The girls ended up staying home from school Monday and Tuesday. Emma thought she would be able to go back right away, but it was harder than she'd thought. On Monday morning, she'd actually ridden the subway to school and walked up the steps. When she got to the front door, she panicked. She ended up going home, rattled.

On Wednesday, Lin decided to take the girls to school to help ease the transition. Most of the student body was back, but there were a couple kids still in the hospital. No one had died, luckily, but it still left the entire school unhinged. It was good to get back into a routine. Lin thought it would help the girls as well.

Emma still wore her arm in a sling as they entered the school building. Lexi stayed close to her dad, still very much his shadow. She was the most unsure out of the two girls about returning. When they got to the front door, Lin noticed Emma pause.

"It's okay," he assured her. "Nothing's going to happen to you."

She nodded, took a deep breath, and opened the door. Once she was inside, Emma seemed fine. She said bye to Lin and found her locker and her friends. Lin walked with Lexi down the hall to find her own locker. It took her three times to get her combination right.

"You feeling okay, kiddo?" He asked her as she finally opened her locker.

"No," she said honestly. "Can't I stay home again?"

"Sweetheart, it's time," he said. "It's been almost a week. Do you want me to pick you up after school? We can get ice cream?"

That seemed to help. Ice cream was the way to this child's heart. Lexi put away her books and got out her needed items for her first few morning classes. She sighed and leaned in to him for a hug. Lin wrapped his arms around her and planted a kiss on the top of her head.

"You'll be fine," he told her, looking her in the eye. Lexi nodded and headed to class. Lin left and headed to a nearby coffee shop to work. He half expected to get a phone call saying one of his kids needed to be picked up. At around 11:00 when he hadn't gotten a call, he headed home.

He picked Lexi up at 3:00 as promised. Emma had ballet, so she headed to the studio. She wouldn't be able to do everything, but the most important part - her legs - were fine. The doctor told Emma that her arm should be fine within a couple weeks. It was a small setback.

Lin and Lexi stopped by the boys' daycare on the way home and then they all went out for ice cream. Both the boys wore most of their ice cream on their faces and shirts, but they were heading home next where they could change. Sebastian started screaming, not liking the feeling of his wet shirt. It was still relatively warm out, so Lin stripped his shirt off and tossed it in the diaper bag. After they were done, the four of them went home.

As usual, the boys went straight for their toys. After a few minutes, Sebastian disappeared into his room and came out with a toy gun. It hadn't occurred to Lin and Vanessa that they needed to hide them away for a while. Sebastian came running out, waving it around, then pulled the trigger, which made a popping sound.

All of a sudden, Lexi started screaming. She curled up in a little ball and started crying uncontrollably, almost hyperventilating. Lin rushed over to the couch where she was sitting and immediately enveloped her in a hug.

"Ssshhhh," he tried to comfort her. "It's just pretend. It's just Sebby."

Sebastian had tears in his eyes, thinking he'd upset his sister. Lin looked over at his little son. "Sebby, will you go put that back in your room please?" He asked his son gently.

Sebastian nodded and ran back to his bedroom. Lin continued to hold his daughter. She was shaking and crying so hard she was struggling to breathe. Lin knew she was having a panic attack, set off by the gun shots. He began rubbing her back and continued to say reassuring words to her.

It broke Lin's heart to see Lexi this way. He knew it had to be a side effect of her trauma at school. He continued to rub her back and rested his head against hers. Sebastian gingerly walked over and wrapped his little arms around her legs.

"It's okay, Wexi," he told his big sister. Lin reached out and rubbed his head affectionately.

"Thank you, bud," he said. "Lex is just having a hard time. Can you go play with Cisco?"

The little boy nodded and joined his brother on the floor with their trains. Somehow they both knew that they needed to play quietly for a while. Their dad needed to help Lexi right now. Finally, she began to collect herself, hiccupping a little bit. Lin pulled back and took her face between his hands.

"It's okay. You're safe," he reminded her, wiping away a tear with his thumb. She nodded as Lin sat back against the couch. She rested her head on his chest and just listened to him breathing. Somehow the gentle rise and fall of his chest calmed her down. Lin stroked her hair patiently, knowing she just needed to be held for a while. Suddenly, she was cold. Lin asked Sebastian to bring them a blanket, and he covered her up.

