Emma stormed off to her room, annoyed by her conversation with Lin and Vanessa.  They seriously thought she might get addicted to pills again.  If they didn't have faith in her, who would.  One thing was for sure, she wasn't going back to that therapist ever again.  Emma knew her parents weren't going to let this hang over them before the end of the night.  Predictably, there was a knock at the door about 45 minutes later.

"What?" She asked, a bit annoyed.

Lin pushed the door open and closed it gently behind her.  "How's the homework coming?"

"Fine," she said, erasing something she'd just written down.

"And your pain?"

She glared at him as he sat on her desk chair.  "Well, seeing as everyone thinks I'm addicted to pain pills, it's great.  Pure euphoria."

Lin sighed and leaned forward on his elbows.  "Sweetheart, you have to realize that we're trying to be vigilant.  You do realize that just a couple months ago you were addicted to Adderall?"

"How could I forget?" she quipped.

"So it's perfectly reasonable for V and I to be concerned you might get addicted again," he said.  "I'm not going to apologize for that.  You scared us to death."

"Well I learned my lesson," she told him.  "It's not gonna happen again."

"Good," he said.  "So tomorrow, you'll go back to see your therapist at school."

"No I won't," she said, looking up at him.  "I'm not comfortable with her anymore."

"Because she was asking you about addiction?"

"Yes," Emma said.  "She was insinuating that I was probably going to get addicted again."

"Or was she just trying to talk to you about warning signs to look out for?" he asked.  "Emma, I think you're being a bit paranoid.  People aren't trying to judge you.  They're just trying to look out for you."

"It's not what it feels like," Emma said.

"Em, I don't want to have to do this, but there will have to be some consequences if you refuse to go to therapy."

Emma glared at him.  "Like what?"

"Like no phone," he said.

"That's bullshit!" she protested.

"No it's not," he said. "Your personal well-being comes first."

"I don't trust her!"

"Then we'll find you somewhere else," he said.  "You're going to see someone.  That's non-negotiable."

"You guys are impossible," she muttered, rubbing at her forehead.  Lin didn't argue.  It was fine if she hated them.  He stood up and walked to the door.

"Let me know if you need me to make an appointment with your old therapist," he said, opening the door.  Emma didn't respond.  She set her pencil down and let herself collapse onto her back.

___

Over at Savi's house, Lexi and Emily were busy doing some run-throughs of their number for the talent show.  They had great costumes, including fake facial hair and wigs.  They had the lyrics down cold.  They were ready.

"Alright," Lexi said to the group.  "We'll meet at school at 5:00 and do a couple more run throughs just to make sure we're good.  Okay?"

"Sounds good," Savi said.  They all decided to be done with rehearsing for now.  Savi put on some music and they pulled out a couple teeny bopper magazines and started to gossip about some of the boys at school.

The next afternoon, the girls met up at Hunter around 5:00 as they'd decided.  There wasn't really a reason to rehearse again, but it helped reassure them for the performance.  The talent show was a big deal at Hunter. 

The show was set to start at 6:00.  Lexi had texted Vanessa and Lin a couple times that day to make sure they were coming.  They'd missed her Moana performance because of Emilia's birth, so they weren't going to miss this one.  Lin arranged for his parents to come watch the youngest three for the evening.  Emma planned on attending the show with her friends.

Lexi watched from backstage as the auditorium began to fill up.  There were tons of students, including high schoolers.  The older kids were a little intimidating.  Lexi hoped she wouldn't mess up and embarrass herself.  She reminded herself how much they'd rehearsed and how her family was here to support her.

As 6:00 loomed, the nervousness was starting to get the best of her.  Her hands were clammy and there was a nervous feeling in the pit of her stomach that wouldn't go away.  The host for the evening, a junior kid, welcomed everyone at 6:00 and got the energy going.  The girls were the 11th act to go, so they had a little time to wait.  They heard some of the other kids performing from the holding area, and as their turn got closer, Lexi started to lose it.

Her heart started pounding and she started breathing more heavily.  Savi noticed her friend wasn't looking so hot.

"Lexi, are you okay?" She asked gently.

"I'm fine," Lexi tried to dismiss it away.  All of a sudden, a wave of panic washed over her like a tidal wave.  There was nothing she could do to stop it.  She curled up into a ball and started hyperventilating.

