When Emma got home from ballet that evening, Vanessa was cooking in the kitchen while Emilia napped and the boys played. She sighed as she set her heavy backpack down.

"How'd your appointment go?" She asked Emma, stirring the sauce.

Emma made an annoyed face. "Fine, but she wants me to come back every day. I can't do that."

"Why not?"

"Because it's my study hall," she explained. "I already have hours of homework each night, and she's taking almost half an hour of my work time."

"Half an hour won't kill you," Vanessa said. "Plus you'll be in a better state of mind."

"I doubt it," she said. "I took my last pill this morning. I'll see how the pain is tomorrow."

Emma had since dropped the arm sling, her arm feeling strong enough now. She was taking it easy in ballet with the arm movements, but had most of her strength back. When she wore her leo, she had a badass scar to show off.

Emma took a shower then holed up in her room to get her homework done. It had become harder to do homework now with three young children in the house. There seemed to be constant noise from at least one of them. Most of the time, she resorted to plugging in her earbuds, but sometimes she just wanted silence.

The next afternoon, Emma was sitting in her AP History class when she felt the pain in her arm start to build. She hadn't thought the pain would be this bad, but it was. By the end of the school day, she was almost in tears. She didn't think she'd be able to make it through ballet that day, but she hated to miss.

She called Lin, not sure what to do.

"Lin? I don't know what to do?" She said, sounding thoroughly distressed.

"Calm down, baby," he told her gently. "What's going on?"

"My arm hurts so bad," she said, not trying to hide the fact she was on the verge of tears. "I don't think I can go to ballet."

To Lin, it was an easy, instant decision. If she was in this amount of pain, she needed to skip ballet. He knew that Emma was very committed, though and hated missing practice. It was almost like the end of the world, and she felt incredibly guilty.

"Em, the last thing you need to be worried about right now is ballet," he told her. "If you're in pain, come home and rest."

"But we're learning the Nutcracker dance," she said. "If I don't show up, they might just give the whole part to Katie."

"I doubt that will happen because you miss one practice," he reasoned. "Em, they know you got shot and had surgery. They're gonna give you a break. Do you want me to call them?"

"No, I'll call," she said. "Can you call my doctor and ask for more meds?"

Lin sighed. "They can't give you any more refills on that, Em. It's a Class C drug."

"Well can't they give me a Class B drug or something? Anything?"

Lin could feel the pain in her voice and wished he could help her out. "Come home and let's get you some Advil and put a heat pad on your arm."

Emma agreed and they hung up. Lin looked up Emma's doctor and called them up. He asked if they had any over-the-counter medications that would be more effective than Advil. The doctor said they were about the same, but that she could take a double dose.

When Emma arrived home fifteen minutes later, Lin could see the pain etched all over Emma's face. It broke his heart. She'd been through pain with the car accident a couple years ago, and now this. Lin already had the Advil waiting for her on the counter along with a big glass of water.

"Here," he said, gesturing to them. "Take these."

Emma dropped her bag and quickly chugged back the pills and the water. Lin put the heat pad in the microwave and told Emma to go change into something comfortable and climb into bed. A few minutes later, he walked back to her room with the heat pad, lifted up the covers and set it on her upper right arm. Emma relaxed a bit, but her face still registered pain.

Lin sat on her bed. "How long has it been like this?"

"Since the afternoon," she said. "It started coming on all of a sudden."

"Is it bad enough that it's hard to focus?" he asked.

"Yes," she started tearing up. "I don't know how I'm gonna get through my homework.

"Sshhh," he rubbed her good arm, "Your homework is not that important. Your physical well-being is."

"So why can't they give me more meds?"

"Because it's addictive," he said.

"Are you just not letting me have more because I got into Adderall?"

"No," he told her. "There aren't any doctors who would prescribe you more. It's unethical."

"It's unethical how much pain I'm in," she complained, rubbing her hand on her forehead.

"Is there anything else that could help you? Hot chocolate? A bath?"

"Maybe a bath in a little while," she whimpered, holding her arms up like a child for a hug. Lin leaned down and she wrapped her arms around him, sobbing into his shoulder. He felt so badly for her.

"It's gonna be okay," he assured her. "It's gonna hurt for a while, but it's not forever."

