L o u i s a

"Now those precious moments. That we carved in stone, are only memories after all." - Memories, Shawn Mendes

I'll stand by you

For as long as I can

But I can't be there

For eternity long.

Standing here

By your lifeless body

Reminds me of failure.

Like how you failed her.

And how I failed you.

*

Sam.

My mind is screaming his name over and over again, playing the exact moment our fingertips brushed and he fell onto the sharp rocks below. His eyes just wide open, completely and utterly horrified, so helpless and vulnerable. And I couldn't do anything about it.

Was this how he felt as he watched Lily fall into the icy lake?

I understand how he felt now, when he said he felt so useless. That it should have been him.

It should have been me to fall. I was the one who ran away from the group to hide. He was the one to come looking for me, just to see if I was okay. We'd never have been in that situation if we didn't go away in the first place.

But, I guess, there's nothing we can do about it now. What's happened, happened. Now we can only hope for the best.

But that's the major flaw here. Hope. It's what lifts our spirits so high, only to crush it and leave us stranded.

"Is he okay?" I ask a passing nurse frantically.

She gives me a look like I'm crazy before walking away, completely ignoring my question.

I heave an exhausted sigh, resting my elbows on my knees and burying my face in the palms of my hands.

I can't believe I'm here again. Waiting anxiously in a hospital hallway that is just way too bright and white. Waiting for someone to come out and tell me that everything is going to be okay.

Except, last time, it didn't.

*

"Mum, Mum," I said hastily, out of breath. "I ran here as fast as I could. What happened?"

"I'm so sorry for calling you back so fast. I know how much you needed your rest. You've spent your whole night by your father's side. Always the loving and caring daughter," she said softly.

"Mum," I replied, more forcefully. "Mum, please tell me what happened."

"Poor Oliver has been in this hospital for so many months. And in so much pain. He wanted to bring you to Italy for your birthday last month but his doctors won't allow him to travel."

Mum was avoiding the question. The pit in my stomach grew with every passing second. Something definitely wasn't right. This wasn't like Mum at all. The mum I knew would never go in circles about anything. She hated long windedness.

"Mum. Please tell me."

She held me by my shoulders, looking at me sadly, like she was in denial of what's going on. My heart stopped and my hands started to get clammy. I know that look. It's the look she had just as she was about to deliver some bad news.

And we're at a hospital.

That wasn't a good combination at all.

This did not seem like it was going to end well.

"L-L-Louisa," she stuttered. "Your dad."

No.

I could feel all the blood drain from my face instantly, before she even told me anything.

"What about that?" I replied, almost scared to hear the answer.

She took a shaky breath of air, her hands shaking. "He had a really bad heart attack."

"What?" I exclaimed, my voice echoing through the busy hospital hallways.

Patients, nurses, hospital staff and visitors all turned to look at me, disgusted at me for my sudden outburst. And standing here, in the centre of attention, I just felt like making myself as small as I could and crawling under the covers.

It felt as though someone had just poured icy cold water over my head and left me standing out in the middle of the busiest street in town, in shock, upset and humiliated.

Hot tears started pooling in my eyes, rolling down my cheeks.

"Please don't tell me it's true, Mum. Please say it's all just a lie," I breathed, sobbing.

She shook her head, forcing a smile although I could clearly see the tears going down her face. She's staying strong. For me. For the both of us. It completely broke my heart to see her so broken and defeated like that.

Dad meant the world to me. To both of us. To all of us, even Lowella, who kept denying her love for Dad.

He can't leave us.

"But he's still alive, hun. All we can hope for now is that the doctors can save his life," she whispered, pulling me into a hug.

"He has to," I breathed.

"Shh," she cooed, rubbing my back in an attempt to comfort me. "Shh, sweetie. Shh."

"Mrs Simmons?" a nurse called.

"Here," Mum replied, raising her hand.

I pulled away from her embrace, brushing away the tears with the back of my hand and put on a brave face.

"Regarding your husband's condition," she started, her face grim.

Please don't say what I think you're going to say.

Please say that you look so grim only because you look like that all the time.

"I'm so sorry to tell you this but he passed away just a few minutes ago. We did everything we could," she told us apologetically.

No.

I reached out to grab Mum's hand, my legs starting to grow weak.

The nurse continued talking to Mum, explaining to Mum what had happened, but it all went in one ear and out the other. Nothing she said was making sense.

