Michael and I kept eye contact, but Julia switched between us nervously. She could feel the tension in the air and took a small step back.

"Should I leave?" She whispered to me as she watched Michael, yet loud enough so he could hear.

"No." 

"Yes." Michael demanded over my voice at the same time. He had a straight face, but you could tell he was agitated. He propped himself up on the side of the door frame with his shoulder. One arm was over his head and he had a hand shoved in his front pocket. He began rubbing the back of his neck then broke our stare and glanced at Julia once. He froze his actions and raised his eye brows at Julia as he cocked his head slightly to the side.

"Right." She rested her hands on my shoulders from behind me. "Just please," she paused. "No blood, or sex, I don't really know how this is going to end, on our freshly stained porch." She ran off before I got the chance to yell at her for her comment. I folded my arms across my chest before asking him what he was here for, but he started before I could.

"Julia's a bitch." I scoffed at his blatantly rude comment.

"Did you come here just to insult my best friend or do you have an actual good reason?" I looked him up and down once, still curious as to how he was wearing those dark jeans in summer. He rolled his eyes once and stood up straight.

"I wanted to talk to you."

"We already did." I snapped back. "And showing up to Julia's house was definitely not the way to do it." I felt infuriated with him just showing up here and thinking that he could fix everything with a simple conversation. I knew that I wasn't just going to give in a forgive him, I didn't feel like he deserved any type of forgiveness after what he caused. "How did you even know I was here?" I asked, changing the subject.

"Julia told me you were here." He spilled. I made a mental note in my head to yell at her for telling him that too. I bit the inside of my cheek as he told me this, which I quickly released.

"And she let you come over?"

"Not exactly." He said with a hint of a presumptuous tone. "But in all seriousness I do want to talk to you."

"What is there even to talk about anymore? You said it was a mistake." I was beginning to show my annoyance with him and was not in the mood to fight about this, especially when my friend was eavesdropping a room away.

"No. You were the one to say it was a mistake, not me." He said, backing himself up.

"But you agreed with it!" I raised my voice at him and threw my hands in the air. I stared at him with an irritated look which he easily gave back. 

In all honesty, I hated fighting with Michael. No matter what grounds we were on. I didn't mind little joke fights about who got the last piece of pizza or who had control over the TV, but these types I hated. These were the ones that really got under my skin.

"Only because I didn't want to be the only one putting effort into this." His voice matched mine as he took a step closer to me.

"You didn't want to be the only one putting effort? Michael, that's what friends do. That's what you're supposed to be doing in a friendship. That's how it works." I shook my head at him, annoyed at his oblivion to the simple facts. 

"You know damn well we aren't just friends." He shot back. His hands raked through his hair of frustration and he sighed deeply, calming his voice once again. I lowered my head in slight guilt, thinking I was being a little to hard on him. "I get that you're mad and I know I've been messing up way too much lately, but I'm not just going to give up on you. I'm not going to pretend that what was said didn't happen." I blinked a few times, trying to process his words and create my own. I sighed once and reconnected our eyes.

"Give me some time." I plainly said. It's what I needed, whether it was a few hours or a few days I needed something to let me figure this situation out.

"Maddie, you don't have a lot of time. You leave in two weeks and I don't want you to just slip through my fingers. It happened once and I'm not letting it happen again, no matter how many miles apart we are. I won't hesitate to fly out there with you just to make sure we don't end things on a bad note." 

"Oh God." I mumbled under breath. "Please don't." I laughed lightly. He finally cracked a smile at the sight of my mood brightening.

"Okay, maybe I won't. But please, just..." He started, losing his train of thought. "Let's start over if we have to. I never intended to make things this difficult."

"You didn't intend a lot of things." I said quietly. We both knew I was referring to what he caused, or what we both caused I should say. I wanted to forgive him since he was giving me a genuine apology and I could see it in his eyes and I could hear it in his voice. I didn't exactly mean for that to come out of my mouth, but he did need to know what I was thinking. He nodded his head slowly then took a step back.

