I opened my eyes and found Akira, Lexie, and Tiff standing at the foot of the bed, waiting. And when they saw I was awake, it was like someone dropped a giant wall in front of them. Their face changed entirely. The frown on Akira's face disappeared; the curious furrow of Tiff's brow straightened; and the disappointed curl in Lexie's mouth hardened.

I wished I didn't have to deal with them again, but there I was, in one room with probably the only three innocent people I should have just left alone. They were too young for this, I thought, as I tried to move but couldn't. I was strong enough. Evensen's blood was a strong fluid army against the drug Akiko fed through my veins.

Lexie was the first to speak. "You betrayed us." She looked at me like she didn't know me.

I swallowed and realized I could speak now. The venom had worn off. "You made it so easy," I croaked.

"You have to hand over Cedric Corey," Tiff said, almost pleadingly. "If you don't, they'll punish you gravely."

My eyes went to Akira. "Did they ask you to come here and talk me into releasing him?" I smiled mildly. "Did they think I care enough about you to do what you ask? I don't." Pain crossed Lexie's eyes, while Tiff struggled with unshed tears. "The only reason I kept you around was because you were useful."

I looked away as I talked. I wanted them to leave and hate me. There was no point in trying to ease their pain and disappointment. There was no salvation for my betrayal.

"How long have you been working behind our backs?" Tiff asked with one tear rolling down her cheek.

Looking at my strapped wrists, I murmured, "From the very beginning." I was never good at sensitive confrontations such as this. I'd prefer something murderous. To keep them from asking more questions about our broken friendship, I stared at Akira once again. "Was it because of you that your sister did a secret study on me?"

He moved for the first time. "The only contact I had with her was when we visited Windsor." He looked at me for a long time, the silence telling me he had so much to say. "Apostles sacrifice everything for their Astral. It's part of the job."

When I moved my head, they immediately stepped closer, stance alert and ready for action. "You're too weak to use your magic, so don't even try," Akira told me.

I sighed, slowly blinking, pretending to be powerless. "Relax, Akira, I will not waste my strength putting three children to sleep."

Tiff's lips trembled with tears. "Have you never cared for us at all?"

"Stop with the stupid questions, Tiff," Akira snapped, eyes hard on me. "All she cares about is helping her vampire friends."

"And what do you care about, Akira?" I asked. "Serving the people who kill innocents?"

"The Saints don't kill innocents."

"And what do you call the Omen that they're keeping somewhere on this train? And speaking of Omens, have you found out what they are?" I asked them.

"We know enough."

"You know what they told you." I paused, pretending to breathe slow. "They're one of two beings that make up a star." Tiff stiffened at my last word. "Yes, they're real."

"We don't have to listen to you," Akira said. "Give us Corey."

"But do you know what makes them valuable?" I continued, not hearing him. "Stardusts. But the great witches of the Saint Society have never figured out how to harvest stardusts without killing Omens. I'm sorry. I meant Omen. Just one. They never found another in the Saint Society." My eyes remained on Akira. "She's been captured before. The people who took her experimented on her in many ways a child shouldn't ever experience." I looked at Tiff and Lexie. "They cut off her fingers, her hair... anything they could that would not be too fatal." My gaze jumped back to Akira. "But it was fine. After all, as what the Katamas found out, Omens apparently heal quite fast."

Finally, Akira's eyes registered shock. He froze from where he stood.

I let out a sigh. "What they didn't realize, however, was that Nalani has a brother who became a vampire for the sole purpose of protecting her." I watched the emotions play in Akira's eyes. "And he did what he had to that day on the train to get his sister back." Tiff and Lexie looked at each other, then at Akira, who remained unmoving. "Just like what your sister would do to protect you. And I assume what you would also do for her."

At the mention of his sister, Akira snapped. His lips pursed and his eyes narrowed. "You're all bullshit."

"You can always find out. Ask your sister what her team plans to do to the Omen." A faint smile curled my lips. "It's always been believed that stardusts can grant immortality. Isn't that what the Saints have been trying to achieve all this time? That's why they kept me close, wasn't it? Gave me what I wanted. Made me an Astral. Just so I could share the secret to my immortality." Tiff swallowed. Lexie blinked, brows slowly dipping. I sighed. "But you all know how I survived through these years. I have nothing special, after all. Unlike the Omen." They remained quiet. "After all the experiments done on the Omen, there's one thing they had not yet tried. The one definite way to get an Omen's dust. You're all smart. You know what I mean."

Before they could answer, the doors opened and Mertha's three apostles stiffly walked in. Vivec looked at my apostles with one brow arched in question. Akira shook his head and Vivec let out a soft scoff. "As expected. You're dismissed."

Lexie pulled Tiff away when the former took a step toward Vivec. Akira's gaze lingered on me for a few seconds before he sharply turned and followed the two girls out of the room. Vivec approached the bag of clear fluid hanging at the head of the bed. With his eyes on me, he adjusted the drops, letting them run faster. "We'll be watching over you tonight."

I closed my eyes and sighed. "How's your Astral?"

"She's doing very well."

"I'm asking about her fractured realm," I corrected, opening my eyes just in time to see the fretful look echoing between them.

This time, it was Azziz who spoke. "Shut up, feral."

I never thought the time would come that I would feel strongly insulted. So much that I wanted to wring a young man's neck after I sucked the last dreg of his blood. But there was a plan I had to follow. Instead of doing something I'd regret, I closed my eyes. The clock on the wall showed it was an hour before midnight.

