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WALKING IN THE WIND
xvi. A WORLD ALONE

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  ODETTE DID NOT SLEEP for even a second the night the Narnians infiltrated Telmar.

  She had said goodbye thousands of times before. In fact, she found herself saying it often, and she loathed it, never quite getting used to it. Goodbyes were constant in the life of a princess whose kingdom was always at war, whether with other kingdoms or itself.

  She made it a habit to bid her kingdom's soldiers goodbye before they were shipped off. It always disturbed her because deep down, she knew she was sending them off to their impending doom (and if they miraculously survived, they returned with nightmares to last them a lifetime, which seemed worse than death). But she sucked it up and dealt with her discomfort because if they could not say goodbye to their loved ones one last time, they could at least have a final moment with a kind spirit.

  Odette never did get used to the eerie feeling she got when she said goodbye, but she did manage to forget about it during her time in London. But now that she was in that familiar position again, saying goodbye to the Narnians as they marched off to Telmar, that awful feeling returned to her. This time, it felt a million times worse. Because among the masses was her best friend.

  Odette always knew that Hope was the kind of person you could call for any kind of issue, but fighting a war should never have been on the list. This wasn't some juvenile overnight trip or a vacation. It was a gamble between life and death, and Odette feared she might lose her best friend in this war.

  Then again, perhaps she already had. They hadn't spoken to each other in days. It wasn't like Odette didn't try. Every time she approached Hope, the latter would run away. Odette didn't realize how badly she screwed up until she realized she was about to lose the only important thing she had left.

  To keep herself busy, Odette stepped into a role of leadership. Yes, there were already five people (the Pevensies and Caspian) that were leaders, but all of them were preoccupied with the night raid. Then, Hope got roped into the war, too, leaving Odette to deal with a handful of people who were in desperate need of some leadership.

  Odette took care of the handmaids, children, and anyone else who couldn't fight. For once, she was taking responsibility and using what her parents taught her all those years ago. She just hoped she wasn't too overbearing or mean like her parents were. She hoped she was kinder than they were (which was proving to be difficult since everyone shared a vendetta against Hope, and Odette grew frustrated every time they slandered her name). It was strange being in charge of people like this, but it was doable.

  This was why Odette did not sleep once that entire night.

  How could she? The people needed her. A war being fought not too far from their doorstep. The Narnians were at Telmar, fighting for their lives, their people, their homes. It felt selfish of her to rest peacefully while the others could not. Instead, she spent the night calming the Narnians as best as she could, praying they could not detect her anxiety.

  Luckily, Lucy, who had also stayed behind, couldn't sleep either. They spent the night together, sitting in Aslan's How, sharing stories about their lives and anecdotes about the magic they dearly missed feeling in Narnia. But despite the comfort each other's company brought, nothing could tame the anxiety in their hearts, not even when the Narnians finally returned.

  When Odette heard someone shout from across the How of the Narnians' return, she ran outside to greet the cavalry (and she hated running. But she could make an exception for this).

  Dawn had broken, but sunlight did not touch the earth. Dark clouds gathered among the heavens, holding hands as they watched the Narnians trek toward the How. Peter and Caspian led the soldiers. Any ounce of hope drained from Odette as she saw their faces.

  Odette was among the first to stand outside, Lucy and the others following after her. Her heart plummeted into her stomach. The numbers were much smaller than she recalled. She held her breath, attention flickering between each Narnian. There was so much red. Red from wounds. Red from heated faces. Red from frantic eyes. Red from bloodstained clothing. Each detail of red tightened her stomach more and more until—at long last—there was a flash of red hair in the crowd. Hope.

  Odette could exhale again. She's alive.

  But that did not mean all was well. The soldiers wore tired grimaces, frowns tugging to the center of the earth. They did not march, but rather, they trudged. Odette was not confused by this though. She had seen this scene many times before. They lost.

  Lucy did not speak until Peter found her gaze. "What happened?" she quietly asked.

  Peter nodded toward Caspian. "Ask him."

  "Peter—" Susan tried, but it was futile.

