That unfaithful night, I came home to find my wife, Karen, complaining on the phone about how she recently got a present (from yours truly) that was Gucci, not Versace...typical Karen. I made my best attempt to lay my hydroflask in the sink to only find it tip over. Sksksksksksksksk reverberated through the house until my hydroflask came to a slow stop. At this moment, I realized how annoying, yet welcoming and addicting this noise seemed. I picked up my new hydroflask and analyzed the orange and pink gradience that accompanied the black cap and white logo. Again, I tried to lay my hydroflask in the sink, but this time I purposely tipped it over to listen to its melodious tune. Sksksksksksksksk filled my house once again, leading to my wife, Karen, storming in to complain.

"Oh my god Peter. I'm on the phone complaining about how I want a refund on the Guuci bag you gifted me, could you settle the fuck down little bitch?" complained Karen.

"Okay boomer."

"Excuse me? Oh my fucking. I can't believe it! Sheri, my so-called husband just called me old! OMG, I know right? I wish I could get a refund on my husband." complained Karen once again as she stormed down the hallway and up the stairs to lock herself in her room.

What a riot, am I right? Yeah no, I too want to beat my head in with a hydro flask. But nonetheless, with Karen gone, I continued to repeat the proccess of tipping over my hydro flask to listen to such a breathtakingly, beautiful noise. Oh how have I longed for such a favorable noise that could tune out the complaining of Karen. At least this hydro flask will not call me a little bitch and complain all the fucking time. Now, I finally have found my true love, my own hydro flask. At first I thought this statement I had thought to myself at the time was a harmless joke, but I was terribly mistakened. Such an obsession with this hydro flask led to me buying more to accidently drop around the house, sometimes even at the store before I purchased the hydro flask. A couple of times I even found myself mimicing the noise, softly going, "Sksksksksksksksk." One could call me a disgrace, but I call myself a man of hydro flasks.