"Well, I'll give you some time." He lost his smile and blinked a few times. "Just call me when you know. Or you could text me. Or stop over at my house." A small smile spread across my face as he kept going on. I actually thought it was kind of sweet, so I let him embarrass himself a little more. "Although I might not be home so you could probably just-"

"Shut up." I jokingly said as I cut him off. His cheeks flushed as he quit speaking and let out a laugh. It was impeccable how fast our moods could change. "I will, don't worry."

"Alright, I guess I'll just...go." He began awkwardly stepping backwards and I lightly giggled. Before he had the chance to actually get anywhere, I rolled my eyes and swung my arms around his neck, forcing him into a hug. "There we go." He slightly sing-songed as he clung his self around my waist. He gave me a gentle squeeze before I backed off.

"You look like you needed one." I admitted, still smiling as he was too. I went to step back inside to shut the door when his hand on the door stopped me from doing so. I met his calm eyes once again and waited for him to say something.

"Don't forget." He reminded me.

"I won't!" We exchanged out goodbyes once more and I shut the door carefully. I turned around and pressed my back to the wood and sighed in an unreadable way. I walked back into Julia's living room and splayed myself over the couch I was laying on before. I heard the sound of bare feet on hardwood then I caught Julia running into the room. She jumped onto the couch with me and pried at my arm while wiggling.

"Did you settle everything?" She asked excitedly. I rolled my eyes at her and grinned.

"You would know, you were listening from the other room!" I laughed, pushing her softly. She laughed along with me, but didn't deny her actions. "We didn't settle anything. I'm still pissed off at him, but it's so hard to actually stay mad at him when he's in my presence. I don't want to just let him off the hook and think that what he did was okay." I admitted. She nodded he head and looked at the floor.

"So you'll just say when you're ready?"

"Yeah, well if I ever am. He basically told me 'Call me when you figure out if you want to continue forward, or call me when you want to tell me you hate me.' But in reality, I don't think I can hate him, he's done a lot for me." I sighed. I leaned all the way back and relaxed into the cushions. I threw my hands over my head and watched Julia turn to me. "I'm just not sure if making something out of us is the best decision when I'm moving so far away."

-

It was 2pm on a Friday and I was home alone. I had just come back from quitting my job for the obvious reason and was now packing up my belongings. Everything had pretty much been sorted into boxes except for my essentials. I was staying about a week by myself before my mom flew out and all of our things came in, so I was starting to pack a suitcase with the things I wanted to bring for that week.

I couldn't stay focused on what I was doing, not the slightest bit. I was more worried about other things than the actual move. I worried that there were going to be people that I wouldn't be able to say goodbye to or places that I wouldn't revisit. I felt like I was going to leave something incredulous behind. I felt like once I left I was never going to come back.

My whole bookshelf was empty, it made me feel somewhat uneasy. There was only three sitting on a stack on my top shelf, my three favorites. I was taking them along with me on the plane ride to my new city. I walked over and began to riffle through the first few pages of a book. Even though I've read it a numerous amount of times, I had always loved the book the same each time. 

My back pocket began buzzing, signaling someone was calling me. I stacked the book right on top just where it was and grabbed my phone out. The caller ID had read 'Michael Clifford' in bold, white letters. I groaned and tossed it aside and fell onto my bed, waiting for the vibration to stop. 

I hadn't even made the slightest effort to talk or come in contact with Michael since he showed up at Julia's front step yesterday. I knew I promised him that I would, but I couldn't bring myself to. Mostly since I actually hadn't figured out what I wanted to do yet. He had called last night, but I did the same and ignored it. I had an idea of what I wanted just not the actual final decision.

I don't think I had the heart to tell Michael I wanted to be just friends. I didn't want to have to put him through a long-distance relationship, myself either. I knew he didn't want things to fizzle to nothing, and I didn't either which is why this made things a lot harder. The hard part wasn't actually keeping the friendship together, it was keeping it just as that. I didn't want him to say that he actually did love me when he was a thousand miles away.

I needed time and that was the truth. I needed a lot more time than what I was being given. I felt like no matter what I was going to do I was going to end up hurting someone. Whether it was me or Michael or the both of us. 

I rubbed my temples from my clouded thoughts and sighed lightly. I had been getting so worked up about the littlest things, I was even stressed about meeting up with my mom on her lunch break for work today.

My phone buzzed once again, but only one time. I picked the phone up from beside me and read a text from Michael telling me to pick up, which I ignored once again.

