I walked into the dream feeling numb. With nowhere else to go, I found myself in the only place I had ever felt safe since waking up. And like always, he was there waiting.

He must know that I had done it because he did not move. His eyes stayed on me as I took the seat across from him.

"I don't want to talk about it," I murmured, watching the fire dance in front of us.

He sat in silence for a while, as if he, too, was paying respects to my familiar. "Did Katz figure the way out?"

I nodded slowly. "We're all resting for the journey tomorrow." I turned and caught his gaze. "Wish me luck."

He scoffed. "You don't believe in luck."

The corner of my mouth twitched. "I don't."

When I realized his gaze could hold mine longer than I could, I blinked and my eyes landed on the corner where another shadow crept in. His eyes followed mine, and in a blink, the shadow disappeared.

"What is that?" I asked, looking into his eyes.

Honestly, I thought he'd lie like he always did. The struggle to give me the answer was there in the dark depths of his gaze. "They're the reason you left." He took a deep breath. "One of the reasons."

"What are they?"

His shoulder lifted in a small shrug. "You called them 'pests'."

"And what do they do?"

"What pests do." He looked around the room. "They're trying hard to eating the dream alive." When his gaze returned to me, he allowed a small smile. "The dream's crumbling."

"But you can control them. I've seen you do it."

"Only because it's my expertise." He sighed. "But they're not entirely made of shadows," he explained. "Shadows always follow my behest, but these try their hardest to resist my command, especially when you're around."

I frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Ever since they started showing up, you've always felt like they're after you. We tried to find out more, but it was getting more difficult by the decades. I was the only one who could control them, and I couldn't be here all the time..." His voice faltered as his eyes retreated to a memory only he could remember. "You almost died one time. I got here just a few seconds before they completely drowned the damned dream in darkness."

I nodded, taking in the information he was willing to give, not asking for the ones I knew he would never. Like why he never told me he was trapped. Or why he never told me that this dream... this place that we had shared for centuries, was slowly coming to an end.

Closing my eyes, I let the cackle of firewood lull me to a state between sleep and peace.

"Do you need to feed?"

"Stop asking me that question," I murmured. "I'll demand for blood when I need it." Even with eyes closed, I knew he was smiling. "I need quiet."

And we shared the silence for a while.

***

Katz was already waiting for me when I awoke. I blinked a few times, adjusting to the light.

Now that the curse was broken, morning light saturated the forest. The air was fresh, the leaves moist with dew.

The fire had died, but Alistair was gathering more firewood for breakfast.

"Don't you find it weird that he entered the border with us?" Katz whispered when Alistair disappeared into the woods.

"What do you mean?"

He looked over his shoulder and leaned closer. "This wasn't part of Evensen's plan. Alistair was supposed to stay behind."

My eyes landed on Nalani. She was walking around near where my apostles were huddled together. Not too close, not too far, either. Her face seemed eager to start a conversation, but Akira's scowl was stopping her. "He's here because of the Ember."

"I don't know..." Katz murmured, sitting beside me. "It's just weird."

Not very keen to continue the subject, my eyes jumped to Mertha. "She doesn't look good."

His jaw tightened. "This is not the first time. She can fix this."

"This happened before?"

He nodded. "Once."

I waited for him to tell me more, but he didn't. Instead, he sighed, eyes directed toward the path Alistair took. "I'm not sure what's waiting for us on the other side of the border. We have to be ready."

"You think Alistair will cause us trouble."

"I don't know, but between the two of us, he has more connections there. He's been around for centuries, after all."

I slowly nodded. "Then I suggest you make plans with Mertha." Lowering my voice, I added, "She'll try to convince you to return. Or had she already done that?"

"She tried," he admitted. "But unlike her, I have nothing left for me in the society."

"Are you certain?"

He nodded. "Don't worry about her. I'll take care of it."

***

Everyone barely spoke as Katz led us east.

Tiff would break the silence now and then with questions like, "Are we there yet?" or "Does anyone have an idea what life outside is like for blacks?"

Most murmured one-word answers, but Nalani, out of the goodness of her heart, and because she couldn't help herself, answered the questions in such a way that only confused the girl. "As someone who dangerously lights up, I think I'll have more problem than you."

Akira never said a word, as he often did. He ignored Nalani the entire journey. In fact, he stayed away from her the entire time.

I spoke only to Katz, making sure we were on the right track, that there were no more traps on the border. I took him back to his dream one more time so he could review the map.

Halfway through the first day, however, we were forced to stop and set up camp when Mertha stopped, moaning in pain. Sweat drenched her hairline as she struggled to keep it together.

"She needs to rest," said Katz.

Alistair sighed, but he moved to start the fire.

Nalani took my hand and led me away, her touch warm and comforting. "Do you know any concoction that might ease her pain?"

"Yes, but it will also make her sleepy. She can't fall asleep for too long."

Her jaw tightened and her eyes welled with tears. This girl had too much compassion for her own good, I thought. She let go of my hand and returned to Mertha. And in a very gentle voice, she said, "I can help. If you'll let me."

"Nalani," Alistair's stern voice warned.

But his sister ignored him. She took Mertha's hand in hers and closed her eyes.

And she glowed. My apostles gasped, eyes wide. Even Katz, who had seen what Nalani could do, looked astonished. Mertha gasped and jumped away from Nalani's touch, scrambling back in confusion and anger. Her gaze silently told Nalani that she shouldn't have dared touch her.

"What did you do?" Mertha demanded.

"Nothing bad," Nalani replied, confused by Mertha's reaction.

I looked around and sighed. "We have to move again soon. This should be our last stop." I caught Mertha's gaze and added, "You have to save your strength or we're leaving you behind."