  "Me? You could have called it off," Caspian accused. They stopped walking at once. "There was still time."

  "No, there wasn't, thanks to you," Peter dryly said. His exhaustion showed on his face and hung on his words, yet he still had it in him to pick a fight with the prince. "If you kept to the plan, those soldiers might be alive right now."

  "And if you'd stayed here, like I suggested, they definitely would be!" Caspian shouted, raising his voice so much that it awakened the tired Narnians.

  "You called us, remember?"

  "My first mistake," Caspian sneered.

  "No." Peter scoffed, beginning to walk into the How. "Your first mistake was thinking you could lead these people."

  Hope looked to Susan as they stood side-by-side, but the Gentle Queen did not move. Hope's gaze darted toward Odette. There it was again: a brief glance that made the world slow down.

  "HEY!" Caspian roared. His shout anchored Peter's feet, forcing him to turn back around. "I am not the one who abandoned Narnia."

  Odette knew it wasn't her war to fight, but Caspian's words made her feel sick. How dare he point fingers when his people were the ones who forced Narnia into this state? She nearly opened her mouth to intervene, but Peter's rage skyrocketed. It could move mountains and part clouds, it could slice the sun in half and strip the birds of their wings.

  "You invaded Narnia. You have NO MORE RIGHT TO LEAD IT THAN MIRAZ DOES!" Peter growled. Caspian pushed past him to head inside, but Peter kept going. "You, him, your father..." Caspian froze. "Narnia's better off without the lot of you!"

  Caspian turned, and with a loud, enraged battle cry, he withdrew his sword. Peter followed suit, their weapons pointed toward each other's faces. Their blades were stained with blood already, though it seemed neither was afraid to dirty them further.

  Odette sharply gasped. Lucy reached for the princess's hand. Susan paled. As for Hope, she mustered up what little strength she had left and shouted, "STOP!"

  Her voice was strained, raspy as she yelled at them. It was the first time she'd spoken since they left Telmar. She rushed forward, sword in hand again. Only this time, she was pointing it at Peter.

  "DON'T TOUCH HIM!" Hope went on.

  Peter's eyes softened, disappointment flooding them. How had they gone from fighting side-by-side to standing opposite each other?

  "Hope...?" Lucy meekly called.

  Caspian was equally as confused. "What are you—?"

  Hope ignored him, her attention focused on the High King. "You can't... You can't hurt him."

  "Why shouldn't I?" Peter demanded, his frustration boiling over again. "He's a COWARD!"

  "Because!" Hope hesitated, lowering her sword and wavering with exhaustion. "Because he's one of us!"

  "What are you talking about?" Peter demanded. His golden hair stuck to his forehead as he stared at her. He did not falter, even after her weapon lowered. "He's no Narnian. He never was, he never will be—!"

  "Not Narnian!" Hope desperately yelled. "I mean, he's... he's like me and Odette. He's Wysterian." No one objected to this. They didn't know how to. It didn't make any sense. Hope's voice croaked as she continued, "They all are. The Telmarines are of Wysterian descent. Miraz told me himself."

  Odette froze. The Telmarines... were Wysterian? The Telmarines were Wysterian. The Telmarines are Wysterian. Her heart rattled against her ribcage as Odette's jaw fell. She'd been helping lead the fight against her own people. 

  The world was so silent that it must've stopped turning. No one moved nor spoke, not even to whisper amongst themselves. They could only watch, frozen with the revelation of her words.

  "I'm telling the truth," Hope said. "Before the Telmarines took Narnia, they found Wysteria first—"

  Finding his voice again, Caspian snarled, "And you waited this long to tell us?"

  Hope's eye twitched. "When exactly was I meant to tell you? Before your uncle nearly strangled me to death? During the bloodshed?"

  Odette's head snapped upward. Strangled?

  "You're lying," Caspian insisted.

  "What would I gain from lying?" Hope fired back. "I can explain everything—"

  "Save it." Caspian glared at her heatedly for reasons she could not bother wrapping her head around. Sheathing his sword, he turned his back to them and stomped into the How, leaving the others to face Hope's truth.

