"When a man is penalized
for honesty he learns to lie."
— Criss Jami, Salomé

Taehyung POV

It wasn't surprising when the next day began with a rough start. The night before wasn't that good either.

After leaving Jungkook's apartment I was met with my little sister at my front door again, except this time she brought our mother. That certainly made every part of my being wish to be tossed down the stairs behind me. Even as an adult I was still got scolded for 'mistreating' my sister and not appreciating her heart's desires or something.

My mother is a scary woman. Along with the loving childhood and packed lunches for school, she had that intense look in her eyes all the time like she was waiting for one of us to fail or disappoint. And when it happened, it was rarely my sister.

This time around she was wondering why I have not given Mina a call yet, the girl my sister wants to set me up with on a date for her wedding. I vividly remember leaving the small slip with her number on my bedside table and consistently giving someone else a call instead.

I was currently staring at the piece of paper now, the black ink smudged but still legible, with a clueless Jimin searching through my closest.

"You know it's not that big of a deal." he said after eating the breakfast I made and leaving his dish in the sink. Now he wanted to go through my clothes and find an outfit for shopping later on today. "Just give the girl a call, invite her as your date and then cross your fingers that she's cute."

I scoffed, tossing the paper back on the side and laying on my back to stare up at the ceiling. A pair of pants landed on my face seconds later and Jimin giggled, "You have to wear those later."

"That reminds me!" he exclaimed after a few more silent moments of rustling amongst my things, "I forgot to text Jungkook that I called out of work today, he'll be confused why I'm not in class."

"Wait don't," I sat up quickly, my mouth moving faster than my logic. Jimin froze with his fingers hovering over the screen, eyes wide and lips parted slightly, "What now?" he asked.

My teeth chewed on the inside of my cheek, my stomach twisting into knots as I sighed, "Don't tell him what we're doing today."

Jimin didn't seem to catch on, I didn't expect him to. All he did was laugh lightly, "Why not? We're just going to get our suits fitted, I doubt he'll care that much."

"Yeah but then he'll ask why."

"That's his conversations work Tae, I think I can handle it."

I glared at him, the sass not needed today from him only to add to my growing stress.

Jimin held his hands up in defense and shrugged, "He's got to get a suit also, or he'll show up in ripped jeans and some leopard print see-through top that screams elegance-"

I cut him off quickly, "I'm not inviting him to the wedding Jimin."

The other boy was quiet for a moment, fingers still hovering over his phone and allowing a light laugh to escape once again, "What do you mean?" His arms dropped to his sides and I could feel the hot stare on the side of my face, "We're all going, why wouldn't he? There's gonna be you, me, Hoseok, and Namjoon with his boyfriend." Jimin's voice was getting louder as he continued, the annoyance and discontentment with the situation evident.

He wasn't finished, "Even Yoongi would be going if he didn't have a family event at the same time."

"Jimin please." I said, my eyes squeezed shut and fingers running through my hair. "You think I'm happy about this?" I wasn't in the mood to talk about this and psycho-analyze my family and their views and how they're indirectly affecting my choices.

The smaller boy scoffed, any interest in picking out outfits had evaporated from his mind as his sole focus was burning a hole through my head with just his stare. "You're asking me to lie to my best friend." he said after a few seconds of silence. There was no longer any hint of annoyance to his voice, just a light softness. Almost like a whisper in the wind.

"I'm your friend too, Jimin." I looked over at him, my stomach dropping as his gaze remained anywhere but on me.

He shook his head a bit, the slightest movement that I still caught, "Are you right now?" Jimin asked.

"I'm not about to bring him into a situation where my family is free to say what they feel and risk him getting hurt." I stood from the bed, Jimin tilted his chin up a bit and crossed his arms. The same thing he always does when he's prepared to get defensive. This can be over big issues or even over small things like defending an outfit he swears is in style.

Jimin rolled his eyes and they finally met mine, the furrow of his eyebrows as he frowned at my words, "You're kidding me right? Jungkook wouldn't give a fuck if someone called him out for being gay, that kid would laugh it off and make some joke about sucking dick better than anyone just to feed his own ego."

My jaw clenched and I crossed my own arms, the heat in chest from frustration growing as this conversation continued.

"Don't try to make this about him." Jimin said, "This is about you ignoring how you feel and wanting to keep your family happy thinking that fucking conversion therapy worked, it's nothing but bullshit."

Every word felt like a slap to the face and a stab to the heart, the truth behind them leaving the lasting sting. I always made things about myself.

I could feel him looking at me, waiting for something, anything. But I had nothing to say. What could I say?

Instead I walked to the window, pushing it open and closing my eyes as the breeze blew across my face. Jimin scoffed again, I've lost track how many times by now, and I just grabbed a cigarette off the windowsill and lit it.

It wasn't until he spoke up again, that I truly felt my heart finally take all it could.

"Would you be this way if Yoongi was able to go to the wedding?" his question was quiet, whispered softly and delicately as if he knew the answer would be the hardest to hear.

I dropped the barely smoked cigarette, my fingers shaking as I turned to face my friend. The redness of his cheeks from precious anger had gone, instead there was a glossiness to his eyes as they blinked back at me, "What?" I managed to get out.

Jimin pursed his lips, I could see the deep breaths he was taking from the rise and fall of his chest. "If Yoongi wasn't busy," he stopped himself and blinked, "Would not have wanted us there?"

"No, that's not-" I shook my head trying to find the words but my mind was spinning, just trying to get them out quick enough to avoid a huge misunderstanding, "Jimin that's never something I'd ever feel." I stepped to him and held my hand out, the gentle shake of his head halting my movements. He crossed his arms and directed his eyes to the floor, teeth chewing on his bottom lip.

"Jimin-"

He stopped me again, "I'm going to get my shoes, we should get going."

I only nodded, leaving my arms at my side as Jimin turned to walk to the door. He stopped for a moment with his hand on the doorknob, hesitantly glancing over his shoulder.
"I'm going to be quiet because you're my friend and you asked me to, and it's not my place to make these decisions."

Before I could mutter a thank you he kept going, apparently really not in the mood to be interrupted or hear anyone else's voice but his own, "But the second he gets hurt, I'm out." Jimin met my eyes and I nodded, completely understanding.

"It's going to be fine, we're just going to go and get it over with and then not talk about it again." I said.

He nodded slowly, somewhat convinced but still seemingly bothered, "Its not going to be my fault this time."

I wasn't sure if he was talking to me just then, or simply saying what was on his mind and what he hopes won't happen. Either way, I felt conflicted and more confused than ever, suddenly feeling like mentioning the basket under Jungkook's sink to Jimin wasn't a good idea right now.

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