Lin turned his head and kissed her cheek, then sat up. "Try to take a nap. If you don't get through your homework, I'll email your teachers and explain. You can get an extension."

Emma seemed a bit reassured and she settled in. Lin turned the knob on her blinds to make the room a bit darker, then quietly shut the door on his way out. Emma took things way too seriously sometimes. It was only high school; the world wouldn't end if she didn't turn her homework in on time. Lin knew the teachers were being lenient and understanding with the kids. They'd been through trauma and some were still recovering from surgery.

Lin decided Emma needed to stay home from school the next day, but didn't want to wake her to tell her. When she awoke at ten, she sat up in bed, completely stressed because she thought she was late to school. She rushed out to the kitchen, where Lin was working.

"Why didn't you wake me up?!"

"You're not going to school today," he told her, looking up from his laptop. "You're still in too much pain."

"But I have a test in AP History today!"

"Emma, you can take it when you get back," he told her. "The world will not end if you miss a day at school."

"Says the person who doesn't have to make up all the work," she quipped, going to the cabinet for a mug.

"You'll be fine," he told his over-dramatic child.

"Ugghh," she moaned as she got out the coffee. "I wish I could just regenerate an arm."

Lin smirked and continued his work.

It was day two of Emma's pain and she was starting to get to a point where she could hardly stand it. How long was this supposed to go on? She hated that she was thinking of it, but she wondered if her friend Sam at school would have any kind of high-end painkillers. Emma knew she shouldn't do it, but she was very tempted. No one seemed to understand the type of pain she was in.

She tried to dull the pain with Advil, heat pads, and baths, but they helped only slightly. The pain was still there and unbearable. The only time she was free from it was when she slept. Therefore, she tried to nap as much as possible. Her body was still healing, so it needed extra sleep.

Lin checked on his daughter periodically and was glad to see that she was actually sleeping a lot. She often sacrificed her sleep to get work done. It was taking a lot of reassuring, but he was glad he was getting her to take some time to relax and sleep and start to heal.

In the middle of the night, Lin woke up to crying. He looked over at the bassinet and realized it wasn't Emilia. As he woke up a little more and sat up, he knew it didn't sound like a little kid. He figured it was Emma. Lin got out of bed and padded down the hallway. He pushed the door open to find Emma curled up in bed in the fetal position, crying from the pain.

"Oh, sweetheart," he said, walking over to her. Lin sat on the bed and pulled her upper body over his lap, then started gently rubbing her back.

"It hurts so bad," she told him.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart," he said. If he could take on her pain instead, he would, but it didn't work that way. All he could do was be there for her.

"Please, can I call Sam and see if he has anything?"

Lin hadn't heard that name in quite a while. He realized it was the kid who'd supplied Emma with Adderall.

"No, Em," he told her firmly but gently. "That's not going to do you any good."

"It'll take away the pain," she said. "I can't stand it anymore. I won't get addicted, I promise."

Lin squeezed her shoulder. "It's not as easy as that. You can't control it."

"But if I only took half a pill?"

"Emma, no," he told her again. "Let me call the doctor in the morning and see if there's anything else they can give you. I hate seeing you like this."

Vanessa pushed the door open, having heard the crying. She looked at Emma sympathetically, crossing her arms.

"Want me to sleep with you tonight?" She offered. Emma nodded, just wanting some comfort.

"I'll go heat up a pad," Lin said as he carefully extracted himself from underneath his daughter. Vanessa climbed in behind Emma and wrapped her arms around her. Lin returned a couple minutes later with a heat pad. He kissed both Emma and Vanessa, then headed back to his bedroom.

Lin didn't think the amount of pain Emma was in was right, so he called up the doctor who'd operated on her the next morning. He refused to prescribe any more, and Lin started getting angry with him. How was it okay to let a kid suffer this much? It was ridiculous. He hung up and called the girls' regular doctor, explaining the situation. The doctor agreed to see Emma that afternoon. She yet again stayed home from school, so Lin took her to her appointment at 2:00.

The doctor couldn't prescribe anything terribly strong, but they did settle on a medication that would hopefully take off the edge. Emma looked relieved to have something. As soon as they'd left the office they went to the pharmacy to fill the prescription and get some chocolate. Emma bought a bottle of water in the store and chugged her medication immediately. Lin hoped it would do the trick.

