Numb...

She avoided it like a deadly plague
It's the one thing she feared
Having no emotions
Feeling sad for no reason
Everything at the time nothing, but perfect
Life all sunshines and rainbows
Trapped away in a jolly fantasy
So naturally, she feared feeling numb

Her world began falling apart
Old memories and conversations running through her head
Overruling any logical explanation
The light dimed, creating a dark shadow
Favored the idea of the sun setting and the moon rising
Froze things for a moment
At the time things started to become unbalanced
She wanted the option of being numb

Saw it in a different light
Maybe it wasn't so bad after all...
It could help chase the demons away
Could block things out a moment
Do everything everything else couldn't
She started liking the idea of being numb

The light has been sucked out by the hurt
Unsteady heartbeats throughout her whole day
Haunting her when she wakes up and when she goes to sleep
Getting tired by overthinking everything
Loathing the coldness seeping slowly through her veins
Warmth now a far away feeling
Slowly being forgotten with everything else
No way to escape or go up
Nothing to help better the situation
Staring at her in the face… was becoming numb

Helped erase the heartbreaking pain
Being at dreadful peace
No longer having to crave to forget the endless torture anymore
For once things didn't become overly complicated
No longer did she want to live in this world of pain
Not that she wanted it but needed it
It became a must have for her
Taking the risk of giving into her fear
Became a reality although it wasn't her choice
It has now left her….left her numb

5.21.18