  No one else spoke for a long moment. Hope's news shattered the spell of outrage that'd taken the Narnians, leaving only confusion. It was all so very silent, silent enough for Hope to question whether it was a good idea to announce such a thing to so many people at a time like this.

  But she could not help that all she was thinking about was how the Wysterian bloodline managed to survive after all these years, hiding in the brutish Telmarines. Her people, her kingdom, her home. Even if she did not particularly like Caspian, she could not bear to watch a fellow Wysterian be harmed.

  Lucy was not the first to break the silence, but she was the first to move. Fire-flower juice in hand, she tended to the injured soldiers. Other Narnians followed suit, tending to them carefully. They were all lined up, one after another. Edmund had been taking care of the wounded during this, so Hope thought he might've missed her announcement. But she knew he did not because if he did, he would've made some silly comment about how quiet everyone had gotten.

  Peter and Hope stared at each other for a long moment, waiting for the other to move or speak. He eventually put his sword away. Gently, he asked, "Are you okay?"

  "No," Hope said. "Are you?"

  "I don't see how I could be," Peter muttered.

  Hope looked out to the others, where she found Odette. She was unmoving, face wrinkled with the weight of her thoughts. She looked like she was fighting some sort of battle in her head and trying to rationalize the news that maybe her kingdom hadn't completely fallen apart.

  Hope stepped away, leisurely making her way to the princess.

  "Can we talk?"

○ ○ ○

  Odette did not interrupt once as Hope told her everything she knew.

  They retired to a more private area of the woods, where no curious ears could eavesdrop. The frozen trees could not move to protect them, but they thankfully seemed to enclose them from the rest of Narnia, from the rest of the world. No one else existed outside their little corner, not even Aslan. For the first time in what seemed like ages, it was just Hope and Odette again.

  It was strange to think they had not been alone like this in days, even stranger for them to sit in such muted air. Dull moments were foreign to the pair, at least back in the day. For the first time, neither knew how to speak to the other.

  Odette folded her hands in her lap. "And you're certain Miraz isn't lying? What if he was using some sort of mind trick to fool you?"

  "I suspected the same," said Hope, "but every detail aligns. He even knew who you were, which is more than what the Narnians have known thus far. The story's too intricate to not be true. Whether we like it or not, the Telmarines are our people."

  Odette pinched the bridge of her nose, exhausted. "This is a political nightmare. I don't even want to be in the kingdom when everyone tries to work out treaties and trade deals and land allotment."

  "This isn't going to end with any treaties, never mind an alliance," Hope whispered. "You didn't see what I saw last night."

  "I have an idea of what unfolded in Telmar. You look like hell."

  That didn't surprise Hope. Her hair was a tangled nest. Her body was decorated with new wounds. Bags dragged her eyes down. Her neck felt the worst though. A deep purple bruise wrapped around it, a new necklace for her distressed dress. Perhaps it would have benefitted her to taste some of Lucy's fire-flower juice.

  Hope tried to laugh, but she winced. Her sides ached with every breath. "I've been thinking a lot about... everything that's happened."

  Eagerly, Odette said, "Me too. I-I want to apologize. I'm so sorry, Hope. For everything. I shouldn't have lied to you. I can hardly recognize myself knowing that I did. I lied to you, I made you feel inferior, and it was— it is wrong of me. You don't know how badly I wish I could return to London and start over again."

  "No, I'm sorry," Hope said. "I understand why you didn't want to tell me... especially about the dreams. I'm not entitled to every last thought in that head of yours. I knew you felt suffocated in Wysteria, but you always... well, it seemed like you handled it so well. I was a blind fool to think it wasn't affecting you as deeply as it did."

  "That doesn't change that what I did, taking my frustrations out on you, pushing my faults onto you, was wrong," Odette replied. "I wanted to tell you about my dreams. Really, I did. But the idea of them scared me. I didn't understand what they were, and I was so worried about you—"

  "I know. I get it now. It's okay—"

  "It's not," Odette argued, this time more firmly. "If it was, we wouldn't have been fighting for so long. I was scared and confused about the dreams. I despised how they made me feel, like I was some puppet for a kingdom I didn't know. That doesn't mean it was acceptable in any capacity to lie to you and call you crazy. You aren't childish. You aren't delusional. Nothing will ever make what I did to you acceptable."