Emma relaxed on the couch at home, eating her chocolate. Lin started making her some tomato soup and grilled cheese, good comfort food. Within the hour, she was feeling much better. Lin was relieved. He walked over and sat on the arm of the couch next to her.

"You doing better?" He asked.

"Much," she said. "I'm going back to school and ballet tomorrow."

"Woah," he said. "Hold the reins. You're still recovering from surgery and dealing with pain. Maybe skip ballet?"

"Lin, no," she said like it was the most ridiculous thing she'd ever heard. "I told you we're learning the routine for the Nutcracker."

"You can catch up ," he said.

"I'm already behind," she said.

Lin knew it was useless arguing with her. She was very driven. "Promise that you'll take it easy if you start to get more pain?"

"Yeah, fine," she said somewhat dismissively.

"Em," he said a bit more seriously. Emma looked up at him and saw a serious look on his face.

"Okay, Lin," she said to appease him. "I promise."

"Good girl," he said, getting up. Francisco chose that moment to come streaking through the house buck naked. He had recently become obsessed with being naked. All of a sudden, he'd become strongly opposed to wearing a diaper, which had resulted in more than one mess.

Lin groaned and ran off to chase his son. Emma laughed in amusement.

Vanessa had since gone back to work full time, and she found it was helping with her mood. Now that she had something else to focus on besides Emilia's colic, she was more patient at home. At the end of a work day, she looked forward to coming home to see all the kids. Time away was doing wonders for her. She walked in a few minutes later, looking professional.

"Hi, Em," she greeted her oldest child. "I heard you finally got some meds. How are you feeling?"

"Much better," she reported. "I'm going back to school tomorrow."

"Great," she said, setting her purse on the counter.

"Lin's chasing Cisco. He's naked again."

Vanessa scoffed. "Little terror," she said. "Let's just hope he doesn't do it when we have company over someday."

Sebastian ran in and hugged his mother's legs. He tugged on her hand to take her to his bedroom and show her a Lego structure he'd made. Vanessa happily followed, feeling loved and needed. She met her husband in the room, where he had managed to get another diaper on their youngest son.

"Where's Lexi?" Vanessa asked.

"She's at Savi's," he told her as he put a shirt on Cisco. "They're doing some final rehearsals for the talent show.

"Oh right," she said. "That's Friday isn't it?"

"Yep," he said, and was cut off by Sebastian explaining his creation to his mother. Lin picked up Cisco and took him back to the living room. The boys were doing well sharing a room together for now. As they got older, they might need their own space again. By that time, at least Emma would be out of the house. It was strange to think how soon Emma and Alexis would be grown up. Emma had only one more year of school before college. Lexi would be in high school soon. Their own biological family was still very young. They knew it would go fast, though. In a flash, Sebastian, Francisco and Emilia would be grown as well.

Emilia was spending most of her days with Luz and Luis. Since she was under six months old, the day care that Cisco attended wouldn't take her yet. Lin could watch her at home some days, but several days a week she was with her grandparents. It was comforting to Vanessa to know that Emilia cried all day with them as well. It wasn't just her.

After Vanessa had fed and tucked Emilia into her bassinet for the night, she went to go talk to Emma. She was concerned that she wouldn't go back to the therapist at school because of time. Vanessa wasn't sure she realized how important it was to treat her mental health now and take it seriously. If she buried it all, it might explode later.

Predictably, Emma was neck-deep in homework.

"Can you take a quick break?" Vanessa asked.

"Uhh...a really quick one," she said, setting her pencil down. Vanessa sat on her bed.

"I know you're sick of hearing this, but I really think you need to keep going to the therapist at Hunter," she said. "If you don't, I'm afraid all this trauma is going to build up inside of you and it will explode."

"I'm used to pressure, Vanessa," she said. "I can handle it."

"You're not used to getting shot," Vanessa pointed out. "That's a major trauma. Your brain needs to deal with it."

Emma sighed and rubbed at her forehead. She really didn't feel she had time for this.

"What if I go three times a week?" She tried to compromise.