After another ten minutes or so, Lin pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "Do you want to talk about what just happened?"

She shook her head no.

"That's okay," he assured her. "How about I get you some hot chocolate?"

He moved to get up but she gripped him hard, so he sat back down. Lin knew he was stuck for a while and that was okay. A little while later, Vanessa and Emma arrived home at about the same time. Emma was oblivious, dead set on getting in the shower. Vanessa walked over, concerned. She leaned against the back of the couch.

"What's going on?"

"She just got a little overwhelmed," Lin explained, stroking Lexi's dark hair. "Seb was playing with a gun and the sound of the trigger set her off I think."

Vanessa nodded, then leaned down to press a kiss to the top of her head. "Hang in there, kiddo."

Lin turned his head to kiss his wife. "I think Cisco might need a diaper change. Sorry, I've been trapped."

"That's okay," she assured him. She scooped up her son and took him back to the bedroom to get changed.

A while later, Lexi had finally let Lin get up, but he was beginning to get concerned that she wasn't talking at all. She was barely responding to questions. After he'd asked her the same question three times from the kitchen, he strode over and knelt in front of her.

"Alexis, look at me please," he requested gently. Her eyes moved to him. "Are you okay? You're starting to worry me. You're not talking."

She just stared at him, not responding. Lin put a hand on her knee. "Sweetheart, can you say something for me? Anything?"

Nothing. He was concerned she was in some sort of shock or traumatic mutism. Physically, she seemed fine. Lin stood up and took her hand. "Come with me," he told her.

Lin walked her to the bathroom and had her sit on the toilet cover. He began to run a bath and put in lavender bubble bath. Lin went back to Cisco's room, where Vanessa was reading him a story.

"V?" He interrupted. She looked up at him. "Can you go help Lexi? I started running her a bath, but she seems kind of...frozen."

Vanessa set down the book and gently moved Cisco off her lap. Lin took a seat on the floor and took over. Vanessa travelled down the hallway and knocked on the door before pushing it open. The tub was almost full, so she reached over and turned off the faucet. Lexi was sitting there like a statue, staring off into nowhere.

Vanessa knelt down and front of her and gave her thighs a couple supportive rubs. "Lexi?" She asked, and the child didn't look at her. "Let's get you out of your clothes and into the tub, okay?"

Lexi didn't respond, but Vanessa reached for the hem of her shirt and then pulled it over her head. Lexi didn't resist, but wasn't helping. She gently pulled her up to stand, then unbuttoned her jeans and helped her step out. Vanessa put a couple fingers into the water to check the temperature and it was perfect. She took her daughter's hand and guided her to step into the tub.

Vanessa didn't feel like she could leave Lexi there alone. She sat on the toilet seat as Lexi sank down in the tub. After a minute, her little body began to shake a little with release. Her body had been so tense.

Vanessa decided she needed to talk to her, even if she wouldn't answer.

"Let me tell you about my day," she said quietly. "I missed my subway train so I was a little late coming in. My best friend at work covered for me, though. I was running so late I didn't have time for breakfast, but luckily she had a muffin in her desk to share."

Vanessa talked on about her day, sharing unimportant details just so Lexi was hearing her voice. As she soaked, Lexi seemed to calm down a bit more, and more color returned to her face. She started crying softly. Vanessa rolled up her sleeve and reached her hand into the tub, grasping her hand. She gently stroked it with her thumb..

"It's okay to cry," she assured her. "Let it out."

The water was starting to get cold so Vanessa reached in and pulled the plug. She grabbed a towel and held it out, and Lexi stepped into it, sniffling. Vanessa then took her hand and led her into her bedroom. Lexi sat down as Vanessa found her some clean underwear and the coziest pajamas she could find. She helped her dress, then sat on the bed next to her.

"Lexi, I think you had a panic attack earlier," she said. "Do you know what that is?"

Lexi shrugged.

"It's when your body gets really anxious. It can be set off by something that makes you nervous or something traumatic. I think Sebby playing with his gun may have taken your mind back to the shooting. Have you had a panic attack before?"

"No," she whispered.

"I'm sure it was scary," she said. "But Lin and I are here to help you. We'll hold you and stay with you as long as you want."

