Lucia hoisted her bagpack onto her shoulder, and just got out of rehab for the 3rd time and was heading home to Seattle. She had moved away to become a doctor after the second time she was in rehab but the hospital she worked at fired her, she wasn't high or using when she was on shift but she did go off the rails, she didn't realise her drugs were in her bag and they fell out, she did a drug test to prove she wasn't using on shift but they fired her. She had been admitted  into a mental health hospital too, that was after her rehab stay, she discharged herself and immediately got on a coach to Seattle, didn't need to be there; did she?

Lucia stepped off the coach at the bus station, she grabbed her suitcase which had been shoved in with the other passengers luggage. Once she had her things she made her way towards the restroom, she had been sat on the same bus for the last 24 hour, actually it was a lot longer since the coach had broke down. It was late, a small yawn escaped her lips as she entered the bathrooms, she didn't know what she was going to do now. She hadn't planned where she was staying.

"Maybe I should go to station 19, maybe Andy is working today" Lucia mumbled to herself as she locked herself in the bathroom and did what she had to do. She knew her dad would be there too and she knew she was the disappointment, compared to Andy Lucia was the mistake, Pruitt never actually said it in that many words but she could tell. She knew she wasn't planned and that lead to all her struggles. The young adult splashed some water onto her face after washing her hands. She then checked the map app on her phone, she wanted, station 19 was a 20 minute walk from the bus station and Lucia knew it was stupid to walk their but she didn't have any money for a cab.

Being in Seattle was different than what it was when she was last there. She felt different, she was jobless and had nowhere to stay, she wasn't going to hold her breath and hope her father would let her stay, of course she loved him, she always would; he was her father after all. Lucia slipped her phone into her back pocket, unlocked the toilet door and left to make her way to the fire station.

The closer Lucia got to station 19 her heart began to race, she was panicking about possibly reuniting with her older sister and her father; mentally she was trying to think of somewhere to stay. Before she knew it Lucia was stood outside the station she grew up around, she couldn't move, it was like she had froze, memories playing in her mind of her childhood, her mom, her sister; everything played in her mind.

After a few moments Lucia took a deep breath placed her hand on her suitcase handle and made her way towards the double doors which she pulled open with her free hand and made her way inside. By the desk a blonde woman sat on the phone. This place was kind of a bad place for her, it was where she first overdosed at 14 years old, where she almost died from that overdose. As Lucia made her way through the second set of doors she glanced around, her heart seemed to be racing inside her. She knew she was safe but the memories of her stupidity and addiction tried to take over her, she was 4 months 4 days clean now but now she had entered the fire house the urge had came back to her stronger than before. The blonde woman looked up as she finished on the phone and the two woman locked eyes for a brief moment.

"Can I help you?" The blonde firefighter asked Lucia, she recognised Lucia from photos Andy had.

"I'm looking for my sister Andrea." Lucia said pinching herself to stop herself from drifting to the dark place in her mind.

"Come with me, she's in the beanery" The blonde woman told Lucia who nodded.

"I'm Maya Bishop by the way" the blonde woman introduced herself to the younger woman.

"Luci" Lucia answered, she often went by luci rather than Lucia. She pushed her long handle down and carried her suitcase up the stairs as she followed Maya upstairs. Maya hoped Andy was still in the beanery but knew she could be anywhere. They went through some doors and Andy had immediately saw Lucia walking behind Maya. The older sister almost practically ran over to the younger sister and wrapped her arms around her.

"Lucia! What are you doing here, where have you been" Andy said, Lucia closed her eyes as she wrapped her own arms around her older sister, she dreamt about this for years, she missed her sister but her dad had told her that it would be best to keep her distance, let her sister focus on her job, that was when she got out of rehab the second time.

Pulling away Lucia looked around the room, she closed her eyes tightly and took a few deep breaths to try and keep herself calm. She had to keep herself calm and grounded so she didn't go into the dark spiral and end up using again.

"I've been in Arizona and I'm here because I wanted to see you, I want to make things up with you" Lucia said softly. She looked everywhere but her sister, especially the spot she was found unconscious in at 14 after she overdosed.

"Luci, why don't we go somewhere else and talk" Andy asked Lucia who then looked back to her sister.

"Where's dad?" Lucia changed the subject, she didn't know anything about her dad having cancer, she didn't know he was home rather than in the same building.

"He's not here Lucia. Now don't change the subject" Andy warned the younger sibling.

"Sorry" Lucia mumbled and Andy took her downstairs and into her office which she was currently co-sharing since she was co-captain.

