It was almost 7am and I just arrived home from the airport. My eyes were puffy and red from crying and tears stained my cheeks. A whole month with the most important person in my life gone. I threw myself onto the couch. Groans escaped from my mouth and into a pillow as a cause of the time and situation.

My stomach pressed into the couch and my arm hung off the side as my fingers flicked through the white carpet. I laid in silence in my home for the first time in weeks. My ear was covered by the pillow, throwing off the sound of the fan.

My heart beat sped up along with my breathing. I could feel my chest tighten up and my fists clench. I knew I couldn't be mad at my mother, it wasn't her fault. I was mad at myself for relying on her so much. My legs swung off the couch and I stiffly stood up. I was fuming mad. I didn't know how to control it, I could barely get a grip on how fast my mood changed.

I ran my fingers tightly through my hair, trying to hold it all in and control myself. A single tear ran down my face and that's what broke me. I threw my phone to the floor, letting it bounce as my fist beat once on the wall in front of me.

I didn't know what had come over me, but I guess all the anger over the years caught up with me. I started getting mad at what my father did, at what old "friends" did, even at old relationships. I blamed myself. The guilt was so heavy on me.

I sunk to the ground against the wall, loud sobs coming through my parted lips. My arms wrapped around my knees and I pulled them tightly to my chest. I tilted my head up, lightly hitting it against the wall. I puffed out, catching my breath. Oddly enough, I laughed. I laughed at how worked up I was. I laughed at how sad it was to let myself to do this to myself. I buried my head in my knees, rocking back and forth slowly.

A knock at the door made me shoot my head up, but I ignored it. I didn't want to deal with anyone, especially like this. My eyes lingered on the door for a few seconds before the knocking started again. I slowly stood up, my legs shaky from my outburst. I hesitated in answering the door, and just my hand touched the door knob I heard a faint voice calling my name.

"Maddie, I know you're there. I heard you walking." I swallowed and turned the handle, being greeted by a red eyed Michael. The redness contrasted his green eyes, making them stand out more than ever before. He looked just as a big of a mess as me.

"It may not be a good time for us." I choked out, looking down. I looked backed up with apologetic eyes and began closing the door. His hand stopped it just as my view of him was gone.

"It's a perfect time. Look at us." His voice broke at 'us', making my tears fall faster. I yanked the door back open, biting my lip to fight the breakdown.

"I want to be alone." I whispered.

"But I don't want to be." His hand fell from the door and to his side. He dropped his head, instantly looking vulnerable.

I inhaled deeply, trailing down his body then to my feet. I nodded my head, unsure if he even noticed and timidly opened the door so he could enter. He looked back up sheepishly, as if asking for permission.

"Come on." I mumbled.

Michael shook his head and trailed passed me, immediately sitting on my couch. I stayed by the door for a few seconds taking to process what happened. I shut the door quietly and stood in the middle of the living room.

His back leaned against the sofa, one ankle resting on his other knee. The normal lightly tinted pink in his face was now flushed. His arms were over his head as his hands repeatedly ran through his hair and over his face. I couldn't describe what he was. If he was stressed or angry or sad.

I softly sat next to him, picking up my feet and crossing them over each other. I faced him, scanning his body language. His fingers were interlocked as his hands propped up on his head. He tugged at the inside of his lips. All he could do was stare at the ceiling. I could tell he was thinking from the small smiles that appeared every few minutes.

We sat in silence as I involuntarily played with the hem of his shirt that rested at his hip. I stared off, watching my hands that carelessly tugged at the fabric. From the corner of my eye I could see him softly shake his head. It broke my gaze and I looked back up at him. A single tear from his eye and I felt my heart break.

This was the saddest type of crying I believe. The times where the person shows no emotion, where they don't speak. It shows they've truly been hurt.

I could tell he was choking it all down. I scooted closer to him and tucked my head into his shoulder. I pulled his arm down that once hovered over me and wrapped it around my own shoulders. He didn't even react, he just stayed put as if nothing happened.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked quietly, trying not to upset him more. I felt his chest rise higher as he took in a deep breath.

"I just feel like shit." He laughed at his statement. "I feel stupid being upset about it, especially in front of other people, you know?" I instantly nodded my head in agreement, slightly feeling that way now. He turned his down to peer at me. "What about you? Is it your mom's business trip?" I thought about what to say, not exactly knowing how to put my anger from before into words.

"Yeah, but I just had this overwhelming rush of guilt and anger and-" I choked on my own words, unable to get anything out through the new tears.

"Hey, I told you not to do that." He ran his fingers through my hair, pulling strands out of my face.

"Look at yourself Michael." I sat up slightly to look at him who was smiling, which caused my lips to pull into a smile also.

"No, look at us. We have these obvious sad moods and stories that we're covering up with humor. That's a damn good way to tell a story I think."

We just looked at each other, waiting for one of us to say something. Instead of saying, I did. I wrapped my arms around his neck and toppled over him. I took him off guard, but he instantly pulled me in tighter with one of his hands placed gently on my back. He acted as if I was a porcelain doll that would break under any type of touch.

Another tear slipped from my eye, but this time it was out of joy. I smiled the biggest I have in days and tightened my grip on him. I felt his other arm wrap around me and pull me closer. The stubble on his jaw brushed against the crook of my neck, sending goosebumps throughout my whole body.

I pulled back and let my elbows rest on top of his shoulders, seeing a smile that mimicked mine on his face.

"Thanks." We said together. Our laughs replaced the silence in the room.

I looked down at him, his blonde hair ticking my neck. His tilted his head up, his puffy eyes matching mine. I giggled at the thought of how big of a mess we were. He brought himself up closer to me and pressed his lips just under my chin. My cheeks grew red at his action and he turned giddy, like a little kid.

He gripped my elbows to pull me off of him and he stood me up carefully, following my motion. He sighed and grinned before looking around then turned his focus back to me.

"I still have a huge hangover." He snickered. I shook my head, him obviously not reading the multiple texts I sent him after I dropped him off about to drink a ton of water.

"I'll get you some water and ibuprofen." I tugged him into the kitchen and sat him down at a chair. "I'm making breakfast, what do you want?" He raised his eye brow at the question, seemingly satisfied.

"Usually I wouldn't accept the offer, but since you're already doing it..."

"You took too long, I'm making pancakes." I reached the mix from the top shelf of the pantry and walked over to the stove. I glanced over at him, an unimpressed look on his face.

Things fell quiet once again, only the sizzle of batter was heard. Fortunately, the silence was always bearable between us. I really liked it. It was how we thought we learned to move through things that weren't made for us by moving through things that brought us together.

Michael sauntered next to me and raised himself up to sit on the cold granite.

"What are you going to do?" He questioned as he gripped the ledge tighter.

"About what?" I briskly looked between him and the cooking meal, slightly confused.

"The next month." He steadily watched my movements. "Are you going to be fine...by yourself?" I turned the heat off, feeling his eyes on me as I made a stack on either plate.

"I mean, I'll have you, Annabel, Lue, and Julia to keep me entertained." He followed me like a puppy as I made my way to the table and sat down. "Or distracted."

"I think I can make it a fun month." He said. I gave him a questionable look. "Trust me."

And that's all I could do now, was trust.