"Shit," Emily said.  "Something's wrong.  Go find her mom and dad."

Savi nodded and ran down the hallway to the auditorium doors.  She stood in the aisle and looked around frantically for Vanessa and Lin.  Finally she spotted them.  They were mid-way down the row, so she tried to make eye contact and waved.  Finally, Vanessa saw them and elbowed Lin.  Savi motioned for them to come.  They both slowly made their way around all the people and met Savi.

"Is something wrong?" Lin asked.

"Yeah," Savi said, leading them towards the doors.  "Lexi is freaking out."

They followed her as she quickly led them to the holding area.  One of the teachers was with Lexi now, her arm around her.  When she saw Lin and Vanessa she whispered to her and stepped away.  Lin sat down next to her, and Vanessa knelt in front of her.

"Lexi, it's me," Lin told her.  "V's here too.  You're having a panic attack.  Everything's okay.  Just breathe."

The 9th act finished, and there was applause throughout the audience.  The 10th act went on stage and their music began.  Lexi kept her face hidden, buried in her arms as she cried.  Lin could feel her trembling.  Several people were standing around, crowding them.

"Could you give us some space please?" Vanessa asked them all, rubbing her daughter's arm.

Lexi was still hyperventilating.  She needed to get her breathing under control.  Lin wasn't sure what to do, but he got an idea all of a sudden.  He managed to unclutch her arm from underneath her.  He set her hand on his chest.

"Feel my breathing," he told her gently.  "In and out. Breathe with me."

He exaggerated slow breathing, his chest going up and down.  Lexi hiccupped and gasped a little saying "okay, okay," quietly, over and over again, trying to calm herself.  She tried to focus on her hand going up and down, and tried to match her own breathing to it.

Slowly, her breathing began to calm down.  Vanessa held her other hand and squeezed.  As the 10th act finished, Lin felt her amp up again.  It was their turn, but there was no way they were going on right now.  The teacher in charge walked out and handed the host a card, telling him to skip act 11 for now.  They could go on later.

"I'm gonna miss the performance," Lexi said, starting to sit up.  She felt lightheaded, and Lin pulled her back down.

"You need to relax right now," he told her.  "You can go on later.  Right now, you need to calm down."

Lin looked at his wife.  "Let's get her to a chair."

Together, they helped her up, one on either side of her, and walked her over to a chair nearby.  Savi brought her friend some water, which she gladly accepted.

"Are you feeling a bit better now?" Vanessa asked her as her daughter sipped the water.  Lexi nodded, looking a little sweaty but otherwise okay.  This was her second panic attack, and it had been just as scary as the first one.

"It's no big deal you missed your turn," Lin assured her.  "They'll just squeeze you in later.  Do you think you're okay to go on?"

Lexi didn't want to let her friends down.  They'd all worked so hard.  She nodded, not wanting to let the opportunity pass them by.  A few more acts went on, and Lexi was looking stronger and more confident.  Lin and Vanessa stayed with her the whole time as reassurance.  As the act performing wound down, they headed back out to the auditorium to take their seats.

A couple minutes later, the girls' act was introduced.  They stepped on stage, fully in character, looking serious and colonial.  The familiar music came on and Lin grinned as Cabinet Battle #1 began.

Emily began the introduction about the cabinet meeting, then turned it over to Savi as Jefferson.  She killed it, hitting every word as Lexi crossed her arms, pacing around, shaking her head at Jefferson's words.  Finally, Lexi's turn came to be Hamilton.

"Thomas, that was a real nice declaration.  Welcome to the present, we're running a real nation," she began, her voice confident.  She continued on with her monologue, not missing a beat.  The climax came with the last verse, and she got into it.

"Madison, you mad as a hatter, so take your medicine! Dang, you're in worse shape than the national debt is in.  Sittin' there, useless has two gits.  Hey, turn around, bend over, I'll show you where my shoe fits!"

The audience erupted in cheers as Emily stepped in as Washington, trying to calm things down.  Lin clapped proudly, beaming from ear to ear.  Lexi did an awesome job.  He couldn't have done it better.  Well, maybe slightly better.  He did get a Tony.  As the song stopped, the audience clapped again.  The girls bowed and trotted off stage, obviously pleased with their performance.