"Four," Vanessa suggested.

"Fine," she said. "But I'm not going to a therapist outside of school too. I don't have time."

Vanessa smirked as she stood up. It was like the kid had every moment of her day scheduled out. She wonked Emma's bun around a little as she passed by.

"Don't be so serious," she told Emma. "And don't stay up too late."

___

The next day, Emma dutifully went to the therapist's office during her study hall. She plopped her heavy backpack down and slouched a bit in her chair. At least it was a comfy chair and she could maybe relax a little. The therapist was glad she was back.

"So, you've been away for a few days," she noticed. "Does that mean you took some time for yourself?"

"Not exactly," Emma said. "My pain prescription ran out and I was in an enormous amount of pain so I stayed home. I finally got a new prescription for something a little less strong, but it seems to be working for the most part."

Emma felt a bit of a dull pain in her arm throughout the day, but it was nothing compared to what it had felt like days before. It had been excruciating. Now she felt like she could actually concentrate and function like a normal person.

"Sorry to hear that," she said. "How's your arm healing up otherwise?"

Emma held out her arm and pulled up her sleeves, turning it and examining a bit. The wound was still pretty fresh and angry. It was red and dark. She wasn't exactly trying to cover it up with her clothing, but she wasn't trying to show it off either.

"It's fine," she said. "The muscle atrophied a bit, so I'm working on getting that back. Ballet helps."

"I imagine it does," she said. "Are you back at ballet as well?"

"Yes," she said. "In fact, I'm playing Sugarplum Fairy again this year. I've missed a few practices though, so I need to catch up."

The therapist nodded. "Your parents mentioned to me that you have a tendency to overdo things sometimes. And you've gotten into some trouble in the past with Adderall? Tell me about that."

She sighed, feeling annoyed that her parents had spoken to her therapist. Probably Vanessa. "I think we have different definitions of overdoing it. I stay on top of things and I expect a lot from myself. For a while, I felt I needed Adderall to help out."

"And did it?"

"Very much so," she said, remembering how wonderful it had been to have the extra energy, the extra boost. "My parents found out and made me quit though."

"How has that been?"

"I guess I'm fine now, but it sucked for a while," she admitted. "My body wanted it."

"And are you afraid that might happen again with your pain medication?"

Emma narrowed her eyes at the therapist. Why did everyone think she was going to get addicted again.

"No," she said flatly. "I'm fine."

"Do you understand why your parents might be worried though?"

"They haven't said they're worried," Emma said. "Why, did they say that to you?"

"In certain terms," she admitted.

Emma scoffed. Did they really not trust her? She guessed she had mentioned to Lin the other day, in a moment of pain-induced weakness, that she wanted to ask Sam for some painkiller. That was a stupid thing to say.

"Well I'm not addicted," she said. "I got another medication which isn't addicting."

"Isn't as addicting," she clarified. "There's still a risk."

"So, every time I have to take a medication, am I going to be grilled like this? Is this what I have to look forward to? Because of one mistake?"

"Emma, I don't know you very well yet," she admitted. "But you seem to be a very driven, determined young lady. Sometimes honor students are the ones we have to be most worried about in terms of prescription pill abuse."

Emma had had enough. She scoffed and stood up, grabbing her backpack. In her haste, she accidentally tried to pick it up with her weak arm, and a shot of pain went through her arm. She dropped it and tried again with her other arm.

"Emma," the therapist stood, trying to talk her into staying.

"I'm done," she said, walking out the door.

___

Emma pushed herself at ballet, probably more than she should have, but it felt good. She liked going home feeling exhausted and fulfilled. It had also taken her mind off her session with the therapist. Had her parents asked to check in on her about the pills? It seemed like everyone was suspecting her nowadays and she was sick of it. As she walked down the sidewalk on her way home, she felt herself get angrier and angier about it.

She walked in the door to find Lin cooking dinner with Emilia sitting in her carrier on the counter. He was singing to her in an attempt to keep her happy.

"Hey, Em," he said.

"Hi," she said shortly. "Did you and Vanessa talk to my therapist?"

"You mean the one at school?" He asked as he gently rocked Emilia's carrier. Emma nodded. "No, I haven't. Why?"