I peered down to the empty suitcase I had laying next to my bed. I couldn't believe how fast my life was about to change, and frankly that was almost nauseating to me. It tightened my stomach into knots so quickly that I could actually physically feel myself aching.

I hauled myself off my bed and into my bathroom. My fingers searched for the switch and turned the lights on as I stepped inside. I planted myself in front of my mirror and studied my image, running my hands over my features.

I had weird insecurities, ones that were silly to normal people. My hair never laid flat and was a bit long for my liking. I had collarbones that stuck out a little too far and my bottom teeth were crooked. I could easily fix these things if I wanted, but I didn't feel the need to. The people surrounding me never noticed them so why should I?

My phone ringing yet once again interrupted my thoughts. I groaned as I scurried over to it, hoping it wasn't Michael again. Thankful it wasn't and it was just my mom.

"Hi mom." I answered, sounding out of breath. 

"Hello." She called back, dragging out the O. "I just wanted to tell you that I'll be home late tonight, we're talking about money for this move. We actually might be able to make this whole thing word without spending a dime, they're willing to pay for the entire thing, including airfare." I smiled at her enthusiasm, wondering how she always seemed so upbeat.

"That's awesome, like really." I replied back. We sat in a bit of silence after she let out a faint sigh into the speaker. "You alright?" I questioned.

"Yeah. I'm just wondering if this is really the best thing for us." 

"Of course it is. You'll have this crazy new job and I'll be started on getting a real job and finding my own place. Kind of like starting over, I think we need it." I stretched the truth at the last sentence. A change was always good, but erasing your previous life wasn't my idea of change.

"How is everyone taking it?" She asked suddenly.

"Okay, I guess. They're sad that we won't be able to see each other as often, but they understand that it's the best for us." I fumbled with my words, not really enjoying the topic of the conversation. She paused once again before asking yet another question.

"What about Michael?" She slightly mumbled. You could hear the hint of guilt in her voice, or maybe embarrassment. Either way you could tell she wasn't too keen on asking this question and I wasn't too excited to answer it either since the last time she asked about him we got in a ridiculous fight.

"Um," I started, debating whether to tell her the truth or cover it up. "He's just like the others. I don't really know, I haven't talked to him recently." I wasn't lying, I was just being vague. No harm done.

"Why's that?" She wondered. I realized I was never in the mood to talk about Michael to her. I began to feel annoyed, or jumpy. I don't really know.

"I don't know." I blankly said.

"Maddie." Her voice warned. "You know you can talk to me about these things." She always said this about anything that we were talking about. It was kind of cheesy and over said, but I think she was just looking out for me since I used to keep everything bottled up. 

"We're just trying to figure things out." It was all I said. It was all I needed to. I played with the hem of my t-shirt as I heard her clear her throat from the other end.

"You guys need to stop trying and start doing."

"What do you-" Before I could get another word out she cut me off.

"I know that I've been on and off about my fondness towards Michael, but I've never seen a boy look at a girl the way he looks at you. I can't ignore that he makes you happy and I can't ignore that there's something there." I kept quiet from the fact that I was taken aback by her words. She took it as a signal to continue. "I just want you to know that things will fall into place. Whether you think it's for the best or for the worst." I bit the inside of my cheek timidly before letting myself speak.

"I just don't know anymore. Things are getting difficult." I finally sat down in my chair and let my thoughts come out.

"This is when you have to try the most. Don't give up on him, he won't give up on you." Her words repeated Michael's from just the day before and it gave me a sudden relief. That's when I knew he wasn't going to let me go without putting up a fight. "You need to talk to him. Stop ignoring him and fess up." 

"How did you know I was ignoring him?" Her ability to read my mind and emotions was always on point. It irked me, but it was always a good thing to have. Kind of like a real like conscious. 

"Just talk to him. He's more worried than you." She demanded. She wasn't stern or rude, it was calm but straight to the point. I blinked a few times and nodded my head even though I was aware that she couldn't see. "Maddie?" She called out my name as if she was checking to make sure I would confirm the action. I swallowed before choking out my words.

"Yeah." I licked my lips and furrowed my eyebrows. I pulled my thoughts together and began to string a plan together. "I will."