Backstage, the girls joined hands and jumped up and down with glee.  They'd nailed it.  Lexi felt especially proud, having overcome her panic attack only a few minutes before.  They also felt a huge wave of relief.  It had been slightly terrifying going on stage in front of hundreds of people.  They waited patiently for the rest of the acts to perform.

They didn't expect to win anything and they didn't, but that didn't matter.  They'd gotten on stage and performed well.  After the show had ended, they went to the lobby to meet their parents.  It was a sea of students and proud families.  A lot of the theatre kids knew Lin was there, so they bombarded him with requests for selfies.  Lin happily complied, and spent a good half hour meeting and greeting people. 

After it had died down, the three families decided to go get ice cream to celebrate.  Most of the parents hadn't met each other before, but had had the girls over at some point.  They took over a few tables at a nearby ice cream store.  The girls sat and chatted and the parents all got to know each other a little better. 

After they'd finished, Lexi walked over and put her arms around Lin from behind.  Lin patted her arms and looked over his shoulder.  "Lin, can I have Savi and Emily over for a sleepover?"

He smirked, and looked over at the girls, seeing how excited they all were.  He couldn't let their party end now.  Lin agreed after taking a quick look at his wife for permission.  Lexi squealed and told her friends.  Their parents gave the okay.  Soon, Lin and Vanessa were heading home with two extra kids in tow.  The girls walked ahead, arm in arm, singing and laughing.

When they arrived home, Emma was still out with her friends, which was probably a good thing since there were three giggling middle schoolers taking over the apartment.  Lexi quickly got out junk food and sodas and signed into the Netflix account.  Luz and Luis chatted with Lin and Vanessa for a few minutes before kissing Lexi and heading home.

Vanessa reminded the girls to keep it down so they wouldn't wake up the little kids, then they disappeared to their bedroom to have some quiet and privacy.

___

Across the city, Emma and her friends were sitting outside, enjoying a warm evening.  They sipped cold drinks and laughed, enjoying each other's company.  One of the other kids, Seth, had been another over the students who'd gotten shot at school.  A bullet had grazed his left foot, so he was stuck with being on crutches for a while.  Like Emma, he was in good spirits.  It helped to be out with friends, being silly.

As they played musical chairs throughout the night, Emma eventually ended up next to Seth.  She didn't know him that well, but had a few classes with him over the last year or two.

"Nice scar," Seth commented, nodding at Emma's right upper arm.  She'd worn a tank top that evening with a cardigan.  Now that they were out of the air conditioning, her scar was on full display.  She smiled and looked down at her scar.

"My battle wound," she commented.  "How's yours?"

Seth was wearing sandals.  He leaned down and unstrapped them, then lifted his foot up to see.  It was a similar size as Emma's, as just about as red and nasty.

"I'm thinking about getting some kind of tattoo for it," he said.

Emma laughed.  "Like what?"

"I don't know," he said.  "Maybe just putting the date over it, or making it into something goofy."

Emma liked the sound of that.  Making something beautiful out of something ugly. 

"We should totally do that," Emma said, half teasing, half serious.

"So, have your parent been super overprotective of you lately?" he asked.

"Somewhat," Emma said.  "Mostly they're concerned about my mental health.  They think I'll go psycho or something."

"Yeah, mine too," he admitted.  "Have you been to see any of the counselors at school?"

"My parents made me," she said.  "I went to two sessions, but I don't want to go back."

"Why's that?"

Emma wasn't sure how much to reveal.  It wasn't widely known that she'd taken Adderall.  Just a couple close friends knew.  A couple of those close friends used it as an upper every now and then, but not to the extent that Emma had used them.

"They're afraid I'll get addicted to pain pills," she said.

"Why's that?" he asked her.

"Well, I had a little issue earlier in the year," she said.  "With Adderall.  They're afraid I'm more likely to abuse the prescription pain pills."

"Mine ran out, like, a week ago."

"Mine too," Emma said.  "Do you take anything else?"

"Just Advil," he said.  "It's been brutal."

"My parents managed to get me something a little weaker.  It's taken off the edge.  How much longer are you on crutches?"

"Maybe another couple weeks," he said.  "As soon as I'm ready, really.  It still hurts to put much weight on it.  But on the bright side, I do get sympathy from the ladies."

