Chapter thirteen

            My heart was pounding inside my chest. It was as though it was trying to break through my rib cage. My stomach kept on twisting and turning. How is it possible just the thought of him made me like this? Maybe I should have stayed at the hospital and gotten a check up. It only had been ten minutes since Theo had dropped me home and my mind was still on him. I hated him for this. Whenever I wanted to focus on something I would sit down to start it but then thoughts of him would come in and then I would spend the next hour daydream scenarios that would never happen. I was getting my hopes up. Theo and I were childhood best friends, nothing more. I was slumped against the door, biting my nails in contemplation.

            "What are you thinking about kiddo?" asked my dad as he sat down next to me. I turned to look at him.

            "Have you ever liked someone so much that you might think you love them, but it's only been a short period of time?" Fiddling with my hands I refused to make eye contact with him, knowing he would know whom I was talking about.

            "Oh definitely. When I first met David I thought of him as just a friend, you know someone I could talk to. But then I slowly realized this weird feeling inside of me like it was more then friends. However, I didn't tell him this feeling until five months after we met, which I regret now." He said as he rubbed his hands together. I was a bit confused though.

            "Why do you regret telling him after five months?"

            "I wish I told him earlier. The whole time I was in love with him it ate me up that I couldn't tell him, in fear he didn't have the same feelings as me. If I had told him earlier I could have spent those five months with him. Who ever it is, Aurora, I suggest you tell them as soon as possible because they may leave you and you'll never have the chance to say it." Getting up, my dad dusted of his jeans and helped me up. He then gave me a pointed look, which meant "you better take my advice or I'll do it for you because I know who it is". Nodding, I headed up to my bedroom and plopped down onto my bed. What was I supposed to do now? I was in the same situation as my dad was. I have no idea if Theo likes me as much as I do. What I tell him and he laughs at me and asks where I got such a ridiculous idea? What if he rejects me? Oh that would be embarrassing. I bury my head into my pillow just at the thought of confessing my feelings. Getting up, I begin pacing my room. I had to come up with a plan before I die from my feelings eating me alive. I rather not have my tombstone read "here lies Aurora Sitters who died for not confessing her love to a super cute boy in a blue collared shirt". Maybe I should consult with an expert.

            "Yes, Aurora?" answered Sammie's voice. I knew she would be able to answer any boy questions I had I mean she had a boyfriend she must know what she is doing if she can attract someone.

            "I have a hypothetical question for you."

            "Does this hypothetical question have to do with you?" I pause and think about my response.

            "It's for a friend," I say, knowing she will catch onto my lie.

            "Well proceed. I would love to help this 'friend' of yours," sarcasm dripping from her voice. Had I not been in the current situation I was in I would have sassed her back.

            "Okay so she really likes this boy. When I mean like I mean almost love." I say the last bit in a whispered tone, hoping she didn't really hear it.

            "I'm sorry, what did you say? Love?" I heard her voice peak in interest.

            "Yes, love. Now she wants to confess to that boy but she doesn't know how to and what if she gets rejected and doesn't feel the same way as she does? Won't I be heart broken?" My voice wobbles, but I hold it together.

            "Well, I'm glad you admitted it that it was you who really needed help. But Aurora you really need to listen to me. You can't carry this feeling around with you forever. Soon it will be a burden more than love. Love isn't a burden, it's a gift. You still this boy straight up how you feel. Don't dance around and just do it. And if he rejects you, then he isn't worth your feelings. Trust if it's not him there is someone else out there who appreciates you just as much, if not more. So what are you going to do?" She asked making sure I understood her.

            "I'm going to woman up and tell him how I feel. But Sammie even if he rejects me, I can't reject him. He's going to linger in my heart forever. He's the only person I have given my heart to."

            "Well, my dear sweet Aurora, that is what we call a heartbreak. It's bound to happen sooner or later. Whatever happens I'm always here, now go out there and tell him." My heart had loosened up in my chest and I was somewhat able to breathe, but it wasn't over yet. I still had to face my biggest task. I looked down at my phone. Should I call him and tell him to come over? Should I text him, avoiding the awkwardness I would have with face-to-face interaction? Aurora, you are such a little bitch. Wear your damn woman panties and get out there and tell him yourself. Man, was my inner self mean, but it was spilling the truth tea. Just as I was about to type in Theo's name my phone began to ring. I almost went into cardiac arrest and ironically guess who was calling. If you guessed Theo you are one hundred percent correct. I ran into my bathroom and checked myself and then realized he couldn't see me over the phone.