Lexi nodded and rested her head on Vanessa's shoulder. She felt tired. Exhausted, really. Vanessa noticed she was starting to fade fast, so she gently moved her daughter to lay down in bed. She pulled the covers up to her chin tight.

"If you get scared or hungry, come find me okay?" She gently ran a hand through Lexi's hair. Lexi's eyes were already closed, but she nodded. It was still light outside when she walked out and closed the door gently behind us.

The boys were in the living room playing, so Vanessa asked them to be extra quiet because Lexi had gone to bed early. Lin looked at his wife from the kitchen where he cooked, hoping she would give him an update. Vanessa walked over and hugged Lin.

"How's she doing?" He asked.

"She's better," Vanessa reported. "The bath helped I think. She started shaking and she was crying some more."

"Has she spoken to you?"

"She said one word," Vanessa reported.

"Well that's good," he said. "I was getting worried. I think we ought to keep her home tomorrow. What do you think?"

"Yeah," she agreed. "Maybe I'll see if the therapist can fit her in tomorrow."

Lexi ended up on their bedroom floor that evening. It was frustrating that she had tried going back to school and made it through the day only to have a major setback.

The next morning, Vanessa called the therapist they'd been using to see if she could fit Lexi in that day. Luckily, she had an opening. That morning, Lexi had still been pretty withdrawn and not very talkative at all. She was like a ghost of her real self. Vanessa worked from home so she could be there for Lexi since Lin had a busy day. Around 2:00, they took a cab to the therapists' office.

Vanessa dropped her off then walked around the corner to a coffee shop to work while Lexi had her session. An hour later, Vanessa came back to see Lexi in about the same state as she'd left her. The therapist thanked Lexi and then asked if she could speak to Vanessa in private. Lexi took a seat in the waiting room while Vanessa went into the office.

"Lexi still has a lot of anxiety about the shooting," she explained to Vanessa as they sat down. "She talked a lot about how worried she was about her older sister. They go to the same school?"

"Yes, they're both at Hunter," Vanessa said. "Emma's a junior and she got shot in the arm."

The therapist shook her head, obviously disgusted at the events. "I'm so sorry to hear that. Lexi mentioned she's out of the hospital and that she's already back at school."

"Yes. She tried to go back Monday, but had a hard time. She went Wednesday and today. She seems to be coping well."

"Lexi is feeling a bit guilty about the fact she's having such a hard time with this when her sister isn't," she went on. "So I think it's important for you and your husband to assure her it's okay she's having a hard time. Everyone deals with this in different ways."

"Yes," Vanessa agreed. "Lin and I are trying to be very supportive of her."

"I have some colleagues who are stationed at Hunter for the next few weeks. They have a lot of grief counselors on hand to held the kids deal with the trauma. I would encourage you to contact them and have Lexi talk with them several times a week."

"That's a great idea," Vanessa said. "I'll call the school tomorrow."

They wrapped up the conversation and then Vanessa met Lexi in the waiting room. She wrapped an arm around her as they walked out the door.

"Let's go get some ice cream," she suggested to her daughter. Lexi smiled just a little bit.

"I've been getting a lot of ice cream lately," she pointed out. "Not that I'm complaining."

"Well, ice cream is good when you're upset," Vanessa said as they walked outside. "It does you good."

Lexi and Vanessa both got an ice cream cone and sat outside at a little table and chairs.

"So, do you think your session helped a little?" Vanessa asked. Lexi shrugged. "You know, your therapist pointed out that there's counselors at Hunter for a couple weeks to help all the students. She suggested you go talk to them."

"Then everyone will know I'm a spaz," Lexi protested, not wanting to appear weak.

"Lex, tons of kids are going to those therapists," she said. "You went through a school shooting. You're gonna need help."

"Emma doesn't seem to need help."

"She does," Vanessa said. "She might be trying to act like she's fine, but she's not. She went through major trauma. I'm going to have her go talk to the counselors at Hunter too."

"She's not going to like that," Lexi said, licking her cone.

"She may not like it, but she needs to. Just like you. It's not shameful to get help."

Lexi just continued to lick her cone. Vanessa let the subject drop, not wanting to dwell on it. It was nice to just sit out in the nice weather eating ice cream with her daughter.

