The smooth rim of the whiskey glass touched my bottom lip as I tipped the dark golden liquid into my mouth. It burned deliciously across my tongue and sank down my throat as I swallowed it back, placing the empty container on my metallic desk with a small clink.

Only the weak light of the desk lamp illuminated part the room, casting shadows over my paperwork and causing the Blanton’s bottle to glow a sultry orange in the dark. My tie seemed to squeeze tighter around my neck with every passing second I spent isolated with my own thoughts and I found myself clawing at the sleek material until it was hanging loose against my chest.

Lou.

Just her name alone was enough to make me slosh another round into my glass. Four years. It was arrogant of me to expect her to wait. I never intended for it to be this long. My mother had Cain on my heels at all times, watching me constantly, monitoring my interactions and making sure I was unable to contact anyone who knew where Lou was.

My first instinct was to find Alyssa, but my attempt to meet with her was thwarted immediately by men who worked for my mother. Her parents were bribed and she had moved within two weeks of the encounter.

Since then I had exhausted every piece of information I could grasp on her whereabouts, trying to pinpoint a location with the help of Noah. Lou had stopped contact with him almost immediately, but I was desperate to find anything that would help me find her. After four years I was hanging by a thread – a thread my mother had hastily cut before I could get a lead. It was a wild goose chase.

Ebony Records was also in quiet turmoil; I had succumbed to my personal life and therefore my work had suffered. Standards had slacked, despite Noah trying earnestly to keep the business afloat, as well as running the publishing house my father had signed over in his name. Shortly after my separation from Lou, he had received a donor and had been staying at the lake house for his retirement after handing the rest of his companies over to my mother. Naively, I thought that it would end the cold war between us, and that she would allow me to search for Lou.

“It was never about the companies, Zachary. She is too young for you and someone of her class is clearly only after your money.”

My knuckles were white as my hand clasped strongly around the glass. Another round glugged into the bottom of the glass and I eyed the nearly empty bottle beside it. I could feel my head becoming heavier with each drink and I leaned back in my leather chair.

I could see Lou walking into the office, her doe eyes narrowed as I watched her do all of the trivial tasks I had set for her. A small trace of a smile almost reached my lips, but the image of her wet, tear stained face blasted into my mind of the night I had to leave her.

I wondered what she looked like now; if her hair was longer, if she was taller, or if she dressed differently. Though, no matter how much she changed, I knew I would recognise her. Whether or not she would recognise me, is another question all together.

The whiskey warmed my throat as I greedily drank the dregs of the bottle. My stubble had grown to the point where it could no longer be called a five o’clock shadow and was more of a short beard. My physique was not as defined, but I still had a solid torso and - despite my drinking - I had thankfully avoided gaining too much weight. I had allowed my hair to grow to my collar, and it tousled over and around my ears. I didn’t interact with my colleagues anymore and Noah went to meetings in my place. I spent most of my time in my office until late at night most days and it was clear my drinking was a big problem.

Occasionally, if I was sober enough, I would drive past her old house and reminisce. The day she kissed Noah often entered my mind. I was going to visit her house, but when I saw Noah’s car in her drive I parked mine a few houses down and found myself spying on them unintentionally. Then they kissed. It caused an unfamiliar pang in my heart, and I could feel myself feeling angry. He drove away, and she was left on the path, watching it drive down the street. As soon as it was out of view, she began to dance like a mad woman. I remember feeling extremely jealous – she never acted like that the night we kissed at the hospital.

Her excuse of winning on a scratch card was the worst justification for her actions she could have ever come up with. My jealousy was forgotten for a moment as I found myself wanting to laugh out loud, but I remained calm. I found myself staring at her lips in a trance as she babbled about the card blowing away. I wanted to kiss her and have her, but it was clear she wanted Noah. I had to set boundaries, even if I was unaware that we would soon end up breaking them again.

Her sleeping face in Rome filled my mind, even her snores were feminine, though I had joked that they were loud.

My phone vibrated on the desk, causing my memories to dissipate and I swiped to answer the call as I pressed it against my ear.

“Zach? It’s me Noah.” He said rapidly.

“What?” I found myself snapping, my drunken state of mind taking its toll on my voice.

“Stamford. Lou is in Stamford.” He revealed, incredulously.