            "Hi."

            "Hey, Aurora!" His soft voice calls. Oh god, I was getting chills just from a simple 'hi'.

            "Um, what's up?" I asked, trying to pull out the 'cool' Aurora, which as you can see, was not working.

            "Bring a blanket outside to your backyard."

            "A blanket? Outside? My backyard? Theo, are you okay?" I asked a bit concerned he wanted me to bring a blanket outside, considering how hot Florida was.

            "Yeah, I'm fine. Now come out!" With that he ended the call. Certainly was the weirdest call I've ever received, but curiosity got the best of me and I got my patterned blanket and when to the sliding door that lead to the backyard. Just before I opened it I saw Theo near the fire pit, arranging logs, trying to get them into a perfect pyramid shape. Every once in a while a log would fall out of place and he would have to start over. Watching Theo like this made me fall more in love with him. At the exact time Theo turned around and caught me staring. Shit, I must have looked like such a stalker. His face broke out into that smile that showed off his cute dimples and he waved to me to come out. Opening the door, I felt a cool breeze. Why was it suddenly so cold? Jesus, maybe I should have brought more blankets.

            "Aurora, how do you get this thing to work? I was trying to do it, but I'm kind of scared I might accidently set your house on fire." He said as he scratched the back of his neck. God, the urge to just kiss him right then and there was immense, but knowing I still hadn't told him what I wanted to say I simply smiled and started the fire. While I was doing that, and trying not to have my arm hair singed off, Theo began to set up the blankets near the fire and pull out things from a basket. The first was graham crackers, then several bars of chocolate, and finally multiple bags of marshmallows.

            "I remember you said you've never had s'mores before so why don't we try it?" He said, giving me that same smile that made my heart melt faster than chocolate on a summer day.

            "I told you that years ago. You remember?" I asked as I sat down on the blanket looking up at him.

            "Well, yeah." He said nervously, "But I also wanted to get to know the real Aurora Sitters." He said as he sat down next to me, only a couple inches apart. My breathing hitched and his soft blue eyes looked at e earnestly.

            "What do you want to know?"

            "Everything." He said with a tone that he meant it. His eyes held mine and there was something behind them that I couldn't place.

            "I want to know everything. From your favorite flower to what you think the meaning of life is." He said as leaned forward, closing the little space there was between us. Please. Please let me just grab your face and kiss you. My heart can't handle it anymore.

            "I have a better idea." I say as Theo begins making s'mores. "Let's play truth or lie. We each say a statement and then the other has to guess if it's a truth or lie."

            "I have to say, I have a killer poker face so it's not going to be easy. I'll go first. When I was seven I stole a pack of cigarettes from my grandpa." His face was the same as always. He was right this was hard.

            "False?" I say hesitantly. No way Theo would have done that. I mean he is too cute and innocent.

            "No, it's true. I know you're going to ask what I did with a pack of cigarettes. Well I was playing with my action figures and I wanted to make a tower that was smoking. So naturally I grabbed the cigarettes and built one." I said shrugging his shoulders.

            "Yeah. Naturally any seven-year-old boy would do that." Theo laughed. His nose crinkled in that adorable way that made me want to just pull him in, and his eyes, oh god, they squinted and made the lines around them appear making him twenty times cuter. He ran his hand through his hair, making it messier.

            "So, Aurora your turn." I had to think. What was I going to say?

            "I used eat carrots everyday so I could turn orange."

            "That is such a lie. Who would do that?" He asked leaning back on his arms.

            "Yeah, I know who does that." I say trying real hard to cover up that I actually did that.

            "Oh my. Aurora you actually did that, didn't you?" He smile got wider and he leaned in closer to me. I looked away because I a) couldn't confront him about that because that was a very embarrassing moment in my childhood and b) I thought my heart would stop if I looked at him any longer. I hear Theo's muffled laughter from behind me. I turn and give him a deathly gaze. However, this didn't shut him up, this instead made him laugh harder. I punched his arm, but I myself couldn't contain the smile that was beginning to appear. That's what Theo did. He made me laugh and smile even if I didn't want to.