Nothing at all made sense.

It couldn't be. It couldn't be happening. Not today. Not now.

My dad, my strong, loving Dad, so full of life. Gone, just like that. Just in the blink of an eye. And I didn't even get to say goodbye.

I knew he would have had to leave us sooner or later. I just didn't anticipate it to be this soon. He couldn't leave me now. I'm not ready to let him go.

He couldn't leave me all alone.

I mean, I knew I still had Mum and Lowella by my side but it's not the same. I've always been closest to Dad. He's my rock, the one person - the only person - I could always look up to and talk to no matter what the situation. The one person who's always there for me, who guided me through every situation I faced, no matter how difficult or how messy it got.

He's the only person I could turn to.

And now, he's gone. From my life. Forever.

Tears started going down my face in a never ending stream and I didn't bother to wipe them away. Why should I? I had just lost my dad, my best friend.

Nothing would be the same without him.

All the precious moments that we shared together, both with Mum and Lowella, and just between us, started racing through my mind. The time he surprised me with a spontaneous trip to the beach. The time we spent in a holiday resort in Bali. The time he brought us to a glass igloo in Iceland to watch the Northern lights with our own eyes. And so many more.

All they were now are precious memories, beautifully and intricately carved into our minds.

It couldn't be possible.

It's not possible that I'm not able to make any more memories with Dad.

"Lou, are you okay?" Mum asked, looking at me with eyes brimmed with tears, placing a hand on my back, plastering a smile on her face.

"Do I look like I'm okay?" I replied, nearly shouting, my breath jagged, my eyes most likely red and wild.

Mum seemed taken aback by my outburst. "Lou."

I shook my head. "No, Mum. I refuse to believe Dad is dead."

"Lou," she tried again. "Please, Lou. Let's go home. There's nothing we can do anymore."

I sighed, completely defeated. "Fine," I whispered.

Home.

It didn't even feel like home anymore.

It just felt like a cold, empty house with only the memories of the best, loving father - parent - I could ever have to keep my company.

*

And here I am, once again, albeit in a different hospital. But it's equally as constricting.

After weeks of being with Dad in the hospital, by his bedside, for as long as I could, and he just left like that. I know he didn't choose to leave me, but that's the thing. Death never waits for anyone's approval. It just takes whoever it wants, whenever it wants.

One minute you can be there and the next, you're gone.

I can't stand just waiting here, idly by, for any news at all. Will Sam be alright? I know the medics told me that he's likely to recover but there's this nagging feeling in my heart that just won't go away.

Because what if he doesn't get better?

What if he is one of the very unlucky ones to not get better?

And I thought we were going somewhere. I thought we could actually do it, that we could actually, somehow, make us work. I thought that maybe, for once, life would actually go the way I wanted. And then, this happens.

Accidents sure do have an impeccably wrong timing. It's so frustrating.

"Hey, Lou. I got you a sandwich," Basil says, placing a hand gently on my shoulder, sitting in the chair beside me.

I shake my head. "I'm not hungry," I reply stiffly.

Basil lets out a tired sigh. "Come on, Lou. You have to eat something. You've been waiting here for hours."

"It's only right that I wait here. I was the one who couldn't save him."

"Lou, please. You should go home and take a shower and maybe get some rest. I'll stay here if you want and will call you the second I hear anything."

"I can't," I whisper, my lips quivering, my hand shaking, and it's not because of the cold.

I can't, because the last time I left someone in the hospital, they left me.

"No, you can. I'm bringing you home, Lou. You can't make me do otherwise," he says forcefully, grabbing my hand and standing up. "Gosh, Lou. You're so cold. You really need to take a warm shower and rest. Please."

I sigh, defeated. "Fine. But no more than for a couple of hours."

"Thank you."

I stand up and let him guide me out of the hospital while I walk drowsily behind him. We step out of the cold building, a wave of warm air hitting us instantly, and the doors behind us slide shut. We head towards his car and I get into the passenger's seat.

He starts the engine and drives off. I take a second glance at the hospital, hoping that the building is not the only thing I am driving away from.

___

A/N: Are you guys starting to understand what happened to Lou now? Haha. I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter. Don't forget to vote, comment and share!

Once again, if this gets 10 votes before Sunday, I'll upload the next chapter earlier. If not, see you then c: