"It's hard to experience
desire when you're weighted
down by concern."
— Esther Perel

Taehyung POV

It was cold outside the cafe, but it didn't compare to the sick feeling in my stomach and the icy hand constricting my chest.

I walked to the end of the cafe and glanced down the alley between it and the next building. Jungkook had stopped walking and turned to lean his back against the brick wall. "What's up?" he said while tucking his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants.

"Nothing, I just wanted to talk." I shrugged. To be fair that's all it was, just me wanting to talk to him alone about nothing in particular. "For fucks sake Taehyung can we do this inside then? It's freezing." the ravenette complained. Before he could walk away though I grabbed his hand, tugging him back to face me now, "Wait-"

The boy stopped expectantly and rose an eyebrow, his bangs hanging over his eyelids that would soon cover those brown orbs if he didn't get a haircut soon.

"Is that your friend from the studio?" I asked.

Jungkook glanced down at my hand in his, the current flipping of my stomach and uneasy nerves flooding my body was being ignored but I wasn't about to tug away again. He squeezed my hand lightly before being the one to let go.

"Does it matter?" he questioned, there was an obvious curiousness in his eyes as to what I had to say and I sighed in mild annoyance. "Yeah, it kind of does, especially when you don't see how interested he is in you."

"Again, does that matter." he pressed on. The remark simply made me roll my eyes and I stared at him for a moment, Jungkook just looked back and knowing his stubborn nature he would turn this into a staring contest.

I looked away with a quiet scoff, leaning against the brick wall this time as he stood there on the sidewalk watching, the people walking past continuously ignored, "Of course it matters, what about us?" the words left quietly and I focused on kicking a pebble instead of looking up at the boy I was indirectly exposing myself to. It sounded dramatic and cheesy but it was on my mind. I wasn't going to mess something up because I was too afraid to say anything and someone else wouldn't be.

"So there is an us?" Jungkook's voice sounded lighter, and when I looked up at him the corners of his thin pink lips were up into a gentle smile. "What are we then?"

I shrugged slightly, not really knowing how to answer that correctly. "There's something."

"Something." he repeated, turning to lean against the building beside me. His shoulder was touching mine and I felt a light nudge, seeing him already watching me when I looked over, "I'm okay with something." he smiled.

The relief flooding my chest was easily welcomed, one stress gone as I knew we were in a good place, although confusing and still working itself out. It's not like I was alone this time. "Good." I returned the smile, it was easy.

"I think this is the part where you kiss me." Jungkook grinned, leaning over and puckering his lips.

I shook my head and laughed lightly, barely caring at the moment and leaning over to leave a quick kiss to the others lips. Once I pulled away there was a subtle frown on Jungkook's lips, he only mumbled quietly, "Well shit,"

"What?" I asked, each of us pushing off the wall and walking back to the entrance of the cafe, my eyes on the side of Jungkook's face as he sighed, "It's a lot more than something."

I didn't get the chance to ask him anything, because he stepped forward to get the door and disappear inside, both of us met with Kino and Jimin right behind him. "Jungkook! I got your drink." he smiled and held out the dark red cup to the other boy. "Did you want to get something to eat after this?"

Jungkook sipped the raspberry tea and adjusted the strap of his backpack on his shoulder, he seemed to be contemplating.

After a second of silence his gaze shifted to look at me, dark eyes and matching dark bangs and I felt my stomach flutter. "Change of plans," Jungkook said, eyes not leaving mine, "Taehyung bought me dinner already."

Rolling my eyes I chuckled softly, "Right, of course I did."

Jungkook simply grinned and kept on enjoying his vibrantly colored drink. I grabbed the strap of his bag and started pulling him back outside where we just were, the boy calling back to his two friends, "I'll see you at the studio later and feel better Jimin!" he called.

The blonde boy seemed caught off guard and nodded, "Yeah, thanks." Jimin said waving a bit and could feel his gaze move over towards me, I simply let go of Jungkook and we fell into step on the sidewalk.

"So what's this dinner that I've already apparently bought us?" I asked the boy to my left, his hand shoved into his pocket while the other continued to hold the tea, lips wrapped around the straw and continuously sipping.

He hummed amusingly, glancing over at me with that smile, "I think you mentioned something about burgers? Those ones that taste like a heart attack and comes with the free refill of fries?" Jungkook patted his stomach and led the way picking up his pace. 

The diner wasn't that far up ahead and we kept walking, I had rode with Jimin anyways and Jungkook never seems to drive himself anywhere. He did however order the food on his own and even choose where we were sitting down, which was at a booth in the back corner. I wasn't surprised by his choice.

Jungkook moaned as he pulled out his burger and started taking off the wrapper that covered it, the plastic decorated in grease. "Now this," he paused to look across the table at me, gesturing to the food in his hands, "This is what I call a nice meal."

"What about me?" I joked, pulling out my own burger from the paper bag, "I've been told I'm quite a meal."

The boy opposite of me had already taken a considerably sized bite, rolling his eyes at my remark with a slight shake of his head, "One, that was such a cheesy thing to say. And two, you've got some competition. I don't see you letting me take a bite out of you without any objection." he pretending to flick his hair over his shoulder and kept eating.

I only chuckled, starting on my own share and enjoying my money's worth. It was only when my phone screen lit up with a text from my sister that my attention was taken away from the black-haired boy in my company. The words not being my sole focus but instead the time, remembering a certain significance.

Jungkook had his backpack with him but he made no advancements to it. So I decided to speak up, "Hey Kook."

He glanced up from underneath his bangs and rose an eyebrow, mouth too full to speak.

"Isn't time for your medication?" I asked.

The boy just nodded and continued to eat, no care in the world as he paused only to shove a few fries into his mouth. "So..." I trailed off watching him continue on, "Do you have them with you?"

This time he shook his head, a bit slower and more hesitant to respond.

"Why not?"

Jungkook dropped the burger back down and his hands met his lap, the sigh that escaped didn't go unnoticed and neither did the subtle glare towards the tabletop. "Are we going to eat or do you want to keep parenting me?"

I just nodded, not wanting to start anything in this relatively quiet diner. The feeling of hunger in my stomach was replaced with a different kind of gnawing emotion, one made up of curiousness and concern that all mixed together into a feeling of blatant nausea.

Jungkook seemed to have fallen out of his good mood, the lack of consumption and only pushing around the fries gave this away.

It caught me off guard. The quick change of attitude from one so light and joking to another that turned cold. It made it hard to keep my mind from wandering into the numerous possibilities of why this could be and what that means, all not having any positive endings.

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