Fast forward to 30 minutes from now, Joy is nowhere to be found and you're sitting at a table with Jungkook, brushing your fingertip along your empty glass. Jungkook is leaning back, arms splayed out on the back of the booth behind him. He's occasionally looking over at you, contemplating whether or not he should make a move on you, knowing of your vulnerable state.

You let out a soft sigh before a woman starts walking towards your table, ready to begin dancing for you and Jungkook. Jungkook's eyes wander as he looks over at the girl for a moment, arching an eyebrow as he eyes the woman's curvaceous body.

"Mind if I dance for you two?" she questions. You merely nod your head, not allowing yourself to look at the woman. She stands up on the table and begins dancing for the two of you, Jungkook's eyes now staring at her as she does so.

You remain still, staring at the empty glass as you think about Jimin, the alcohol not having the same effect on you as it used to.

It used to make you say everything on your mind. It used to make you far more social person. Now, it just reminds you of the fact that you hurt a man who promised to never hurt you.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" you hear. This snaps you out of your cloud of despair, making your head snap up to look at the person speaking to you. Your eyes immediately widen, all depressing effects of the alcohol wearing off. "The last time I saw you, you were far happier than you are right now."

Hwasa?

You gulp while staring up at her, her lips pursed as she stares up at you, arching an eyebrow. Upon seeing the spark of realization in your eyes, she softly smiles down at you before crouching down to be at eye level with you.

Jungkook merely watches, confusion in his face.

"Do you always take new men in here to pick up girls?" she teases while nodding her head towards Jungkook. You look over to Jungkook, who furrows his eyebrows while staring up at her.

"What's she talking about?" you widen your eyes.

We may not be together anymore, but that doesn't mean I won't abide by our rules.

"Nothing," you squeal out before turning to face Jungkook fully. "Jungkook, I think I could use another shot. Do you think you could order one for me?"

Jungkook tilts his head to the side, eyebrows still furrowed as he glances up at Hwasa once more. Slowly, he begins nodding his head before slipping out of the booth and making his way toward the bar.

Looking up at Hwasa, you take a moment to admire her beauty. Today, she's in a black revealing outfit that accentuates her legs. The black latex bodysuit is cut off at her crotch area, while the upper part of the outfit wraps around her neck, leaving her tanned shoulders out in the open. There's a slit in the latex down the center of her torso, revealing a bit of the skin between her breasts which are tucked in tightly to the outfit. A pair of fishnet stockings can be seen underneath the latex bodysuit, making the men at other tables ogle over her.

She's wearing a nude lipstick today with smokier eyeshadow covering her eyelids. While you're examining her face, she's staring back down at you, not even attempting to hide the smirk on her face.

"Ah, you know it's rude to stare." She teases while reaching down to take the ends of your hair between her fingertips, twirling and wrapping the ends of your hair between her index and middle fingers. Shaking your head as you snap out of the trance, you look her in the eye as she continues twirling the soft texture of your hair in her fingertips.

"It's nice to see you again, Hwasa." You politely say before smiling up at her softly. She tilts her head to the side towards where Jungkook is at the bar.

"What's with the new man being your company tonight?" she questions, arching an eyebrow.

"Oh... um..." you shyly look down, regretting that you even left the house today. "Jimin and I kinda... broke up."

Hwasa's eyebrows lift quickly as she fails to hide the surprise in her face. Leaning back on the table, she sits down fully, her hands in her lap as she sits on her knees.

"Huh..." she mumbles for a moment while thinking to herself. This causes you to furrow your eyebrows at her behavior.

"What? Why are you reacting like that?" she shakes her head for a moment before staring down at you, sympathy present in her eyes.

"I just... you two seemed so good for each other. I could see it in the way he looked at you." She shrugs. "Is the spark gone or something?"

You quickly shake your head and gesture towards Jungkook.

"We aren't dating." You confidently blurt out. She merely glances over at the man sitting at the counter, waiting for the bartender to take his order. After staring for a few seconds, she turns to you and nods her head.

"I know."

Bewildered, you start to furrow your eyebrows, growing defensive.

"What do you mean you know?" Sensing your defensiveness, she quickly holds up both hands, surrendering with a small bit of laughter escaping her lips.

"Princess, relax." She places a soft hand on your shoulder. "I know because I can see the difference in the way you act with him."

You grow quiet, eyes trailing over to Jungkook, watching as he talks to the bartender.

"Jimin didn't even look at me that much when I danced for you two. He was more focused on you." She points her thumb towards Jungkook's direction as he hunches over while the bartender starts preparing some shots for him. "This guy? Easily distracted by other women. Clearly." She states while gesturing to her outfit.

"Things just got complicated with Jimin and I." you utter out. Hwasa merely nods her head slowly while she stares down at you.

"Well, if you want to ditch the loser and hang out with me, you know where to find me." she states before slipping her legs off of the table. Smoothly sliding off of the tabletop, she starts walking away, giving you a wink and a wave while walking towards another table.

You're left staring at her body as she walks away when Jungkook gets back to the table.

"What was that weird dancer talking about?" Jungkook questions while setting down 7 glasses of shots. This causes you to lift your eyebrows.

"Jungkook, I asked for one shot. Why'd you grab so many?" you stare at the man, bewildered. He lets out a soft laugh.

"I have a high alcohol tolerance." He shrugs before downing a shot as he passes one to you with his other hand. Making a quick face of disgust, he sets the shot glass down before turning to you as he smiles.

I'm only having 2 more shots max.

________________________________________________________________________________

You're surprisingly still controlling yourself. You had only the amount you allowed yourself to have and you're still thinking clearly.

But you can't say the same for Jungkook, who had to finish the remaining 5 shots.

"C'mon, Y/N, how come you don't want to go home with me?" Jungkook pouts while staring in your direction. Shaking your head, you roll your eyes.

"Because," you let out a soft sigh. "You know I only have feelings for Jimin."

"He dumped you though." He whines while staring over at you. You can tell that the dangerous liquid is making him let out his real thoughts. This drink is causing him to be honest with you. "C'mon, he's not your boyfriend right now."

"But Jimin had a secret to tell me earlier." You say while looking down at your lap, playing with your fingers.

Jungkook grows quiet as he sighs, placing an arm around your shoulder for a moment.

"Just one night, Jimin won't know." He states. You quickly shake your head while scooting further away from him.

"You couldn't handle me even if you tried." You mumble while he arches an eyebrow, intrigued by your statement.

"I couldn't handle you?" he asks while narrowing his eyes up at you, ready for a challenge.

"Yeah."

"Why's that?" he leans in, his lips nearing yours.

Feeling the panic bubbling in your chest, you lean away from him. Scooting in the other direction in the booth, you shake your head quickly.

He warned me about you.

I won't let you do what Taehyung said.

"You can't handle me." You repeat.

"I promise, I can." You shake your head insistently, gently pushing on his chest as he leans in further to kiss you.

You couldn't handle my kink the way Jimin did.

You watch as Jungkook begins to slur a little, becoming more giggly as the alcohol fully kicks in. Already able to tell he won't remember anything you said tonight, you go for it.

"I promise, you can't," you start. "Unless you're willing to let me watch you having sex with someone else." You let out a fake laugh as Jungkook rests his head on your shoulder. He laughs on your shoulder, staring up at you.

"Watch me... watch me have sex with someone... else?" he states before frowning as he stares up at you, his arm reaching up to tap your chin gently. "Are you joking around with me? There's no way you'd have such a... creepy fantasy like that."

"Creepy, huh?" you ask before your face starts to heat up, feeling embarrassed. Gulping, you look down at your lap for a moment, nodding your head slowly.

I knew it.

"You don't like me back, huh, Y/N?" he asks quietly while his head still rests on your shoulder.

Looking down at the man, you watch as his face remains neutral. Except for his eyes.

His eyes contain a kind of pain that you remember seeing in Jimin's eyes. His normally sparkly eyes are now dull, no sparkle to them.

I'm sorry.

The way he looks right now reminds you of the time he was trying to help around the office and no one would ask him for help. The look on his face reminds you of the day where you allowed him to "correct" your mistake.

"I do like you, but not the way that you want me to, Jungkook..." you drift off before looking down at the man. He's fallen asleep on your shoulder and he's now softly snoring. Grinning sadly at the man, you reach into the pocket of his black leather jacket and pull out his phone.

Placing his thumb on the button, his phone unlocks and you dial Taehyung's number on his phone.

"Hey man, what's up?" the deep voice speaks through the other side of the line.

"Hi. Jungkook and I are at a club and he drank too much. He fell asleep on my shoulder." You say before looking down at him. "Do you think you can come get him and take him home?"

The line gets quiet for a moment before you hear some shuffling.

"Yeah. I'm on my way."

You hang up the phone and place it back into his pocket, gently patting the man's head as you look around at everyone in the bar.

Everyone else looks happy while you're sitting here with a drunk man on your shoulder. A drunk man who claimed he likes you but unknowingly confirmed that he doesn't really like you. He just admitted that he can't handle you.

You softly sigh as you wait for Taehyung to get to the bar, your mind drifting off to Jimin.

I'm sorry I resorted to breaking up with you. I shouldn't have done that. I see that now.

***
My online class starts today and I'm a little nervous 😭 but it's only a 4 week class so it should be fine lmao

I just recently started paying attention to everything going on in the BLM movement again now that I'll have school to distract me when it gets to be too much. George Floyd's murderers are being released on bail BY DONATIONS. Can you believe that? People are so racist that they're donating money to get literal killers out of jail bc they killed a black person. It's truly disgusting. I've heard that one officer was in training or just started his job, but you should know that if someone says "I can't breathe," whatever you're doing to that person isn't protocol for your job. The bystander got bailed out as well when he could've stopped Mr. Floyd's death entirely.

Breonna Taylor's murderers haven't been arrested still. Some lost their jobs but come on, they're fucking murderers. What more do I need to say for people to realize that these murderers are too dangerous to be out roaming the streets like normal everyday people?

Elijah McClain's murderer was caught exchanging text messages with other police making fun of the incident. One cop took a picture mocking the chokehold that killed him while smiling with two other cops and Elijah's murderer said "lol" and continued making jokes of it. What does the government do? Fire them for MAKING FUN OF HIM but not for KILLING him. Meanwhile, I'm sure there's black cops who have been accused of crimes they didn't do and are doing jail time for them. Fix the damn system.

Disney World is open. FLORIDA: YOUR CASES ARE GOING UP. NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR THAT. I know the economy is suffering and Disney World has people to pay, but come on. You don't even have a mask requirement. Fix it. Make one.

People are still refusing to wear masks and it's selfish and idiotic to say the least. If you have such a bad health condition that you can't wear one: DON'T. GO. OUT. It's not hard. If you're tired of being in quarantine, then fucking wear one or there will be another quarantine order. Japan didn't even have to close their economy and shut everything down bc they all wear masks. Non-mask-wearers are making the US look fucking dumb to the world. Sorry for my language, but fucking wear a mask.

As you can see, I'm ready to be an informative ally for the BLM movement as best to my ability. I want to use this small platform that I have to help in any way that I can. That little break from the news (to the best of my ability) helped me clear my head and now I'm slowly getting less anxious. It's gonna take time, but I think the distraction of having a summer class will help.

I hope all of you are doing well. Wear a mask, eat your fruits, drink water, and be healthy mentally and physically.

I think I follow someone who tested positive for corona on here and I forgot who it was, but if you are someone who reads this book, I hope you are healing well. My thoughts are with you.

I love all of you.

Kim 💗