Warning: suicidal thoughts!

-Chapter 4

  I slowly got up to the sound of my mother's sweet voice. "Wake up, honey.. Time for school.." she said softly. My eyes fluttered open, reavealing my mother's sunlit face. She smiled. "I'll let you get ready, dear. I'll fix a nice breakfast. What do you want?" "Um.. Pancakes?" I asked with a sleepy voice. "Sounds wonderful! I'll get started on that!" She exclaimed, and walked out of my room. Thankfully last night I didn't have another nightmare, so the day seemed better for me. 

 I carefully got out of bed, plopping right into my wheelchair like I've done for the past couple of years. Since the incident, I've been getting better at this, but I still get those nightmares sometimes. 

 I opened the drawer to my dresser, pulling out a rustic mint green T-shirt, khaki cargo shorts, and a deep green sleeveless hoodie. I quickly brushed me teeth, and my hair, deciding to leave it down for today. It easily reached my shoulders. 

 I quickly made my way down the ramp, to get to the kitchen downstairs. 

 I heard some sniffles, and a cough from the table. I curiously wheeled into the kitchen to see who was sick. 

 Poor James. He looked more pale than usual. His freckles didn't pop like they usually did, and his hair was very messy. I frowned. "Hey Jamie, you sick?" I asked softly, situating myself in the seat beside him. He nodded, sniffling. "It's a cold.." he said in that funny voice that you make when your nose is blocked off. I nodded. "I'm sorry, bud.." I said, smiling sympathetically. "It's ok.." he whispered. His voice was hoarse. 

 "Here you go boys! James, don't forget to take your medicine right after you eat, okay?" Mom set two plates before us with pancakes, then went to go fix her own. "Okay, momma.." James said weakly. I frowned at his state. 

 I finished my pancakes quickly, seeing as I was almost late. I placed my dishes in the sink and quickly wheeled over to the door. "Bye mom, I love you! By Jame, feel better!" I called to them. "Bye!" They said in unison, followed by one of James' coughs. 

 I sighed and quickly exited the house, hoping I wouldn't be late. 

  I quickly went up the ramp to get to the school entrance, and pushed the 'disabled' button, that automatically opens the doors for you. I've seen many people do it before, just because they're lazy. 

 As I entered, I was pushed to the ground, and heard an all-to-familiar laugh behind me, followed by a few more snickers. My knees felt wet. Hopefully, it wasn't blood, but with my luck it could be. My hands hurt, but they weren't as bad. 

 Thomas Jefferson kicked my side, making me yelp in pain. They all laughed darkly, hitting me, kicking me, name-calling me. 

 My head hurt. "GET OFF OF ME!" I screamed as loud as I could, hoping to get attention from by passers. "Seriously? You actually think someone will save you!?" A kid named, Samuel scoffed, pushing me so my head hit the floor. I winced. That'll leave a bruise. 

 Tears threatened to fall. They would fall, and wouldn't stop. 

 "GET AWAY!!" I screamed, hoping they'd go away. Even I knew that wouldn't work, but it's worth a try. "How-" Kick. "About-" Kick. "No!" Kick. 

 My whole body ached. I just felt like dying right then and there. It would be better for everyone else, wouldn't it?

 Maybe I should consid- "HEY! GET AWAY FROM HIM, YOU BASTARDS!" Someone yelled from behind me. I was shaking with fear, tears nearly falling. I wouldn't let them fall yet. Not yet.

 "Shit-" Thomas whispered. "Come on boys! Let's go!" He yelled, running in the other direction. 

 The person ran up to me. Alex. 

 "Oh my god! oh my god! Please tell me you're okay?!" He yelled, eyes wide with concern. I couldn't help it anymore. I couldn't hold in the tears. I just let them out. Alex picked cradled me in his arms, whispering sweet things to me. I sobbed into his sweatshirt, the voiced in my mind telling me to end everything.

 I'm not suicidal. I can't be.

 I covered my face with my hands, not caring if my whole body ached. "Where does it hurt?" Alex asked softly. "E-Everywhere.." I whispered. "Is it ok I check?" He asked. I nodded slowly, closing my eyes. "Alright." He lifted me up, surprisingly, and set me down in my, thankfully undamamged, wheelchair. He slowly lifted me shirt, making me wince in pain. I could hear him gasp. "I-Is it.. bad?" I asked. "You're already starting to bruise.." he mumbled worriedly. A few more tears fell down my cheeks. Why does this always happen to me?

 Is it because I'm just that useless wheelchair kid? 

 "Your knees! We have to bandage those.." Alex furrowed his eyebrows. "I just.. I wanna go home, Lex.." I whispered, trying not to cry again. "Shh, I know, I know.." he hushed me, caressing my cheeks with his thumbs. Tears glazed my eyes, which were red and puffy. "It will be okay. I'm here know.." he whispered. I tried to smile at him. He smiled warmly back. 

 "Now, I have some gauze in my locker. It's just down the hall.. I can push you there?" I nodded slowly. He smiled wider than before. "Okay!" He gently pushed me along, I could feel his glances. 

 We arrived at his locker whenever he stopped at one. He put in his combination quickly, and opened the door, scanning it for gauze. "Here we go.." he mumbled, pulling some out. 

 He gently wrapped my knees, trying to be careful. His eyebrows were furrowed in concentration, his tounge sticking out slightly, which I found cute. Cute? 

 Cute.

 "I'll call the nurse, and ask to send you home, or I could take you there myself?" He looked at me for approval. "But what about school?" I asked. "You're more important than school to me.." he whispered, sending chills down my spine, and bubbles in my stomach. I nodded. "O-Okay.." I whispered. He smiled "Wondeful,

 Let's get you home, John.." he said softly, pushing me through those big doors again. It seemed as though I'd  only entered them a few moments ago, but it was merely 10 minutes ago, maybe 15. 

  The feeling in my stomach never went away..