  "Neither of us knew what those dreams meant. You thought you were helping me by steering me away from them. I understand now," Hope confessed. "I do wish I thought more critically about how your parents treated you. I hated them for it— I still hate them for it. But I should've thought more about how it made you feel. I didn't know you were so... so angry—"

  "You were just trying to do your job," Odette assured. "This life I live... or lived... It was one of privilege and opportunity, but it wasn't easy. My parents placed so much pressure on me to be the perfect proper princess they wanted me to be. I wanted it, too, but... that's not who I am. I'm not sure who I truly am, but I know what I'm certainly not. I recognize that now. And I'm so sorry for taking my anger out on you. I shouldn't have blamed you."

  Hope tilted her head, forcing Odette to meet her gaze. "But you weren't wrong. Everything happened because of me. If I had just told Edmund to piss off, maybe the Pevensies never would've left Narnia. Maybe they never would've gone looking for that magical stag in search of us. Maybe they would've dealt with the Telmarines and Wysteria. But hypotheticals have no place in the world. We can only use what's in front of us now," Hope said. "I wanted to tell you about Edmund. I did so... so badly. I was just so worried. For my life, for your future. I knew how much that marriage meant to you."

  Odette found herself laughing. It sounded so misplaced there, in that lonely slice of the forest. "You know what's funny? It didn't... mean as much as I let on."

  Hope's brows scrunched together. "Ode, you made me run across the castle to fetch you gloves for Edmund's arrival in Wysteria."

  "Well—"

  "It was spring."

  Odette shook her head, rattling off, "The point is, fate is out of our control. You have no right to take all of the blame for yourself. You listened to your heart. You let him get closer to you because it made you happy, and you knew it'd make me happy. I mean, I was the one begging you two to befriend each other from the very beginning."

  "But, Ode..." Hope placed her hand over the princess's. "What do you mean when you say the wedding didn't mean much to you?"

  Odette ignored her. "I mean, truthfully, I know I'll be apologizing for the rest of my life. You've always been so patient with me, and when it was my turn to be patient with you, I... I failed. I was blinded by my feelings, trying to grow up... I didn't recognize that I was doing to you what my parents did to me. I'll spend the rest of our lives apologizing for my feelings if that's what it takes—"

  "Odette Dunbar," Hope interrupted. The princess looked at her, tears leaking from her eyes. Hope flinched. She didn't understand why she was crying. Her tone softened. "Odette... why do I get the feeling there's something else you aren't telling me?"

  Odette squeezed her eyes shut. "Because... it feels like..." She inhaled a shallow breath, lip quivering. "It feels like no matter how much I apologize for what I feel, nothing will make it... right."

  "Odette, I forgive you," Hope assured. "I understand better now—"

  "Not that, Hope," Odette whispered. "My... feelings. I want to apologize for those, but... they're..."

  Hope blinked helplessly. The breeze wrapped around them, the morning sunshine bringing them closer together. "They're... what?"

  "They're wrong, Hope," Odette whispered. "I know who I am.... what I am, and it's wrong. It's all wrong. It's why I was so angry with you, with Edmund. I was so angry with you because it was my one chance at hiding what I felt. Edmund was my one chance to grow past this... feeling I have."

  Odette finally opened her eyes to take in her best friend one last time. This was it. It didn't matter that Hope had forgiven her for what was in the past now. This, surely, would sever them apart forever.

  With a small voice, Hope asked, "What sort of feeling is it?"

  "A wrong one."

  "Why is it wrong?"

  "Because I like it, Hope. What I feel... it isn't right, but I like it," Odette grated. She placed her other hand over Hope's. "Do you remember my previous lady-in-waiting? The one before you?"