"It just seems she's digging around a lot about me and my pain medication. Do you guys not trust me anymore?"

"Woah, woah," he said, setting down the spoon he'd been stirring the food with. He walked closer to her so they could have a better conversation. "Sweetheart, we'll always be a little concerned about you because it happened, but I don't think you'd do it again."

"Then why is she asking me all those questions?" she demanded.

"I don't know, Em," he said. "She's probably just doing her job. It's all part of your recovery."

"Well all she did was piss me off," Emma said. "Where's Vanessa?"

"In the boys' room," he said. Emma walked off, dropping her backpack at her bedroom door before walking down the hall to the boys' room. Vanessa was changing Cisco's diaper. She smiled when she saw Emma walk in but then saw her face and was concerned.

"What's wrong, Emma?"

"Did you talk to my therapist at school?" she asked. Vanessa expertly fastened up Cisco's new diaper without looking and reached for his shorts.

"I had a couple conversations with her yes," Vanessa said. She picked up Cisco and set him on her hip.

"Why?" she asked, not exactly pleasantly.

"Well I wanted to give her an idea of how you've been and what you've been through in the past."

"All she asked me about today was pills. Me and was I abusing pain pills. Did you tell her to ask that so you could check up on me?"

Vanessa could see her daughter was angry. Cisco didn't need to witness this. She set him down on the floor and told him to go find his daddy. The toddler waddled off down the hallway.

"Emma, no," she said, brushing away a piece of fallen hair. "I did tell her you were addicted to Adderall before and that you were having a hard time with your pain pill withdrawal."

"Do you think I'm abusing them again?" she asked, narrowing her eyes at Vanessa.

"No, but I wasn't sure," she admitted. "All of a sudden you were fine again."

"Because I got a different medication!" Emma explained, raising her voice. Vanessa crossed her arms.

"Emma, I'm trying to make sure you get through this healthy," she explained. "So sometimes that involves some uncomfortable things. Remember, you abused the Adderall pills all by yourself and then were taking them behind our backs for months. There's good reason for Lin and I to be concerned you'll abuse pills again."

"So you both think I'm doing it?" Emma saw red. Lin had just told her he didn't think she would do it again. He was lying. She stormed back to the kitchen, where Cisco was tugging at his shorts.

"You don't trust me, do you?" she told him, crossing her arms.

"Excuse me?" He asked, surprised at the accusation. Vanessa was a few steps behind. She looked a bit annoyed, one hand on her hip. Emilia was fussing a bit, so she reached to take her out of the carrier.

"You just said you didn't think I'd abuse pills again," she said. "And Vanessa just said you both are worried that I will. You're lying."

Lin pushed his tongue around the front of his mouth, not amused. "I don't appreciate being accused of lying, Emma. And you need to adjust your tone."

"So what is it?" she continued with her voice raised. "You trust me or you don't?"

Lin sighed, putting a hand on his hip. "Emma, the actions you've taken in the past make it very hard to trust you completely. Like I said, I don't think you'll do it again, but there's a possibility."

Emma crossed her arms and got teary eyed. She knew she'd screwed up with the Adderall pills, but it hurt that they thought she was still so weak that she'd go and get addicted to another drug.

"I can't believe this," Emma said, exasperated. "Well I'm definitely not going back to that damn therapist. She thinks I'm a drug addict, and apparently so do you two."

"Emma, we don't think you're an addict," Vanessa clarified. "We just need to be vigilant."

"Be vigilant on someone else," she said. "Like on Cisco. He's naked again."

Emma stormed off down the hall and slammed the door, causing Emilia to start crying. Cisco had stripped his diaper off and was running around naked from the waist down.

"Francisco!" Vanessa called to her young son. He laughed and started running away. It was like a game to him. "Oh, forget it," she said. It was more trouble than it was worth. Lin leaned against the counter with both hands.

"Do you think we're being unfair?" He asked his wife.

"No," Vanessa said, rubbing Emilia's back as she swayed. "Didn't you say the other day she asked if she could get more pills from Sam?"

Lin nodded.

"Then she's nuts," Vanessa said. "Of course we're going to be concerned."

Lin sighed, pushing himself up to standing. "I'll let her cool down a bit then I'll go talk to her."