"When you are guilty, it is not
your sins you hate but yourself."
— Anothony de Mello

Taehyung POV

It was like watching a pendulum. Just the back and forth motion that emitted stress and worry pouring off in waves from the blonde.

Jimin had abandoned his phone on the couch when he got no texts back and forgotten about the movie we were watching even longer before that happened.

"Please sit down you're stressing me out." I sighed, it was the hundredth time I've asked him by now.

Instead he just ran his hands through his hair and walked off to the kitchen with the tie hanging limply around his neck.

Jimin came back with a juice box and sat down on the recliner seat, "This sucks." he just muttered, sipping quietly with both hands wrapped around the juice.

"Having boyfriend withdrawals?" I laughed lightly, "Can't relate."

There was a scoff and I glanced over at my friend, his hair shaking along with his head, "You could if you weren't such a pussy."

That earned him a pillow thrown at his little worried looking face.

"Yoongi is an adult he doesn't have to text you back every second you feel like whining." I rolled my eyes and focused back on the movie. There was some woman crying now in the film and I missed what happened. So annoying. Jimin huffed and I could see him crossing his arms in my peripheral vision.

We sat in a silence, only the voices from the movie being heard which was already set to a low level by this time of night.

It wasn't until the sound of a door being unlocked that either of us made a move to get off the couch. It was Jimin.

He had jumped up a second after the door was pushed open and a familiar mess of hair came walking in. The juice box abandoned next to the phone from before. "Yoongi!" he smiled.

The blonde got halfway to the other boy with his arms almost raised to greet him with a usual hug, but Yoongi turned to walk to the kitchen.

Suddenly the movie wasn't as interesting and the normally quiet boy who seemed even more shut off had caught my attention.

"Yoongi?" Jimin repeated, arms falling to his sides. He was standing there by the coffee table, not even moving to get any closer to his boyfriend.

I sat forward and rested my elbows on my knees, my hand wanted to reach for the remote to pause the movie as the atmosphere shifted to one more tense.

Yoongi came walking out from around the counter with a water in his hand, "You didn't answer any of my texts." Jimin said. It was more of a statement than a question.

"I got busy." he shrugged.

I could see the deep breath that Jimin took, his chest raising and falling with whatever emotion was being pumped throughout that small body. I suddenly wanted to leave and not be involved with whatever was about to happen.

"What were you busy with?" Jimin asked, with an obvious hint to the need for more questions to be asked.

Yoongi leaned against the counter, facing the two of us with his water loosely in his hands,
"I went to that comedy show I had tickets for." He had the calmest expression that gave me goosebumps and the one staring back at him from the blonde was full of confusion and even more stress than from before.

"I thought we were going to together." Jimin said.

The oldest boy tilted his head just enough to the side, "I heard you were sick?" It was asked like a question, but the tone and nature to his voice was one of subtle discontent with truthful undertones. The words specifically sent my stomach into a fit of swirls of a nauseous panic. There was only one other person that could have told him that.

Jimin hasn't spoken, his lips parted and empty with the inability to mutter an untruthful word, especially towards the one that means the most to him. "How're you feeling now baby?" Yoongi asked quietly. 

That was it. I stood and walked over with a slight feeling of frustration. "Okay that's enough don't you think?"

Yoongi's calm expression had left and was replaced with a glare sent directly at me, "You want me to be honest?" he shot back. "Because from what I'm seeing that's not something the two of you seem to know how to do."

"Yoongi wait-" Jimin tried to start, he looked beyond upset but as much as he wanted to fix this between the two of them, my own selfish side wanted to know what he heard from Jungkook today.

The oldest didn't bother to hear him out, "Stop Jimin, this isn't you." Yoongi just looked disappointed by this point. "This is his fault."

It was a slap to the face and a direct stab at the heart. The reason it probably hurt that bad was because he was right, what he said was true.

Jimin barely cared about the fingers being pointed, all he cared about was Yoongi right now. "Have you been drinking?" he asked, stepping closer to the upset boy and holding out his hand tentatively. It looked like a small boy trying to get close to a scared animal.

"Does it matter?" he laughed lightly and tossed his car keys onto the counter. But the topic of alcohol pulled me in more, stepping on toes and business not really intended for myself. "You were with Jungkook, was he drinking?" I asked, the need to know how the certain black haired boy was doing continued to grow.

"Why would you ask that, Jungkook doesn't drink." Jimin snapped.

He also doesn't take his medication. I thought, and the words almost slipped out. But that would ruin everything and Jimin would feel worse than he already does and then he'd tell Jungkook everything and that would just make me look terrible. So of course I'm going to be selfish and stay quiet.

"I'm going to head out, okay Jimin?" I said, walking to grab my phone and keys from the kitchen table. Yoongi scoffed and mumbled some kind of insult, but my mind was too occupied by someone else to care about his drunken stabs.

Jimin just nodded with a fallen face, and I barely made it to the door before the two behind me had somewhat made up. Yoongi had walked up to the younger boy and laid his head on Jimin's shoulder, in return for the blonde to wrap is arms around him so tightly.

I let myself out, feeling the cold air dusting my cheeks as I walked to my car in the guest parking spot. His name sat at the top of my screen with a quick text message typed out, I didn't even care if I sounded desperate. I wanted to know where he was and if he was okay. This kid better be since he decided to plant himself in my mind and wreak havoc.

The heat from inside my care was welcoming, but the constant undelivered messages were not. I wouldn't even care if Jungkook read them and ignored me, as long as I knew he was somewhat responsive.

Maybe I was overreacting. Maybe I should have just drive home. But maybe I was a little too into this guy and driving to his apartment at midnight to see if he was there was a normal.

There was still no answer after I had knocked several times. Just in case I checked my phone but was only met with all the texts that wouldn't deliver.

So I pushed open the apartment door that he never locked and quietly stepped in, "Jungkook?" I whispered.

The apartment was dark and silent, there didn't seem to be any sign of movement or chances of him being here. Still, I shut the door behind me and left it unlocked, walking further into the home that is becoming more familiar with each visit.

Everything was in its place as it usually is and his bedroom still looked as neat as he always kept it. My body was too tired and my mind too overworked, there wasn't much thought until I collapsed on his mattress, encasing myself in the sheets that smelt like so much like him.

• ♡ •
i love this book so much
and i can't wait to keep
writing more 💓
please vote and comment
what you think