and seeing him, here, in his home.

An electricity raced through his blood. His skin tingled, remembering the feel of those silky, wet lips chasing his own, hungry to feel, to taste this new feeling.

Was this love?

He felt a possessive streak run through him, glad that SiZhui had the foresight to lock the door, imagining what would've happened if an elder had walked in on them.

SiZhui was suddenly...exciting.

Such a stickler for the rules, you'd never believe that his Uncle Wei was his father. But Uncle Wei loved SiZhui with a ferociousness that he found himself envying.

Jin Ling wanted to see SiZhui. Like, right now. He missed SiZhui like a physical ache in his chest. He pressed the heel of his hand on the place where it hurt, rubbing to try and alleviate. Then, he stood up and started pacing.

SiZhui was travelling eastwards, and there was no telling where he'd be. Plus the elders wouldn't allow it, not this close to the next cultivation meeting in four weeks time.

But there was one place he could go.

******

Cloud Recesses was a lot quieter these days. XiChen was walking past the Jingshi, and he suddenly wondered how he had ever lived here, before the wonderful, amazing and delightful addition to their family had arrived.

Wei Ying was alive. Wei Ying made his brother feel alive. Wei Ying made Cloud Recesses feel alive.

How marvelous it was that a single person could have that effect on all around him? XiChen was so glad that his first thought upon seeing the boy, was that he would make a great friend for his brother.

But WangJi never did anything by halves. Trust him to love the boy with all of his heart.

They made a good couple. XiChen was most glad of that. WangJi had been too alone, too internal, and too sad. Melancholy had become his cloak, or a second skin he no longer noticed he was wearing.

Wei Ying was the warmth and sunshine, ensuring he didn't need it.

He met Jin Ling on his way to the Hanshi.

"Uncle XiChen." He bowed.

"Jin Ling. How are you today?" XiChen smiled, knowingly. "Any particular reason for your visit?"

Jin Ling blushed.

"I-I came to see...Uncle Cheng." He stammered.

"Of course you did."

They walked together, XiChen with confidence and Jin Ling drowning in awkwardness.

He had known his Uncle XiChen for a long time, but he was now the closest thing to his boyfriend's parent he could get.

Awkward was the only word.

XiChen plucked a purple bloom and handed it to him with a wink. Jin Ling stared at him in confusion, until he opened the door to the Hanshi.

Realisation was swift and harsh.

He took a long look at his Uncle Cheng, who was absentmindedly making notes on parchment, biting into an onion.

"Greetings, Uncle." He said, confusion on his face like the flower to his nose.

Jiang Cheng came to hug him, and Jin Ling had to let him. He didn't know which was worse.

He tried to catch XiChen's eye, but the man was avoiding it like the plague.

Jiang Cheng sat back down and gave him the once over.

"What's wrong?"

Jin Ling sighed, sniffing the wilting petals of the newly plucked flower. Of course, his Uncle could tell he had a problem. This man had raised him.

"When did you know you loved each other?" The words fell out of his mouth before he had time to blush.

Jiang Cheng looked at XiChen and went completely red, a fireball compared to his husband, who's embarrassment was only visible through the pink tinged ear tips.

XiChen reached for his hand under the table.

"Why are you asking that?" Jiang Cheng glared at his nephew, overcome by whatever he was feeling and as usual, lashing out.

XiChen, ever aware for the feelings of others, squeezed his hand to caution. He turned to the young man in front of them, who was eagerly waiting for their reply. He wondered if he had ever looked like that, hopelessly in love and ignorant of it.

No. He knew that when he fell in love with Jiang Cheng, it was more of a gradual thing. He thanked the Gods that he knew what he was feeling from the get go, and so did Jiang Cheng. They were past the age of playing games with each other, or dancing around the truth. So many things had happened to them, both individually and together, that resulted in their maturity from an intelligent point of view.

Neither had the patience now, to wait for what they wanted. And XiChen wanted Jiang Cheng.

Jin Ling was still waiting, but it was Jiang Cheng who spoke first.

"I liked Huan anyway." He said, confidently. "And we started spending more time together, first because of your Uncle Wei, but then because we wanted to."

"I used to find excuses to travel to Lotus Pier." XiChen admitted, bashfully.

The other two looked at him in surprise.

"Really?" Jiang Cheng stared at him. "I wondered why there was a barrage of urgent messages. Top secret. Had to be delivered in person."

XiChen giggled.

Jin Ling had never heard that sound coming from him.

Neither had Jiang Cheng who was looking at him with heart eyes.

Jin Ling wanted to leave, because this was fast becoming a private moment. He had absolutely no wish to see it escalate.

He pushed back noisily from the table, when they leaned in to kiss each other.

"Um, so I'll be going. Nice to see you both, Uncles." He fled.

He hadn't gotten far, when a slightly raised voice stopped him.

"Wait, Jin Ling! I have something for you." XiChen was walking really fast towards him. "Well two things, actually."

He smiled kindly at the young man, who's inner turmoil was as transparent as the rain.

"Before he left, SiZhui gave me a letter. He said I should give it to you if you suddenly turned up, unannounced." He pulled out a golden envelope from his sleeve and handed it to Jin Ling. "This is from your Uncle Cheng. Your Uncle Wei created these invisible talismans with longer range. If you wanted to send a message. To anyone. If you like..." XiChen smiled encouragingly at him and walked back to the Hanshi.

He was quietly proud of both of them. SiZhui was a smart kid, and obviously inherited the Lan trait of loving once and once only, but with a fierceness that obliterated everything else. Jin Ling would find out soon enough.

Jin Ling gazed at the golden envelope. His fingers traced over its smoothness like a lover's caress, even as he found himself walking over to the bench under the Great magnolia tree.

As he turned it over, he was acutely aware of the wind as it ruffled the leaves, sending out waves of peaceful calm. Perhaps it knew his heart was beating out of his chest at this small, but such a meaningful gesture.

SiZhui had thought of him.

More than that, SiZhui had known that he would miss him like his next breath. Why hadn't he known this himself?

He looked at the characters which spelled his name. SiZhui had turned them into works of art, a calligraphy of love.

The blood was rushing to his head, as he opened the envelope, trying not to crease it. The faintest trace of jasmine floated up as he opened the letter.

My dearest Jin Ling,

I know you will miss me like I miss you. I'm always missing you, but I didn't want you to suffer...that's why I wrote this letter.

I wish I could be with you too, I wish there were two of me, so I could be with my family too.

Maybe it's too soon to say this, but I look forward to the days when I can wake up next to you. I want to eat with you, I want to sit with you, and I want to kiss you forever. I want to be with you as much as I can.

When I look at what my parents went through, they have made me realise that every moment spent with the one you love is precious and fleeting. I want to make them last. With you.

Consider my words because they are really promises, on my way back to you.

Lan Yuan
(Your SiZhui)

Jin Ling didn't know he was crying until until the first tear fell on the name at the end and began to smudge the precious writing. Aghast, he put it next to him on the bench, and covered his face with his hands.

The letter didn't make it better at all.

*******

A/N

I know I keep saying this, but it's only because you make me happy. Thank you everyone who takes the trouble to write anything in the comments, but especially when you decide to tell me how you feel about what I've written.

I wake up to the best messages and it makes me feel inspired to write better and better, better plots, better stories.

I wish to shower you all with chocolate (and pizza - optional) to show my love and gratitude.

You have changed my life, and it's amazing because of you.