Emma laughed at that.  She'd seen plenty of girls at school taking the crutches for a spin.  She'd been down that route after the car accident.  Using crutches was fun for about ten minutes, until your armpits got tired.

"Plus you get out of class early so you don't get run over," Emma reminded him.

"Plus that," Seth smiled.

"Hey, Em!" her friend Katie called from a couple tables over.  "Come here!  Brad has an idea for what to do to your bullet wound.

Emma rolled her eyes and went over.  He had a Sharpie in his hands and was laughing hysterically.

"Do you trust me?" he asked Emma.

Emma grinned.  "Not really."

"Come on," he said.  "It's not permanent."

Emma reluctantly agreed, looking away as she felt the cool marker touch her skin.  About thirty seconds later, Brad was cracking up, along with Katie and a few other kids nearby.

"Okay, done," he laughed.  Emma looked down at her arm.  He'd turned her bullet wound into a testicle, and had drawn the rest of the male anatomy around it.

"Oh my GOD!" she complained.  "You're so immature!"

Brad just laughed and laughed, pounding his fist on the table.  Emma rolled her eyes and reminded herself to put a band-aid over it when she got home.  It would not go over well at school.  Or home.

Emma looked at her phone.  It was almost 11:00, curfew.  She grabbed her purse and told everyone she had to go.  Seth offered to take her home and she accepted.  They'd kind of hit it off.  Emma's apartment building was a few blocks over, so they just walked on the sidewalk.  They talked about school and their favorite and least favorite teachers.  She asked him about his family.  He'd been a life-long New Yorker.

When they reached Emma's apartment door, they stopped and Seth pulled out his phone.

"Mind if I get your digits?" He asked.

"Sure," she smiled.  She rattled off her phone number.  He sent her a text so she had his number as well.  Seth gave her a quick hug before heading down the hallway.

When Emma stepped in, the room was dark apart from the glow of the TV.  She looked over the couch and saw Lexi and two of her friends eating popcorn, watching a horror movie.

"Hey dorks," she told them jokingly.  "Nice job earlier."

"Thanks!" they said in unison.  Emma quickly disappeared to her bedroom to change and get ready for bed.  She knocked on her parents' bedroom to tell them she was home.  They were in bed reading.  As she stepped in, Lin's eyes narrowed a little.

"What's that on your arm?"

"My bullet wound?" she asked, then remembered it had been transformed.  She instantly slapped her hand on top of it.  "Uh, nothing.  Just something stupid.  Night!"

Lin furrowed his eyebrows as Emma shut their door.  "Was that a dick on her arm?"

Vanessa sighed and shrugged.

___

The next morning, Emma sauntered out of bed a little after 10.  It was Saturday and she had nowhere to be.  She settled into a kitchen chair with a bowl of Lucky Charms.  Sebastian was snacking on some Cheerios.  He'd probably been up for hours.

"Emma, there's a penis on your arm!" he said.

Emma almost choked on her cereal.  She coughed and tried to compose herself.  Emma wiped the tears out of her eyes.  Leave it to Sebastian to be blunt.

"It's not a...penis, Sebastian," she had trouble using that word casually, unlike her younger brother.

"Yeah it is," he said.  "There's testicles."

"Stop talking about testicles," Vanessa called from the living room, causing the middle school girls to giggle.  Emma quickly ran off to her room and threw on a hoodie to cover it up.  She made a mental note to scrub hard at it in the shower later.

"Do I want to ask how you got that?" Lin asked, sitting at the table with his second cup of coffee of the morning.

"Just some kids from school being stupid," she explained.  "It's permanent marker."

"Well if you'd gotten a permanent tattoo of the male anatomy on your arm, I'd be very concerned," he told his daughter.  Emma laughed.

"I'm not that crazy," she said, drowning a couple marshmallows in her milk. Lin smirked and opened the paper.

Emilia was getting extra attention this morning.  Savi and Emily wanted to put bows on her and hold her.  Luckily, she was being pretty chill that morning.  Vanessa just smiled as she relaxed with her coffee in front of the TV.  Francisco was getting some extra love from the girls as well.  None of them had little brothers and sisters.

"You're so lucky to have a baby sister," Savi said.  "I only have two big brothers.  They smell."

