My heart stopped and I felt as if I was going to be sick. A brand new town that was literally days away from where I was. I'm going to have to leave everything behind. My only friends who keep me going and understand it all, my job, the memories in this house, and even the thought of Michael and I popped into my mind. I began shaking my head frantically, not wanting to accept the news.

"We can't." I choked out. My hands gripped the edge of my bed, trying to hold back the tears. "I'm not leaving everything I've created here."

"Well you can create new things. It's time for a change don't you think?"

"No!" I yelled as I stood up. "I don't want changes! Don't you think I've had enough of those? All I want is stability and and...." I tried to find my words, but stopped myself once the thought of Michael came into my head. He had been giving me this new found stability for the past two months and I now feel like I should have taken advantage of it. "I can't let all of this go, Mom. I physically and mentally can't." Tears that I didn't even know I had produced were flowing from my eyes.

"You're almost 18, you'd have to do it soon anyways." She stood up with me, placing a hand on my shoulder. "You need to look on the bright side. This is going to be great for us." Her arms wrapped around me, which I didn't return. My head was forced to bury into her shoulder, my running mascara staining her white t-shirt. "You need to learn to move on." With her words she pulled back and looked at me with sorrow eyes. I knew she felt my pain, I knew she could feel how much this was going to hurt. And that was something that was going to be hard to forgive her for.

She left my room, closing the door gently. I was left in my dimmed room standing alone. Something that I was going to have to get used to. My head fell in my hands as the tears kept coming. My heart ached, my stomach was churning and my legs were going weak. This was news that never even crossed my mind and I believe that that's why it hit me so hard. It was so unexpected and big that I couldn't control my emotions and how I felt towards it.

Maybe my town was washed up and the people weren't the kindest and I got in a little unknown trouble, but that's what I was able to look passed. I looked for the good in things. I learned that the diner down the road has the best coffee at 8am on a Saturday morning and it tastes even better when it's shared with your best friend or with a boy the waitress assumed you were in a relationship with. I learned that the lake stays warm, even if you're swimming in it with no clothes on and at night. I learned that the woman at the front desk of the hospital is kind enough to let you visit after visiting hours. I learned that this town isn't so bad as everyone made it out to be.

I laid down in my bed. I stared up at the ceiling with an infinite amount of thoughts running through my mind. It seemed like minutes passed but in reality and hour and a half had. It was midnight and I couldn't speak and I couldn't move and I couldn't even cry anymore. All I could do was think. The way my life was about to change was hard enough to handle, how would I handle it when the month was over and it became a reality?

-

My phone was vibrating repetitively underneath my pillow, causing me to wake up. It was 9 in the morning on the dot and all of my texts and calls were beginning to come in. I had 5 texts, none from Michael. I also had 2 missed calls, also none from Michael.

It had been one week into my punishment and I still had no contact from Michael. He stopped visiting my window, he stopped showing up to my work, he stopped all interaction between us and this is exactly what I feared. I feared him just dropping out of my life and it was happening before I had expected. I shook it off, telling myself it was just him probably having his phone taken away and basically the same restriction of not being able to leave the house.

I skimmed over the text from my mom, telling me to run down to the grocery store to pick up a few things for dinner which I gladly accepted. Anything to be able to get out of what seemed like house arrest. I walked into my bathroom, doing my normal morning routine. I didn't take any interest in my appearance and threw on a new set of clothes and slid on my flip flops.

I practically ran out of the house, getting any chance to escape it. The humid summer air was already beginning to stick to me, but I was able to hop in my car and blast the air before I became too uncomfortable. My mind kept flicking back to the idea of moving and I still wasn't able to wrap my head around it.

My mom had already started packing, but it was the little things. Like my old artwork from the fifth grade or old dining sets we never used but still keep. I always refused to help her, I always said I was busy picking up my room or reading. Really anything that came to my mind. I thought about the two weeks after my punishment that I would have left. I would have two short weeks to say goodbye to everyone and everything. I wanted to do so many things before I left and I didn't know if I'd have the time.

I pulled up the the store, shaking my thoughts away. I sighed deeply as I shut off my car and sat for a few seconds and relaxed myself. My hand found the handle of my door as the other grabbed the list that was left for me. I had only a few things, so the trip was expected to be short.

I trailed up and down the aisles looking for what I needed. The store was quite empty since it was so early on a Monday. I turned onto the very last aisle, a figure catching my eye.

The figure had been a tall boy, dressed head to toe in black. There was only one boy in this whole town who wore black skinny jeans in summer and that was Michael Clifford himself.

"Michael!" I exclaimed. He picked up his head and turned towards my voice. I walked towards him as he stood in the same place.

"Hey." He said, straining out the Y.

"You practically fell of the face of the Earth. Where have you been?"

"Um," He started, letting his eyes wander anywhere but on mine. "Just been busy." I question his words, curious as to how he could be busy enough to not to speak to me for a week. I scratched the side of my arm, not knowing how to feel about his tone.

"Oh. Well, I've been grounded and still am and I have a few things to catch up with you on." I smiled weakly, not liking the silence. He sighed as he ran his hand through his hair.

"Listen Maddie, I don't think we should be seeing each other anymore." I was taken aback by his words, completely confused at what was happening. I shook my head slightly as I furrowed my eyebrows.

"What do you-"

"I'm in enough trouble as it is, it almost got me kicked out. My grandma is really strict about that stuff and I just can't be caught doing it. Whenever I know I'm doing something I'm not supposed to be doing it's always with you." He looked down at the ground, shuffling his feet slightly.