            "My turn." He paused for a bit and then looked me straight in the eyes. His eyes had a softer, sadder sense to them. "I've been in love with one girl for more than six years." Oh. I was not expecting that. I felt the first crack in my heart form. It's definitely a lie. I mean who could love a person for that long and not tell them?

            "Lie." I say keeping eye contact with him.

            "Truth." That's when my heart shattered. No. No. No. There was no way that's true. Theo saw the disbelief in my face immediately.

            "Yeah, hard to believe, right? You would think after a while I would have told her, but every time I've around her it's like my thoughts are in disarray. Just thinking about her makes me forget how to function." He says looking at the fire flickering in front of us. Well, he was clearly not talking about me because he is breathing like a normal person unlike me. I couldn't tell him how I feel now. That would lead to me dying of embarrassment. Plan B: bottle it up and maybe by the time I'm 50 I'll have forgotten those feelings.

            "You go, Aurora."

            "Um, I'm kind of hungry let's make s'mores." I wanted to get as far way as possible from this topic before I burst into tears. How dumb was I to think Theo might actually like me? To him we were best friends, but to me he was much more and he didn't even know it. He handed me the s'more he had made. Now I would have enjoyed that s'more had I not been thinking about Theo.

            "I want to show you something." Said Theo, with the same twinkle in his eyes that he had when he got excited about something. He patted the spot next to him and I, hesitantly, went and sat next to him. He lay down and I followed suit. I was now facing the dark sky that twinkled with stars spanning across it.

            "Look to your right. Do you see that constellation?" He said pointing to something in the sky.

            "No." I say as I squint, thinking it will help me see well.

            "Aurora, its right there." Theo said once again, but this time he moved closer to me and pointed exactly where it was. He smelled like freshly done laundry. The scent of him was making my dizzy.

            "Yeah, I see it now." I say, though I was distracted by his detergent smell.

            "Well it's called the Northern Crown. It was said in Greek mythology that her lover abandoned the Cretan princess, Aridane, on an island, but then the true hero came in. Dionysus. He found her so beautiful and immediately fell in love with her. When they got married Aridane wore a crown, which she then threw into the sky and the jewels turned into stars. How's that for a wedding ceremony?" I was really paying attention to the story (sorry Theo!), but more to his voice. The way the words just flowed out of his mouth and the tone shifts when something dramatic happened to when something happy occurred. Every word enticed me so much that I had moved closer to Theo. I could hear his steady breathing and could feel his heart beating against his chest in soft thumps.

            "But do you know what stars really mean? I've always thought about it, but never liked the answers I got." He said as I felt his arm around my shoulder. I looked up at him and for once he didn't know something.

            "I think the stars are just like people." I say looking at the constellation above me. 

            "People? That's new." He said.

            "Yeah. But when you connect all these people they tell a story. We all have stories and sometimes they are interconnected. But by themselves they are still incredible and can shine even in the darkest of times. We just have to put in the same effort to see them." I paused, confused on whether I should continue or not.

            "I knew you would have the right answer." Theo said, his voice just above a whisper, his breathing against my ear, sending shiver down my body. Noticing, he wrapped his arm a bit tighter around me and we stayed that way for what seemed like eternity. My mission had completely failed. I didn't tell Theo how I really felt and my feelings for him seem like ivy, ever growing. But for some reason I was okay with this. Whatever Theo felt I knew I would love him, even if the two of us weren't meant to be. And in that moment my head nestled into the curve of his neck, breathing in his scent as I dosed off, hoping the stars would align for me. 

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Hey guys,

WOW LIKE I ACTUALLY WROTE SOMETHING AFTER LIKE SEVEN MILLION YEARS??!?!?!?!?!? (actually five months but it felt a really long time). I know this chapter was super shitty, but i mean i haven't written for 5 months so my writing is bound to have turned shitty. Anyways I was a feeling a bit down the other day so i decided to write it out and it really did help me cope. I hope you like this chapter!! More of this book to come! :)

vote, fan, comment (idk what wattpad has changed so just do your thing man)

love,

Alex :)