"So does she," Lexi said.  "Plus she screams her head off."

"But you can't stay mad at her," Emily pointed out as she put a different headband on Emilia.  "She's so cute."

After a while, the girls had gotten their fill of baby time.  It was close to lunch and the girls started to pack up their items to go home.  It was a nice day, so Lin decided to take Cisco out for a walk and walk the girls home.  They headed down the street and walked a couple blocks to Emily's house.  They all walked up the stairs to her apartment and Lin said a quick hello to her parents.  Next was Savi.  A few more blocks over and she was home as well. 

"Can we stop at Starbucks?" Lexi asked hopefully.  Lin smirked, thinking she would ask about that.  He said yes, and made her remind him to get Vanessa a latte when they left.

Lexi ordered something incredibly sugary, and Lin just got a regular coffee.  They sat outdoors and Cisco drank some milk out of his sippy cup.

"So are you proud of how you did on Friday?" he asked her, looking at his coffee cup.  His name was spelled 'Lynn'.

"Yeah," she said.  "I got all the words right.  We had to change a couple words of course.  We can't cuss at school."

"Of course," he said.  "I loved it.  You girls did a great job."

"Thanks," she said, licking some of the foam off the top of her cup.  Lin wanted to bring up her panic attack to make sure she didn't feel ashamed of what had happened.  It wasn't something she could control.

"Why do you think you had a panic attack before hand?" He asked, sipping his coffee.

She shrugged.  "I don't know," she said.  "I guess I just got really nervous.  It kept building and building."

"Do you remember those breathing exercises your therapist taught you?"

"Yeah," she said.  "I just didn't think I'd gotten that bad."

"Well, you'll start to learn the warning signs," he said.  "But it's nothing to be ashamed of.  You know that right?"

"I know," she said, resting her chin on her forearm.  "I just wish I could go back to normal."

"Well, it'll take a while, but you'll get there." He assured her.

"But what if I have panic attacks for the rest of my life?" she asked.

"You'll learn to deal," he said.  "I think they'll become less and less frequent."

Lexi sighed, staring at her cup.

"More!" Cisco demanded, his cup empty.  Lin stood up, balancing his son on his hip. 

"Hold down the fort.  I'll be back," he said.  Lin went back inside to buy a kid's milk.  A few minutes later, he returned and Cisco was already chugging his milk.

"I've been thinking," he said.  "Maybe I should get you a phone."

Lexi immediately sat up and gasped.  "Really?!"

Her excitement made him smile.  He nodded as he rubbed Cisco's belly.  "I was worried sick when I didn't know where you were during the shooting.  Plus you're in New York City and I worry about you going anywhere alone."

"Oh my God, Lin!" she said, full of excitement.  "Thank you! Thank you!  Can we go now?"

He nodded.  "As soon as we finish."

Lexi chugged her beverage a bit faster than she needed to.  Lin took his time, partially to tease her.  About ten minutes later, they were heading out.  They'd stop by again to get Vanessa her drink on the way back.

At the AT&T store, Lin bought Lexi an iPhone X.  She picked out a cute case and jumped around way too much.  They headed home, stopped at Starbucks again, and finally arrived.  Lexi immediately got on the WiFi and started downloading apps.

"What?  She gets an iPhone X?"

"You aren't eligible for an upgrade right now," Lin told her.  "Plus you have a dick on your arm."

Lexi burst out laughing and Emma narrowed her eyes at Lin. "I didn't ask for it."

"I'm glad to know that," he said.  "You'll get a new phone next year."

"That's, like, forever away!" she complained.  "I got shot, dammit!  I should get the X and she should get my 8."

"Your phone is perfectly fine," Lin said.  "Quit whining."

"If I can't use the 'I got shot' card for anything, I should get to use it for this."

Lin just ignored her as he cleaned up around the living room.  He told Lexi she needed to get out the vacuum and clean up all the stray popcorn pieces.  She happily complied, since he'd just gotten her a brand new iPhone.

Lexi spent most of the rest of the day texting her friends and posting selfies on Instagram.  Lin reminded her she primarily had it for her safety.  She dutifully agreed but spent the whole time staring at the screen.

"If you send me any Farmville requests on Facebook, I'm cutting you out of the family plan," he warned her.