That night after dinner, Vanessa walked into Emma's room and closed the door. The teenager was throwing herself into her schoolwork, glad to have the distraction.

"Vanessa, I have a lot to get through," she said, writing something down on a paper.

"Emma, stop for a moment," she said, sitting down on her bed.

"I can't," she insisted.

"Yes you can," Vanessa said. "Put down your pencil and come sit with me."

Emma huffed but complied. "What?"

"First of all, how are you feeling physically? Are you in pain at all?"

"Nope," she said. "They've given me good meds."

"Good. Your prescription will run out in a few days, though. And you can't get a refill."

"I can't?"

"No," she said. "It's a Class C drug, so they try to prescribe it sparsely. I just want you to be prepared that you might be in pain. You'll have to survive on Advil."

"I'm sure I'll be fine," she said. "I'm used to pain from ballet."

"Alright," Vanessa said, hoping she wouldn't be too bad. "I also want to talk to you about seeing the therapists at Hunter. Lexi's therapist mentioned it today."

"Vanessa, I don't need to see a therapist," she said. "I'm fine. If I keep busy, I'm fine."

Vanessa put her hand on top of Emma's. "I know you think that, Emma. And I know that if you keep yourself really busy, it makes it hard to dwell on the shooting. But sweetheart, you've been through a really scary ordeal. Your brain needs to process it."

"What if I don't want to process it?" Emma pointed out. "I'd rather not think about it. What's the point in talking and thinking about it all the time? It's just going to make me upset."

"That may be what you think, but it's not healthy. You need to talk with someone."

Emma grumbled. "Fine," she said. "I'll go sometime this week."

"I'll set up an appointment for you," Vanessa said, suspicious that her daughter wouldn't go if she wasn't forced.

"Vanessa, you don't have to do that," she said.

"I want to make sure you go."

"So you don't trust me?"

"Not exactly," Vanessa admitted. "You seem to be resistant to this. I'm just trying to make sure you get through this okay."

Emma crossed her arms, pissed that Vanessa was trying to interfere in her life. Emma wanted the shooting out of her mind.

"I'll text you with your appointment time," Vanessa said, standing up. "Don't stay up too late."

Vanessa walked out to the living room, where all the other kids, except for Emilia who was already in bed, were cuddling with Lin. It was pretty adorable. Lexi had her head on his lap, with Cisco curled up in front of her. Sebastian was on his father's lap. They all adored their father. She hated to break it up, but it was the boys' bedtime.

"Alright, Cisco and Sebby, time for a bath," Vanessa announced. Sebastian protested, but Lin backed his wife up. Vanessa picked up Cisco and took Sebastian by the hand. Lin looked up at his wife and silently communicated that he needed to stay with Lexi. Vanessa understood. She could handle the boys by herself just fine.

Lin and Lexi watched a funny show on television, trying to keep the mood light. Now that they were alone, he brought up school.

"Do you think you want to go back to school tomorrow?" He asked as he stroked her hair.

"I dunno," she said. "Probably not."

"Are you afraid?"

"No," she said.

"Then why don't you want to go?" He asked gently. He and Vanessa had had a brief conversation about Lexi's therapy appointment and he knew she was feeling guilty about her feelings.

"I don't know," she said softly.

"How were the other kids?"

"Okay I guess," she said. "Most of them seemed normal."

"Did you see other kids going to the counselors there?"

"Yeah," she said.

"So, don't you think that if you're having a hard time at school, you could go visit them?" He pointed out gently. She was quiet, playing with her lip with her finger, thinking.

"What if I have another panic attack?" She said. Lin guided her to sit up and put the TV on mute.

"Is that what you're most afraid of now?" He asked, looking at her directly.

"I guess," she said.

"I'm sure that's causing you some anxiety," he said. "Are you afraid of what the other kids will think if you have a panic attack?"

She nodded.

"Well, if it happens, it happens," he said. "If it does, you can excuse yourself and go to the bathroom or the nurse. I can talk to your teachers so they know what's going on and so they can let you leave if you need to."

Lexi had a tendency to make problems bigger than they really were in her head. She didn't always advocate for herself. Lin and Vanessa were always there to step in if needed, but they wanted her to stick up for herself and tell others if she needed something.