"Where have you been Luci." Andy asked and Lucia looked down.

"You know after I overdosed in high school? When I went to rehab. I got out and left. I told dad I was getting out, I had graduated high school while in rehab and took myself off to med school. I was in Arizona since then but I had to get away and that's a long story why." Lucia said he both a tear rolling down her cheek.

"It wasn't my choice to not have contact with you. Andy your my older sister and when I told dad I was out of rehab, when I told him I was sorry he told me that it was best for you that I didn't contact you. I just left. I didn't want to screw your life up like I had done to mine. I'm sorry Andy" Lucia said sniffling slightly as she tried not to cry.

"Why did you listen to dad. You didn't have to move away, I could have helped you" Andy spoke.

"I don't know. Maybe I thought he was right, I'd probably have just brought you down. But I want to make things up, I want to be able to be in your life again and I understand if you don't want me in your life and if that's the case then I'll just leave now and I won't contact you again, I just want you to know that i am sorry, like really sorry." Lucia said fiddling with her hands.

"Of course I want you in my life" Andy spoke sitting down in her chair

"Now where are you staying" Andy then said just as the klaxon went off indicating that there was a fire and they were needed.

"Stay here. You can go up to the lounge but don't leave until I get back." Andy said and Lucia nodded.

Lucia took herself up to the lounge, tears in her eyes as she thought about what made her leave Arizona. The memories of six months ago replayed in her mind. She didn't want to think of it because she knew it would lead to her wanting to use again or it would lead to her attempting to commit suicide again. She pulled her knees into her chest as she rested her head against the back of the sofa she was sat on. Her eyes began to get heavy and eventually she fell asleep.

"How come we never got to meet Lucia until now? Didn't you want her to meet us?" Jack teased as the team got back from their call, it had just fine midnight and Lucia had been asleep for a few hours at this point but as she heard voices she woke up, she wasn't expecting a deep sleeper.

"She left after high school, I don't know everything but she said our dad said it would be best for me if she didn't have contact. I will always love her and I want her in my life." Andy said, she didn't know if she should mention her addiction so she decided not to. Lucia wasn't ashamed of her addiction so she would be fine with her older sister. Lucia opened her eyes and immediately regretted it as she saw her sister stood outside the door to the lounge, she thought Lucia would have left.

"You stayed" Andy said realising her sister was now awake.

"I said I would. I'm sorry I fell asleep. I guess the journey just took it out of me" Lucia said biting her lip. Andy went over to the sofa and sat down beside her sister.

"So do you have anywhere to stay?" Andy asked Lucia again and she looked down.

"Kinda didn't get that far. I actually shouldn't even be here right now" Lucia chuckled slightly trying to make out she was fine when truthfully she wasn't.

"What do you mean you shouldn't be here" Andy asked. She was starting to worry about the younger brunette. Lucia looked down, she didn't really want to talk about what happened her plus she was tired.

"Can we talk about that tomorrow. I really should find somewhere to stay." Andy looked over to her best friend who had just walked past the door towards the beanery, she saw the two sisters talking and heard Lucia say she needs to find somewhere to stay

"Give me a minute. I could sort something out for you" Andy said to Lucia who gave her a confused look. Lucia watched as Andy left the lounge and stood outside the door

"Maya, I know it's probably a lot to ask but could Luci come stay with us for a while. I don't know what's gone or going on with her yet but I can't just leave her to suffer alone" Lucia heard her sister talking to the blonde firefighter. Both Andy and Maya knew there wasn't a spare room but anything is better than being out on the street.

"Of course she can Andy, she's your sister, I wouldn't see her out on the street. She can stay as long as she needs" Maya said with a small smile towards her friend.

"Thank you" Andy spoke. Lucia heard the blonde firefighter agree to let her stay and that was enough, she knew she'd have to do do something to thank both her sister and Maya.

"So I spoke to Maya and we don't have a spare room but we have a sofa or I don't mind sharing my bed with you, like we used to when you had nightmares or when you were struggling" Andy said sitting beside her sister again.

"Thank you" Lucia said, she didn't know what else to say.

"I promise I'll tell you everything tomorrow, somewhere... some time when we're alone. I'm not ashamed of my addiction, I don't mind anyone knowing I'm an addict, recovering addict but everything else. I don't think I'm ready to discuss that right now" Lucia admitted biting her lip.

"It's fine Luci, we can talk about whatever is going on whenever your ready but I do need to know one thing" Andy admitted

"Anything" Lucia answered, her voice shaking slightly as she answered, she was a little scared of what the question would be.