___

The weekend soon came to an end and Monday morning came around.  The family lazily got ready in the morning, not excited about the work week like most of the world.  Lin needed to catch Emma before she left to remind her about her counseling sessions.

When she went to the pantry to grab a breakfast bar, he walked over to talk to her quietly.

"Are you going to your therapist today at school?" He asked.

She sighed, hoping he'd forgotten.  "Fine," she agreed begrudgingly. 

"Remember, you can go to your old therapist if that's easier." He said.

"No, that will interfere with ballet," she said.  Emma picked up her backpack and headed for the door.  She knew her parents would be checking with the school to make sure she'd gone.

Emma had worn a t-shirt that covered her arm.  Her temporary tattoo was mostly faded, but it was still recognizable.  Every time she passed Brad in the hallway, he smirked at her and she couldn't help but smile back.  It was like their little secret.

When study hall came around, Emma went to the office like she'd promised.  Her therapist seemed glad she was back.

"Emma, I wanted to let you know that I'm not trying to insinuate that you'd abuse the pain pills.  It's just that I know your parents are concerned, and there's a chance it could happen after something traumatic like this."

"I know," Emma said, forcing a small smile.  "My parents and I talked this weekend.  I'm okay with it."

"Good," she said.  "Emma, today I'd like to try something new with you.  Meditation.  Have you ever done it?"

Emma made a weirded-out face.  It was something oddballs did.  "No."

"Okay," she said, setting some papers down.  "The key is to have an open mind and try to block out your thoughts.  So, go ahead and relax in your chair.  Let your back rest against the back of the chair.  Close your eyes."

Emma sighed, not really seeing the point of this, but she decided to try. 

"Take in a couple cleansing breaths," she said.  "Let your hands rest comfortably on your legs, and let your shoulders relax."

The therapist led Emma through a simple meditation, about 15 minutes long.  When it was finished, Emma fluttered her eyes open and felt a bit more at peace.  Her shoulders were less tense.  She hadn't realized they'd been tense in the first place.

"How do you feel?" she asked.

"Better," Emma admitted.

"Good," she said, smiling.  "We're about finished with our time today.  I'd like you to try meditating once a day.  Whatever time is best for you.  About 15 minutes.  There are tons of videos on Youtube that you can listen to.  Any questions?"

"Uh, no," she said, grabbing her back.  "Thanks."

____

Vanessa asked Emma about her session and she told her about the meditation.

"That's a great idea," she said.  "I've done it a few times and it's very calming.  I should really do it more.  Maybe we can do it together."

"Yeah, maybe," Emma said.

"Maybe before bed?" Vanessa suggested.

"Yeah, sounds good," Emma agreed.

Later that night, the kids had all been put to bed.  Lin wandered out to the kitchen and stumbled upon an odd sight.  Vanessa and Emma were sitting cross-legged on the floor, the lights dimmed, eyes closed.  He could faintly hear some music playing, along with a soothing voice guiding them through meditation.  He couldn't stop himself from taking a picture.  Quietly, he padded down the hallway to give them some peace and he climbed into bed.

Vanessa joined him a few minutes later, looking relaxed.

"What was all that about?" he asked as she settled in.

"We were meditating," she explained.  "Nora's therapist had her try it today."

"Ah," he said.

"Maybe you should try it, Mr. No Chill," she suggested as she grabbed her book.  Lin chuckled and turned onto his side, letting his hand rub her belly.  She didn't flinch any more.

"Have you noticed Emma crying at all?" he asked.

"No.  Why?" she asked.

"I'm just thinking," he paused.  "If she went through something this traumatic, doesn't she need to have some sort of release?  I mean, she cried in the hospital, but I don't think she's gotten emotional since."

Vanessa thought for a moment and realized she hadn't seen Emma cry lately either. 

"She's keeping it bottled up," Vanessa said.  "It's going to boil over eventually."

"Yeah," he agreed.  "But I doubt she'll admit it.  She'll keep pushing through."

"Maybe the meditation will help with it."

"Yeah, maybe," he said, turning back onto his back.  "She's so dead set on keeping busy.  She's non-stop."

"Sounds like someone else I know," Vanessa quipped as she opened her book to the marked page.  Lin grinned and settled into bed.