  Of course, Hope did. Her name was Sabran, only a few years older than the princess. She had long, dark hair and eyes like the Wysterian sea, with specks of green in them. She was well-liked by the servants, but she was quiet. She kept to herself. No one knew much about her, only that she was Princess Odette's handmaid for a long time until she mysteriously retired. It was an odd announcement that sort of came out of the blue. Again, she wasn't much older than Odette. There was no reason for her to retire due to old age. But no one was close enough to Sabran to know what brought on her retirement.

  One day, Sabran was there. Glued to Odette's side, whispering back and forth during dinners. And then, one day, Sabran was gone, and Lady Hope Edwards was taking her place.

  "Sabran," Hope recalled, nodding. "I never thought to ask until now, but... why did she retire so abruptly?"

  Odette's gaze fell. There came a pause. "Because I loved her, Hope. I loved her in a way that... that was wrong. I loved her in a way that I was supposed..." She shut her eyes again. "I loved her the way I am supposed to love men."

  The words dissolved on Hope's tongue. But she's a woman, she nearly said. Instead, she was quiet.

  "My mother knew before I did... of what I am, of what I feel for... for people who are not men," Odette whispered. The winds lowered, as if to assure the princess that her words would not be carried across the land for her sake. "She was the one who found us out. My father had Sabran executed that same evening. It was quick, quiet... and I hope as painless as an execution can be. No one was as close to her as I was. Hardly anyone remembered who she was after a month."

  Hope opened her mouth. Nothing came out.

  "I continued my performance for my parents, for Wysteria," Odette continued. "My parents spent the next three years working on renewing their alliance with Narnia. They wanted me wedded to a husband as soon as possible. And all those years, they were too distracted by that to notice... history was repeating itself."

  "It was?" Hope asked. But Odette didn't speak, only stared at her best friend long enough for her to realize what she was trying to say. "Odette... I-I'm not—"

  "That is why I wanted to marry so soon. That is why I hated the both of you so much," Odette quickly sputtered. "I love women the way I should love men. I felt nothing for Edmund, and I purposely made myself busy to spend less time with him. And I was so relieved, Hope. I knew long ago that you had feelings for him, long before either of you recognized it yourselves. But, God, I was so fucking relieved that you fell for him. Because it meant he wouldn't be in a loveless marriage. I mean, he would be, but he would have you. A-And I would tell you my secret, and I would get to find love of my own again."

  Odette glanced back up at the handmaid, trying to hold onto her courage. She was trembling all over now. "I would find another Sabran. I would find another... another you to fall in love with. And I wouldn't be alone ever again," Odette went on. "I could be a queen. I could be married to a man. And I could love a woman. And I could reign with my best friend by my side. And everything would work out. Everything would be okay. That was my plan all along, Hope. That is why I was so frustrated with you. It doesn't make it okay, but..."

  Hope pulled away from Odette's touch, and the princess tensed. She couldn't bear to look at her. Finally, the last secret was out. This was it. This would be the last Odette ever heard from Hope. Surely, the news of this sin would spread to the Narnians and Telmarines. They would hate her, scorn her. At least the heat would be taken off of Hope. If Odette were to be executed for loving women, then so be it—

  "Oh, Ode," Hope said. She grabbed the princess, pulling her into a tight embrace. Finally, Odette let out a sob as she buried her face into her handmaid's neck. "I'm so sorry. I can't imagine what this all has done to you. I'm so sorry, Odette."

  Odette pulled away suddenly. "...Do you hate me?"

  Hope squeezed the princess's shoulders. "Listen to me very carefully. There is nothing wrong with you."

  Odette scoffed.

  "The god of this land is a lion. Animals can talk. A horse saved my life last night. Fairies hate me," Hope rattled off. "And you think there is something wrong with you? You think there is no place in this world for someone like you?"

  "My parents—"

  "Your parents are narcissistic, malicious demons that ruled over an extremely backward kingdom. And maybe London isn't much better in that regard. And who knows what Narnia believes because I sure don't. But I don't care what anyone has to say," Hope declared. "It doesn't matter who you love so long as they are compassionate, patient, and hold you like you're her last dying breath. Odette, I want you to be happy."

