"Women who say getting married was the best day of their life have obviously never had 2 Kitkats fall out of a vending machine by mistake." – Periwinkle Jones

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"Slowly but surely, a wild Sushi appears..."

"Fletcher, what are you doing?"

"Being a ninja waiter?"

"Well, can you ninja my history teacher until he relents and stops giving us two thousand word essays? Please and thank you."

"Woah, that's a lot of words."

"No shit, Sherlock."

"Elementary, my dear Watson."

"Hey, have you met my brother?"

"I don't know, have I?"

"Um, dude, my question was grammatically correct."

"I know, but I honestly don't know whether I've met your brother or not."

"Did you just use I know and I don't know in the same sentence?"

"Deal with it."

"Just go get someone to get me ice cream, asshole."

"Okie-dokie, Your Royal Highness."