Benny wasn't allowed into the school, but stuck around outside in case I needed him again. Of course, the bullies didn't dare to come near me again that day.

When school was out, Benny and I decided to walk out since it was a beautiful day to do just that (I considered days with millions of silver and white clouds beautiful). I noticed he didn't slouch with his hands in his pocket. He was a sailor! He walked like one! Arms at his sides, standing up tall, looking straight ahead of him. Marching like a soldier. And instead of a blank or dull expression on his face, he was grinning at the warm climate and soft breeze.

"I'm glad I didn't go on another voyage," he said, gazing at me. "Instead I get to stay here and enjoy this place longer. Hopefully our next voyage isn't for awhile. As beautiful as she is, I need a break from the sea."

I nodded and said, "I hope my father and the rest of the crew gets to stay longer when they return."
I just wished we could all live together and not be separated so much. And how I missed talking to Davy.

But then there was still Benny, who in front of the whole school had confessed that he loved me. I tried to convince myself that he had only said that to scare the bullies, but at the same time I wanted it to be true. In fact, I wanted to ask him right then and there what the truth was. I just had to ease it into the conversation.

"So what you said back there..." I had already made everything awkward. "You only said it to scare the bullies. To prove them wrong, right?"

"Well that's one reason," he said in his tough sailor's voice. He didn't look my way, but I could guess what the other reason was. I beamed and held my head high for the rest of the walk home...and Davy left my mind.

* * * *

It had been about a week since Dad and Isaac had left. It was Sunday afternoon and I was playing on the living room carpet with Johnson and Olivia. Olivia, I realized, was quite close to Oliver. I shook off the disturbing feeling.

The three of us were having a drawing contest. Who could come up with something from the sea and draw it well. We had to be creative though and not just draw a catfish. While we pondered what we were going to draw, Benny entered the room and plopped down on the couch, looking down at us. He gazed right at me and as soon as our eyes met, he jumped up and dove onto the ground next to me, startling and amusing me.

"Can I join the contest?" he asked, grabbing some paper and a pencil.

"Ya!" Livvy said, nodding excitedly.

"Alright, then," said Jackson. "You have to draw something from the sea. We all have ten minutes. Ready? Go!"

We all started scribbling away. We weren't allowed to peek at each other's drawings, so I wasn't really sure what to draw. I thought of the sea and all the strange, beautiful things in it. The waves, the salty air, the coral reefs, the rainbow-colored fish. But I wanted to draw something unique. Something that the others would think was clever. A seashell! A pretty one, with colors of all kind. What type of shell would it be, I wondered: A clam shell, a volute shell, a paper nautilus shell?

I decided to just sketch whatever came to mind and color and shade it in. Jackson was drawing vigorously, but Livvy seemed to be relaxed. Benny looked like he was concentrating hard with his furrowed eyebrow and glint in his glimmering eyes. Drawing quickly, but carefully.

Finally time was up. Jackson showed his picture of a shark, which I thought was very well-drawn. It looked scary, but fantastic as it glided through the dark blue water.

Livvy had drawn a mermaid sitting on a rock in the middle of the sea. Jackson argued that mermaids weren't real, but then Liv reminded him of the time when Dad said he had seen one. So we didn't disqualify her. The picture was quite beautiful and creative. The mermaid's hair was golden and decorated with roses, coral flowers and pearls. The tail was jade and sky blue and the sea water splashed against the marble-white rock she sat upon.

I showed them my picture, which was a white and gold volute shell with shades of jade, turquoise, azure, magenta and violet. It casted a long shadow on the sand it rested on.

"That's beautiful, Amber!" Benny explained, gazing at it. "Do you think...I could keep it?"

Surprised, but pleased, I answered, "Sure! Now show us your picture!"

And he revealed it. It was my father. He his white captain's hat and had a pipe in his mouth. It was perfect. Every detail of his face and the shading was all perfect and beautiful. We all applauded and announced Benny as the winner.

"Could I...please keep yours, Benny?" I asked him, gazing at him. "It's...so realistic. I really love my father and that picture you drew of him...is amazing."

He only grinned at me. "Yes, you may Amber," he whispered. Then he gently took my hand and placed his drawing in it without breaking eye contact with me. I wanted to kiss him. But I couldn't! I had Davy! Just because Davy was away didn't mean I could go and smooch other men behind his back!

Looking away from Benny, I stood up, a worried look crossing my face. He stood up and stepped closer to me, staring down at me, confused.

"What's wrong, Amber?" he asked.

I gripped the picture of my father and quickly strode out of the house and onto the back porch to clear my head. What was I going to do? Leave Davy for Ben? Leave Ben for Davy? Oh, why couldn't Davy stay instead of Ben? Why was this so hard? Why couldn't I just figure my heart out. Everything was so confusing!

I leaned on the railing of the porch and lifted my head. A breeze as soft as the breath of God filled the air. I could smell the fragrance of the salty sea. The sun was sinking into the ocean. I sighed deeply. Then I glanced at Benny's picture of my father. Come home soon, Dad, I said in my mind. I miss you. I need you to help me with my life.

"Amber?" Benny was standing in the doorway. I turned to face him, trying not to tear up.

"Yes?" I answered him.

"I understand if you're...in love with Davy. He's not a bad guy, you know," he mumbled.

"But I'm not! I mean...I don't know! I have no clue! I'm only fifteen and I don't understand who I even am yet!" I said, worriedly. My eyes started swelling up with tears and I swallowed the lump in my throat.

He approached me silently and leaned against the railing to gaze out at the calm sea. He seemed very calm. Cheery, almost. His eyes were shimmering and he seemed to be grinning a little.

"That's true," he said, quietly. "You still...need to grow up."

I didn't know what he meant by that at all. But it was true. I was still young. I wasn't even close to finishing high school and both Davy and Ben were out sailing the seas, living their lives. There was no time to think about love or who I was going to choose. Who knew? Maybe I'd meet a completely new man in the future and marry him! Maybe Davy and Ben would leave me and be gone from my life forever. It was just too soon to tell what was going to happen.

I was still drawing out my life.

--------------------------------------------

Thanks for reading! I'm sorry I haven't been able to update in a while, but I've been at my cabin and there's no wifi there. But I'm back now and I will try to write as much as possible. Check out my other stories! Bye!