  Odette sniffled. "It's... It isn't possible for someone like me—"

  "You are made of moondust, my princess. How could you ever think there's something wrong with you?" Hope asked. She brushed Odette's hair behind her ear, thumbing away her tears. "I cannot love you the way you deserve to be loved, Odette. But I will always love you with everything in my being. I will love you until we're old and gray. They'll have to bury our ashes together if they want to separate us. You are my favorite person in this world and the next. As long as you know me, you will never be alone again, and I will happily stand by your side when you inevitably fall in love with your wife."

  Odette had nothing left to say to that. She threw herself back into Hope's embrace, letting herself finally release everything she'd been bottling up her entire life. Sweet relief, that was all this was. Maybe, and this was a very strong maybe, Odette could live the life she deserved with a woman she loved. That was what Susan had told her when Odette revealed her secrets. Susan had been so kind, understanding. She'd held Odette for hours after. The princess had never felt so accepted in her life, and now that she had the pleasure of experiencing that relief again, she almost felt like she didn't deserve it.

  Perhaps Hope was right. Maybe all of this happening was a good thing. Everything was out in the air. The world wasn't ending. Odette wasn't hated or harmed by the few people she had left in this world.

  They stayed like that for a while, holding each other. Eventually, Hope began to cry, and she wasn't even sure why. So much had happened in such a short yet long window of time. It was okay to cry. They had a right to cry.

  As long as they had each other, everything would be okay.

  As the sun reached its apex, the girls finally pulled apart from each other. To their surprise, they giggled at the sight of the other, with their bloodshot, sleepless eyes and puffy faces. They laughed and laughed, and it was like they were back home in Wysteria or even London again, where nothing really mattered.

  "I should be thanking you, you know," Hope soon said. "If it wasn't for you, I don't think I would've survived last night."

  The princess's face contorted with confusion. How was that even possible? She'd been holed up at Aslan's How all night!

  "The whole time, I kept thinking about you," Hope shyly confessed. "It was all that was getting me through each fight. Every time I got hit or knocked down or overpowered by someone, I thought of you, and you inspired me to keep fighting. It's sort of a tangled thought that I was having. I couldn't stomach the thought of you losing the last thing you had left from Wysteria, and I couldn't sit still thinking about you getting hurt if Miraz managed to kill me."

  She faltered when Odette reached out and wiped her tears with the pads of her thumbs.

  "Sorry. I don't know why I'm still crying—"

  "It was a long night, and you fought very hard, my knight. I think you're allowed to shed a few tears," Odette dismissed. "I'm glad you survived. Your dad would be proud of you."

  Sniffling, Hope asked, "You think so?"

  "I do."

  Hope took her hand, holding it tightly.

  "I want to be better," Odette said after a moment. Her voice was timid, which was so unlike the princess. "I want to be the person my parents thought they were, the person I was supposed to be. I got so... caught up in their bullshit and their lies and their abuse. I lost track of what mattered. I want to be better, but I don't even know what that means. I don't even know who I am anymore."

  "They might have poisoned your spirit, but they've never been able to take your heart," Hope said. "I think you know who you are, deep down. I think you fear the judgment of others for not being the person everyone else wanted you to be, and you fear not being accepted because of it. That's how you've always been. You want everyone to like you, to be everyone's perfect version of you. And that's not fair on you. You can't stretch yourself thin anymore. That's why you started pushing me and your dreams away. It's easier to run away than to conform to what people want from you. But you don't have to do that anymore. The only person left that can judge you is you, Ode."

  Odette scoffed.

  "I'm serious! Who gives a damn what anyone else thinks?" Hope asserted. "Free yourself from the judgment of others, and watch how much happier you become. It's what you deserve. I know this because I know you, Ode."

  Odette cracked a smile. "I will if you do the same. You are so much more than what my parents claimed of you. You are so much more than what those blind Narnians say about you. Who gives a damn about an accidental marriage? They're being far too dramatic for people who weren't even there to see you and Edmund fall for each other in the first place."

  Hope's face burned. "Oh, shut up."