Later that night, I went to the dream, but Evensen wasn't there.

"Evensen?" I called out with a frown. He should be here.

I patiently waited by the fire, but as the minutes stretched on, I jumped to my feet and paced.

Where could he be?

Was he in trouble?

Was he coming at all?

Did he forget?

Then I saw the shadow again. It slithered slowly and toward me. With a frown, I stepped to the side. It followed, changing direction as I did. All the while, I realized it was also spreading backward—up the walls and all over the ceiling. It moved in sync with my racing heartbeats. I jumped back, and it moved faster.

Left without a choice, I ran to the door and escaped the dream, jerking awake.

"What's wrong?" Alistair's voice asked.

Sweat ran down the side of my face. I wiped it off with a shaky hand. "Nothing."

"I don't really want to impose, but we should move faster."

"Why the hurry to reach the other side?"

He scoffed. The others were sleeping, scattered around the fire. His face turned serious. "You, Nalani, and I can just go."

"You mean leave the rest behind?"

"They'll survive."

"We don't know the way."

"Katz told me the way."

I frowned at him. "You're a bastard."

"From what I heard, you were worse."

"Only toward vampires."

He grinned. "Too bad you are one now."

I shook my head. "We're not leaving anyone behind."

He jumped to his feet and glared down at me. "If anything goes wrong because of them, there's no one to blame but you."

"I brought my apostles here. You carried Mertha here. And now you're suggesting we leave them? You're bloody mad."

"Have it your way then, witch."

I turned away as he walked off. My eyes roamed around our small camp, jumping from one sleeping human to the next, finally settling on Nalani. Her innocent face was mellow as she slept in a peaceful slumber, her light radiating her pure heart.

Closing my eyes, I wondered if I was going crazy. Sacrificing Bellatrix for these people? The person I was before the fire wouldn't have done this. She would have fought nail and tooth for her familiar.

But now, I didn't do just that. I was going to do something very crazy again. Something that went against everything I believed in before any of this.

My eyes opened, and I took a lungful of air, lifting my chin and squaring my shoulders.

Then I got up and followed Alistair.

***

I shook Katz awake. "We have to go," I whispered.

He blinked in confusion, eyes heavy. "What?"

"We need to go. Gather everyone. We have to move along." I didn't wait for his question. I rushed to Nalani's side and woke her up. Tiff and Akira were next.

"What's going on?" Katz demanded as I pulled Mertha to her feet.

"We're being followed," I lied.

He looked around in alarm as I rushed to kill the fire. "Where's Alistair?"

"He's looking for them. He said he'll catch up," I lied again.

Nalani shook her head. "No. If he gets lost—"

"He's a bloody vampire. He'd be able to track our scent from miles away." Urging Tiff and Akira to move along, I asked Mertha, "Can you walk?"

She stiffly nodded, eyes flickering around us. Almost hopeful.

"They wouldn't come after us," Katz hissed at me. "They wouldn't dare enter the border."

"You really think that?" I asked. "With all the lies they feed their people, do you really think they don't have a way around the borders?"

His jaw tightened. "Fine." His hand wrapped around Mertha's arm. "Follow me."

We walked for hours. We didn't stop even for food. Katz led the way, and I made sure no one was falling behind. I warded off questions about Alistair as much as I could, but Katz eventually caught on.

The day was ending by then, and everyone was clearly exhausted. "Why are we stopping?" I asked him.

"We're all tired," Tiff complained, body bent over her knees.

Even Akira finally broke his silence. "We need rest."

"We're almost there," Katz told me, guiding Mertha to the nearest tree where she fell, leaning against the trunk, white as snow.

"Then all the more reason to continue."

"Where's Alistair?" Katz demanded instead. "He should be here by now."

My eyes flickered away from his gaze. "How would I know? He said he'd be here. Maybe he got into trouble."

"That can't be," Nalani said, growing restless. "We should go back for him."

I feigned reluctance, looking back at the path behind us. "How far away are we, exactly?" I asked Katz.

His eyes went to Mertha. They shared a look before he faced me again, saying, "Half a mile."

"And we'll enter right into what city?"

He blinked at me in confusion.

I stepped closer to him, hand pushing Tiff and Akira back as I asked, "We'll step back into Exodus, am I right?"

He stiffened. "What do you mean?"

"You've been leading us back to the entrance all this time," I said.

I expected him to make a move, but he didn't. He was calm, silently calculating his next move. Without moving, he called out, "Mertha."

My eyes jumped to Mertha. "What did she promise you, Katz?"

He stepped back. I followed. "I'm a man of trade, Aster. I always take the best offer on the table."

"Did she promise you absolution? Is that it?" I stole Mertha another glance. "As an Astral, I'm sure she can do that."

"Absolution and more," he said, shrugging one shoulder. He looked at Tiff and Akira. "They can come with us, too. You don't have to. If you just let us go..."

"You should have given me that offer before you tricked us, you bloody bastard." When his eyes went to Nalani, I scoffed. "Indeed, a man of trade. You'll offer them the Ember."

"You don't know what's out there, Aster. You have no idea," he said, pointing with his finger. "For all we know, she'll be hunted on the other side as well." He took another step back. "Mertha."

I smiled as panic grew on his face. "Is something supposed to happen when you call for her?" I taunted. "Is she supposed to throw me into the Fog?"

He frowned and stumbled backward.

"To answer your question—Yes, you're really here. The forest is real and you're awake." I stopped, scrunched my nose and added, "Well, sort of." I took one careful step toward him, and as I did so, Mertha and Nalani faded.

"What in the fuck is happening?" he ground out, eyes quivering in anger and alarm.

I smiled. "You're daydreaming."