"Midnight is for regrets."
— Holly Black

Jungkook POV

The moonlight created a contrast across his face. Half cast in darkness while the other shone with a blue light, creating shadows from his eyelashes and sharp jawline.

I was only able to enjoy the natural beauty for a few more seconds before Taehyung leaned forward and kissed me. Lips soft and warm against mine, almost aggressive as he tilted his head to deepen the kiss. Any thought of him being straight evaporated so quickly as his large hands gripped my thighs and his tongue ran across my bottom lip, teeth biting down gently on the pink flesh shortly after, pulling a soft moan from my throat.

Let's not be alone for a moment.

That sentence kept repeating through my mind as I ran my fingers through his hair at the back of his neck, tugging at the roots gently and melting at the sound of the deep groan coming from Taehyung. He pried my lips open and shoved his tongue in my mouth, although it's not like I was objecting.

When his fingers slipped under the hem of my silk shirt and grazed across the small of my back, I couldn't help but arch into him, the throb in my pants was distracting and I suddenly felt embarrassed. He probably only wanted to make out and here I am not being able to control myself on his lap.

I pulled away to apologize again, only to be at a loss for words when I noticed Taehyung's swollen lips twitch up into a smirk, hands moving to my hips as he grinded his hips up against my crotch. My teeth sunk into my bottom lip and I closed my eyes at the pleasure, wanting to smack that dumb smirk off his face and kiss it at the same time.

Taehyung spread his legs more apart to support me on top of him, hand gripping my waist as he pulled me down and pushed up at the same time to create that friction we were both craving. Everything in that moment was just so arousing.

Taehyung's lips moving to my neck, his iron grip on my hips as he pressed up against my crotch, his teeth nipping at my skin as breathy moans left with each exhale.

My hands were no longer shaking. My chest didn't feel like it was trying to close in on itself. My mind felt as ease as I chased that point of pleasure being given to me by this handsome man who just waltzed into my life. There was no inner turmoil in this moment, no fight inside my head to keep out the dark thoughts haunting me for months. I was only selfish for this, these few minutes of a perfect distraction from my lonely self and the monsters that purged their way through my being everyday to rid of any hope or happiness.

Despite the darkness surrounding us as my apartment filled with Taehyung's deep groans and my breathy moans, there was a lightness that I wasn't used to.

"T-Taehyung." I choked out, head tilted back as I bit down on my lip feeling my stomach twist with pleasure and heat.

His hands found my small waist and lips searched for my own, muffling the moans of pleasure that kept flowing like a stream.
"Say that again." Taehyung said, somehow his voice sounded deeper.

I don't understand how just his voice could turn me on so much, but each word sent shots of pleasure throughout my veins and I was shaking in his arms. "Holy shit, Taehyung!" his name fell from my mouth in a groan and his hips bucked against mine in response.

We still had all our fucking clothes on and I was an absolute mess.

"Cum for hyung." he whispered in my ear and that was enough for me. I was done for as I came sitting on his lap, breathing scattered as my forehead fell onto his shoulder.

Taehyung's hips jerked once and a low groan emitted from his chest, I felt the vibrations as my chest was pressed against his still. His hands ran up and down my thighs in a relaxed manner and I tried to catch my breath.

My fingers were still tangled in his hair and I brush them through the soft locks gently, pulling my head up to meet his eyes. Confusions only filled mine when he continued to look down, hands no longer moving over my thighs and shoulders suddenly tense. "Taehyung?" I whispered, there was a sense of worry in my stomach and I felt like throwing up again. His eyebrows were pulled together and he wouldn't look up at me. My fingers stopped moving in his hair and I thought about getting off his lap.

"Jungkook, I-" he started to say but seemed to still be at a loss for words, the nerves only growing as I felt my pulse quicken again.

"That shouldn't have happened."

I froze. I may have stopped breathing as well but honestly I couldn't think straight as my mind fell into a spiral of regret and embarrassment. "For fucks sake." I managed to say between gritted teeth. Anger was always an easy outlet when one feels hurt or embarrassed.

He finally managed to look up at me but I already pushed myself off his lap, feeling gross with myself and debating whether to go clean myself up in the bathroom or throw myself off the balcony. I may have time for both.

"Jungkook wait-" he tried.

But I wasn't having it, there was nothing he could say that would be okay and I just wanted to sleep, "Oh shut up."

Taehyung didn't really have a choice, because I shut my bedroom door behind me and grabbed a pair of sweatpants before going into the bathroom and peeling off all my clothes. I didn't look in the mirror because it was pointless. All I would see was my reflection and that was disappointing enough, especially considering how much of a fool I just made of myself.

I changed and grabbed a towel and some blankets before heading back out to the living room. Taehyung was still sitting there staring at his hands. I threw the blanket and towel on the couch next to him, no expression on my face as I stood a few steps away, "The bathroom is in the hall and there's the couch. You also know where the front door is. Stay or leave, do what you want, just don't bother me."

The buzzing was still there as I walked away and disappeared into my room. The door closing behind me with a click that echoed in the silent room and repeated inside my head a few times. I leaned against the cold wooden door and rubbed my palms down my face, the action doing nothing but blur my vision.

What the fuck just happened. How could he say something like that? It was his fucking idea!

I shook my head and somehow managed to drag my feet to my bed, hitting the soft mattress and letting out a groan as my tense muscles barely relaxed.

It was pointless, trying to sleep. That never came these days and it's been harder to keep my hands to myself as the monsters lurked in my bathroom, begging to be brought out as they sit in innocence claiming to help but only hurting in the end. It was a road I wasn't going down again. A road that had a dead end.

Instead, I did was I always do on nights like those. Some are harder than others, tonight being a little easier. Maybe it was the different kind of thoughts that invaded my head, all surrounding that confusing boy sitting on my couch. I grabbed my headphones and plugged them into my phone, fingertips cold. The smooth hip-hop beats filled my ears and swirled around my head, battling the inner turmoil by drowning it out pleasantly.

I may have stared at the ceiling for a few minutes or hours, I wouldn't know. Everything blurred together in a mess of confusion and feelings of regret, all full of want for my sheets to swallow my whole and never let me leave my room again.

• ♡ •
yo be patient with tae
also these were so rude smh
vote if you love taekook