"I don't know," she said, not totally convinced.

"I think it's a good idea," Lin said, stroking her shoulder supportively. "And if you have a panic attack, I'll come get you and we'll get ice cream."

Lexi smiled a little bit. That seemed to be her parents' solution for everything right now.

"So what do you say?" Lin prompted her. "You wanna try going back to school tomorrow?"

She was quiet for a moment, thinking. "Will you drop me off and pick me up?"

"Of course," he answered immediately. Lin pulled her in for a hug, pressing a kiss to her head. "I love you so much."

"I love you too," she said into his shirt.

___

The next day, Lexi wasn't feeling as confident. She was stalling, taking her time getting ready. Lin tried to hurry her along, but made sure he was patient and not too demanding. Finally, she was ready. Emma had already left. By the time the subway reached the school, they were about ten minutes late.

Lin walked Lexi into school and took her to the office to get her a tardy pass. They then walked to her locker and she unpacked her things. Lin noticed she was getting a little teary eyed.

"Remember what we talked about," he said. "If you get panicky, you just walk out. I've already emailed all your teachers."

She nodded but didn't respond, biting her lip. "I'll meet you out front after school. I love you, kiddo."

He held out his arms for a hug, and she hugged him back tightly. Lin gave her a few pats on the back and kissed the top of her head. "Have a good day."

He watched her walk the other way. She looked over her shoulder once and he smiled and waved at her, trying to keep it positive. Once she'd disappeared into her classroom, Lin sighed and headed out. He hoped Lexi would have a good day.

___

Emma got a text from Vanessa during second period. She'd made her an appointment with her therapist during study hall at 2:00. Emma knew that Vanessa would be checking in to make sure she'd gone. At 2:00, she reluctantly went to the office for her appointment.

"Hi, Emma!" One of the counselors said, way too overenthusiastically.

"Hi," she replied flatly. "My mom made me an appointment with you."

"Yes, yes," she said, shuffling some papers in her makeshift office. "Come sit."

Emma set down her backpack, looking at the clock. Hopefully this wouldn't last long and she'd still be able to have some study hall time to get work done. The therapist opened up with the expected questions. Where had she been the day of the shooting? What injuries did you receive? How long were you in the hospital? And of course, how are you feeling?

"I'm feeling fine," Emma told her, wanting to get it over with.

"Are you having any nightmares?"

"No," she said.

"Have you been startled by any loud noises?"

"No."

"Well, Emma," she said. "You seem to be coping just fine on the outside. You're an outstanding student and a ballerina, I understand. Have you let yourself relax since the incident?"

"What do you mean?"

"Have you taken a break from school? From ballet?"

"Not really," she said.

"What do you think would happen if you just took a day off and just did things for fun? Do you think your mind would wander?"

"Probably," Emma admitted. "That's why I'd rather stay busy."

She nodded, thinking she was on to something. "Emma, when a person's been through a traumatic experience, the brain needs time to process. Though it's painful, you need time to process what happened. Pushing it away and keeping yourself too busy to think isn't healthy."

"You sound like my mother," she said.

The counselor laughed at that. "Well, she's a smart woman. She's concerned about you."

"Look, I'm not in denial or anything," Emma explained. "I know I went through a traumatic experience. I'll have a scar the rest of my life to prove it. But I'm moving on. Isn't that normal too?"

"Yes," she said. "At some point. But this is still very fresh."

Emma sighed and looked up at the clock.

"I know you're really busy and you'd probably like some study time," she said, taking out a piece of paper. "But I'd like us to have a conversation every day for the next week or so. Why don't you come in this same time tomorrow."

"Every day?" Emma asked, exasperated.

"Yes," she said, writing a pass. "Emma, you need to give yourself the time. It's not showing weakness. You need time to process this."

Emma took the pass back to class from the counselor's hand. "Thanks," she mumbled, then left the room as quickly as possible. She hurried down the hallway to her study hall and immediately threw herself into work. As she began, she stopped for a moment. She liked being busy. She liked not having time to dwell on the bad things that happened. Wasn't that normal? Didn't that just mean she was driven?

Emma sighed and dismissed her thoughts away and focused on her math homework. Focused on work, she was happy. Or at least not panicking.