  Odette laughed, and the sky seemed to brighten. But her face soon fell again. "Hope, what do you reckon is going to happen now?" she inquired. "The Telmarines are our people. As deeply as it pains me to accept, they are Wysterian. Are we meant to continue fighting them in this war? Isn't there some sort of... political advantage we have now that you and I are back?"

  Hope shrugged, watching a beetle crawl past her foot. "I'm not sure. But technically, you are the rightful heir to the throne. Perhaps once Miraz is dealt with... a new ruler could take his place."

  Odette said nothing to that, though she did perk up at the idea of saving her home.

  "About the dreams," Odette said, "you know how you kept saying there were blank spots in your dreams that you couldn't make sense of? I was dreaming of them. That's why you didn't know who Aslan truly was or who the Pevensies were."

  Hope hummed. It was strange to think that they were always somehow connected, whether it was through working together or having unusual dreams that linked together. She wondered why Aslan would want things to happen this way— Wait a minute...

  "Ode... You don't reckon that Aslan Jr. was Aslan... do you?"

  Odette's eyes widened. "No! Of course not. That was... That was just a cat!"

  "A cat that followed us everywhere! Is it really that hard to believe?" A smile spread across Hope's face. "Oh my God... You called Aslan stupid!"

  "Did not!" Odette laughed. Her face burned at the thought. "No way, I didn't! That wasn't him... It couldn't be...!"

  But the more she considered it, the more she realized that Hope was probably right. Aslan worked in strange ways, after all. Their laughter became tangled as they went back and forth about it.

  "Oh, whatever!" Odette exclaimed. "Now, tell me all about how you and Edmund accidentally got married."

  "Wait, you don't know?"

  "No! Tell me everything!"

  Hesitation crossed Hope's face. "Are you sure? I know it's kind of a touchy subject..."

  Odette took her hand again. "I could never love him the way I was supposed to, the same way I know you could never love me the way I would want you to," she said. "Besides, it's making me think about fate again. Destiny and whatnot. I know what I've said before. I still don't know how I feel about the notion of something so far out of our control, but maybe it's like you said. Maybe gravity was pushing you and Edmund together all along. Think about it, you two managed to find each other again after losing each other for a thousand years. That doesn't just happen to anyone. Doesn't that sound like something you'd read in your romance stories?"

  Hope's cheeks reddened. She never thought about it like that.

  And as Hope went on to tell Odette all of the stories she'd been keeping to herself, the ongoing war slipped from their minds.

  Though it was only temporary, it was nice pretending to exist in a world alone — together; a world where Odette and Hope were just two girls waiting for the rest of their lives to begin again.

○ ○ ○

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

"Okay, Liza, don't just brush over the conflict for the sake of moving the story along. Remember, character development is key when it comes to a decent story!"

"Okay, sure!" *Proceeds to make Hope and Odette fight for 16 chapters*

Anyway, I'm editing this chapter in 2024, a few years after I wrote it. If you're a rereader, you might've noticed that Odette's coming out wasn't originally in this chapter. It was always my intention to make Odette a lesbian—and like many of you guessed, she was in love with Hope. But love is not simple. Love is not easy, especially given Odette's unique circumstances.

I've never written a coming out scene before, so I wanted to get it right. Hope could never hate Odette for being a lesbian, and Odette could never hate Hope for not loving her in that way. The tension between them is layered, complicated. There is so much that went into their long, long fight(s), and I really hope I fleshed out those arcs as well as I possibly could!

Hope and Odette have a complex relationship. Their development, especially Odette's, is very important to me! I hope you understand both sides of their perspectives and feel satisfied with their issues (with each other) reaching a close. Both girls have so much in store for them still, but I wanted this chapter to really feel like a conclusion for all of that inner turmoil.

Hope and Odette are certainly flawed characters. By no means are they perfect! But they are family, and they do love each other enough to accept each other's wrongdoings and move forward together. I really love them, and I'm eager to write out their friendship again :') Let me know your thoughts if you have any!

AND SHOUTOUT TO ALL MY LESBIANS OUT THERE. AND OTHER WOMAN LOVERS ALSO. SAPPHICS ACROSS THE WORLD! I LOVE GAY PEOPLE!