"So you think that I'm the bad influence?"

"No, it's me who's dragging you into it." He sighed once more and looked back up at me. His eyes showed sorrow but he had a blank expression. "I just think it's better if we stay away from each other." My lips parted as if I was going to say something, but he walked off before I could speak.

I felt the familiar knot in my stomach and ball in my throat. I had cried too many times in the past week that I'm surprised I had enough tears left. A let out a shaky puff of breath as my eyes brimmed with tears. I bit my lip, holding them back. I spun around and watched him turn out of the aisle thinking that it was probably the last time I was going to see him.

I shook my head quickly, pulling myself together. I scurried towards the checkout lane fidgeting with my fingers just anxious to get home and leave this place. I grabbed my bags and headed out as I made my way towards the car. I hauled the plastic bags into my trunk and opened my door. I slumped into my seat, finally letting the tears trickle out. I sat in silence and stared at small crack I had in my windshield.

Why. That's all I could think. I couldn't find logical reason as to why he made this decision. I felt as if I was just dumped on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere. I picked up my head that was tilted backwards and looked ahead of me. I caught glimpse of Michael's car that was coincidentally a row ahead of me. He was unpacking his things into his car and I hopped out, ready to ask him what in the world was going through his head. I jumped out, slamming my door behind me. He turned around to meet my now furious gaze. He shut his trunk and leaned against it, watching me as I marched towards him.

"What the hell Michael?" I shouted. My hands balled into fists, letting my new found anger get the best of me.

"Have you been crying?" He took notice in my appearance as it obviously made him uneasy. I wiped the underneath of my eyes roughly, not caring about the way I looked to him. I ignored his question and carried on.

"You know damn well that I didn't just open up to anyone and I know that you don't either so what makes you think that after all this time you can just throw it all away because we finally got caught?" I squinted at him in hopes of getting and explanation out of him.

"Things like this aren't made to last forever." He looked down at his hands in a guilty manner.

"'Things like this?'" I put air quotes around his words. "You mean an actual quality friendship?"

"That's not what I mean at all." He mumbled. I tilted my head in hopes for any type of eye contact so I could really tell how he was feeling.

"Then what do you mean?" I shouted.

"That's not the point. The point is that this was going to come to and end anyways." He sighed once more and made his way around to his door. I watched him carefully, not believing what I was actually hearing.

"No, Michael. Books end and cups of coffee end, movies too, but what we shared? Things like that don't. Take a look around, I have 3 best friends that haven't left and when I let you in I didn't expect you to."

"Look, I'm sorry." He finally looked at me with a blank expression with sorrowed eyes, just like he did in the store. I had a feeling that this isn't something that he wanted and that it was hurting him more than it was helping.

"Sorry is supposed to fix things, Michael. And this? It can't be fixed." My voice became shaky as the reality of it all started to settle in. He changes his focus to the ground, opening his mouth to say something then quickly closing it. "I just don't understand." I paused. "But I'll be out of your hair in 3 weeks. I'm moving halfway across the country and you'll never have to deal with 'things like this'." Before I gave him a chance to react, I turned my back to him and walked to my car once again.

I sat back in the car and profusely ran my fingers through my hair over and over. My head was now buried in my hands and I replayed the scenario multiple times. I truly didn't understand, not like I understood most things. But this was something was genuinely confused me. I groaned and leaned back properly into my chair, starting up my car. My phone began ringing and picked it up without checking the name.

"Hello." I said rather rudely.

"Whoa, someone's snippy." I instantly recognized Julia's voice on the other line. I smiled for the first time this morning, just happy that she was finally home and we could talk.

"Sorry, just um-" I looked over to Michael's car. He sat with his legs hanging out the side and his knees held up the elbows that were supporting his head. His head was in his hands just as mine was a few minutes ago. "Rough morning." I sighed.

"Want to talk about it?"

"Later."

"Alright, well I left a coffee and a couple of donuts on your front porch. They're on the table on the porch in a white box."

"Thanks, I'll be needing it. Call you later tonight." We exchanged our goodbyes and I hung up, throwing my phone in the seat next to me. I gripped tightly onto my steering wheel as I looked back over at Michael who was just now pulling out of the parking space. As he was shifting back into drive we caught each others eyes which he immediately looked away from. I bit the inside of my lip, slowly shaking my head as he drove off.

-

I was sitting in the emptiness of my kitchen, something I managed to escape when Michael was still in the picture. He had always seemed to know when I needed company. It's not that everyone else didn't care enough, they just figured I needed some space and I was actually okay with that. I did like peace and quiet every once in a while. I do like to be alone, just not when I'm lonely. Which is why I had grown to love the slight stability Michael gave me.

Even thinking about him made my emotions stir. I would change from mad to sad to annoyed in a matter of seconds. I wanted to shake it off and give my brain an actual break, but I simply couldn't. It's all I could worry about. I was stuck in the fine line between wanting to let him go and wanting him back, but he was trying to make it very clear about not wanting me. In reality I couldn't help but question his intentions. I don't really think it's what he wanted, it's what he though he wanted.

The way he could barely look at me and when he did he almost broke and could only manage out a few words gave it all away. There's more behind this and I can't help but be so aware of it. He took away my pain and all I could ever do was thank him, even if he didn't like me to. I never thought I would be able to repay him for that and this is how I'm going to have to do it. It'll hurt a lot less when I leave this town with no strings attached so I guess letting go really is the right thing to do.