Josette Winchester

May 21, 2018

Location: Some random ass town in a state I don't care about right now

Creature: god damn bloodsucking leeches

One of these days...I'll hang up the hunting hat for good. It seems like that's not happening anytime soon.

I'm lucky I'm able to write anything right now...I'm pissed. At myself. I'm upset. I've already cried the angry, mourning tears. My hand shakes, so maybe when someone reads this they'll wonder what the hell is wrong with this girl. I can give them a list. Maybe that can be a later entry: Everything Wrong with Josette Winchester.

It was a simple vamp's nest with Sam and Dean. We thought we had it under control. It was a milk run kind of deal, as Dean had labeled it. A nice, quick, clean hunt. Practically child's play, for hunters like us.

I can't even remember where the hell we are right now, what state, city, or town; my mind is so fogged, my emotions are fuming. I think we might be in the Mid-west somewhere.

Three hunters with years of experience under their belts...it should've been a cake walk. Yeah, sure, vampires have the human appearance and walk among us, but it's their bloodlust that gives them away every time. Not to mention those chompers when they're about to chow down or you get one cornered. Or the fact that they have incredible all around strength, agility, speed, and senses.

To normal people, you wouldn't know a vamp from your next door neighbor. But hey, I'm no ordinary person, and neither are my brothers.

I should know better than to think that we're invincible. Sometimes the hunter mentality makes me believe we're borderline immortal. We're just as mortal as regular people, but we have more ways to die. Monster mutilation. Hearts ripped out from our chests. Throats ripped out. The more supernatural ways to die.

Turns out my brothers and I didn't have things under control. There were more vampires than expected, and they had a game plan. Their numbers were overwhelming. Dare I say it, they were smart. It's not often you find a monster who has enough of a brain to try and outsmart a hunter or two, let alone a trio of hunting siblings.

Winchesters have a habit of getting mortally wounded, sure, but we have a resurrection rate like the world has never seen.

My baby brother...God, Sammy, I'm so sorry. I failed you as a big sister. I should have...

This isn't a letter to a dead loved one. This isn't a sob story entry. No, I need to refocus, and so does Dean. He's currently somewhere, no doubt deep in a bottle. I don't want to fall into that trap, I guess this is a healthier outlet. But, is it really? Murder is on the brain and on my tongue.

I should probably look for my brother, but since he took the only mode of transportation I'm stuck in the motel room, awaiting his return. Hopefully he does return...

Being a person who fights to save others requires a level head. That gets tossed out the window the second your job hits those closest to you.

Dean and I need to find those bloodsuckers and go Queen of Hearts on their asses—off with all their heads! They took Sammy from us. They can't seriously think that we're not going to go after them? They clearly haven't heard our names before. Other monsters shit themselves at the whisper of us. We are by no means legends in the hunting world, more like famous...or infamous...it all depends on your view.

As I write, the helpless feeling hits me square in the chest. Hearing Sam scream for Dean and me...and the fact they carried him off just as we finished our vampires...He bled so badly, I didn't want to believe it was already too late and going after him was suicide...

In all of our defeats, this one hits the hardest.

Dad would be so disappointed in us if he were still around. I know for a fact that I am. He's always told us "watch over your brother", "watch over Sammy". Even between Dean and me, we still lost our little brother.

I guess revenge is a Winchester trait. Dad felt it when he lost Mom to the psycho yellow-eyed demon. Dean and I feel it now. It's an angry burn inside my chest.

Once Dean comes back, we'll get right back to it. We can't let our mourning get in the way of our focus. This is already derailing us enough.

We have to track down the vampires and obliterate what's left of them. Hopefully we find Sam's body; we're not letting them pick him clean like vultures. Is Sam useful to them? Vampires don't drain a body when it's cold; they thrive on the blood of the living.

I'm not sure how prepared I can make myself be to see Sam's body. I've seen plenty in my hunting days, but this is someone I know. I share blood with him. He's family. Nobody wants the day to come where they see their family leave them in Death's hands.

We need Sam back; I refuse to leave him in the hands of strangers. Maybe when we find him we'll decide he needs to rest in Heaven and not continue to fight the bloody fight. I don't want to say it out loud to Dean, because he'll want to bring Sam back.

Sometimes, though, you need to realize when one resurrection is one too many.

Dean's just come back, and he looks broodingly angry. Shit, he just tossed the lamp in the motel room. His rage is palpable right now. I need to go calm him down before he does more things that he'll regret.

To whoever reads this, don't ever get your family involved in hunting. Bad things happen to good people, to those closest to you. This life snatches good people away before you can have a hope of catching them. This is a storm that never lets you go until it's ready to take you in the only way it knows how: death.

This is a hunter's life: thankless, payless, difficult.

But the worst of all: it's endless.

**This gem is written for a little contest that WattSupernatural is currently holding - Hunter Diaries 2.0 in their Celestial Trials book. It's a journal entry with the theme of revenge. They say we can use an OC to write this entry.

Instead of making an all-new OC for just this, I figured I'd give one of my Supernatural girls the spotlight. Who better than Josette, our beloved middle Winchester?**