"You're not in trouble with the police are you?" Andy asked, Lucia didn't quite know how to answer that question.

"Not exactly but they may be looking for me but I'm not in trouble with them. I promise Andy. I promise I'm not in trouble with the police" Lucia spoke anxiously, it was the truth after all.

"That's all I need to know Luci" Andy answered her sister.

"Get some rest. You look tired" Andy pointed out to her sister who nodded. She was tired but she hadn't been sleeping for more than two hours a night, she had the nightmares and flashbacks to thank for that.

"Before I get some rest could you possibly point me in the direction of the toilets. I can't exactly remember where they are" Lucia laughed lightly, she kind of shut things about the firehouse out.

Lucia shot awake after a hour and a half of being asleep. Her heart raced as she recognised the thoughts in her head. Dark thoughts eating her alive. Digging through her bagpack which was sat on the floor beside the sofa Lucia searched for her 'kit', she brought everything on the way to the bus station after she discharged herself from the psychiatric hospital which she knew she needed to be in but she couldn't stay their, she couldn't be admitted again. She just couldn't but she also couldn't think of anything other than what lead to her relapse and what lead her to trying to end her own life while in rehab which resulted in her being sectioned under the mental health act.

When she was sectioned the hospital threw out everything in her 'kit' she had used it to harm herself many times in the past. Rolling up her sleeve Lucia ran a her hand over her scarred arm, fresh and healed cuts. She knew she shouldn't but the urge was too strong. she know or she hoped that everyone was asleep as their hadn't been another call since they got back.

"Just one cut" Lucia mumbled to herself, she knew it was never just one cut, never just one anything and Lucia knew that deep down yet she had to have a release. Pulling out her blade Lucia brought it to her arm and dragged it across, she t it a release, like a a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. One cut lead to two and two lead to three.

"Lucia" Maya said looking concerned about the brunette who was sat awake at 3:30am cutting herself.

"Shit" Lucia thought as she saw the blond standing in the doorway. Lucia bite down hard on her lip, she was in a little fuzzy moment. Where she's partly here but she's not, she didn't know how to explain it.

"Alright they need cleaning. Can you let me do that?" Maya asked calmly, she could see that Lucia was struggling and thought it was the thing she didn't want to talk to Andy about while she was on shift. Lucia nodded not saying anything, she couldn't exactly find her voice. Maya quickly went off to grab the first aid kit.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid" Lucia mumbled to herself as she look down to her hands, she was still holding the blade and her kit was on her lap so she quickly threw it into her bag, she couldn't have Maya take it, she needed it.

"Is this what you wouldn't talk to Andy about while you're here?" Maya asked returning with the first-aid kit.

"I thought everyone was asleep" Lucia said avoiding the question that Maya had asked.

"It's okay if the struggling, you don't have to go through it alone" Maya the said however Lucia didn't want to hear it. She wanted to disappear, she didn't want to become a burden on her sister but she still wanted to be in her older sisters life.

"Why do you care? You've only just met me" Lucia spoke stubbornly as she tried to push the blonde away, she did that when people were trying to get to close and if they were trying to help her.

"I care because your Andy's sister. She loves you so much and even though you haven't been in her life for however many years you've been gone, she hasn't stopped worrying about you." Maya spoke softly

"I'm not ready to talk about anything. Not to anyone apart from my sister" Lucia mumbled truthfully. Maya gently took the razor blade out of Lucia's hand, she knew that it was possible that she had more blades but she still took the one that the brunette had in her hand.

"Thank you for letting me sleep on your couch, I know you haven't yet but Andy said you said it was okay so I wanted to thank you" Lucia spoke softly to the blonde in front of her. Maya was assessing Lucia's cuts making sure her old ones weren't infected and cleaning the newer ones

"It's not like I'd leave you out on the streets now is it." Maya smiled towards Lucia, the smile sent the brunette into a slight daze, she couldn't put her finger on what it was but their was something about Maya that made Lucia feel calm and for the first time in over a month, safe.

"Well thank you anyway" Lucia shrugged. Maya had soon cleaned the brunettes arms and was now bandaging them. Lucia couldn't bring herself to look up towards the blonde firefighter who was soon standing up after she had finished tending to her arms.

"I know you said you didn't want to talk to anyone other than your sister about whatever is going on but I just want to let you know that if you ever need anything. You can talk to me" Maya offered.

"Thanks" Lucia answered unsure what else to say.