“Don’t fuck around with me.” I cussed agitatedly.

“I’m not.” He deadpanned. “She’s studying Classical Civilisation at university. Sound like the Lou we know to you?”

“How did you find out without Cain on your back?” I responded suspiciously. “Are you sure your source isn’t just a dead end the old hag has planted?”

“It’s genuine.” Noah affirmed. “Do you remember my Uncle Phil? I only recently got back in contact with him; turns out he owns a pub called The Pegasus in Stamford and guess who applied for and got accepted for a part time job there? Louise Whitlock.”

“Are you sure it’s her?” I could feel my heart hammering in my ribcage, threatening to burst. I rose to my feet and tried to move around my desk, but my legs seemed slower than my body with the alcohol in my blood and I stumbled slightly, the corner of the desk stabbing my abdomen, making me grunt.

“Yes.” He confirmed solidly.

I staggered across the room and grabbed my black coat, struggling to slip my arms through the sleeves. I’m going to see her again. My eyes were glassy as they filled at the thought of seeing her face, holding her.

“Zach.” Noah called from my phone. “Are you coming to Stamford or not?”

“Give me an hour to pack.” I retorted, finding the taxi number in my contacts. There was no way in hell I would be able to drive.  “I’ll meet you at Eldon Square.”

“Now? You want to go now?” Noah asked in disbelief.

“Yes, now. I need you to drive. I’m out of my head.” I groaned.

“Me? You know I can’t, Jane will kill me!” Noah exclaimed.

“Come on. There’s only one year left until you hit thirty, this might be the last spontaneous thing you get to do before there’s no going back and Jane makes you into her bitch. Just tell her it was all my fault and I pressured you into it.” I scoffed.

“You are pressuring me into it.” Noah responded dryly.

“Is it working?” I asked hopefully.

It was quiet for a moment before I heard a sigh – the sigh of defeat. I grinned victoriously as I walked out of the office and began to stride clumsily to the elevator.

“Fine.” He muttered. “I’ll meet you in an hour.”

“I really appreciate this, Noah.” I told him quietly.

“I know.” He said, before hanging up.

Dialling the taxi as soon as possible, I practically fell into the car before it drove me back to my house. I fumbled with my keys at the front door until I eventually managed to slot the key in and unlock it before I clambered upstairs. I quickly grabbed a holdall and stuffed it with clothes and any other essentials I might need. I stank of whiskey but a cold shower managed to take the edge off and helped to sober me up a bit. With five minutes to spare, I got another taxi and reached Eldon Square slightly later than I anticipated.

Noah was stood against his car which was parked up against the curb and I jogged over with a huge grin across my face.

“Managed to escape the dragon then?” I joked.

“Jane is not a dragon.” He glared at me. “But I was pretty lucky Eli was asleep so she didn’t dare risk waking him by yelling at me for how irresponsible I was being - and by the way - I agree with her. I have no idea why you couldn't just wait until you were sober enough to drive yourself there.”

“Do you really have to ask?" I stared at him, before chuckling. "It’s nice to know you still have a pair of balls though, even if you are whipped."

“Do you want me to drive you there or not?” He snapped.

“Okay, okay.” I held my hands up tipsily. “Sorry.”

“Just get in the car.” He rolled his eyes, popping the backseat car door open and shoving me in so I toppled face first into the seats, throwing his holdall on top of me, making me wince in pain.

“What have you brought with you, a bag of bricks?” I grumbled. “Fuck, I feel sick.”

“If you’re sick in my car, I swear to God I will decapitate you.” Noah warned.

“Just drive. The sooner we set off, the sooner we get there. Think of it as a happy little road trip.” I murmured.

“Man, you’re a fucking mess. How much have you had?” He questioned.

No answer; I had already begun to fall asleep, and his words were muffled in my mind as I closed my eyes, filled with images of what to expect when I arrived in Stamford, filled with images of her.

I was finally going to find Lou, and it couldn’t come soon enough.

__________________________________________

Hello everyone! 

A lot of you wanted to know how Zach was doing, so I hope this gave you the insight you were looking for! How do you think Louise is going to react when she sees him? What do you think of Zach and how he's coping?

This hasn't been edited, so please feel free to point out any errors!

Thanks a lot for reading, as always!

- R x