I listened to the quiet breathing of Mertha's apostles, blocked off the train's noisy engines, and focused on the very faint sound of the digital clock. With that, I focused on the sounds beyond the door. Conversations bombarded my ears, giving me a momentary pause until I segregated the familiar footsteps and voices. Right outside my door to the right was Brenna's cabin. She shared it with Akiko. Across was Spinett's. Five more cabins filled with witches I wasn't familiar with. Bishops? Might be. The dining cabin was empty save for three others talking about the recent events. The next cabin held my trunk where two Bishops pondered about my repertory. One said they had to do more research before they'd attempt anything because it might cause them to lose Corey's life.

Next to them was the cabin where Katz was held. And the most guarded of all, with five other breathing witches inside, was Nalani's cabin. By the echo of her incessant talking, I knew she was inside a compartment. Metal? Maybe. After all, once the halo's spell activated, she'd be the only one awake.

Near the end was the shared cabin of my three apostles. Tiff was still crying, her black cat comforting her. Lexie sang a melodic song to her owl. Akira was silent, his breathing even but deep.

I retracted my hearing, retracing my path, then stopped when I heard a Bishop in Nalani's cabin say, "Bishops of higher rank have privileges, pet."

"What kind?" Nalani's innocent voice asked.

"If the need arises, the Council can grant us a sleepless night."

***

Evensen was already waiting by the fire. I rushed to him, slight panic boiling in the pit of my stomach. "They won't sleep!" I hissed.

"What do you mean?"

"The Bishops on the train!"

He didn't answer.

I frowned at him. "You know about this."

"Yes. Ferals have spotted them all throughout. Even if I didn't know, it's not surprising. It's impossible to maintain the safety of the society if all its soldiers sleep. And not all clean-ups are meant to be seen."

"Then you must have made plans around the fact."

"Not all of them will be awake. The most is just half of them will have to sleep. They would not be as efficient during the day if all of them stayed up all night."

"Will Alistair have enough men to deal with at least half of these witches?"

"He'll have enough, but they won't be able to hold out long for the well-rested other half." He motioned to the chair across from him. "Have you done your part?"

I nodded as I sat and gave him a mental map of the train. I told him where Nalani and Katz were, shared how they were bound. When I was done, he nodded. "I'll have to leave early to report everything to Alistair." A brief pause, his eyes lingering. "Do you need to feed?"

My eyes went to his neck. He got up and worked on his top two buttons when I swallowed. As if in a trance, I came to my feet and met him halfway. My hands willingly rested on his shoulders as he bent, neck open for my mouth. Stepping closer, I closed my eyes and reveled in the warmth of his blood. The effect was stronger than my crux. The pull of his hands on my waist offered more comfort.

I didn't want to leave. Didn't want it to end. But when I felt his hands squeeze my waist, I stopped, lips still pressed on his skin. I pulled away an inch, my mouth a hairsbreadth away, hesitating. When he started to pull away, I tightened my hands on his shoulders and ran the tip of my tongue over the wounds. I felt him stiffen, but only for a moment.

"Good," he said, pulling away. "You're learning your stuff." He gave me a small, reassuring smile. "Remember the plan."

I swallowed, ran my tongue over my lips where I could still taste his blood. "Run and never look back."

His gaze held mine for a few seconds. Nodding, he murmured, "Good."

"Evensen," I called, as he turned.

He stopped and just paused for a moment with his back to me. When he faced me, his face was unreadable. "Yes?"

"Have you told me everything?" I asked, holding my breath. "Everything I have to know about us? About the plans we made?"

There was no hesitation in his movement and words. He nodded. "I told you everything you need to know."

But not everything I want to know, the voice in my head whispered. "Good," I said, taking a sit. "You've got to leave before the spell."

Silence followed his departure, but my mind was restless. I felt like something was holding me back. Not the uncertainty of the world beyond the borders. No, not that. It was something else. An innate feeling I couldn't name.

With some time to spare, I walked to my repertory and took out my journal. I didn't want to waste my time reading entries I would never remember. If there was anything I wanted to leave for my future self, I'd write it in the end. A goodbye, a warning—anything.

The last two pages were stuck together. Slowly, I peeled them apart.

My heart started pounding.

The message was brief, but it was clearly written for me. The one who couldn't remember.

It's unlikely you'll find this because there's no guarantee you'll land back in this dream. But if you did, and you found this journal, then pay attention, Aster Byrne.

You were me, and I was you. You've forgotten the years you spent in this dream because of the black door that never changed.

Harald Evensen will do anything to make you leave. Believe me, he'll do whatever it takes.

It will be your choice in the end. Taking the Omen out of the society will help with our plans. But there's no guarantee what awaits you outside.

However, if you're having doubts, listen to me very carefully.

There is one thing I'm certain of and that's my love for Harald Evensen. He is everything to me now. And I'm quite certain he feels the same. The years I spent here with him would be erased soon. I only hope this journal survives this dream far longer than I did fighting the shadows with him.

I won't be the one to tell you what to do. You wouldn't want that. After all, we are now two different women. I've lived two-hundred years in a dream, while you're still nineteen and utterly lost in a new world. But there is one thing that we share to this day: our bloody instincts. Trust nothing but that, darling. Don't trust Harald. He's selfless. He'll lie to you if it means keeping you alive. He'll sacrifice even the last drop of his blood if it means you get to live.

You will never understand my story even if you read this journal a hundred times. It's a life I lived, not yours.

Yours is still waiting.

Goodbye now. This feels like death, you know. To know I'm leaving behind the one person I could have spent an eternity with for the unknown is excruciating and scary. I never thought I'd ever say this, but I don't regret being trapped in this hell, because, by the fire where two chairs stand, is a piece of a very, very wonderful dream.

I closed the book and stared at the fire. Then at Evensen's empty chair. It was the last I remembered before the halo's spell activated.