As the morning approached and the sun was rising over the horizon Lucia stood by the windows in the beanery, she had been there for a good ten minutes. The team were out on a call and Andy told her that once they get back and finish their shift that the two sisters would go and get breakfast. Lucia hadn't had much of an appetite lately but she agreed anyway, maybe they would have pancakes wherever they go and Lucia always enjoyed pancakes.

"Dios, concédeme la serenidad para aceptar las cosas que no puedo cambiar, el coraje para cambiar las cosas que puedo y la sabiduría para reconocer la diferencia" Lucia repeated over and over the prayer that she knew all too well, the same prayer they say at the start of every single Narcotics anonymous meetings. Lucia often did this as she tried to think is something other than scoring drugs and getting high but right now it was hard and no matter how many times she had repeated it she still couldn't think of anything else, drugs, the assault, drugs, the assault, both constantly replaying in her mind. She always tried saying the prayer in both English and Spanish especially if she was trying to stop herself from thinking of getting high..

This time however Lucia couldn't focus on anything else. She didn't know where to go to score some drugs and deep down she didn't want to get high. Maya was on the reception for the shift which was almost over and she decided to go check on Lucia, Andy asked Maya to after finding out about what Lucia was doing during the early hours of the morning.

"Dios, concédeme la serenidad para aceptar las cosas que no puedo cambiar, el coraje para cambiar las cosas que puedo y la sabiduría para reconocer la diferencia" Lucia repeated again which confused Maya, she didn't know what the brunette was saying, she hadn't learnt a lot of Spanish, maybe the odd word but she definitely knew it was Spanish.

"Lucia?" Maya spoke but Lucia was in her own head, a place where she should never go especially if she was struggling. It was clear that the woman was having some sort of mental breakdown or something like that but Maya didn't know what was going on in the brunettes head but she wanted to help.

"Lucia, can you look at me? Just let me know that you can hear me?" Maya spoke calmly, she walked over to Lucia.

"Lucia can you answer me, just so I know you're okay" Maya said gently placing a hand on Lucia's shoulder. Suddenly Lucia spun around pushing Maya away causing her to tumble backwards hitting her head on the back of a chair as she fell, this pulled Lucia out of her daze. As Maya fell backwards the team entered the beanery. Lucia was freaking out over what just happened, she hadn't meant to hurt the blonde

"I'm sorry." Lucia paused for a second as she brought her hands to her head and turned back towards the windows.

"Dios, concédeme la serenidad para aceptar las cosas que no puedo cambiar, el coraje para cambiar las cosas que puedo y la sabiduría para reconocer la diferencia" Lucia repeated

"What's she saying" Maya asked as she got up from the floor after the shock had worn off. She could tell that Lucia didn't mean to harm her and she was clearly distressed.

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference" Andy translated as she paused.

"It's the prayer they say at the start of NA meetings. I remember taking her to one when she was 14. She used to repeat it if she was thinking of getting high or she wanted to keep herself from getting High" Andy explained as she carefully walked over to where her sister was stood.

"How long has she been like this?" Andy asked Maya who wasn't too sure.

"I'm not sure. I came to check on her about fifteen minutes ago and she was stood right where she is now, she was repeating the prayers I was worried" Maya explained.

"She's clearly distressed, don't blame her for pushing me" Maya then defended Lucia, she didn't want anyone to think Lucia meant to hurt her, Maya may not know the woman to well but she did know that she wouldn't intentionally hurt anyone.

"I need to be there for her right now but I don't even know what's going on with her" Andy said worried about her sister. Lucia soon found herself on the floor. Andy, Maya and Jack decided to leave Lucia for a few moment's, just to talk. The rest of the team thought best to leave the beanery while Andy tried to help her sister.

"Why don't you go get changed and take Lucia back to the apartment, maybe she'd talk to you then?" Maya suggested to her best friend who

"I can't leave when our shift isn't over yet" Andy spoke to Jack and Maya who both had watched her interactions with her little sister.

"Andy, Luci needs you or she needs help. I'll cover for you for the last few hours of shift. Just be there for your sister" Jack spoke to Andy who glanced over to Lucia who was now sat on the floor by the windows with her knees brought into her chest.

"Are you sure?" It's not exactly professional. What would chief Ripley say if he found out I left in the middle of the shift when I'm co-captain" exclaimed Andy.

"He won't find out. Nobody will find out. Okay. Go and change and take Lucia home" Maya spoke. Andy looked between the two adults and eventually agreed to go and take her sister home and hope that she'd talk while they are alone.